Kaede awoke today to find Tucker absent from his bed, which was unusual since he always gets up late. Getting out of, she arrived i the kitchen to see Caboose making breakfast. Although, burning would be a more accurate word.
"Hey Caboose, do you know where Tucker went?" Kaede asks.
"Yeah, he left with a huge stack of papers." Caboose answers if its normal.
"What could he be doing?" Kaede asks herself. They discussed visiting Kouta and after a bit of teasing, He said he would take her back to Kamakura in a few weeks. Kaede was excited and a little scared at the prospect of meeting the boy she still crushed on all these years.
"He's doing movie night." Caboose explains.
"What? Oh, again?"Kaede questions. "Did we order any new movies?"
"By new movies do you mean movies besides the one we have?" Caboose asks.
"Yes. Thats exactly what I mean." Kaede deadpans.
"Then no." Caboose answers.
"Hey guys! Where's Tucker?" Church calls out as he enters the kitchen.
"Movie night." Kaede simply answers.
"Thats tonight? Fuck, now I got baby sit the reds along with the current crop." Church complains.
"You don't have to baby sit me, remember. I'm responsible." Kaede reminds him.
"When you're the one thats conscious, yeah." Church mutters.
"Oh right." Kaede says guilty. "Sorry about what Nyu did."
"Hey, you've been apologizing for weeks now an I keep telling you. Stop. You didn't do anything. It was your ignorant other personality." Church says.
"Yeah. If we could speak to each other, than I could try teaching her not to do things like that. Along with a myriad of other things not to do." Kaede mutters.
Kaede watched as the reds piled into the base and around the TV. Luckily know one (cough cough *Sarge* cough cough) was starting trouble. Tucker and Doc stood by the TV once everyone got settled.
"Alright, everyone! Remember, we're calling a sanctuary, so no fighting." Doc exclaims.
"Well, I thought you could only call sanctuary in a Church." Donut brings up.
"Yea-huh? What do you want?" Church asks. Kaede silently chuckles.
"This is a Church! A cinema! So grab some popcorn! And shut up." Tucker says, excitement present in his voice.
"Ohh, we have popcorn?" Doc awes.
"Oh, no. Not really." Tucker says.
"Awww." Doc says in disappointment.
"Yeah, Nyu ate it all." Grif says.
"She did that too!" Kaede cries out. Grif smirked under his helmet. 'Great. A good excuse when someone questions why some food went missing.' Grif thinks to himself.
"Gentlemen, I had your curiosity now I'd like your attention." Tucker says.
"Yo vamonos." Lopez says before making good on his promise.
"A little background on our film tonight. Before Quentin Tarantino went on to dazzle audiences with Kill Bill, Inglorious basterds, and Pulp fiction, he made his first mark on the cinematic world with this stunning debut film." Tucker explains. "A little movie I like to call: Reservoir dogs."
"Hey, Tucker. I was just thinking. I've got an idea here: what if we watched literally anything else?" Church questions.
"Why would you wanna watch anything else?" Tucker genuinely asks.
"Uh, firstly, because this movie is older than Sarge." Church begins.
"Yeah, and old things are totally gross." Sister adds.
"How old is he, anyway?" Kaede mumbles to herself.
"Hey! I'm not that old. I'm 29, you sockdoggling whippersnappers. Get off my lawn!" Sarge answers.
"Uh, I didn't know there was a lawn here, sorry." Caboose apologizes.
"Wait, your 29!? That would mean..." Kaede trails off, doing the math in her head.
"Don't you guys get it!? Its still the only movie we have in this godforsaken canyon! He's got us by the balls!" Grif interrupts her train of thought.
"Wait, what happened to all the movies we had when Kaede first showed up?" Donut asks.
Flashback
Nyu was wide eyed. So this was what Caboose referred to as a movie. She had just finished watching Finding Nemo with Caboose, and to say she simply enjoyed it would be an understatement. Even though she didn't know what fish were. After sitting on the couch, utterly amazed for about an hour after the movie ended, she came to the idea that she had to make her own movie.
But she didn't know how to make on and get in inside the screen. So she came to this genius conclusion. She gathered all the movies the blues had, which were all on VHS for some reason, and placed them in a large bowl. After a moment of thinking what to do next, Nyu opened on VHS up to see what was inside. What she found was a bunch of papery things, so she ripped all those out of all the movies and got rid of the VHS containers. She then "mixed" them together before taking the bowl of what used to be movies to the TV.
There, she saw Church.
"What the hell happened to all our movies!" Church angrily yells.
"Nyu!" Nyu joyously hands him the bowl of paper.
"What the hell is this?" Church asks.
"Nyu!" Nyu responds, bounding over to the TV and pointing at it.
"Wait... you're telling me these are all our movies?" Church questions.
"Yes!" Nyu responds with a bright smile.
"Why would you destroy them like that?!" Church yells at her. Nyus expresion suddenly changes to one of fright.
"Nyu make! Nyu make!" Nyu cries out.
"Ugh... what ever." Church groans.
Present
"If that happened, why is Reservoir Dogs still here?" Simmons questions.
"Tucker keeps it in his bunk with him. He's that obsessed." Church answers.
"And thats that. So unless someones hiding Netflix in their armour-" Tucker starts off.
"Lopez just left." Simmons sighs.
"-You'll just have to settle for watching the greatest movie of all time, again. Caboose! The tape!" Tucker exclaims.
"Already set up." Caboose says, next to the projector set.
"Uh, you didn't tell me Nyu also destroyed the VCR player." Kaede brings up.
"Thats because she didn't." Church answers.
"Oh..." Kaede realizes.
"Yeah, so no need to use that Caboose. So why don't we just take the tape out, and play it in the VCR." Tucker says as if he's trying to talk Caboose out of destroying the tape.
"I vote we try it. This could definitely work." Church says.
"Second it!" Grif agrees.
"Okay, dim the light!" Caboose exclaims.
"No, Caboose wait!" Tucker exclaims. Caboose turns on the projector and it crackles before catching on fire.
"Uh-oh." Caboose simply responds. Everyone just watches the bonfire as Caboose quickly moves to stand with them.
"Uh, duh I-it broke! That is weird. I don't know how it- how that would happen." Caboose feigns confusion.
"Uhh soooo, since that thing is on fire should I still get the lights?" Sister questions.
"Well... at least Nyu is no longer the sole destroyer of all our movies." Kaede says.
"Thats what your worried about?" Grif questions.
"Hey, small victory's... if you can call it that." Kaede defends.
A Little Under a Week Later
"Well I don't know why I came here tonight.
I got the feeling that something ain't right."
"Ugh, is he still listening to that?" Kaede complains to the other blues.
"Yes. Just like the last times you've asked." Church groans.
"I guess the song has my brain moving on repeat." Kaede replies.
"He's been listening to that for awhile." Caboose notes.
"No shit. How longs it been Church?" Kaede asked.
"Six days." Church asks. "He's been listening for six days."
"None stop. I've been hearing that song in my dreams now." Kaede adds. "And thats IF I can sleep."
Flashback
"I'm so scared in case I fall of my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down my stairs."
Kaede lay awake on her pillow, eyes wide open as the music continues. She held her music box to her ear hoping it would down out the song while silently praying that Tucker wouldn't be struck with the inspiration to sing along.
Present
"Yeah, I'm getting concerned." Church voices.
"Really? Did these fears just start now?" Kaede remarks.
"Kaede, you gotta know Tucker time. His clock of a day doesn't match our description. Six days for him roughly translates to two weeks." Church explains.
"So for him, its like time is moving slower?" Kaede asks.
"Exactly." Church confirms.
"Okay, what do we do? Can't we just order a new VHS tape of the movie?" Kaede asks.
"Kaede, those are hundreds of years old, there expensive as hell and way outside our budget." Church explains.
"Hundreds of years old?" Kaede questions. Then why would they sell them in down town Kamakura last time she was there, not six hundred years ago, just six years ago.
"What if we made a new one!" Caboose suggests. Church looks to consider it.
"Wait, you're actually considering his suggestion and not mine!" Kaede questions.
"Yup. Caboose made a god suggestion. It is truly the end times. I'm gonna go get the reds." Church says before walking out of the base.
"Yeah. I'm awesome." Caboose says.
"Oh well, could be a little fun." Kaede admits.
"Yes! We are gonna be such good actors." Caboose says.
Later
Everyone minus Tucker and Doc are all gathered up while Church is at the front with a tripod camera and a diagram.
"Alright, now. For our remake, we're all gonna be playing characters from the movie Reservoir Dogs." Church explains. "I figure we can make like a sizzle reel trailer thing kind of thing. And just let Tucker direct the rest. Otherwise we're all gonna have to listen to him bitch about how we did it wrong." Coughing a bit, Church gets into his "Directors" voice (I see what they did there). "Here are your Characters. Mr Brown, Mr Blonde, Mr Blue, Mr Orange, Mr Black, Mr Pink, and I'm Mr White."
Church points to Lopez, Simmons, Caboose, Grif, Sarge, and Donut respectivly.
"Wait, why am I Mr Pink?" Donut questions.
"Are you seriously asking that question?" Grif asks.
"Its lightish-red. I've told you guys a thousand times!" Donut exclaims.
"Why don't I have a role. If Donuts complaining I'll take his." Kaede brings up.
"Hey! Tarran-terrible! Why the fuck am I not Mr blonde!" Sister yells.
"Uh, they both guys, and your not blonde." Grif answers both of them.
"Not on my head." Sister admits.
"What?" Kaede questions.
"There are no girls in Reservoir Dogs. Sister, go back to base. Kaede, I want you to be in charge of filming and special effects." Church orders.
"I guess thats not so bad." Kaede musses.
"What about the all female remake they made? Ya 'know? The terrible one?" Sister questions.
"Reservoir Bitches? It was terrible." Church reminds her
"Fine! Enjoy being sexist! I'm gonna go make my own movie! And It'll only have girls! Then you'll see who's sexist!" Sister yells.
"And where are you gonna get girls to help you make an impromptu movie?" Simmons questions.
"I've done it before. They didn't even care about the nudity. Because women. are professionals!" Sister exclaims. "Kaede, do you wanna-"
"I'm never getting naked on camera Kaikaina. EVER!" Kaede responds.
"Fine! Be that way!" Sister yells before running to start her own movie.
A Red vs Blue joint:
Resvoir
Resivouir
Water Pond Dogs
"Ugh, I am shot." Grif groans. He is laying in the back of the warthog with Church driving.
"Hey, you cut that right now. You're hurt. You're hurt real fuckin bad, but you ain't dyin. Kay? Trust me, I know what that feels like." Church says.
"Ahh... that heist. It went so bad. And now, I've been shot. I am going to die, I know it." Grif says, his acting really shitty.
"That heist went bad! But you're not gonna die! I'm... uh... line?" Church whispers the last part.
"I'm going to get you help." Kaede whispers off screen.
"Right- I'm gonna get you help!" Church declares.
"Herk-" Grif starts.
"No! Don't you herk blergh me! You hold on!" Church commands.
Cut to the jeep driving across the canyon.
"From the visionary brain of Quentin Tar.. .tar... rantuala." Caboose narrates. Cut to the team walking towards the camera, explosions going off behind them, though to one member of the audience can see the invisible arms setting them off. "In a movie where some people who like wearing the same kind of clothes and have colours for their names, decide to have a robbery heist, and also, secret spoiler alert, one of them is a cop!"
Cut to a trunk view of Sarge, Donut, and Church.
"I think one of us is secretly a cop..." Church says.
Cut to a gun fight.
"There is violence and guns and shooting and stuff." Caboose narrates.
"Bang!"
"Pew pew bang!"
"Bang! bang! Bang bang bang!"
"Oh no, according to the script, I've been shot." Grif says.
Cut to Simmons and Caboose with gasoline.
"Who the fuck gave him actual gasoline!" Simmons exclaims.
"I'm a method actor." Caboose responds.
Sister then runs onto the screen. "Vagina power! Down with the man! Suck my lady dick! End woman's suffrage! We've suffered long enough!"
"Nyu!" Also walks up, completely nude.
"Yes Nyu! Lets go finish our movie!" Sister screams.
"Nyuuuuuu!"
The trailer ends. Everyone is silent, though Kaede's face is visibly red. Probably due to the embarrassment on screen of everyone but mostly of Nyu embarrassing her.
"So... yeah, its still a rough cut." Church says, sounding embarrassed.
"Dude, that was awesome!" Tucker praises.
"Oh thank God." Church breathes with relief.
"Does that mean we can make the rest of the movie now?" Caboose asks.
"As Quentin Tarantino would say: let me suck on that bitches toes!" Tucker exclaims.
"Gross." Kaede comments.
"Ah-ha! I knew there was a girl in the movie!" Sister exclaims. Just then, the group got a ping sound from their helmets. Except those that didn't have helmets.
"What is that?" Kaede asks.
"Here let us check." Church says. "Relocation orders?"
"Relocation?"