Restless Emotions Chapter 5: confessions of a puppy, an inuyasha fanfic

Thanks so much for all the great feedback so far everyone! Keep 'em coming; I love to know what people are thinking when they read my stories! Here's the next chappie (side note: I already have another chapter in mind, but if no one wants me to put it up, and just leave this chapter as the end, I'll just leave it here)

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"…Kagome…"

Her name tasted sweet on his tongue, even more so because he hadn't said it in nearly two weeks. He was more than tempted to throw his arms around her and beg for the forgiveness he knew he did not deserve, but he was even still sore over being called a disgusting half-breed by the one he loves. So, rather than give into his desires, he jerked his hand away from hers the moment her fingers brushed against his claws. It wasn't so much of a snatching his arm away so much as it was his hand twitching against her gentle touch before curling into his long flowing sleeve. When Kagome looked into his eyes for the first time in what seemed an eternity, he almost breathed a sigh of relief when he found no hatred or anger, or even disgust in her swirling vortexes of hazel and open emotions. Kagome couldn't help but choke back a sob as she saw the painfully evident sadness and hurt in his eyes. Up close, he appeared an even bigger mess than when she spotted him sitting under the tree. It almost looked like he had half a tube of eyeliner on each of his eyes because of the dark circles underneath them, his skin appeared sheet-white, making the term "white as a ghost" seem more of a reality than a phrase, almost matching his silver locks of long hair, and his eyes…oh gods, those gorgeous amber eyes were too beautiful to be so bloodshot and full of tears. The sight made her heart look almost completely whole, he appeared so broken. His eyes asked the question he could not in words; he asked her why…why did she have to call him such a foul name? She answered almost timidly, her voice choking from keeping her tears at bay.

"I…I'm so sorry…" She whispered, slowly wrapping her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. His arms didn't hesitate to find their way around her body gently to hold her closer to him, resting his cheek against the crown of her head. His tired amber orbs were covered by his heavy eyelids as he breathed in her scent with shaky, almost timid, breaths.

"I didn't mean it…any of it…please forgive me!" She whispered against his chest, nuzzling her head into the fire rat haori. Inuyasha shook his head a little against her ebony hair, placing one hand on the back of her head to keep her there with him.

"You don't have to ask for something you didn't even need. If anything, after all this hell I put you through…it's me that should be doing the apologizing, Kagome." Though his hold was gentle, so light that if she had taken a single step backward, she wouldn't have to put forth much effort to walk out of his embrace, Kagome only leaned more into his chest, sighing quietly into the fabric of the fire rat haori. Despite how much pain the two had been put through these past two weeks, she smiled, and decided to use his own words against him.

"You don't have to ask for something you didn't even need." He couldn't keep the grin from spreading across his face in utter relief. Having that much of a weight being lifted from his heart only caused him to deepen his embrace, tightening his arms considerably around her waist a moment before attempting to pull away to look her in the eye. However, upon stepping backwards, his legs gave out under him, and he nearly fell to his knees, had Kagome not placed her arms around him again and caught him.

"Inuyasha!" She breathed as she just barely managed to stop him from collapsing on his knees. What had happened to him while she was gone? What had he done- or, what hadn't he done for this to happen…?

"Are you alright…? What happened to you while I was gone?" She whispered in his white fluffy dog ear atop his head, which was currently resting on the junction of her shoulder and neck comfortably. He laughed under his breath against her skin, warming the spot noticeably.

"Don't mind it, I'm just a little tired, that's all." He carefully stood back up, returning her embrace again for a moment before –slowly- pulling away to look into her eyes.

"Come on; let's head back to the village." He suggested in a half tired, half relieved voice, slipping his hand over hers. She smiled and gave a nod of agreement before following him to Kaede's hut. But as they walked, Kagome couldn't help but notice that the more Inuyasha walked beside her, the more his legs shook and the more he tried his best not to stumble down the path. She was worried, but said nothing as they approached Kaede's hut, knowing it would only embarrass him. As they stopped before Kaede's door, Kagome was about to enter the hut, when Inuyasha's hand on her arm stilled her movements. She looked up into his eyes questioningly, but waited for him to explain it himself.

"Stay by me…?" He whispered, making it sound more like a question than a request. Her eyes softened as she smiled gently at him. She slipped her hand within the hold of his own, nodding her answer. He grinned, turning and leading her to a tree that was near Kaede's hut, sinking down against the trunk of it before motioning for Kagome to follow suit. She did, at his side at first, but gasped in surprise as he placed her in his lap and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her tenderly to his chest as he leaned his back against the tree. She tensed a moment in surprise, but relaxed and snuggled into him a little more. She couldn't help but notice the tremor in his body as he held onto her, as if it was straining his muscles from holding her so tightly, so close. She began to rub her hand softly against his side, but froze in her ministrations as she felt something almost like tiny curves where his skin sunk in every inch. 'Wait…he was stumbling earlier, his body's trembling, and now…' She gasped against his chest as she put the pieces together. She hoped to every higher power that he hadn't done what she thought he did.

"Inuyasha…?" She whispered, but there came no response, only a soft, almost silent purr escaping Inuyasha's chest, indicating that he was sound asleep.

"So, he's finally gotten some rest." Kagome turned her head to the right at the sound of Miroku's voice, seeing the houshi squatting about two feet away from them, Sango, Shippo, and Kirara all gathered beside Miroku. Kagome's eyes widened.

"He hasn't been sleeping…?" She gasped incredulously.

"Or eating, he hasn't eaten or slept since you left. It's good to see him finally resting. It wouldn't have been bothering us so much if he hadn't ran nearly ten miles from the well the day you left, then came stumbling back…we tried to get it out of him right there, but he wouldn't talk to anyone for days. He finally told Miroku about a week ago, that's when we found out. But at least he's sleeping again." Sango added quietly, so as not to wake the slumbering hanyou before the four walked bade Kagome a goodnight and went back into the hut. Kagome gasped in shock. So, it was just like she thought- that he hadn't been eating well enough- but she didn't know that he had been starving himself, and depriving himself of sleep! 'He's thin enough as it is, but to not have eaten or slept for two weeks…' The miko felt her heart break from the guilt she was feeling. She felt tears come to her eyes as she returned her hand to his side. His ribs were sticking out to the point where she could fit her fingers in the gaps where his skin dipped in between each rib. Her thoughts were broken as she heard him sniff quietly before hearing his quiet voice issue forth, worry and concern evident in his tone.

"Kagome, why the tears, what's wrong?" He whispered softly in her ear, nuzzling her hair a bit lazily. She looked up and forced him to look at her by gently tugging on his side lock of chest length silver hair. He did as she requested, gazing at her quizzically. She sniffed softly before leaning her head up and gently kissing his cheek.

"Why did you starve yourself and refuse to sleep while I was gone? Did I…" He placed a finger to her lips, smiling a little despite how serious this was. Even though he was a hanyou, even a full fledged demon wouldn't have lasted much longer without food and rest before it would have collapsed or worse, its body would have just shut down. In all honesty, when Kagome had said all that she had, he lost the will to live. He didn't even want to try anymore.

"It was my choice to die than to have you hate me. I never told anyone this, but I don't think I really needed to." He chuckled tiredly, nuzzling his nose into the crown of her head, inhaling the sweet scent of her raven locks of hair. Her head drifted back down to his chest a moment before she whispered,

"Just…don't do that again, okay?" He nodded tiredly against her head. She smiled against his chest, almost positive he could feel it through his haori. Just before she fell asleep, she faintly heard Inuyasha mumble something in her ear. She lifted her head to look at him curiously as he leaned his forehead against hers, gazing at her with half lid eyes.

"What was that, Inuyasha? I didn't hear you." He rubbed his hand slowly up and down the small of her back, feeling the smooth silk of the nightgown against his fingertips.

"Have a good night, Kagome." Kagome smiled warmly at him, closing her eyes gently.

"Sweet dreams, Inuyasha." With that, her head drifted down back to his chest, as his head rested on top of hers. He tightened his grip on her before he fell asleep contently; Kagome snuggled up in his arms.

--…next morning…--

Yawning sleepily, Kagome opened her eyes a moment, smiling at the thought that the first thing she could see was Inuyasha's blood red fire rat haori and she cuddled a bit more against his chest. Carefully looking up without moving her head all that much, for fear that Inuyasha would wake, she smiled in relief that he didn't look so gaunt and pale. His skin had gotten some of its color back, and the dark circles under his eyes were nonexistent, and (she blushed at this one) she also noted how much tighter his arms had now encircled her than they had last night, almost like he had always done when he had hugged her before. So tight, that when she attempted to sit upright, he pulled her possessively back down to him, cuddling her like a toddler would a teddy bear. She giggled softly at how sweet he was being, not fighting against his hold. Her arms rested on the sides of his stomach comfortably as she melted against his frame.

"Sleep well, I take it?"

"Oh-! Inuyasha, good morning!" She piped cheerfully as she looked up at him, giving him one of the most gorgeous smiles she had ever given him. He couldn't help but smile in return; a smile that bright was just a tad too contagious for anyone to resist returning, especially coming from Kagome. Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something, he felt his stomach tie itself in a painful knot that he couldn't help but wince from. Kagome's smile faded, being replaced by a look of concern that Inuyasha was glad had returned to her eyes in a way; it confirmed that she cared for him enough to worry.

"Are you alright, Inuyasha?" She asked, lifting her head from his chest. He nodded almost absentmindedly as the pain eased.

"Yeah, but do you have any food in your pack? I'm kinda hungry." 'Kinda hungry, yeah…right, I'm freakin' STARVING!' He thought silently to himself, though decided not to voice such an outburst. She giggled and nodded, almost regretfully pulling herself out of his embrace and making her way back to the hut to dig around in her bag for something for them to both eat, more for Inuyasha's sake than hers (after all, he hadn't eaten in two weeks), Inuyasha behind her. In all honesty, he regretted saying anything about being hungry, because it broke their embrace. Sure, it made him sound like a hopeless romantic, but hey, Kagome was his only love, and being so close to her was an experience to behold for him. He watched her through Kaede's window as she rummaged around a moment in her oversized backpack before pulling out three cups of chicken flavored ramen noodles for them to eat. He leaned casually against the wall as he waited for Kagome to exit the hut with the uncooked noodles he came to like so much. Only a moment later, Kagome emerged from past the bamboo curtain that served as a makeshift door with her usual cheery smile, though Inuyasha couldn't help but notice just how much more…genuine it seemed than before.

After eating two of the three cups of ramen Kagome had brought (Kagome ate one herself), Inuyasha leaned back on his hands with a content smile on his face. Kagome couldn't help but sigh in relief that all the color had returned to his skin…and his eyes. Before, when he had not noticed her return, she couldn't help but see the lack of liveliness his eyes held, as if someone was watching a sunset through a thick screen; it was still nice to look at, but the blackness of the screen washed out almost all the beauty and color of the sight before the person observing it. Now that screen of darkness was lifted from the amber in Inuyasha's eyes, and Kagome was now allowed to see the true beauty of his irises. She smiled at that.

"Thanks Kagome," Kagome nearly did a double take; Inuyasha was…thanking her? Even if he did mumble it, it was still a thank you! Whoa, maybe he was still a little lightheaded from lack of sleep, or something. That had to explain his being out of character. She must have looked ridiculous, because Inuyasha couldn't help but chuckle at the look on her face, but said nothing more. Rather, he suddenly stood up, offering Kagome his hand. Now she was really confused.

"Come with me," How could she say no to his adorable puppy dog face? She nodded and took his hand, still a little puzzled at the sudden change in Inuyasha. She blinked in surprise, but grasped his hand gently nonetheless as she lifted herself up. He began walking toward Goshinboku, tugging her hand softly, just enough to get her attention. She followed at his side without question, slightly tightening her grip on his hand trustingly. He kept his gaze focused on the path ahead of him as he tried so desperately to collect the thoughts that flooded his mind like smoke and put them into an actual intelligent sort of logical reasoning. This was it. This was where his friendship with Kagome would either be shattered or developed into an everlasting love. At this sacred tree, where it all began, may begin a new chapter of happiness for the both of them, or inner death for the hanyou. He knew he couldn't keep his emotions bottled up much longer. He could sense the barrier he had so carefully placed around his heart beginning to crumble; -his earlier displays of affection were proof enough of that- and he wasn't so sure he'd be able to keep this up for much longer before the dam finally broke and he started to get desperate. He came close to it many times in the past two weeks. That, and he knew Kagome wasn't going to take much more of it either –her taking leave for such a long time and being angered my him with such an intensity were testimony enough- and was likely to just leave when she finally decided enough was enough.

And as the said tree came into view, his grip on her hand tightened even more, mainly out of nervousness; he was doing what his heart told him to do, for once, he wasn't shutting out its call, but rather embracing it and listening to its advice. Even if she tells him that she could never return the feelings, at least he could now rest a little easier knowing that he took the opportunity and used it to its full potential, not just letting it slip by for the umpteenth time and wallowing in even more regret until the next one arose, if there was even a next one to show up. Even if she only liked him as a friend, at least his feelings would be out, and there would be no regrets about it. So, taking one last breath, he stilled before the tree's massive roots, dazing off as he stared at the tree for a moment, vaguely realizing that Kagome was following suit, their hands still intertwined.

"This is where it all started for you and me." Inuyasha's thoughtful voice cut through the comfortable silence between the two, causing Kagome to peel her gaze away from the sacred tree to look at the hanyou.

"Yeah…it is," She mumbled in the same tone of voice, wondering where this conversation was going.

"This is where I hope something else starts as well…something I've been hoping for longer than I let on…" His sentence hung in the air as he looked down at his feet, one of which was scuffling the loose dirt in a tiny circle of dust.

"What is it, Inuyasha?" He took a deep breath and held it as he faced Kagome fully, reaching out his free hand to grasp her empty hand, gently bringing her a baby step closer, not enough for their bodies to touch, but enough to the point he had received her complete attention.

"I…I love you. When I left your era, I realized something as I stumbled away from the well; I realized that I was missing something, that I was incomplete. Then it hit me- I was missing you. I wanted you to be here. I wanted you to be here with me…to…to me my mate. That's what I hoped started at this spot; a life with you by my side always. I'm not saying that you need to forget you era, just…I just want to be with you, if that's okay. If not, I just want to still be friends with you; I value what we have more than I ever let on, and I'm sorry that I hid this from you for so long." His amber eyes now his behind his ivory bangs as he waited with baited breath for her to respond. There came no actual vocal reply, and just when Inuyasha was about to give up hope for their love to grow, he felt fragile arms slip around his waist and shoulders, hugging him gently.

"I love you, too, you big puppy."

"Hey, am not!"

"Oh, you are so, and I can prove it!"

"Oh really, I'd just love to see-"

Damn, she just had to start petting his ears, didn't she?

He was busted, and yes, he was a puppy.

He pulled her into his embrace as he began to purr deep in his chest, shutting his eyes as he welcomed the lovely feeling of Kagome's fingers massaging the inside and outside of his left ear. It felt so incredibly…good! He couldn't help but nuzzle his head under her hand more so that she would have better access to it, a fanged smile spreading across his face.

"Oh, and you're not a puppy, right?"

"Nope, I'm not a-"

Aww shit, she found the sensitive spot.

"…Okay…I'm a puppy." He mumbled dazedly before he caught Kagome's unsuspecting lips with his own.

Everyone knew I was going to make a crack at the puppy dog ears, didn't you? There's a little button below, see it? Click it and tell me how you think this turned out, and whether or not you would like a sequel in the near future.