Flee From Our Troubles

Dire Mistake

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, Candy Land would definitely be a world! XD

Author's Rambles:
In case you didn't get last chapters warning, angst alert! There's a lot of angst in this chapter. There will probably be a lot more of it, too, later on!

I was cold, tired, and scared. The rain was not my friend. It just kept pounding on me and pounding on me until I wanted to give in. But I wouldn't let it break me. Or … at least that's what I thought.

"Riiikuuuu!" I whined. "How much farther?"

"Not too much longer. Quit whining," he replied as we headed into town.

"But I'm cold!"

"Shut up. We're there," he cut in, and I looked up and saw a huge hotel. There was a loud crash, and the night sky lit up. I whimpered slightly. I have bad memories connected to the rain. "YUFFIE! LET US IN!" Riku yelled as he banged on the door to the hotel, which was, apparently, locked. He banged on the door a few more times, before I heard Riku sigh and start walking around back. He pounded on the door a few times before a very disgruntled raven haired youth whipped the door open with a glare on her face and her mouth set in a grimace.

"Do you have any idea what time it is!" Yuffie screamed at the silver haired teen before me and I cringed.

Riku looked at his watch. "12:05. Why?" he asked in his usual non-caring voice as the raven haired girl glared daggers at the boy.

"I was sleeping, you jerk. Anyways, come on in. You might as well since you're here," she said, opening the door a little far enough to let us pass. "Who's the kid?"

"Name's Sora. Sora, this is Yuffie," Riku said, going through the door and shaking out his silver locks with quick flicks of his head and spraying water everywhere.

"Watch it!" she muttered tiredly as she closed the door behind us. "Room 16 is open, if you want it," she said, reaching over to a set of hooks with numbered labels. She took one down and tossed it over to Riku who caught it with ease. "I'm going back to bed," she yawned out, and started towards some stairs.

"Come on, Sora," he said as he grabbed the keys and started walking out towards the stairs that led to the rooms. He walked until he found room number sixteen and opened it with practiced simplicity, and walked into the room. I followed closely behind him, and saw the room. There was a desk in the corner, a small bathroom … and only one bed.

"It's not much, but it's the closest thing to a solid home I have," Riku said, walking over to the right side of the bed and setting down his bag. He jumped on the bed and lay down. When I didn't follow, he looked over at me with a curious look that was quickly hidden. "Why are you just standing there?"

"………"

"Well?"

"…… There's only one bed."

"So?"

"Where will I sleep?"

"On the bed."

"With – with you?"

"We'll share."

"Oh. I think I'm going to take a shower first, though," I said, not completely comfortable with the concept of sharing a bed with him. I put my bag down by the bed and grabbed a long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants out, then walked over to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and shut the door. I turned on the water tap and switched it to the shower. As I waited for the water to heat up I stripped off my clothes and stepped in once I deemed the water warm enough.

I felt the water wash away the dirt from the past couple nights, but it didn't wash away the feeling that was inside of me. Why did those kids want me? I'm not pretty, or smart, or cute, or handsome, or … or … anything! Why would anybody want to hang out with a scrawny slave? I'm sure Riku's just doing it to be nice … nobody used to care before …

"Leave me alone!" a young brunette screamed as he was pushed into the arms of a sneering blonde.

"Make us," the blonde mocked before pushing him into some one else.

"Please!" he cried.

"I'm getting bored of this," one of the bullies commented, and they quickly dropped the crying boy onto the damp pavement. They left him huddled there, crying for everything he was worth. The poor boy couldn't have been more than four or five years old. Soon, a man came walking by, glanced at the crying boy, and started to walk on. But almost as an after thought, he turned around and squatted down by the boy.

"What's your name, brat?" he asked, his silver hair falling past his shoulders and towards the younger boy who was doing his best to stop crying. The boy's white t-shirt was ripped and dirty, and his red shorts were smeared in mud.

"It's – it's Sora," he stuttered as he held himself in a ball.

"Sora, where do you live?"

"A-around the corner." The slums.

"Why don't you come with me? I'd like you to meet my son …"

I came out of the shower and toweled my self off with the big fluffy towel. I walked out of the bathroom and noticed the silver haired boy already asleep on the bed. Quietly, I made my way over to him, and watched him as he slept. He looked so… peaceful. I made my way silently to the other side of the bed, and sat down, being extra careful not to wake the sleeping beauty.

I sat there, just thinking, and I still couldn't get around one thing. It just didn't feel right to be sharing a bed with him. I got off of the bed, and grabbed my sack off of the ground. I walked over to the corner of the room and lay down, using my bag as a pillow. I huddled up in ball, and listened to the rain coming down on top of the roof. I heard the thunder crash and saw the lightning flash from the window. I cringed once again as I remembered the painful memories connected to that lightning.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but my dreams were filled with broken memories that haunt me to this day, even though they happenedseven years ago. Mostly I remember … fire. Lots of it. Burning everywhere … everything. Everything I knew, cared for, and loved. I remember the screams of people trapped inside their homes screaming for all they were worth for help. Such terrible, terrible memories. I can recall the men on horses capturing people. Kids, women, men … me. I tried to get away, but I couldn't. I wanted someone to save me, but there was no one.

"Sora, why are you sleeping on the floor?" I heard a faint voice ask. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a concerned face looking down at me.

"Umm … because?" I replied with a nervous smile.

"Come on, sleep on the bed or you'll be sore tomorrow," he said, taking my hand and pulling me up. He pulled back the covers on the bed and I climbed in, feeling the covers drop back on top of me as Riku let go. I soon felt a weight on the other side of the bed, and the rustling of sheets could be heard over the sound of the rain pounding against the window. "Now let's hope that there won't be too many more thunders like that."

We sat in silence for awhile, before I heard Riku shifting around behind me as I lay curled up in a ball. "Riku," I asked, "are you still awake?"

"Yeah," came the tired reply.

"Just wondering," I said back.

"Why are you always like that?"

"Like what?"

"Every time somebody does something nice for you, you act like you don't deserve it. Why?"

"I don't know … I guess it's because I don't deserve it…"

"That's a lie, and you know it."

" … … I just … don't want to get hurt again…"

"Sora, I won't hurt you," Riku said, sitting up and looking at me. I turned around and found his aquamarine eyes staring at me.

"How do I know?" I replied, sitting up as well.

"When have I ever hurt you?" he said, as a thunder shook the building, making me jump up in fright. I fell into Riku's arms, and he caught me easily. He looked down at me, our faces dangerously close. And before I knew it, our faces were pressed together, our lips meeting in a soft, chaste kiss. I faintly tasted a peppermint taste, as he pulled me closer, and I willingly let him. But just as soon as he did this, I felt him tense up and push me away abruptly. He looked away and said, "Let's just get some sleep," he said, lying down with his back towards me.

I turned to my side as I felt my heart clutch painfully within my chest. I was sure that Riku hated me now. I felt as tears welled up in my eyes and flowed down my cheeks, and for once I was thankful for having learned to cry silent tears. I waited for Riku's even breathing, signaling that he had fallen asleep.

Silently, I slipped out of bed and tip-toed over to my bag, rummaging through it. I thought I had gotten over this … I thought I had kicked this habit years ago … but it's just so hard to let it go, especially when you need the release the most. I pulled my hand out, and in it I held my prize – a knife.

I could feel my hands shaking as I rolled back my sleeves. Putting the cold blade to my skin, I realized … it was too dark. Quietly, I stood up from the ground and moved to the bathroom. Without a sound, I shut the door and flipped on the light. I waited in trembling anticipation for my eyes to adjust to the sudden light so I could find the release that I so desperately needed.

When I could finally see again, I looked at the blade in my hand, and the scar marked skin.

'Why am I doing this?' I asked myself. 'Because you have nothing else. Nothing to lose, nothing to gain. This is the only way.' I watched with strange fascination as a quick flash of steel the harsh, unforgiving blade, easily slicing through the pale flesh, made a crimson trail. I watched as it dripped into the sink. Sure, many of those scars were from my life as a slave, but some were self-inflicted. Yes, I was a cutter, not that I was proud of the fact. But it was the only release from it all that I had. Something about seeing what keeps me alive convinced me that I was still alive … physically, if not mentally.

I heard the thunder crack once again, and I flinched. Better finish up. I turn on the faucet quietly and wash off the blood that had been flowing freely for minutes now. I waited for all the blood to disappear, then rolled my sleeves back down, ignoring the stinging sensation that the fabric rubbing against the thin scab caused. I was a very quick healer. I turned off the faucet and heard the rustling of the sheets outside. I froze, but figured that it was just Riku moving in his sleep.

I quietly opened the door and walked back towards the door quieter than a mouse. I looked at the sleeping boy in front of me. I bet he has somebody waiting for him. That's why he's out here. He didn't care about me. Who did? Certainly not the man who treated me lower than dirt for half my life? But I did know some one. My best friend. That's why I'm out here, I realized. That's the light I'm looking for.

I climbed into bed, still not waking the older boy. "I'm sorry, Riku," I whispered nearly inaudibly. Sorry for the kiss. Sorry for ruining your relationship. Sorry for being a burden. Sorry for living. Sorry for … everything.

Author's Rambles: (VERY IMPORTANT!)
I was depressed when I wrote this, so bear with me. So, Sora's a cutter. And Riku and Sora kissed! I was thinking about maybe moving to the category rated "M", but it depends on what you guys think. Depending on your answer, the events in the story will probably change ... but it's up to you. So, please review and tell me what you think!