Caranril: Hm, I just read the manga chapter 323, and I decided that Hidan is the coolest Akatsuki of them all. I really shouldn't like him, but there's something about white-haired, crazy evil anime guys (coughsephirothcoughkimamorocough). I'm hoping to goodness that Kishimoto-sama won't kill off Izumo or Kotetsu, cause that would royally screw my hopes to keep this fic canon. Damn...

disCLAIMER: While I do not own Naruto nor any affiliated subjects therein, Kishimoto-sama does and therefore he owns my soul.

Chapter 12: Rumours and Revenge

"The hell!" Kaori scrambled off the strange couch. Her heart was beating wildly and she made sure all her clothes were on. Her initial thoughts were that Naruto had taken her home. Then she realized this couch was more comfortable than his. It was completely different. As was the room. She shook a bucket off her foot and dashed for a door, stumbling as she felt all thick and heavy. She threw it open, intent on escaping, but the door only opened a few centimeters before colliding with something.

"Agh!" came a voice from behind the door. A body stumbled back and Kaori advanced, prepared to fight. The man looked up, hand over his right eye.

"Great kami-sama, Iruka?" Kaori backed up a few steps. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize...I thought...are you okay?"

"No I'm not!" Iruka moaned, staggering to his bed. "Ohhhhh..."

"I-i-i-i-i-i," Kaori babbled.

"Just get me some ice, please."

"Yokai!" Kaori dashed out of the room and bustled around the kitchen. She snatched a plastic bag to fill with ice cubes and wrapped that in a towel. She was back at Iruka's side in a heartbeat. She thrust the pack at his head, only to have him groan and shoo her away. She caught a glimpse of the angry red swelling just before he placed the pack over it. A guilty blush spread quickly.

"I didn't know where I was and thought maybe...you know...someone had taken me home."

"I did take you home," Iruka sighed. "Don't you remember telling me you left your keys at the Hyuuga's mansion?"

"I remember now," Kaori admitted. "But I was thinking maybe Kotetsu did something..."

Iruka's brown eye focused on her. "He and Izumo may be clowns and fond of sake, but they aren't the type of people to do that sort of thing."

"People do weird stuff when they're drunk."

"Like you attacking Sasuke?"

Kaori cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah. I know there's no way I could beat him. But when I was drunk it seemed completely plausible."

"By the way, don't you feel anything?"

Kaori tilted her head. "What should I feel?"

Iruka shook his head. "I dunno," he said sarcastically, "maybe hung over."

"Oh that," Kaori shrugged. "I've never gotten a hangover."

Iruka stared at her. "Never?"

"Ever. Cap'n said I was one of those blessed few who would never feel a night of drinking when I woke up in the morning." Kaori stretched. "I do feel kinda thick, you know? Like my brain got knocked around a bit."

"Huh." Iruka mused over this, scratching his bare shoulder and yawning. Bare. Kaori realized he was sitting there in just pants. His tan body bore many scars but many contours of strong muscles. His stomach flexed as he yawned even bigger, then an audible gurgle could be heard. Kaori mentally slapped herself and focused her eyes elsewhere. He was her sensei and such admiration could hardly be called appropriate.

"I guess I'm gonna go make breakfast," Iruka said wryly, patting his complaining stomach. "It's Christmas Day, would you like any particular?"

"No, especially after clocking you with a door," Kaori said direly.

"Don't punish yourself. I'll do that when we get back to lessons." Iruka winked his one eye and headed out the door. "Feel free to make yourself at home. Shower's available if you need it."

It wasn't that she needed the shower, but Kaori accepted his offering because she didn't think she could sit and watch Iruka make breakfast in his pant-clad body. He was definitely too hot to be single. What could be the matter with him?

After the shower, smelling much like a man, Kaori snuggled into a fuzzy blue robe she'd found in the cupboard. She didn't really pay attention to what Iruka smelled like, but she imagined the robe's scent was much like his. She heard a knock and proceeded to wrap her hair into a towel before opening the door. Instead of Iruka being there, he was answering the front door.

"Kakashi-san! Hello."

"Iruka-sensei." Kakashi's eye scanned Iruka's face, then flitted past him to see Kaori in her robe and towel emerging from the bathroom. "I've brought Kaori's clothes at the request of Hinata. Seems she left them at the party last night."

Iruka took the clothes. "I don't remember you being there."

"I was running late."

"Of course." Iruka gazed at him suspiciously. "How did you know she was here?"

Kakashi smiled with his eye and held a hand up. "Oh, I just asked around. Someone saw you dragging her home. So tell me Iruka-sensei," Kakashi squinted his eye. "That shiner?"

"Ah, Kaori hit me with the door a little while ago."

"Oh, so it wasn't from wild and rampant sex? Too bad. 'Bye, Iruka-sensei." And he was gone. Iruka's fist was shaking as his other hand slammed the door shut. He sighed and turned only to jump at Kaori's expression right in front of him. He sighed again.

"I have a feeling your appearance didn't help Kakashi already-perverted mind."

"Wild and rampant sex!" Kaori burst out. "Who the hell does he think he is?"

"He's Kakashi. You have to get used to him."

"Argh, I'm tired of everyone saying that! What makes him so special?" Kaori stalked off to the kitchen with Iruka on her heels.

"Kaori, I think that's something you'll have to find out on your own when he becomes your sensei."

"When he becomes my sensei..." Kaori stared at red burner beneath the frying pan. "Why does he...eh." Kaori turned suddenly and threw her arms around Iruka's waist and squeezed her eyes shut. "Why can't you be my sensei forever?" Iruka made an unmanly squeak in response, and Kaori could hear his heart racing against her ear.

"Ooookay, Kaori." Iruka peeled her away timidly. He patted the top of her towel. "I, uh, am sorry I can't be your sensei forever, but even Kakashi won't be your sensei forever. One day you'll be a strong ninja who will train Genin herself one day."

"Do you really think I'm going to be a good ninja?" Kaori asked hopefully.

Iruka nodded with a smile. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. Just...stay away from fire."

Kaori made a face, then headed back to the bathroom, unwrapping her towel. Then she twisted up the towel, pranced back, and whipped Iruka in the back of the leg. He yelped and swiped at her, but she was already hopping away, chortling as she locked the bathroom door. Iruka waved his hand in exasperation, then returned to cooking his breakfast with his stinging leg. Just the same, it made him smile.

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Kakashi was thoroughly engrossed in "Icha Icha Sakusen" as he sat on the rooftops of Konoha. He had read the "Icha Icha" series so many times he no longer bothered to count. Which was just as well because every time he read the books he found something he missed. That Jiraiya was a clever author.

Yet engrossed as he was, he couldn't help but wonder where Naruto was. He had every intention of letting slip a rumour, but Naruto did not seem to have come home after the party. Kakashi knew very well that it was Christmas Day and he had no reason to spend it by himself. But he so wanted to have Konoha's noisiest ninja spread some wicked news about a certain Chuunin and his student.

The pattering of dashing feet caught Kakashi's sharp ears. A door slam followed. It was about time, and Kakashi hoped he wouldn't have to be too obvious to catch Naruto's attention. Of course, he was practically sitting in Naruto's window, so how much more obvious could he be?

"What the!" Naruto clutched a chair, startled at seeing Kakashi in his window. "Kakashi-sensei? What are you doing there?"

Kakashi looked up from his book. "Hm? Naruto? Oh sorry. But the sun was hitting the window sill so nicely."

"It's freezing out, Kakashi-sensei. The sun's not gonna be warm." Naruto crossed his arms. Then panicked. "Ah, I have to get ready! Hinata's coming by in a half an hour and we're going to a movie. I gotta get cleaned up!" As he dashed for the bathroom, he called back, "And come in or go out and shut the window 'cause it's freeeeezing in here!"

Kakashi sighed inwardly and entered the apartment. He snapped the window closed and cleared a spot to sit at the table. He placed his book on the table and rested his feet nearby. He prepared what he hoped was an expression indicated much musings and waited. If he failed telling Naruto, he could always chat up Izumo and Kotetsu, though after their night of drinking he wasn't sure they'd be up to spreading rumours.

Naruto hopped out of the bathroom, his hair wet from a quick shower, yanking pants on over his green boxers and searching for a clean shirt. Kakashi watched in amusement, realizing Naruto wasn't aware he was inside now. The younger Jounin stiffened, the looked up and jumped at the sight of his sensei.

"Gagh! Kakashi-sensei!" he whined.

"Hm." Kakashi put on his thoughtful expression.

"What are you...Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hm?"

Naruto sighed. "What do you want? You have a funny look on your face."

Funny look. "Oh, sorry Naruto. I just have a strange image that I can't seem to get out of my head."

Naruto's face froze, an odd expression crossing his features. "Ah, Kakashi-sensei, it's not me getting dressed is it?" He started to reach for a discarded towel.

Kakashi blinked. "Eh, no. Sorry, Naruto, you're not my type."

Naruto didn't know if that put him at ease or not. "Whatever."

"It's just-" Kakashi said almost too hurriedly. "Well, I was just at Iruka-sensei's place, and I saw him..."

"Iruka-sensei? Saw him what?" Naruto's interest was tweaked.

"He was half-dressed with a woman," Kakashi said with feigned reluctance.

There was a beat of silence. Then Naruto's eyes bugged open. "Whaaaaaat? Iruka-sensei got laid on Christmas Eve?"

Kakashi closed his eye. Well, that wasn't the reaction he'd been hoping for, but it would do. After all, that's not what he told Naruto.

"Ah, I can't believe it! Iruka-sensei?" Naruto puzzled over this information. Then he was right next to Kakashi, poking him. "Did you know the girl?"

"I know of her."

"Well?"

"Hm?"

"Kakashi-sensei! Who was it!"

"Oh." Kakashi got up and opened the window. "It was your friend, Akumako Kaori." And with that he leapt out the window and out of sight. But he wasn't too far gone to hear Naruto's yell of disbelief. He chuckled to himself. He reached into his pack, feeling as though he could finally relax, when he realized he left it on Naruto's table. Damn it. His books weren't safe in Naruto's hand; they wouldn't be treated respectfully. He'd have to wait until later to fetch it, for there was no way he could go back after telling Naruto what he had. In fact, he gave it two hours before it came back to him through Genma.

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"I don't understand, Naruto. I thought we were going to the movies." Hinata tried to wrench her wrist from Naruto's grasp, but he continued dragging her down the street with a powerful will.

"I have to tell someone about this. It's very important. Maybe Kiba? Definitely Sakura. Do you think Sasuke would care?"

"When are you going to tell me this big news?"

"You'll hear it when I tell Sakura. It's reaaaally big stuff, Hinata."

Naruto pounded on Sakura's door. He did a little dance of impatience, then pounded again. He heard an exasperated sound through the door before it opened. Sakura looked peeved, then calmed down somewhat when she saw who it was.

"Naruto. Hinata. Konnichiwa."

"Sakura-chan! Iruka-sensei and Kaori are together!"

"Eh, what?"

"Together! Like, you know." Naruto held up a pinky. Realization dawned on Sakura's face.

"No. Really?"

Hinata looked just as shocked. "I can't believe that. Kaori-san wouldn't do something like that..."

"Kaori-san and Iruka-sensei?"

Naruto and Hinata turned to see Lee behind them. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hands, which he hid behind his back with a blush.

"Yes!" Naruto nodded vehemently.

"I...have to go deliver these flowers," Lee said, then dashed away.

"Sorry, Naruto. I can't go to the movies with you," Hinata apologized. "I just remembered I have...some family coming today to visit. Sorry." She ran down the street and disappeared.

Naruto turned to Sakura, who was shutting the door.

"I hear the phone ringing. Bye Naruto."

He was left standing on Sakura's doorstep, wondering what had just happened. Then he remembered his important news. Sasuke. He'd go find him. He was always at home during holidays.

The elevators were too slow for Naruto's taste as he took the stairs several at a time. There was nothing more energizing than carrying a secret begging to be told. He knocked on Sasuke's door, then paused mid-knock. Kaori's pissed expression came to his mind. Somehow, he doubted very much she'd like him telling people that she was with Iruka. Had he made a terrible mistake?

The door opened. Sasuke seemed mildly surprised to see Naruto, but invited him anyway. He poured some fresh-brewed tea and gestured for him to sit at the bar.

"What brings you here on such a day?" Sasuke said emotionlessly, sipping his tea.

"The weirdest news ever! Kaori and Iruka-sensei are together now!"

Sasuke choked on the liquid. "Huh?"

"They're together." Naruto shrugged as he drank his tea, the initial excitement fading somewhat.

"Iruka-sensei? Twitching Eye Iruka who taught us at the Ninja Academy? He's dating that bitch?"

It was Naruto's turn to snort in his tea. "Bitch? Kaori's not a bitch. Yeah, she's a bit wacky but-"

"So you haven't been introduced to the bitch within yet," Sasuke said with a smirk.

Naruto felt himself getting mad. "Now listen here, Sasuke..."

"Not only did she try to pick a fight, but she has a big mouth and a mean kick. She said she was sorry, asked what she could do to make it better, and then turned around and mouthed off again. Someone needs to beat her ass and put her in place. Who does she think she is?" Sasuke slammed his cup on the bar.

"What the hell happened?" Naruto was quite interested in the angry reaction he was getting from Sasuke.

"Nothing." Sasuke went to the door and opened it. "See you later, Naruto."

Naruto growled. He stalked out the door, muttering, "Someone needs to beat your ass."

The door slammed loudly, making Naruto's ears ring. Oh, that was just one more reason to goad Sasuke into a long-deserved battle.