Tucker, Church, and Kaede were outside discussing Shelia apparently acting weird when They heard a familiar voice call out to them.
"Hey Blues!" Grif calls. The group turns to see Grif approaching with the yellow soldier in tow.
"Aw crap, here we go." Church sighs. "They must have figured out how fucked up our team is now. Oh shit, they even brought their new guy t-"
"Girl." Tucker corrects.
"Whatever! Just play along. Act like our team is okay, and we have everything under control." Church says.
"Please, I've been putting on that act for like three years now." Tucker says.
"The reds have also been putting up that act for just as long." Kaede informs. "Actually, I would say they haven't even tried to hide it."
"Quite, here he comes." Church scolds. "What do you want, Red?"
"I got a prisoner for you." Grif yells.
"What'd he say?" Church asks.
"He says he has a prisoner for us." Tucker answers.
"You sure you didn't miss hear that?" Kaede questions.
"Pretty sure." Tucker answers.
"Oh what, they're giving us prisoners now? Dude, that sounds like bullshit, I smell a trap." Church says.
"Reds aren't that smart." Tucker comments.
"Okay, normally I would agree with that, but this is the orange one, he's pretty crafty. He's a lot like me." Church explains.
"Like you? Shit. Then do I have time to put in my ear plugs and hide all the food?" Tucker asks.
"Like Grif? That would explain your pot belly." Kaede adds.
"Stop. I thought we left that conversation behind." Church demands.
"Sorry. Couldn't resist." Kaede offers before turning toward Tucker. "Why ear plugs though?"
"Cause I don't wanna listen to him." Tucker offers.
"Besides me, Grif is the only other person in this canyon you like talking to." Kaede explains.
"Yeah..." Tucker says.
"Never mind." Kaede says.
"Why would they wanna give us one o' there guys?" Church questions.
"You'll get a better answer if you ask them." Kaede advises.
"Oh, right. Why're you giving us one o' your guys as a prisoner!" Church yells to Grif.
"She's one o- your guys! She came to our side by mistake!" Grif yells.
"I don't buy this. Whadda you want for her?" Church asks.
"Uhm, nothing. It was an honest mistake, uh you can have her back now, no harm no foul. Well, look can we hurry this up!" Grif asks.
"He's definitely up to something." Kaede comments. "Grif not asking for anything are sending off major red flags. That, or he's sick."
"Yeah, its probably the first one. Like we've already established." Church deadpans.
"I just thought you'd want some input from someone who knows Grif." Kaede says.
"We should ask for something else." Tucker says.
"Thats not going to go well." Kaede explains.
"Uh, we want something else!" Church exclaims.
"What? I'm releasing a hostage! You don't negotiate up from their!" Grif explains.
"Got any money!" Tucker yells.
"Fuck you, dude!" Grif yells.
"This is prime negotiating you're both doing here." Kaede deadpans. "Just send her over, Grif!" With that, the yellow soldier walks over to the blue side.
"Kaede, why not let me handle negotiations from now on." Church sternly says.
"That! Was negotiating? Could have fooled me." Kaede says.
"Didn't you say Grif was up to something?" Tucker questions.
"Whatever it is, its probably not going to harm us. When ever Grif up to something, its usually to get more food or to find a hiding place to sleep." Kaede explains.
"What else was on the ship!" Church asks.
"What do you mean!?" Grif asks.
"Yeah like guns, or weapons..." Church rattles on.
"Or snacks!" Tucker adds. "Dude I'm just asking 'cause I know you wanted to."
"Stop. That joke is old now." Church grumbles.
"Nope, Just the girl." Grif answers. "Sorry, there wasn't anymore aliens for you guys to fuck!"
"How does he know about that?" Kaede mumbles to herself.
"Thats okay, we can still fuck this one!" Tucker calls back.
"Wooohoooo!" The yellow soldier exclaims.
"God dammit, never mind, just send her back!" Grif says.
"No take backs!" Church yells.
"Ahw, what the fuck!?" Grif exclaims.
"You should have learned that after the first time!" Kaede calls out to him.
Flashback
Kaede watched as the ship left the canyon. Left behind by it was a large box now waiting outside the base. Before she could wonder what it was, Grif came rushing out of the base. It was the fastest Kaede had ever seen him run.
"Yes! Its finally here!" Grif exclaims.
"What is that?" Kaede asks him.
"Its a couch for the base! No longer will I have to lie on the concrete floor when watching TV." Grif explains. "Plus, it'll make an excellent place to take a nap." With that, Grif opens up the box to reveal his brand new couch.
"Do you need help bringing that in?" Kaede asks. Grif only stares at her in response. "What?"
"Don't take this the wrong way Kaede, but you're a girl." Grif says. "And girls are no help when it comes to this kind of thing."
"Oh, really?" Kaede questions.
"It is a fact of life." Grif says. With that, he attempts to lift the couch only to miserably grunt as he fails to move it in anyway. "Never mind, those invisible arms could come in handy now."
"Nope. My offer to help has expired. I like watching you struggle." Kaede smiles.
After another 20 minutes of Grif being pathetic, and Sarge joining in on watching, Kaede eventually helps him get it into the base.
Present
"Kaede, I have a job for you." Church says to the girl.
"Sure, what is it?" Kaede asks.
"Could you give our new recruit here the blue team orientation and tour?" Church asks.
"Sure thing, Church." Kaede says. With that, Church turns to the yellow soldier standing behind him.
"Kaikaina, this is Kaede. Kaede, Kaikaina." Church introduces.
"Nice to meet you." Kaede greets.
"Yeah. You know, you're kinda hot." Kaikaina responds.
"Thank... you?" Kaede responds. That was supposed to be compliment, right?
"I'll leave you two to get better acquainted." Church says before leaving.
"I'll show you inside the base." Kaede says, with that the two head inside. Kaede shows her the improved blue base ranging from the storage/ everything room to the barracks. When she gets to that last one, she notices a problem. "We might have to get a new bunk in. All these ones are taken. plus, theres Tucker's kid too, so two bunks." That looked to be a problem. There was barely any space in the barracks as it was. Getting girl privacy was hard enough as it was, and now she would have less room to work with.
"We could just double up in bunks." Kaikaina suggests. "Me and my pals did that all the time. Don't even ask how we fit 15 people onto one bed one time."
"I guess thats a temporary solution." Kaede thinks aloud.
"Not for us. After that, we had a nine-som. It was awesome!" Kaikaina exclaims.
"I'm sorry. You what?" Kaede asked, thinking she misheard that.
"A nine-som! Nine ladies, fucking each other at one time!" Kaikaina explains. "If I can bring em' all here one day, you can fuck it up with us!"
"Huh!" Kaede exclaims wide eyed. "I- I'm underage!"
"So were about 4 people in that line up." Kaikaina says casually.
"What the fuck!" Kaede exclaims. Kaikaina is straight up crazy, Kaede thought. What kind of person does these things.
"Yeah, so you in!" Kaikaina asks gleefully.
"Wha- n-n-no! I'm not into that kind of thing." Kaede explains.
"You don't swing that way? I understand. Shame. I really liked you." Kaikaina sighs.
"Again, I'm under age." Kaede says.
"Yeah, that too." Kaikaina mumbles. "Anyway, you can still hang with us when we have our raves! We only get fully nude SOME of the time, so perfectly PG otherwise."
Kaede couldn't believe the mindset of this person. And she would probably have to sleep with her until more permanent living arrangements were made. Maybe she would have to move in with the Reds after all.
"I should also warn you of something." Kaede says, mentally preparing herself for the perverted way Kaikaina would twist this."I have an alternate personality that will come out occasionally and act in my stead sometimes. She's the equivalent of a clueless child with limited speech."
"Awesome!" Kaikaina explains. "One of my friends has 17 alternate personality's. What did you mean by that last part?"
"Nyu, thats what we call her, doesn't have a very large vocabulary." Kaede explains.
"What?" Kai asks.
"She can only say a few words." Kaede dumbs down.
"Oh, so like a baby." Kaikaina deduces.
"Thats kinda like what I just said." Kaede deadpans.
"Does that technically make your alternate personality your daughter?" Kaikaina asks.
"What! How would that even work?" Kaede exclaims.
"Well that one friend I mentioned had-" Kaikaina starts.
"I don't want to here it." Kaede sighs. "I'll just take you back to Church, and he can finish the orientation.
"But I'm agnostic!" Kaikaina cries.
"I mean't the guy in charge." Kaede exclaims, half yelling. Not only was Kaikaina perverted, but apparently stupider than Caboose. And at least Caboose was charming in his stupidity.
"Alright." Kaikaina gleefully replies.
"I've got a bad feeling about this." Kaede grumbles to herself.