Hello once again, a tiny bit earlier than scheduled. This chapter is specifically dedicated to my emailing friends (you know who you are!) for their inspiration with some of this chapter, even if they didn't quite realise it at the time. Those of you that this refers to, I am sure you will recognise some of our own conversations in the below update!

Thank you to everyone for reviewing as always. It so makes me smile to see reviews, because they brighten up my day!

Here is chapter 8

For better, for worse

Chapter 8

Friday 2nd March 2012

Zoe entered the staffroom with a significant degree of reluctance, as despite it being at least twenty minutes since the shift actually finished she was well aware that the majority of her colleagues had yet to depart and appeared intent on waiting around to see what she would be doing next and whether there was likely to be any further debacle between her and the woman they had dubbed "the secret wife of Dr Keogh" in a manner that made it sound vaguely like a bad horror movie title. Their initial concern over Dylan's welfare had subsided considerably on hearing that he had pulled through surgery without complication and the worried looks that had beforehand crossed their faces had long since been replaced with intrigued glances and wry smiles whenever they appeared to think she wasn't looking.

She had to concede that judging them for their attitude would be somewhat harsh given both the anxiety of the previous day and the shock that had been sprung on them all in hearing that Dr Keogh had been hiding this woman from them for the best part of a year. In fact Sam's presence had only highlighted for them all quite how little they knew their grumpy colleague and Zoe identified that it was the knowledge that she herself had also been kept in the dark that was causing most of the unstoppable gossip. She had never been one to shy away from being the centre of attention and she fully accepted that she had not always been the most honest of individuals when it came to her own previous dalliances. However the fact that Dylan had not only been caught out lying to her, but that he had also managed to make her look a fool in front of everyone they worked with, made this situation so much worse that it had ever needed to be. Not for the first time Dr Hanna cursed herself for falling for a man who showed so little emotional maturity that he refused to open up about anything in his past, even to go as far as to deny he would ever consider marriage when in fact he already had a wife.

"How are you coping?" Tess whispered in her direction, appearing close beside her so that they could talk a little more discretely.

"I'm alright," Zoe responded, before seeing a disbelieving look cross the nurse's face. "Honestly Tess, I'm fine. It's just been a long couple of days."

"And Dr Keogh?" Tess asked, staring at her intently in an attempt to establish how the woman really was feeling about that particular subject at that moment.

"No change," Zoe answered. "But apparently they're hopeful he will regain consciousness soon," she added, before continuing, "And she has asked if I'd like to sit with him this evening, you know so I can be there when he wakes up."

"How do you feel about that?" came the question in reply and Zoe considered what she was being asked momentarily. In truth she wanted to see Dylan more than anything else, if only to satisfy herself that he was alright and would make a full recovery. Nevertheless she couldn't help but think that her first thought on seeing him open his eyes might be to throttle him for what he had just put her through and she wasn't exactly sure that this would help resolve the situation in the slightest.

"It's not like we don't need to talk," she started, knowing that of all the people she could be speaking to about this it was likely that Tess would be the most sympathetic. Nick was obviously trying hard to be supportive, but she could understand the difficult situation he was in given their own shared history and how much she had seen he wanted to offer support to Dylan's wife, in a way that appeared to go beyond the standard degree of interest she would have expected the Clinical Lead to show in a member of his team's family. "I don't know Tess," Zoe continued, "the whole situation is just such a mess and the fact that it all happened so publicly too, it just makes it worse."

"We've all got secrets eh, even Dr Keogh," said a very distinctive Scottish accent from across the room in response to a comment neither woman had heard from Big Mac, but Dr Lyons found himself on the receiving end of a stern glare from Tess because of his words. "What?" Lenny argued back. "You don't think it's a little odd that he completely failed to mention he was married. For an entire year?"

"What I think Dr Lyons," Tess responded sharply, "is that whatever the situation, it is none of your business and quite frankly a degree of tact and diplomacy would be your best option given the circumstances."

However before anyone could comment further on that statement or Zoe could make a quick exit from the staffroom prior to any further remark causing her grief, the door was frantically swung open and in walked Linda clutching a couple of sheets of paper and looking exceptionally pleased with herself, causing Zoe's heart to sink at the thought of whatever piece of gossip or trauma was likely to fall from the nurse's lips in the coming moments.

"You will never believe what I've got here," Linda spoke almost hysterically as if close to spontaneously combusting. "This," she said, thrusting the first piece of paper in front of herself. "This is Dylan and Sam's wedding photo, back in the days when they were the happy couple. It looks like a full white wedding to me, you know, church, white dress, pretty flowers and the works."

Zoe raised her eyes skyward in a desperate plea for someone to call a halt to this apparently endless torment or at least allow the ground to open up and swallow her whole, and she found herself pondering why Linda just hadn't stood on a chair in reception and announced her findings to the entire department from a loudhailer if she really was this excited. Even those colleagues that had not been particularly interested in the chit-chat over the state of the Keogh marriage appeared to be craning their necks to get a glimpse of the photo.

"Let me have a look at that," were the words that were spoken aloud and it was only as the photo was passed in her direction that Zoe realised it had been her that had stated them in the first place. She could feel the gaze of the room upon her as she took in the contents of the formal shot, with a very young, beautiful looking Samantha dressed up in an elegant white gown and Dylan looking the proud husband in his smart suit. They appeared in her eyes to look every inch the happy, united couple and strangely she felt disappointed at that, as whilst not wishing either of them a past filled with unhappiness it had been easier for her to comprehend that perhaps her partner had been trapped in a completely loveless marriage and that had been his reason for failing to mention his wife's existence to her in the first place. Whatever the current state of affairs between them may be now, Zoe could see from their smiles in the photograph that they hadn't always been this far apart.

"And that isn't even the best bit," Linda continued and Zoe felt the horror fill her thoughts in anticipation of whatever revelations may yet be to occur. However despite not wanting to be party to whatever games were being played she couldn't bring herself to leave, regardless of her knowledge that listening to this exposure so publicly may be damaging to her own sense of sanity with everything else that was going on.

"It sounds like there was a bit of a scandal when they got together," Linda began, her voice low and conspiratorial to increase the tension in the room. "It turns out that she was a 22 year old medical student, the most promising in her class apparently, and he was her 34 year old mentor. She was the first student he'd ever been allocated and from what I heard the hospital gave him Sam because they knew she was feisty enough to stand up for herself, given what he is like and all," Linda almost ranted before pausing. "When the hospital found out about them sleeping together apparently they threatened to sack him and fail her from her placement, so to spite them they announced they were engaged and then got married in a matter of weeks."

Linda failed to hide her delight at the gasps that went around the room at that particular piece of information. "Anyway," she went on, "they lasted at the hospital for a couple of months after that and then as soon as her rotation was finished, they both just left. Dr Keogh went off to be a GP for a while and she signed up to the army. No one at their previous hospital has a clue as to why they both just upped sticks, but they've never seen either of them again."

"Did you work for MI5 in a former life or something?" Zoe asked incredulously, but almost feeling a vague sense of astonishment at just how much information the nurse had managed to track down in the space of 24 hours since Sam's announcement of her connection with Dylan. For a very private individual it had just become apparent that Dr Keogh had not been particularly clever in keeping his tracks well covered.

"I can't imagine they had all of that plastered up on Facebook," Tom chipped in. "Actually I can't imagine that he even has Facebook," he added, as if pondering the concept of Dr Keogh logging on and issuing friend requests to his colleagues in the E.D.

"He doesn't, neither does Sam," Linda confirmed. "As far as I can see they don't have profiles on any social network sites, which doesn't really surprise me," she continued. "It wasn't that hard to find out, I mean I had both of their full names so I just called in a few favours with nurses I've worked with through when I was on agency nursing and eventually someone remembered them," she explained. "Once I had a hospital I just went online and contacted a few of their old colleagues and some of the people she was likely to have graduated with. I did most of it last night, but I was waiting for some replies. I've been bursting to tell you all day, but I wanted to get my facts straight first," she stated proudly.

"She was up half the night googling people," Lenny confirmed, before reddening at the realisation he had just placed himself with her overnight in people's thoughts.

"Well at least that explains why you were both so tired this morning," Nick's voice unexpectedly appeared from the doorway causing them all to jump and both Lenny and Linda to look sheepish at being caught out. "It doesn't explain why you would both be tired every other day recently, but I will pretend not to have noticed you sloping out of Nurse Andrew's car when you're both late each morning Dr Lyons."

The pointedness of the comment hung in the air as everyone else present suddenly appeared awkward at witnessing their Clinical Lead chastise two colleagues. However that feeling was lifted as quickly as it descended when the woman behind Nick Jordan entered the room and he pointed her in the direction of her husband's locker, passing her a key as he did so.

"It's quite fortuitous you are all still here actually," Nick spoke again. "Sam and I have just been having a chat. She has just come down to inform us that Dylan has woken up and is doing well upstairs." A brief mummer of happiness and cheer spread through the room on hearing that particular piece of news and Zoe met Sam's genuine smile with one of her own, before watching the woman open his locker.

"You must be relieved," she stated quietly in Sam's direction. "It's a huge weight off my mind, I know that much."

Sam nodded before replying, "He'd like to see you, he was pleased to hear you would be up after your shift." The two of them made eye contact, which Sam appeared keen to hold onto. "I am pleased he has moved on you know," she started, before continuing, "You seem to make him happy and that's all I ever wanted for him. I'm not going to pretend that it is easy for me to watch, but that isn't your fault, it's mine."

Zoe reached out and momentarily touched the younger woman's arm, in much a similar gesture to the one she had received from her earlier on, before responding, "I'm sure he appreciates the fact that you came though, I think he is going to need us both for a little while at least." They stood there for a few seconds, neither having any further words to add, before Zoe finally broke the silence. "I'll go up and see him then. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" and received the briefest of acknowledgements in answer, before fetching her own possessions and departing the staffroom without meeting anyone else's gaze.

"What's this?" Nick asked the remainder of his team still present as he picked up the photograph from where it had been dropped onto the floor at some point since he had first entered the room, before realising the contents and staring at it with a degree of dismay. Sam grabbed the last few items she required from Dylan's locker, including both his car and boat keys, before slamming the locker door shut and turning around to face the room, catching sight of the picture in Mr Jordan's hand as she did so.

"You know, I'm not even going to ask how she got that," she began, glaring in the direction of the gossipy blonde nurse as she did so and biting back the emotions that were swirling around her mind on seeing that reminder of the fateful day they had committed to a marriage that should never have been proposed. "But if I know my husband at all, I know he will hate that you've seen that. Keep your nose out of business that doesn't concern you. I mean, don't we have enough to be worried about right now without you digging around in our past?" she spoke furiously, staring down her husband's colleagues and silently challenging them to reply.

On getting no response, she shoved the few items she had picked up from the locker into the pocket of her hooded sweatshirt and made for the doorway, with Nick following close behind her after frowning at his staff group for their idiotic and insensitive behaviour. As he caught up with her outside the room he saw her eyes wonder to where Dr Hanna was slowly walking up the stairs towards the wards.

Sam could feel the anger she had felt at being confronted with that photograph ebb away as she watched her supposed rival head up to see Dylan, but the feeling was immediately replaced with a gut wrenching sense of sadness that she had just reconnected with her husband, in that he had admitted to at least missing her, and now she was about to lose him all over again. She felt her newly acquired acquaintance, whose support she could not have done without in the last twenty four hours, appear behind her and his hand gently came to rest on her lower back as he guided her from the department and out towards where Big Mac was dog-sitting Dervla. She just needed to collect the dog, locate the car, find the boat and then settle down for a decent night's sleep, but Sam couldn't help but think that this was going to be far from a simple set of tasks given how unfamiliarly alien she was finding everything in Holby to be so far.

Zoe apprehensively continued her walk up the maze of stairs and corridors that comprised Holby City Hospital and eventually found herself outside the private room where she had earlier watched Dylan through the glass. She entered the room with a purpose and strode over to take hold of his hand, not wanting to give him any further time to come up with an excuse for his behaviour towards her thus far.

"Sam said you were awake," she said, examining his face carefully for signs that he was still the Dylan she remembered, but feeling an unnerving sense of anger at him as she did so.

"And now you have seen that I am," he retorted, winding her up further with his curt response.

"You told me you'd never been married," Zoe responded irately, finally allowing the wave of annoyance she had felt building up over the previous day to wash out of her. "When we were in the fire and we had that life or death truth telling moment you lied to me."

"No I didn't," Dylan countered. "I said I wasn't the marrying type and that is very much the truth. I've never been the marrying type, Sam and I just happened but I think we both regretted it the moment we had finished saying I do," he elaborated. "I should have told you she existed I do realise that, but I genuinely never thought I would see her again and it therefore seemed quite irrelevant to bring it up."

"I thought she was your daughter," Zoe chimed in, suddenly remembering that particular conversation with embarrassment.

"How old do you think I am?" he shot back with a wry smile. "A lot of people have made that mistake before you, I wouldn't worry about it," he continued, before looking at her questioningly. "Where does this leave us? I mean, I'm not good at this kind of thing, but you knew that already. I don't want this to affect us. Sam is just staying until I've had my surgery, that's all, just in case someone has to make decisions on my behalf, but then she is going straight back to the army. She wants to be free to do her own thing and she definitely doesn't want to stop me from having a life and moving on."

Zoe could see from how earnestly her partner had spoken that his words were indeed the truth, but despite that she still couldn't quite believe the turn of events and where she now found herself standing.

"I just need some time," she answered, slightly sadly upon even thinking of their circumstances. "I'm not saying we're over, but I need to get my head around everything that has happened and I can't just pretend this is all fine with me when it's not," she added, desperately trying to sound like she had not actually given up on them remaining together as that was the last thing she wanted. "I'm quite happy to stay and sit with you for a while now though, if you'd like the company?" she asked. "I know Sam's gone home for the night."

"No, it's fine," Dylan responded tersely. "You've had a long couple of days too I'm sure, so go home and get some rest. I probably need a good night's sleep myself before surgery." He found himself again wishing that he had not felt the need to send Sam away but then cursed himself for wanting to spend time in her presence in preference to allowing Zoe to stay with him for a while as should actually have been his desire.

"Okay," Zoe replied, before bending forwards and allowing her lips to meet his briefly. "If I don't see you beforehand, good luck for tomorrow and I will come and visit as soon as I can get out of the E.D. I promise."

On hearing the door close behind her Dylan settled himself down for the night, knowing full well that sleep would be hard to come by given his restrained and uncomfortable position and instead found his thoughts drifting to Sam and Dervla, most likely curled up together on board his houseboat and enjoying being in each other's company once again. He couldn't help but think it strange that he was not actually jealous of Sam for being at home with his canine confidante, more than he wanted nothing more than to join them both and he recalled all the times it was the simple companionship he enjoyed with his wife, regardless of their marital status, that had gotten him through many a difficult day.

Thank you for reading as ever and you know how much I love reviews right? I hope you enjoyed it.

The next part should be up in a couple of days - I just need to do a bit of medical research first! Callie x