Finally, the concluding chapter of my McKay & Mrs Miller tag fic. This one turned out even longer than the first chapter! I struggled a little to find the voices in this chapter so I hope I managed to do so.

Please review and let me know your thoughts.

Jeannie Miller was confused. Nothing made sense anymore. The experiment was a failure - worse than a failure; all they'd achieved was to worsen Atlantis' power situation, not improve it – and she and Mer were… dammit, she had no idea what they were. She guessed they were a failure too. She didn't know who Meredith was anymore. He had built a life for himself here, seemed to have friends and people who cared about him.. and yet, in many ways, he was the same old, arrogant, selfish Mer who didn't give a damn about anybody else, not her, not even his friends.

How dare he have the cheek to resent her spending time with Rod when he'd chosen to shut her out of his life for four years? Four years; his choice, not hers. Their argument that afternoon kept replaying over and over in her mind. His resentment of Rod was nothing but dented pride, pure and simple. Seeing her with Rod made him realise just what a rotten brother he had been and instead of feeling remorse, instead of apologising to her or trying to heal the rift that had grown between them, he had gotten overbearing and proprietary and tried – again – to tell her how she should live her life.

He acted like only his opinion mattered and everyone else just wasn't worth listening to. It was Meredith's way or nothing at all; he thought he knew better than everyone, thought he could boss her around and tell her what to do. Just like he'd done that morning when he'd practically dragged her back to her room without any explanation, refusing to answer her questions about what was happening. She'd been stunned by his reaction; not by his selfishness or his arrogance but by his utter lack of concern or even interest. It was obvious even to her, a stranger who barely knew Colonel Sheppard, that something was wrong and yet Meredith, supposedly the man's friend, had not even bothered to go and check on him, to ask if he was okay; no, he'd been more concerned with insisting that it was none of her business and ordering her to return to her room and go back to bed, like some naughty child.

She'd been all set to refuse but Mer had been adamant and she knew from experience that arguing with him when he was like that was an exercise in futility.. and as she gotten back to her room the sleepiness she'd been longing for earlier had suddenly caught up to her, a wave of fatigue washing over her as she sat heavily on the bed. She'd vowed to herself to speak to John in the morning, make sure for herself that Mer's friend was okay, and had tiredly pulled the covers up to her chin. Yet the noises she'd heard coming from John's room had bothered her, weighing on her mind as she'd lain in bed, replaying the moment over and over in her mind as she drifted into sleep. Teyla and Meredith hanging around in the corridor outside John's room, the sudden noise from his room – the sound had been muffled through the closed door but it had sounded very much like some kind of a cry or a yell. A cry of pain, maybe? Of fear? And then there had definitely been a crash, the sound of something breaking. It worried her. Anyone with a conscience would have gone to check on the room's occupant, to make sure they weren't injured or hurt. Yet Meredith had turned his back on the closed door and dragged her away, refusing to let her go and check on John, refusing to even discuss the matter with her. She'd thought back to their faces, Teyla's and Mer's, as they heard the cry and wondered again if they had been expecting something like that, if they already knew what the noise had been. But if something was wrong with John, if they were concerned for their friend, then why didn't they go and see if he was okay?

Teyla had seemed kind and genuine and had been nothing but welcoming to Jeannie since she'd arrived in Atlantis. Yet even she had made no move to investigate the noises from their friend's room, had merely lingered in the corridor, leaving Mer to take Jeannie back to her room. It didn't make sense. She'd fallen asleep resolving to go and check on John in the morning, straight after her breakfast date with Rod.

Of course, as it turned out, she hadn't had to. Rod had arrived to meet her in the mess hall with John in tow and the two of them had been in fine spirits, laughing and joking and talking about golf and Mensa and the differences in their parallel realities. Before long both Teyla and Ronon had arrived too and had joined them at the table and the conversation had veered wildly from subject to subject, all of them laughing and relaxed. There hadn't been a moment where she could speak to John alone, no chance for her to ask him if he was okay. And yet, even if there had been, if the right moment had somehow arisen, Jeannie doubted if she would have found it in herself to ask him. The John that had sat down to breakfast that morning had been vibrant, full of life and easy-going charm, a constant smile curving at his lips. She'd found it hard to relate this relaxed, entertaining, wry personality with the glimpse of something much darker she had seen yesterday. And she couldn't help but remember that moment of sadness, the change in his personality, the way the warmth and life had died from his eyes as she'd inadvertently said the wrong thing, dredged up some bad memory, and she couldn't bring herself to do that again, couldn't bear to see the smile slip from his face and those laughing eyes darken with some unknown, private pain.

She'd been called away from the breakfast table by Radek's urgent page and the rest of the day had passed in a blur as they'd struggled to solve the crisis before time ran out. She'd been entirely focused on the problem, on finding a solution, and had let all other concerns slip to the side, to worry about later. And now it was later; it was late in the evening and Meredith had been called in to explain things to Dr Weir and Jeannie was sat alone in her quarters, her bags already packed and her thoughts dwelling on the quandary of John Sheppard – and his friendship with her brother.

She was due to return to Earth when the Daedalus left the next morning; back to her family, back to her life, saying goodbye once again to the brother she hadn't seen for four years. And who knew when she might see him next? Or if she ever would again. Her throat tightened at that thought and she found herself trying to analyse the emotion. Would she care if she never saw him again? Did he even care for her? Despite everything, despite the way he had shut her out of his life completely, he was still her brother; still family.

She wondered vaguely if he was happy here, her own words from that afternoon playing on her mind; was he happy, was he doing ok? He was living a life she'd never have expected for him, could never have envisioned; living in an alien city in a far away galaxy, working with the most incredibly advanced technology, travelling to distant worlds by using a device that created artificial stable wormholes, exploring new planets, meeting new people; making friends. And, dammit, why did she even care about his happiness when he seemed to have so little regard for hers? She guessed that was just another difference between them; no matter what had happened between them in the past, she couldn't just forget that she had a brother.

She was startled from her brooding by a melodious chime from the door. She crossed the room to wave a hand over the door controls and was surprised to find John Sheppard hovering almost nervously in the corridor, a laptop clutched in his hands.

"Hey," His smile was easy enough but he seemed to be keeping one eye on the corridor as though looking out for someone.

"Oh, hey." Yeah, real eloquent Jeannie. Well done.

He made a show of peeking past her, into the room. "You all packed and ready to go home?" It was small talk, every day conversation, but something about his manner told her he'd come by for something more serious than chitchat.

"Yes, sir. Ready to ship out at 0800 hours." Her quip was rewarded with a quick grin but before she could respond his face settled into a more serious expression and he gestured vaguely with the laptop.

"Got something I thought you should see before you go.."

"Oh. Okay. Uh.. come in." She stepped back uncertainly and, with a last quick glance up the corridor, John moved past her into the room, looking around uncertainly for a moment before settling on a chair in the far corner. She followed slowly, wondering what this was about, and was nonplussed when he held the laptop out to her.

"It's ready to play. Just hit return." There was a hint of a smile on his face as she took the laptop uncertainly from his hands, seating herself on the edge of bed as she set the laptop down and pushed open the screen. She froze as she was confronted with an image of Mer, his face filling the screen, obviously some kind of video image, paused mid-word. She looked questioningly at John but he just gave her a quiet smile and said, "Hit return."

They were both silent as the video played back, the only sound in the room Meredith's voice as he expressed feelings that, even when they were still speaking, he had never once said to her in person. The video left her bewildered, more confused than ever, torn between a flush of warmth that came with the knowledge that Mer, for all his faults, really did care, and frustration that he could only say these things to a faceless video camera… and that, even after recording that message, after putting his heart and soul on tape to send to her.. he had still not gotten in touch. Probably still would not be in touch with her even now if her math proof had not pushed him into it.

She tried to keep her voice steady as she asked, "When did he record this?"

Sheppard was half-slouched in the chair, his posture deliberately casual. "Coupla years back, when we thought the bad guys were gonna get us"

Jeannie looked back at the screen, at the frozen close-up of Mer's face, and wondered what he had done to deserve a friend like John Sheppard.

"Now I've seen three sides of my brother." Her voice came out sounding brittle, stretched thin like her emotions.

"Yeah."

"What are you two up to?" They both looked up at the accusing voice and at once Jeannie realised why John had seemed that little bit nervous when he arrived, why he had been scanning the corridor outside her room. She wordlessly closed the laptop and passed it back to John who held it casually, calmly distracting Meredith with a teasing jibe.

"Nothing. Just uh, telling stories about you. You know, trying to help her fall asleep."

"Ah-ha-hah" Meredith's tone was sarcastic but the banter between the two of them seemed to have appeased his suspicions and John took advantage of the moment to excuse himself.

"I'll leave you guys alone."

And then it was just the two of them. Jeannie and Meredith. Brother and sister. And it was awkward and uncomfortable and she found herself wishing they could get past this but not knowing how to even start. She couldn't just blink and forget the hurt Mer had caused her… and he didn't seem to have any understanding of how she felt or how much she needed him to be the one to want to fix things. So they traded inane conversation, made jokes and exchanged hollow pleasantries and when Mer did try to say something, try to broach the subject they were both so studiously avoiding, he faltered and stumbled over his words and she found herself giving up hope of any kind of real resolution. She guessed maybe some things just couldn't be fixed so easily.

Then Meredith did the last thing she would have expected and she found herself swallowing back tears as she hugged her brother for the first time in more years than she cared to remember. It wasn't a cure-all, it wasn't a magic fix for all their problems, but it was a start. It was honest and genuine and she felt some of the hard, brittle anger that she'd been carrying around with her all these past weeks start to crumble.

She was left feeling oddly at a loss after Meredith left. She felt like she and Mer had taken an important step; maybe they'd never be the archetypal model siblings but they'd made a start at rebuilding some bridges. Yeah, he was still arrogant and annoying and selfish.. but he did care for her and that meant a lot. She made a mental note to find a quiet moment before she left to thank John; Mer was lucky to have a friend who would care enough to intervene the way he did.

Jeannie thought about getting some sleep – it was getting late and she had a spaceship to catch in the morning (and didn't that thought still just freak her out) – but she found herself caught by a persistent feeling of restlessness. She couldn't settle to anything, couldn't concentrate on her book or even pass the time in reviewing the data from the experiment. It was hard to believe that she was heading home again, so soon after arriving in this amazing city, and she felt a sense of disappointment that she didn't have more time to explore the wonders that Atlantis had to offer but it was tempered by a rising excitement at the thought of being reunited with her family. Alone in her room, with nothing to distract her, she felt their absence as an almost physical pain and it was with a pang of guilt that she realised that she had been so wrapped up in events over the past couple of days that she had barely thought of Caleb, of little Madison. She wondered if her daughter missed her mommy, wondered how her ballet recital had gone, if Caleb was lonely without her..

Unable to concentrate, her mind occupied with too many conflicting thoughts and feelings, and not feeling remotely tired, Jeannie was feeling more and more restless until finally she put her datapad aside and stood up with a stretch. She found herself wandering again to the large window overlooking Atlantis, gazing out over the strung out lights of the night-time city. A cool sea breeze ruffled the sheer drapes as she opened the window and she closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. The city was beautiful at night, almost magical, and she had so little time left to experience it. Reaching a decision, she closed the window and left her comfortable guest quarters, heading again for the quiet balcony she had found the night before. Sleep could wait.

The vista of the majestic city spread out below her, a myriad of warm lights shining from towering spires and graceful arches. The cool sea breeze lifted the hair from her shoulders and she could hear the soft, constant susurration of the waves against the shores of the floating city. It was peaceful here, oddly calming. If she lived here she swore she'd spend half her days on a balcony like this, feeling the salt-rich air on her skin, listening to the gentle rush of the sea as it rose and fell in unending rhythm. The city was huge, a masterpiece of technology and construction, and yet for something so immense, so monolithic, it was still graceful, beautiful, the towers and spires reaching up towards the starlit sky. John had told her that they'd barely explored even half of it in the time they'd been there and she couldn't help but wonder what further treasures, what amazing discoveries were yet to be found within the city's walls. Atlantis fascinated her; she felt that she could stand here for hours, leaning her arms on the railing, just looking, just watching the city live and breathe.

When she finally pushed herself upright and stretched tiredly, she was surprised to find that she had done just that. Hours had passed. It was after 1am. She really should get some sleep.

She left the balcony and for a moment she lingered in the corridor, debating whether to return the way she had come or to once again turn left and take a more direct route back to her room. She was forced to admit to herself that she was curious – about what was going on with Mer's team, about just what it was that all of them were so steadfastly refusing to acknowledge or talk about, and about how it all somehow seemed to centre around John Sheppard – and was intrigued to know what she would find tonight if she once again walked past the door to John's quarters. She found her feet turning that way, as if of their own volition, and for a moment she felt a little guilty, almost sordid, as she realised she was almost hoping to find something, to have an answer to her question. She thought about turning back, her steps faltering briefly, but one personality trait she did share with Meredith was stubbornness and she told herself sternly that there was nothing wrong in being concerned for the well-being of Mer's friend. He had more than shown how important Meredith's well-being and happiness was to him and he should be able to expect the same concern and thoughtfulness in return.

She thought for a moment that she once again heard murmured voices as she approached the turn in the corridor but as she rounded the bend she found the hallway empty. She walked slowly, treading carefully and silently, listening for any indication that something was amiss. Nothing. John's door was closed and the only sound was the faint background hum of the city itself. She sighed, oddly torn between relief and disappointment. As she turned from the closed door to head back to her own room a shadow detached itself from the wall and she smothered a shriek as a large figure loomed over her, feeling the air escape her lungs in a gasp of equal parts fright and relief as she belatedly recognised Ronon.

"Oh my goodness! Ronon!" she squeaked. "You, uh.. you startled me!"

The tall warrior gazed down at her silently, his expression unreadable. This was the first time she'd met Ronon on his own, away from the team, and she suddenly found herself feeling rather nervous. The Ronon who skulked silently in the shadows outside John's room seemed a vastly different animal than the Ronon who sat laughing and joking with his team in the mess hall, his face creased into a broad grin. Whether it was his intent or not, his presence was somewhat intimidating and she found herself starting to babble.

"What are.. uh, what are you doing here?"

"Same thing as you." His voice was deep, rough, and he answered shortly, not bothering to explain as her face creased in puzzlement.

"Uh.. you were… out for a walk?"

Ronon just looked at her calmly, silently, and she felt herself flush, feeling absurdly like she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't.

"Jeannie!" She jumped at the sound of Meredith's voice, his accusing whisper sounding disproportionately loud as she whirled to face him. "What are you doing here?"

She set her arms stubbornly and faced him down, determined not to be browbeaten this time. "I could ask you the same thing!" she snapped back.

He looked taken aback at that, his chin lifting and his ears flushing red as he looked at Ronon and stammered out a hasty excuse, "Ah, well.. I, uh… I was.."

"Mer. I know when you're lying."

He flushed even more at that, colour rising in his cheeks as he hotly denied the accusation. "I am not lying! And furthermore, I'll have you know that.."

"McKay," Ronon's deep rumble of a voice cut Meredith off in mid-flow, the word quiet enough but the tone mildly warning, reminding Mer that his voice was beginning to rise in volume, disturbing the hush in the corridor.

She couldn't resist aiming a small smirk Mer's way as he was effectively told off by his team mate. His chin lifted further in indignation and she saw him struggle for composure as he glared at her and hissed, "Go back to bed, Jeannie!"

"No."

Mer bristled at her outright refusal to do as he told her and Jeannie was vaguely aware of Ronon looking on calmly, watching with an air of mild amusement as the two siblings bickered.

"Jeannie.."

"There is something going on here, Mer, and you can't just shove me aside and expect me to ignore it. John is supposed to be your friend and yet.."

She was interrupted by a sound from John's room and this time there was no doubt; it was a scream, a scream such as she'd never heard before, a heart-wrenching, blood-chilling cry of such pain and fear that it froze her in place, the colour draining from her cheeks. The sound cut off abruptly and she snapped out of her shocked daze, tearing her gaze from the closed door to find Meredith and Ronon sharing a silent, significant look. Mer's face was pale, unhappy and Ronon's mouth had tightened into a grim line but neither of them made a move towards the door. She was astounded, not only at Mer's apparent lack of concern but also that of Ronon. That sound – that scream – was the cry of someone in terrible pain. Something was seriously wrong and they were… they were doing nothing! What kind of friends were they? With a look of disgust at her brother she turned resolutely to the door and raised her hand to knock.

A hand grabbed her wrist and she turned in surprise to find Meredith, his face tight with frustration, "Jeannie.."

"Meredith? What is wrong with you?" She struggled to pull away from him but his grip was surprisingly strong and she was struck once again by how little she knew this new Meredith. The brother she knew was not at all a physical person, he valued brain not brawn and would never physically confront someone like this. Bewildered, she looked into the face of a stranger as he pulled her reluctantly away from the door.

"Just leave it, Jeannie!"

"How can you say that Mer! That.. that noise.."

He was clearly unhappy with this confrontation but he made no move to let go of her arm and his voice was as much pleading as demanding as he told her, "You don't understand! Just let it go…"

"No, I don't, Meredith! I don't understand!" She pulled her arm roughly from his grasp and stood breathing heavily, glaring in disbelief at Mer, uncaring that her voice was rising as she gave vent to the frustration inside her. "I don't understand how you can call yourself John's friend! I don't understand why you are hanging around the corridor outside his room as though expecting trouble and yet when you hear your friend in pain you do nothing about it! I don't understand any of this!"

"Jeannie.."

She was furious now, refusing to be interrupted. "It's obvious that there is something wrong with John and yet you're not doing anything about it! You're pretending like this isn't happening! He is… he is concerned about you, has gone out of his way to make sure you're okay and this is how you repay him?"

The anger at her brother that she had been nursing since he'd reappeared in her life and dragged her away from everything that she knew spilled out of her in a heated rush and her voice was tight and hard as she told him, "You're as bad a friend as you are a brother, Meredith!"

She registered the shock and hurt on his face and somewhere inside her felt a moment of regret. She'd felt so positive just a few short hours ago, had thought they were mending some fences… and now it seemed that she'd been mistaken and Meredith really was just as selfish as he seemed on the surface.

If it weren't for the circumstances, the bewildered look on his face would have been almost amusing; the great and all-knowing Meredith McKay for once lost for words.

"What.. what do you mean, he's concerned about me? What are you talking about?" he demanded.

"What am I talking about?" He really had no idea, did he? No comprehension of what a good friend he had in John. "He showed me the video, Meredith!"

"What? What video?"

"The video you made a couple of years ago, when you thought you might not come back home. The video message you recorded for me."

Meredith's face paled at that and he swallowed, his annoyance with her melting as comprehension dawned and he suddenly found it hard to meet her gaze. "He, uh… he showed you that?"

"Yes." She couldn't hide the anger in her voice as she tried to make him see. "He did that for you, Mer. He tried to show me that you cared about me because he thought that it would make you happy if we could somehow be friends again. He didn't want me to leave Atlantis with a bad impression of you…"

Meredith's expression was stunned and she realised that he was truly surprised that John had done that, had gone to those lengths to try and help his friend.

"He did that?"

She shook her head sadly. "You really have no idea, do you?" She turned her back on him, disappointed, the anger suddenly draining from her and leaving her dispirited and cold, and was surprised to find the corridor empty. Sometime during their argument, Ronon had simply – and silently – left.

"Jeannie.."

Ignoring Mer's quiet plea she turned back to the door.

"You don't understand.."

Whatever Mer had been about to say was lost in the sound of the door sliding open and Jeannie was confronted with a haggard, sleep-tousled John Sheppard, his hair in disarray and his eyes hollow.

"Hey." His voice was low and rough, as though hoarse from over-use.

"John!" She couldn't hide her surprise at his sudden appearance, at the darkness that lurked in his eyes. "Are.. are you okay?" she asked, uncertainly.

He dredged up a smile but it was forced, sharp-edged. This was not the John Sheppard who had laughed and smiled so easily in the mess hall, not the John Sheppard who had sat quietly while she watched Meredith's video message; no, this was the John she had met just briefly on the first day she arrived, the one who had been tense and uncomfortable, his eyes shadowed with painful memories.

"I'm good," he lied, glancing idly from her to Meredith. "What are you guys up to?"

"Nothing," Meredith replied hurriedly before she had chance to. "Jeannie was just talking a last walk around the city and is going back to her room." She rolled her eyes at the completely unsubtle way Mer pointedly stressed that last part but John seemed oblivious, nodding distractedly. He ran a hand through his messy hair and stepped into the corridor, letting the door slide shut behind him. She noticed belatedly that he was dressed again in loose sweats and a t-shirt and had his water bottle in his hand.

"You're.. going running? At this hour of the morning?"

The lopsided smile carried a hint of his usual easy charm but it was stretched thin, fragile, and she feared that a sudden movement could shatter it.

"Can't sleep," he admitted too casually. "Need to run off some energy."

It was a blatant lie. He looked exhausted, his hair was still tousled from sleep and it was obvious that he'd only recently dragged himself out of bed. She was aware of Meredith hovering impatiently, trying to subtly herd her away towards her room but she couldn't just walk away, seeing John looking so empty and lost. How could his friends see him like this and not care that something was wrong?

"John.."

"Come on, Jeannie." Meredith interrupted quickly, talking over her as he none too gently nudged her in the direction of her room. "If the Colonel thinks it's a good idea to go for a 5 mile run at 2:00 in the morning then who are we to argue? Must be a military thing.. I swear that masochism must be an entry criteria for the armed forces.."

He was still muttering, complaining about the military mindset, as he pushed her ahead of him and she looked back in surprise to see a genuine smile lighting up John's face as he turned and set off down the corridor in an gentle jog, his easy lope quickly eating up the distance until, within moments, he disappeared from view.

She shrugged off Meredith's attempts to herd her down the corridor and planted her feet stubbornly.

"Meredith!"

He sighed heavily, "Jeannie, please…"

"Mer, something is wrong! He's.."

"I know!" Meredith's angry response stunned her. His eyes met hers and in her brother's face she saw a world of misery, of fear and concern for his friend, and a deep, burning anger that she could not understand.

She struggled to make sense of what she was seeing; Meredith knew that something was wrong. Knew and was terribly worried about it. "Then why..?"

"Because that's what he wants."

"What?"

"It's the way he wants it, Jeannie. He doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't want anyone to treat him differently, he just wants everything to be normal and that's what we're trying to do for him."

Mer's face was painfully earnest. "It's what he needs."

He turned and walked away, his shoulders hunched tiredly, and after a long, thoughtful moment she ran to catch up with him. She realised with a stab of guilt that she had been wrong – very wrong. He did care about John; they all did. Suddenly the forced laughter in the mess hall, the studied refusal to talk about whatever was bothering them, began to make sense… his team weren't uncaring, they were doing this for John, acting like nothing was wrong because he wanted to act like nothing was wrong. Whatever John was going through, whatever had happened to make him awake screaming in the early hours of the morning, he didn't want to talk about it – and his friends were respecting that. She thought back to the previous day when she'd inadvertently raised the subject; she remembered the way the light of laughter had so suddenly died from his eyes.

She walked along Meredith for a moment and her voice was quiet, subdued as she finally asked, "What happened?"

Mer's steps slowed for a moment and he gave her a long look, as though deciding how much to tell her, and then he sighed heavily and looked away.

Their steps echoed through the sleeping city as they walked. And as they walked, Meredith talked. "I told you we were at war? Well, it turns out there are worse things out there than the Wraith. There is a man, he is a member of a group of people called the Genii. His name is Kolya…."

Fin.