Improper Guardian

Chapter Thirty Seven

By: Brenli

"Well? I'm waiting for questions, Nemaelle."

Nema blinked. "Call me Nema. And I'm trying to think of what I should ask first."

She watched as the leader of the host of Angels smiled at her. Now that he was not exercising his power over her, she could see that Raziel's eyes were actually a very deep blue. She thought they might even rival Michael's for their purity. "I'd imagine I already know all the questions you have lined up for me."

"Do you?" She said this more as a statement than anything else. She knew he knew what she wanted to ask. The trouble was actually asking.

And Raziel folded his hands on his desk. "Why won't you tell them the truth? Are you ashamed to be an I-Child? Are you afraid that they will hurt you? Have you lost faith in the original Anima Mundi? Do you hate us? Will you forsake us?" He gave her a sidelong glance. "All these come from any I-Child."

Nema bowed her head in acknowledgement. "I speak for my people."

She watched him sigh, his chin resting on his fist, his blue eyes sliding closed. "… I believe that if given the chance to do things over, I might have openly admitted to my origins… And I would have been the voice for our people. It wouldn't have been a job for you to take."

"There's no point in looking back." Nema told him quickly. "That is one of the most valuable things my life taught me. What happened then is something you can't change. You can only keep it from getting worse."

Raziel chuckled. "For a young girl, you are wise." He paused, sighed again, and continued. "… I am not truly ashamed to be an I-Child. I have never hated you because I AM one of you. I never lost faith in the Anima Mundi… it merely split into two divisions that rarely contacted each other due to my actions. But I will tell you now that yes… I am often afraid that the pure Angels of Heaven will hurt me if they knew what I am. And though I've never forgotten you… I've neglected to help you, even when the Rabbit Hunting began."

"… And why did you let it go on, then?"

"I'm afraid I'm a very cowardly leader."

"That's a brave statement for a coward to make. Real cowards make excuses."

Raziel offered her a lop-sided smile. "… And I have no excuses, other than I was afraid that I would be found out. It's not admirable."

"No, it's not."

"But I'm not a coward…?"

"Not being admirable and being a coward are two different things, aren't they?"

"… In some sense." Raziel slowly began to unwind even more around the Queen of the Revolution. He had painted a ruthless picture out of her, envisioned her as a merciless and bloodthirsty spirit of revenge, something to haunt the Heavens… now, as she reasoned with him without prejudice, he could see he had painted the wrong picture.

"… And you haven't told them the truth because you believe it would have killed you."

"… Yes. You see, when I had come into power, Heaven was in a very shaken state… the sad truth is I think the ultimate Truth about God hit us much too hard. We were afraid of many things. We were afraid of almost everything. But the Anima Mundi were left, and I was the head of them… an Improper Child was set up to be the next ruler. And Nema, we were definitely one of the first things to be feared…"

"You don't think they would have accepted it."

"That is a thing with most Angels. We don't adapt well, by nature. We had believed too firmly in God's laws for far too long… so to have them all ripped away and replaced with…"

"I understand."

"Do you?"

"… I understand as well I can. I'm not going to say that's an easy decision… So hiding your origins is an easy way out of that mess."

"It's not admirable."

"I never said it was. I'm not patting you on the back." Nema's voice grew a little firm. "Your decision lacks bravery and consideration of the overall good of ALL Angels, White Wing AND Rabbit. It's a decision that doesn't save our people. It only saved YOU. … But I'm not going to attack you for it. That's unfair. Fear is a natural feeling… especially from someone who was not even a full-fledged adult Angel at the time he'd been placed into a position that big."

Raziel's blue eyes blinked at her. "… You are the only I-Child that took into consideration my age at the time that I stepped up to that position."

Nema only shrugged. "I'm a young girl. I know that fear."

A smile, genuine and wide, curled his lips. "… I'd like to thank you."

"Thank me when we're done. I'm not finished with you." She scolded gently. "… You reprogrammed God."

"… It was hard to take care of Heaven when it was in shambles and had beliefs that were very different from mine. No one understood why I thought it was necessary to care for Shamayim and the other ghettos of Heaven with a top priority over the rest of the land."

"Those places had suffered long before that incident with my father. After that whole adventure, the ghettos were like wounds that were ripped open even further."

"That's a logic no one had but me, at the time. About a month after my reign began people began to talk… Accusing me of having a very particular connection to Shamayim…"

"You were afraid you'd been caught."

"That I was going to be, if I didn't act quick. So I did something I would regret, even as I was doing it. I began to do research on the Laws… and I made a program. And with a simple computer that's locked away in Atziluth, with only my access, I installed it."

"… You made God?"

Raziel laughed. "A Pseudo-God. A Judgement Machine. Something of that sort… that was my intention. It was merely supposed to be something for me to access if I needed help… which was often. I thought I was being safe. I thought it would help me understand… but now… the computer will not shut down."

"… What?"

"… I mean that the computer refuses to stop… being. Over time I found that every computer in this building somehow has my program installed on it… it will go haywire if you try to get rid of it… and as for my computer… I do not touch it."

"Why?"

"Because it has killed three men who tried, and it very nearly killed me."

Nema was quiet for a long time, trying to think of what to say.

"I know it is almost cartoonish. Are you thinking of computer wires strangling people?"

"Or laser beams shooting out of the screen?" Nema said with a smirk.

Raziel shook his head, rolling his blue eyes. "… I believe I have inadvertently reprogrammed the REAL God, Himself. Or, if not Him, then His equally tyrannical cousin."

This time Nema had to laugh.

"… It's hardly a funny matter."

She softened into a snickering and said, "So this… New God… He is indestructible?"

"I have yet to find a way to get rid of Him."

"… Do you want to get rid of Him?"

"… I'm not sure."

This made Nema's smile fall off her face. Once again she was forceful. "And why not?"

"To simply kill Him off – if that's even really possible – means I must create a whole mess full of new laws… The change is so sudden people can't adjust… It will be chaotic. That's something I can't risk."

"That's something you better learn to risk…! Or else people like me get impatient and try to change things in our own ways…!" Nema said moodily. Sympathetic she might have been for now, but she wasn't going to let this leader begin to shy away from her ideal. That wasn't what she came here for.

"Is that a threat?" Raziel responded lowly.

"That's just the truth. What do you think I've been DOING all this time?" Nema snapped back, and allowed a few seconds to pass with them glaring at each other, suddenly at odds once more. "… I still have my request."

"If your request is to wipe out God –"

"I want to end my war. The issue with God is something I can work out with you later… even though I wouldn't MIND pulling the plug on Him right now."

Raziel blinked. "… You've come this far and now you want to end it all?"

With this Nema pulled out a picture from under her mini-crown, unfolded it, and showed it to him. And Raziel's eyes grew into big blue orbs. "… That is the Qarnier. I had awarded it to a woman who had commenced a rebellion against Cheriour."

"Nyssa." Nema nodded. "… It is my sword, now. Nyssa was Wing Cut."

"Wing Cut…" Raziel muttered sadly.

"As was an ex-boyfriend of mine… Rujiel."

"Rujiel?" He eyes widened with recognition of the name.

"His little sister Lilliel is also gone."

"… I see." Raziel said quietly. "… You've come to realize the heavy burden of all these deaths."

"I think a part of me always knew… but now I understand it much more."

"… So then you want to end the Rabbit Revolution. … This is something you can do without my help."

"No. I know I can quit at any time. But the moment I do is when the Rabbit Hunting begins to rise up, and then it'll mean everything I've done is pointless."

The leader of the host of Angel kept a weary eye on her. "… What are you plotting?"

"… A trial? Do you have to make it sound so evil?" Nema blinked.

"A… trial." Raziel repeated.

"Yes. In a way. I want Cheriour and I to be tried before the host of Angels, and the council. We will state our beliefs. We can take any questions that come our way. And if Cheriour wins, we lose and Rabbit Hunting keeps going on… but remember that if you're ever found out, that means your head."

Raziel swallowed the lump in his throat. "… And if you win?"

"That would mean that several of God's so-called 'Natural Laws' are flawed… and that means that once a year, a single law is removed from the system or altered to fit the picture of the true Heaven."

"One law a year… that'll take a long time."

"A nice, slow change for your comfort, then." Nema eyed him teasingly. "And if I win… the first law that goes out the window is –"

"The law against love amongst Angels."

"Exactly."

"… That wipes out more than one law at once. Marriages will be allowed, and children, and –"

"Well, considering how many of us exist to begin with, Raziel, I don't think the removal of that law will ACTUALLY change much. Do you?" A smile crossed the Queen's lips.

Running a hand through his golden strands, he smirked at her. "What a deal you've got, there. I swear you might be the end of me…"

"Oh, no. I might be, if you make me angry enough, but so far you're still in my good book."

He laughed, and then sighed, holding out his right hand. "… A d – Wait."

Nema's pale fingers hovered over his. "Yes?"

"The judge of the trial will most likely be Uriel… and he is a close acquaintance of yours."

Nema's mouth began to frown just slightly. "Uriel has gone through recent heartbreak… I'd imagine that if anything, he would be against my notions of love. He'd be against love in general."

"… I see." Raziel nodded, and then grasped her hand firmly in his. "A deal, then."

"Deal." Nema accepted the shake warmly. Truthfully, she thought this had happened much too easily, but there he was shaking her hand, awarding her with a friendly smile.

"You better make sure I don't regret this. I'm going to be VERY disappointed if that's the case."

"I WILL win. And when that happens, you'll be able to freely admit to who you are. You're a fucking loon if you happen to regret that!"

Raziel laughed heartily, and it was then that Nema noticed the picture on his desk. It was a copy of the very same picture she'd passed in the hallway, of the younger Raziel standing before this merry-looking priest, an annoyed expression wrinkling his brow. "… Is that your father, there?"

Raziel's laughs ended as he looked down at the image. "I hadn't known it was him until he was gone… he was Wing Cut." He sighed, lamenting the past. "He annoyed me more often than not, but I loved good old Zaphkiel like the father he was all along."

"… Zaphkiel."

Raziel nodded. "There isn't a soul alive who doesn't know of him… I'd imagine you learned about him from the Anima Mundi members on your side."

"And some research of my own… He shared… a lot of my views. To be honest I think I look up to him. I've wondered if he would be proud of me."

"Very much so. I would imagine that if he were alive he would hit me with his God forsaken fan…" Suddenly Raziel adopted an aloof and dreamy smile and hit Nema over the top of her head with an imaginary fan. "See here, Raziel! Why are you lying to the world when you clearly rule over it? Can't you take after Nema's example? And could you get me another cup of tea?" He mocked him perfectly.

Nema laughed. "Sounds like a fun person!"

"When he's not dragging you off to Tokyo Disneyland against your will, sure."

"You don't like Tokyo Disneyland?"

Raziel only shrugged. "It was okay. Do you like Tokyo Disneyland?"

He watched her ruby eyes light up. "It's the best! I've only begged to go there almost every birthday I had up until I was 12!"

And Raziel rolled his blue eyes. "Then Zaphkiel would have ADORED your company, that's for sure."

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"It hurts so muuuuuuch…!"

"Ah, quit your whining! Why don't you try getting one that goes up your neck and onto your face? Maybe THEN I'll let you whine! But not now!" Michael snapped at the curly-haired maid that pouted and stole glances at the tattoo over her chest.

It was an idea inspired by the necklace that Katou had given her, and she wanted to do something that would be considered rebellious, because that was obviously Katou's thing. Over the expanse of flesh just above her breasts, now crossed to shining pistols, and tied together with barbed wire and two blood-red roses in full bloom. A banner fluttered over this image, with Katou's name carefully written in Old English lettering.

It was… the last thing Michael expected her to get. He hadn't expected her to get a tattoo at all. But after Michael had let the remnants in the tunnel to Raziel burn to ash and requesting Raphael to whisk the ash away with a swift gust of wind, he'd come home to find her there… with Barbiel and little Abel in her arms.

"She has something she wanted to ask you, Michael." Barbiel had said with a smile as Raphael took Abel and listened to him laugh.

And for a moment, Michael had been scared, until he heard Doll's meek question of, "Do you remember where you… got your tattoo?"

Now he was walking back to the place he momentarily called home, Doll in tow, whining about how much pain she was in. "Just don't TOUCH the thing, you hear?" Michael grumbled at her.

Doll continued to look down at her tattoo. "It's bleeding!"

"'COURSE IT'S BLEEDING, IDIOT!" He snapped.

"There's no need to get so snappy with me! I've never had a tattoo before!"

"Well you've just been STABBED with needles. How can you NOT know you're supposed to bleed?"

Doll pouted. "Geez, you're so grumpy! You're like, twice as bad as Katou! But at least Katou is cute when he's angry!"

Michael practically gagged. "Katou, Katou, Katou… Good Lord, I feel fucking SORRY for Uriel!"

Doll grew sullen at this. "I DO happen to keep myself in check around Uriel, thank you very much! … This whole mess… I'm sorry it had to be this way. But you know… he –"

"Waited too long. Everyone knows that. He knows that. That's a large part of the reason why he's so pissed off right now."

"… But he still lets me live there… With Katou. To me, that's a sign that somewhere in there, he's still the Uriel I admired. A kind, generous Angel… And I do think that one day, he will find someone else, and when that happens, he won't sit back and let her slip away. Not again."

Michael had nothing to say about that, so he only shrugged.

"… God, it itches!"

"Yeah, well don't fucking scratch it! Or it'll be a waste of all that damn money of yours!"

"Just because I said it itches, doesn't mean I'm going to scratch it!" Doll pouted again. "Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy…!"

"Shut up." Micheal mumbled.

"You are almost grumpier than USUAL. You're always a jerk to me, but you've got something mean to say just about every time I talk!"

"Shut up…"

"Of course, a lot of people say you've been REALLY high-strung lately. They say it's because you're thinking about popping the question."

Michael froze, and the air around them began to feel much too hot. "… What did you say…?" He voice seared the poor girl's soul.

"… That you're thinking about popping the question?" Doll's voice squeaked as Michael spun around to give her the most frightening green glare she'd experienced.

"WELL YOU CAN TELL WHOEVER YOU HEARD THAT FROM TO SHOVE IT!" The Fire Angel growled. "IT'S NOBODY'S DAMN BUSINESS WHAT I'M THINKING!" And with that he stomped on to his room, leaving Doll at the front door with questions in her mind.

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Damn them all! DAMN THEM! What the fuck? Did EVERYONE want them to get married? Was it so fucking vital? It wasn't like it was legal, anyway!

And so WHAT if Lucifer had left an open invitation to hop down to Hell for a ceremony? SO WHAT? Michael didn't want to get married there! No offense to him and all, but Michael wanted to get married HERE! IN HEAVEN!

And no, that DIDN'T mean he wanted to get married right now, because he technically couldn't, anyway! And even if he COULD that didn't mean anything!

So damn them all. Damn them ALL!

The War Angel paced inside his bedroom, fuming. What was WITH everyone? You'd think everyone would have died if they didn't get married! And why, oh WHY was that such a big deal? The hardest thing Michael had ever done in his LIFE was just ADMITTING that he loved Nema. Was that NOT enough now?

Michael's boots thumped across the floor as his biker-gloved hands tore at his red hair. "… Damn it!" He hissed. Maybe… he should just get it over with. Like Raphael said, they were as good as married, anyway, right? So maybe he should just do it. Yes. Right when she came through that door, there, he'd ask her. She was probably just waiting for for it, anyway, right? And when he asked her, she might even become so excited (like girls usually are when they're proposed to) she'd pounce on him and give him the biggest damn kiss in the world –

"MIIIIIIIICHAEL!"

He didn't even have the time to blink before he was tackled right off his feet. Lucky for him, he landed not on the hard ground, but on the softness of the bed he shared with Nema. And Nema nearly suffocated him, and then she gave him the biggest damn kiss in the world.

"Wha- ?" Michael choked out between kisses. What the Hell was going on…?

She stopped kissing him for a brief moment, her red eyes shiny as polished rubies. "IT'S YES!"

"What?" He couldn't say much else before Nema was kissing him again. This was getting very… VERY weird…

Then it all made sense to him. "Raziel said yes! The war is OVER!" She finally rolled off of him, a content sigh leaving her mouth. "It was so much easier than I thought it was gonna be…! He didn't do much arguing, at all! So there'll be a trial, and the war is finally over!" She smiled, rolling onto her side, looking as adorable as a happy bride. "This is one of the best days of my life."

"… Oh." He smiled for her, but somehow, he felt let down. He didn't know why.

And then she giggled and pounced on him for the second time. "Let's celebrate…!" And now the sparkle in her eyes took on a different meaning.

"Oh really?" He grinned up at her, watching her nod.

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A shy knock on the door stirred Michael from his slumber. One blue eye slid open, squinting from the light that was still shining. A simple grunt was all he offered.

And then a voice spoke up from the other side. "Nema-sama requested a feast in celebration for her latest success. It's ready."

The Angel grunted again, this time in annoyance. Pressing a kiss in the white crown of her head, he gently shook her awake. "… Food's ready…" He mumbled sleepily.

But she waved it away with her pale hand and snuggled against his bare chest.

"Nevermind." Michael called out lazily. "We'll show up later if we want."

As he listened to the departing footsteps from the other side of the door, he looked down at his snowy-white lover, naturally white as a bride. God, it was a perfect time to ask her…

"Nema…"

But she was already asleep… no doubt dreaming of success and freedom, and not of marriage. So he kissed her forehead and allowed sleep to come over him, not knowing that just maybe, she was dreaming of wedding bells, too.

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AUTHORESS NOTE:

Geez, this update took so long…! I blame work, I do. However, upon consideration of the upcoming schoolyear and some not-so-great-treatment at my workplace, my last day of work will be on the 19th! Yes, that means I will be jobless for a while… Though I am planning on looking for a new one when I get into the swing of things, if the workload isn't too much. It might be though… A biology lab class (I am not of the math & sciences), and I'm finally actually taking a Japanese class. Oh, I do have my work cut out for me.

I know I've said it before, but it's almost the end! And I really do mean it this time, I swear! Maybe a few more chapters! Yes… And if I make it over 40 chapters, I am going to go into shock, because I never fathomed it taking this long.