Movin' right along here with chappie 3! Thanks for all the awesome reviews!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kagome lied down on her back against her mattress. Her face remained thoughtful and somewhat unreadable as she gazed at the ceiling in a stupor. Not long after Inuyasha had run out near in tears, the young reincarnated miko simply went into a sort of daze, reliving the moment when she allegedly broke all ties with Inuyasha almost two weeks ago.
Inuyasha…
He seemed so…heartbroken when she had finally snapped. Almost like he wanted to take it all back just so she wouldn't hate him. Her eyelids drooped slightly. She honestly hadn't meant to say nearly half of what she did. She was just upset and had exploded, Inuyasha was just the victim. She wouldn't blame him if he ran to Kikyo to seek comfort from his pain, but she would be crushed. At least she knew that if he had run to Kikyo, the said resurrected priestess wouldn't get angry at him so easily. She wouldn't get in his face or say that she hated him. She might not want him to stay by her side for the same reasons as Kagome, but at least he would have decided something so that she could move on. But that was the problem. Not only did she not want to move on, but this idea was pure speculation that Kikyo was soothing his dejected soul, and with no solid evidence to back it up, it remained speculation. She shut her eyes, letting her tears flow freely from her thick eyelashes. Oh, how her heart ached for her…for Inuyasha…for their possible relationship…so much that one girl's heart isn't supposed to support for this long. Thank the gods she was a priestess.
Then again, maybe she shouldn't be so glad that she wound up being a reincarnated priestess. After all, she was the reincarnation of Kikyo, the one who had originally fallen in love with Inuyasha. Even if he had chosen Kagome in the end, how was she supposed to know it was only a transfer of his love for Kikyo to Kagome's body? How could she tell whether or not he was imagining her to be his past love and fail to see her for her? She trusted him on that, but doubt was like an injection of snake venom to her faith; deadly, quickly dissolving what was left into a rotting corpse of what once was her unwavering trust in him. But where he was the venom, he was also the antidote. He would easily open up to her and to her alone. He had even once mentioned, in Naraku's nightmare vines, that he hadn't even come around for Kikyo, only for Kagome, though the two women were within the same basic vicinity. He had even gone so far as to grasp her hand tightly in reassurance and actually almost beg her to believe him to get his point across to her. Absentmindedly, Kagome wrung her hands together, almost imagining that her hanyou's rougher, larger hand clasped itself over the both of hers gently. She shook off the notion. No, that couldn't happen, not anymore. Tears threatened to return to her bloodshot eyes. He had left, and she was the one that had pushed him away. And, to top it all off, she had been in this daze for nearly two weeks, and she was still uncertain about what to do. Oh the irony of that; she had pushed him away because of his indecision at the start of this mess, but in the end it was she who held indecision on whether to return to the Feudal Era or not.
Sighing heavily, she slowly opened her eyes, staring at her plain white ceiling as if it had the answers to all her problems written all over it. That wouldn't be so bad, having one great big cheat sheet on your life that you could look at whenever you were in your room. But alas, things were never as simple as Kagome would have liked. When it boiled down to it, Inuyasha was still in his era, she was still in hers, and nothing had been accomplished from this but a living hell that they were both being put through. Oh, how she wanted so badly to run to the well and seek out her hanyou, but she was almost certain that he didn't want to see her anytime soon. Then again, she absolutely had to make things right with him. It was the least she could do…especially after…
"What if I'm tired of being around a disgusting half-breed that refuses to give my heart a break?"
Disgusting half-breed…that was what she had called him. She had no right to say that to him, no matter what turmoil she had been put through, that was something he was accustomed to hearing his entire life, and had trusted her not to hurt him in the same manner. She broke that trust. She didn't even mean to, she never wanted to, but she went and called him that foul name that cut his heart deep down no matter how tough he tried acting. She knew it upset him when he was called that, no matter whom or what was calling him that insult, it hurt all the same. But when a friend insults him like that…imagine how much worse it is…
"…I don't want to associate myself with you anymore…"
That was a flat out lie. She wanted to be his. His and only his, his first, his only love, she dreamt of it often, and prayed every night for it to be true. It always seemed that it was just a wild dream that could never be, and after what she said, even if she was just mad and taking out all her anger out on him, she blew it. She shot every chance of being with him out of the water. She would give anything to take it all back, to hug him close and say that she didn't mean any of it and try to put into words how sorry she was. But she feared that she might have pushed back too hard, too far.
"…I…I HATE YOU!"
She brought a clenched hand over her heart as she felt it give a painful stab of guilt and agony. She didn't even feel remotely close to that. She didn't hate him. She never did and never could. No matter how much someone tries to tell her otherwise, she knew that she couldn't find it within herself to hate him, no matter how much he had put her through. She loved him, and there was nothing that could change that. Even if, in the end, he chose Kikyo over her, she would still love him from a distance, giving him his space with his love. But…if he did chose Kagome…she would swear to any him, to any higher power, to anyone or anything, that she would remain at his side, always.
That had settled it right there.
She was going back.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Suspense! I love it! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-cough- -cough- well, push the little button below to tell me what you think. Ja-ne!