Thank you to everyone for reading, reviewing, PM-ing and tweeting me about this fic, your little words of encouragement are giving me motivation to keep going even on manically busy days. Extra special thanks to Anny, Meggi and Ficmouse for their endless words of support as ever.

So here we go, chapter 13. I hope you enjoy it.

To look out for you

The definition of responsible

Responsible: adjective; being the primary cause of something and so able to blamed or credited for it, morally accountable for one's behaviour

Zoe Hanna

Zoe lit up another cigarette, her second in a matter of ten minutes and surveyed the scene in front of her with relative interest, feeling that anything was better than continuing to sit in silence with a colleague who now appeared so disengaged from everything around them that she had barely raised so much as a glance when she had approached and asked if the girl wanted some company. From their position on one of the benches of the peace garden Zoe looked out at people coming and going from their busy department in various states of happiness or distress dependant on the news they had just received or were waiting for in anticipation, before those departing headed either off for the car park, bus stop or in a surprising amount of cases the pub, somewhere she herself wished she could be right now drowning her sorrows and commiserating with Nick, a man she knew she really needed to sit down and have a proper conversation with over a few drinks.

Other people and their lives could only distract her for so long however from the situation in hand and the fact that Nick had just informed her that the girl sitting beside her was leaving them all to head off to a warzone in a matter of a couple of weeks. The fact that the headstrong woman was so adamant she was departing was of no surprise despite the realisation she wished it was not the case, but that did not stop her being concerned about Sam's physical and mental fitness to undertake such a huge upheaval and demanding role, especially given recent events.

Zoe recalled her recent confession to the same man who had imparted Sam's piece of news to her that her own relationship with Dylan was a sham, to such an extent that she was unsure if the two of them could even salvage their friendship anymore and had clarified the situation for him by explaining that her apparent partner was actually still in love with his ex-wife, whether he would ever admit that to her, Sam or anyone else seeming particularly irrelevant now.

Zoe remembered how awful she had felt that morning when she had finally awoken, after an incredibly disturbed night of sleep, to the memory of her assignation with Dylan and how he had gotten up and walked out of her apartment almost as soon as that had been over. She had tried to speak to him earlier that morning but her pleas appeared to have fallen on deaf ears and her reassurance that his wife was not seeing Tom had been completely blown out of the water by the two parties arriving concurrently, clearly having been home together the night before. The look Dr Kent had given her in the difficult moment when they had all stood awkwardly in the staffroom had spoken volumes about the reality of what had occurred, so it had been with bewilderment that Zoe had spent the remainder of the morning hearing from Linda about how the two younger doctors had definitely crawled out from the same bed earlier that day.

Her own suspicions about the status of Tom and Sam's relationship had been aroused ever since the girl's attack some days before, when Zoe had been so sure that she was not telling the truth about her implied plans with another man and subsequent conversations they had had, including Sam's brief snapped response at her when she had made an observation in Nick's office just a short while before had all but confirmed that there was no real relationship to be hidden. She still was unsure quite why the younger woman was making such efforts to convince the world that she had moved on, other than it possibly being an attempt to get under Dylan's skin, but the irony of the fact that Zoe's comment about things not being what they seemed had related to her own relationship difficulties with the same man and not Sam at all had not been lost on her.

Zoe had already been incredibly tired when she had arrived at work that morning, sleep having been difficult to come by given the events of the previous night. However she had been reasonably looking forward to getting stuck into the chaos of the E.D. and trying to keep busy to ensure she had something to focus on other than her own confusion. That Nick had decided to allocate gossip-hungry Linda to work with her had annoyed her no end, but she had been able to see quite how difficult his staff planning had been that day having seen what a sorry state some of her colleagues had been in from the staff drinks the day before and strangely she had found herself wishing she had been there, rather than trying to push Dylan to face up to their non-existent relationship issues. A simple night out of drinks on the town was something she had started to miss ever since she had become closer to her grumpy colleague, because for obvious reasons that would not have been his idea of a good time and she had therefore found herself turning down invitations like that in recent weeks out of respect for him, not she realised that he ever appeared to have noticed this had indeed been the case.

Zoe recalled that Linda had made an exceptional effort to provoke a reaction from her and elicit some juicy gossip whilst they worked on the small number of resus patients first thing, but she credited herself with enough integrity not to be that easily drawn into saying something she might regret. However Nurse Andrews' persistence had appeared to have paid off with some other members of the team and the fact that the blonde nurse had spent most of her time flitting between various areas of the department to gather and share her newly acquired information had been an irritation to say the least. The look on the woman's face when she had walked in on Nick attacking Tom had been close to gleeful and the fact that she had scurried off so quickly to impart her knowledge to others had been a source of dismay to Zoe, as she had realised quite how difficult this incident would be to contain.

In truth she herself was still struggling with quite how badly Nick had behaved, even after talking through the messy saga with him and although she did understand he had acted in such a manner to protect Sam's honour, Zoe still couldn't begin to comprehend quite how far her ex-partner had stepped over the line from boss to protective father figure with the girl. She recalled with horror the look on Tom's face as Nick had approached him, looking for all intents and purposes as if he was going to give him a good hiding and with the whole situation blowing up so unexpectedly she had not been surprised when Dr Kent had barely been able to defend himself from the tirade of abuse he had received. Zoe thought back to the moment that Nick had been pulled away from their colleague and felt so thankful that Charlie had appeared from nowhere, as she didn't think she would have been able to prevent the one-sided war of words escalating into a physical fight on her own.

She had fleetingly spoken to Tom in the E.D. entrance as she had headed out for a smoke and he had quietly reassured her that he was not pursuing Nick any further for the attempted assault, mainly out of concern for the impact such an action would have on Sam, but despite that she couldn't help but worry about the increased tension Nick's actions had caused in an already fractured team. It was clear to her from the brief words that she had exchanged with Sam when she had initially sat down next to her that the girl had no real understanding of how or why the altercation occurred in the first place and found herself feeling sorry for the young woman for not being able to see how much the people around her cared about her welfare. Zoe cocked her head slightly to look at her female colleague, taking a long drag on her cigarette as she did so and reminded herself of how quick witted, determined, feisty and smart Sam used to be and couldn't help but wish that she was anyone other than Dylan's wife, as she was sure they would have been firm friends if they weren't complicatedly connected via Dr Keogh.

Zoe thought back to Nick's awful words to Tom in the heat of the moment and felt the wave of devastation that had come across her earlier make a reappearance. Although Dr Kent had been shocked at the tone, rightfully so if her assumptions about the lack of relationship between he and Dr Nicholls were correct, Zoe herself had felt laid bare for all to see on hearing them. It had almost been as if Nick's words about her colleague's actions had actually been a pointed reminder of her own behaviour with Dylan, even if he had not actually known how stupid she had been at the time and it had hurt to see her own behaviour lain out so simply in front of her, as if all the world could criticise her for her mistake.

She had found it somewhat cathartic to open up to Nick and confess to him after his own act of idiocy, but having someone else know what happened between her and Dylan the night before still left her feeling embarrassed. Zoe had yet to work out exactly where she stood with Nick Jordan, as despite him making every effort to avoid her that morning she had seen his face crumple in sadness for her on hearing her explain that Dylan's heart lay elsewhere and somehow it had felt natural that he be the one she confided in, regardless of the hellishly cruel argument they had had some twenty four hours before. She still knew that they would eventually need to go back and deal with the outstanding issues from that, because things had been said that neither of them could take back, but she remembered how safe she felt wrapped in his arms as they had stood together in his office, each trying to work out quite what their next steps needed to be.

Zoe reflected that she was still smarting from what had actually happened between her and Dylan, with a vague sense of being used filtering through her mind every single time she thought about her own behaviour. She had allowed the alcohol to cloud her judgement, but she was well aware that this could not be an excuse as she had known from the moment she led him to her room that what they were doing was wrong. She had realised even then that he was compromising by sleeping with her and whilst a part of her was angry at him for behaving so badly, she was kicking herself for thinking it through at the time and still going there anyway. She was unsure looking back whether she felt worse that he had used her to scratch an itch, a way of distracting himself from his wife and desire not to have to face up to the outstanding issues in his marriage, or the fact that she had been desperate enough for his company that she had allowed herself to be second best. In either scenario though she was well aware that she had to take her fair share of responsibility for what had occurred, but even that could not take back making the mistake that may well eventually cost her the friendship of a man she had started to fall for many months before.

She had approached him earlier in the shift to try and rectify the situation by apologising for her part in the disaster they had created, but Dylan had not wanted to talk about it which had come as no surprise knowing him as well as she did. However when he had told her that as far as he was concerned it had never happened it had burnt her even harder than the initial rejection and they had ended up having a heated argument in the middle of CDU, which Zoe knew had not been a wise move on either of their parts. However they agreed that it would be for the best that they did indeed bury the night's events rather than allow them to play out publicly and Dylan had given her the smallest indication that he was sorry for how things had panned out, by breaking his emotionless state to inform her that he had liked being her friend. The words coming from him had seemed alien, as she had not been at all sure the man was capable of friendship nor whether this was what they actually had and she had felt dejected at how the terminology he had used confirmed for her that they would never be more than that, even with her now acquired knowledge that Sam would soon be leaving.

Zoe identified that she had come to accept Dylan's feelings for her were not on the same page as her own for him and knew now that she could not cling on to hope anymore that something more could occur. She couldn't help but feel saddened though at how devastating the impact their presumed closeness had been on the young woman sitting beside her and the weight of guilt she now felt on hearing that Sam was running away. In fact the only positive Zoe could take from the entire scenario was that she seemed to have rebalanced her connection with Dylan, albeit in a way that was not exactly mutually agreeable, and that his wife had not been present to witness any of their disentanglement nor have knowledge of the previous night's assignation.

"Sam," Zoe started, the trail of thought finally making clear in her own mind what she needed to say to the girl and the sound of her name causing her colleague to slowly look round at her in interest. "Nick told me you're leaving soon," she added. "You really need to sort things out with Dylan before you go, you can't leave things like this."

"I think what happens between me and Dylan is our business, not yours," Sam responded pointedly, a frown fixed across her face.

"Of course it is," Zoe answered, her conversation with Nick still ringing in her ears. "But you owe it to each other to at least sit down and talk things through before you go," she continued before hesitating. "Dylan still loves you, you know," she blurted out.

"Tell you that did he?" Sam replied with a sneer and Zoe could see why the girl would dismiss that thought out of hand given how uncommunicative the man could be. "No, I didn't think so," she furthered on getting no response. "Anyway it's too late, there is nothing left to talk about," she ended dismissively.

"You're still here another three weeks Sam," Zoe countered, trying to convince the younger woman that talking was actually an option worth pursuing. "It's never too late."

"I'm starting the divorce proceedings," she shot back. "It's over."

"Did you not hear what I said?" Zoe questioned, desperation filling her voice. "He still loves you," she added slowly and simply, trying to make the situation as plain as she could for the girl.

"Did you not hear what I said?" Sam retorted. "I'm getting a divorce. It's time I gave Dylan his life back, we've been over for the longest time and I need to let him go."

Zoe could tell instantly from the way Sam looked away from her gaze blinking furiously that her colleague's eyes had filled with tears and she would have given the world to be able to reach out to her in reassurance, but knew the younger woman would not have wanted to appear weak in front of her yet again. Over the past few weeks she had come to realise that the girl was far too good at avoiding sensitive interactions, just like her husband, but unlike with him she could see that Sam was nowhere near as expert in keeping her counsel when there was something on her mind nor holding a blank expression to hide her inner turmoil. The fact that Sam was as emotionally incompetent as Dylan but as passionate as Nick was intriguing to Dr Hanna, because it was a combination that used to make the girl a force to be reckoned with, rather than now dragging her into isolation and despair. Zoe recalled that she had witnessed the woman's anger on more than one occasion but recently she had come to pick out the ever present fear and desperation in her eyes.

"Are you seeing Dylan tonight?" Sam questioned suddenly, still not turning round to meet Zoe's stare, but causing her to snap out of her thoughts nonetheless.

"I don't know," Zoe responded quietly, both in truth over her lack of knowledge as to where they now stood but also believing that it was unlikely that would be the case.

"I'd appreciate it if you did," Sam explained, her voice barely audible. "I'm going to tell him about me leaving and the divorce before I go home and I don't know," she elaborated, her voice trailing off momentarily. "I don't know what he'll say but he might need a friend and I know how close you two are these days. If he'd want someone there it would be you I guess," she justified, apparently more to herself than anyone else.

"Look whatever you think is happening with me and Dylan, it's far from the case," Zoe replied. "We aren't in a relationship, there is nothing going on between us."

"You don't have to protect me from this," Sam said despondently. "You're nowhere near as good at hiding how you feel as he is. I know you're in love with him, so step up and be there for him. That's all I'm asking of you and then I'll be out of your hair for good," she continued before standing up and turning to face her. "I hope it all works out for you both I really do," the young woman said earnestly. "He deserves to be happy Zoe, he really does, and I know you can give him that like I never could. I get that you think there might still be some feelings there between me and him and you know what, there is bound to be something there given how abruptly we just ended things, but please believe me when I say it's over because I threw it all away long before either of us even knew you existed. None of this is your fault, but you're the one who can pick up the pieces for him. I need you to do that and so does he," she explained. "He'll just never ask you, that's all."

Zoe watched as her colleague marched back towards the entrance to the E.D. on finishing that statement feeling incredibly sad at the whole mess. She had seen how apparent it was that Sam had not been able to accept even the possibility of her husband still being in love with her, but at the same time the young woman's last statement had made Zoe realise that although she did have feelings for Dylan herself, this was far from being in love with him as yet and therefore once she had gone away to lick her wounds, she knew she would eventually get over him. She couldn't see how Sam would possibly end up so fortunate given that she was about to throw her marriage away when it was possible that it could be saved, especially when that ill-judged decision had been made with the weight of the world heavy on the girl's shoulders.

Zoe accepted that she bore some accountability for the crazy situation they all now found themselves in, with herself, Nick, Tom and Dylan all tied up in knots over how best to handle Sam. However she now realised that the best way to ensure the happiest outcome for the majority, Sam included, was for her and Dylan to confront their issues and start working on patching up their marriage, and if that meant Zoe herself ended up alone that was a sacrifice she was willing to make. She was not prepared to be responsible for letting Sam walk away forever with so many things left unsaid, not when it was within her power to ensure things did not stay that way.

Sam Nicholls

Sam sat down on the bed in one of the treatment rooms and took a deep breath to steady her nerves. She had never noticed it before today but when they had rebuilt the department following the fire that had nearly claimed her husband's life they had taken away nearly all of the places to hide, the only real exception being if someone was senior enough to have an office. She very much doubted that she would ever be that kind of doctor, nor did she guess she would want to be, definitely preferring to be out and about in the thick of things than tied up with paperwork. Nonetheless on days like today she didn't half wish that she had somewhere of her own to run to, other than this little space or the ladies toilets that is.

Sam knew she had always been an expert at running away from things, that or burying them so deeply they would never come back to haunt her, a skill she had learnt from her own messed up childhood. However she well knew that it hadn't been until that fateful day when her and Dylan had first gotten together that she had learned to use such a talent to so great an effect and for the last four years or so her methods had worked the majority of the time. She had coped reasonably well she thought with her separation from her husband, despite her overwhelming desire to return to her previous behaviour, but since she had been back in his orbit it had been harder to control her own emotions, something she had been kicking herself for ever since she had first cried over his attachment to Zoe.

As it was she now found herself close to tears for what felt like the millionth time in the past few weeks and it was for that reason she was hiding out away from everyone, determined not to break in front of the entire department, especially because it would only add to the vast amounts of gossip already swirling around about what she had been up to in her private life.

Sam recalled that when she had returned to the department following her conversation with Dr Hanna outside her head had been spinning, both due to the fact she had now informed Zoe of her divorce plans and therefore had to tell Dylan quickly, but also because her colleague's own words had almost broken her heart. The other woman's claims that her husband still loved her had made her consider the immediate thought things might not yet be over, but as quickly as that feeling had descended Sam had batted it away. She could not claim to know her husband any better than Zoe these days, but what she did know was that Dylan did not wear his heart on his sleeve and therefore whatever her colleague thought she knew, it was likely to be far from the case.

She had busied herself instantly on returning to the E.D. and had found herself taking on additional patients purely to ensure she kept herself occupied, finding that the simple interaction with patients who did not know or care about her far easier to manage than discussions with her colleagues. Sam had recognised that the cubicles area had become a lot more manic in the absence of her, Tom and Nick, and as she felt a significant degree of responsibility for pulling them all out of the department for one reason or another she had made it her personal mission to restore order to the chaos and luckily for her, Scarlett had seemed eager to just follow her commands without question.

Sam had tried to ignore Zoe's return to the E.D. but had barely been able to disguise her relief when Dr Hanna had headed back off into resus rather than join her out in the main department. She had been able to feel everyone else's eyes upon her as it was and that had been difficult enough to bear, working alongside Zoe would have just added to her complications no end. Sam remembered the wave of nausea that had come over her instantaneously on Linda gleefully informing her that Dylan had indeed heard about the altercation between Nick and Tom, causing him to apparently trudge back to his own hideout in CDU. She had felt her heart immediately sink on hearing those words, because if either the blonde nurse or Lenny had been involved in imparting that particular piece of news to him he too probably now believed that she was sleeping with their boss as well, as absurd as that concept felt to her. She realised now that even given everything that had occurred and her imminent departure from Dylan's world she still did not want to disappoint him and every part of her regretted that she had allowed things to spiral this far out of control.

She had barely seen Tom since her return to the E.D. and she felt quite awful at how grateful she was for that, but she had recognised his similar need to her own to keep busy to avoid having to deal with what had occurred any more than was required. There had been one or two occasions where they had both appeared at the central desk in cubicles simultaneously, but on each instance she had immediately withdrawn and then sent Scarlett back for whatever it was she had approached the desk for in the first place. Sam recalled the hurt look on Dr Kent's face when she believed he had realised she was deliberately walking away from him, but from the moment he had referenced in their conversation outside quite how much his friendship with her was impacting on his working relationship with both Mr Jordan and Dr Keogh she had known it was in his best interests for her to dismiss any attempts he made at re-establishing their own connection. The fact that she still was unsure as to quite where they all stood meant that she could not guarantee he would be kept out of any further worsening of tensions and therefore she had come to the decision that distance between them was the only safeguard she could provide him, despite knowing how much she had come to rely on his humour and companionship in the last week or so.

Mr Jordan had also arrived back in the department, but Sam had found it easier to avoid him as he had appeared to have made the decision to stay out of the main cubicle area to keep out of Tom's way. She recalled that he had tried to speak to her on more than one occasion though until she had finally brushed him off with a dismissive comment about wanting him to leave her alone, before she had fled from his side on seeing the wounded look that had crossed his face. Sam had known all too well that he had only stepped in to protect her honour because she had allowed herself to get too close to him, but a small part of her still couldn't help but find it infuriating that he had overstepped the mark with Tom, whatever his justification for doing so.

As she sat in her hiding place she reflected back to that moment and she had to acknowledge that freezing him out had not been her best decision, but she didn't know what other option she had any longer. When she thought back to all of her interactions with her colleagues since Tom and Nick's altercation Sam could see how much she had withdrawn herself from the people around her in such a short space of time, with the only person she now felt able to show the world being detached army medic Sam, not the Sam she knew she had allowed them to get to know of late. The irony of the situation being that it had been her two closest confidantes ending up in a dispute over her welfare that had caused her to act like this was not lost on her, but despite knowing exactly what she was doing she had made the choice not to stop herself from shutting them out. She had been in the same position once before and she knew how much damage she was likely to do herself pushing everyone away in such a forceful manner, because back then it had nearly cost her everything. Nonetheless with only three weeks to go until she could escape to the relative sanctuary of her robotic army state in the hellish environment of Afghanistan, this was the only thing she could think of that would preserve her sanity until that departure date.

In fact she strangely hoped that she might even be helping her colleagues and the friends she was about to lose, because she was leaving soon enough and they would have to say goodbye to her then regardless. The less they cared about her at the point she chose to have as her farewell the more confident she could be about walking away and leaving them all unscathed. Sam recalled that on her previous two tours there had just been one person she had needed to say goodbye to and that had been difficult enough, but this time the break was going to be a clean one and she would be leaving them all to forget about her, something she knew would soon happen, even for the paramedics, Tom, Nick and Dylan.

Sam allowed her thoughts to consider what other people might make of her dramatic change in behaviour through the shift, but she decided that once they knew she was going they would probably put it down to her being focused on that. However in truth she could not actually bring herself to care what they thought of her, because the most important thing was that she took responsibility for the mess she had created and set them all free from their connection to her before she had to leave. A task that she knew had to urgently include informing Dylan of her plans, both to take up this posting and also to initiate divorce proceedings against him by the time she departed for war.

She recalled her conversation with Zoe outside in the peace garden and the other woman's insistence that she sort things out with Dylan as a matter of priority. Sam knew she had told her to butt out of things that did not concern her, but in fact Zoe was at the very heart of the issue as it had been her importance in Dylan's life that had caused the jealousy Sam had been feeling build up inside her for weeks. Dr Hanna's persistent declarations that Dylan still loved her had gotten to her a little that much was true, but she knew that the words were far from correct having seen the intensity of her husband and Zoe's connection in CDU earlier that day.

It had hurt a great deal to ask Dr Hanna to be there for Dylan after she had informed him of the news of both her impending departure and their divorce, but Sam had seen how her colleague had reacted to the pointed remark that it was easy to see she was in love with him. Even after everything that had occurred, she did still trust Zoe to do the right thing and be the support Dylan may need to talk through any residual issues he had over the breakdown of their marriage, even if it was not necessarily fair to ask the other woman to be the one who had to listen to that. Sam reflected that if circumstances had been different she was sure she and Dr Hanna could actually have been friends, but she sadly knew that this would now never be the case.

She remembered how she had felt this overwhelming need to apologise to the woman for dragging her firmly into her own marital mess, but instead she had settled for wishing her all the best for her relationship with Dr Keogh, despite Zoe's protestations that she should hear him out first. Sam had felt an odd sense of comfort in passing over the batten of responsibility for Dylan's happiness to the older woman, mainly because it had felt like the first step she had needed to make towards sorting out the outstanding issues she had to resolve before her departure, but she had still been taken aback by quite how much it had pained her to say the words aloud.

Sam finally decided she needed to shake herself out of the dark mood she was in and head back into the department to catch up on some work, knowing that she had been a significant reason for the disruption in the E.D. that day, however indirectly in some cases. As she re-entered the cubicle area she saw Scarlett returning from a bay and headed over towards her, with the pretty young nurse smiling up at her as she approached.

"Are you alright?" Nurse Conway asked before Sam could even speak, looking at her with a face full of concern.

"I'm fine," she responded, trying to sound as reassuring as she could. "Honestly," she added, on seeing that Scarlett had not seemed appeased by her first statement. "Listen, I just wanted to tell you that you've been brilliant today and I've told Tess as much," Sam explained. "I don't know if that helps you or not, but I wanted her to know that I couldn't have coped without you." She recognised the girl's expression as surprise on hearing those words and realised quite how few times she had ever offered praise to a colleague for a job well done, wondering not for the first time why she had allowed herself to learn from Dylan this skill of becoming oblivious to the talent of those around them.

"And I wanted to say," she went on with a sudden sense of urgency. "That I've heard you and Lloyd have had a row and I know it isn't any of my business, but maybe you should talk to him about what's gone on. I mean, I don't really know him that well but it sounds like he was trying to protect you and sometimes it's nice to have someone to look out for you, even if they go about things the wrong way," she explained. "Just give him a chance yeah?"

Scarlett nodded simply in response, obviously bewildered by the outburst but acknowledging the point that had been made nonetheless. Sam looked over the girl's shoulder and saw Mr Jordan appear back in the department, but before she headed off to speak to him she had allowed her hand to briefly rest on the young nurse's arm in a gesture she hoped would demonstrate her understanding of the dilemma that Scarlett faced. She instantly recognised the irony in her own words of comfort though, as so far her attempts at allowing someone to look out for her had not exactly ended well.

"Mr Jordan?" Sam stated formally as she sidled up to him and she saw the questioning look evident across his face on hearing her words. She found herself averting her gaze quickly from his eye contact as she still couldn't bring herself to understand the chain of events that had led up to him nearly punching a colleague over something as insignificant as her. "Can you free both myself and Dylan up for half an hour or so?" she asked, before continuing without giving him time or space to answer her question. "I don't want to have to ask, but I doubt he would meet me after work and I need to talk to him before he goes home for the day," she added. "I don't think any of this mess can be sorted until I've spoken to him and then you can tell whoever you like that I'm leaving. I don't care after that."

"Go and wait in my office," Nick responded meekly, his lack of continuing the conversation speaking volumes to Sam about how off kilter their friendship had become in the matter of a few hours. She watched him head off in the direction of CDU before she herself made the short walk to the Clinical Lead's office.

Sam settled herself into the chair that felt like it had become her semi-permanent place of residence in the last week and waited with a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach in anticipation at the next conversation she was about to have. She caught herself pulling at the still healing cut in her arm, the same sutured wound Tom had already removed her fingers from once that day, and silently berated herself for allowing her emotions to become so visibly evident in her actions for all to see.

"Are you going to tell me why I'm here?" asked the unmistakeable voice of her husband as the door swung open and she stood up to come face to face with both Dylan and Nick, standing side by side in the open doorway.

"I'll leave you two to talk," Mr Jordan quickly chipped in before departing and pulling the door closed behind him, leaving husband and wife staring straight at each other in abject silence.

"Well?" Dylan finally questioned pointedly. "Are you going to tell me why I'm here or am I just supposed to guess? I do have a department full of patients down there to be getting on with."

Sam took a deep breath to steady her nerves again and found herself chewing her lip in nervous anticipation of the words that were about to leave her mouth. However whilst she accepted that this was about to be the most difficult discussion she had had in years, she knew that the only way to take responsibility for the situation she now found herself in was to finally open up to the one man she knew would hate having this conversation even more than she would.

"Do you remember when I was in hospital all those years ago you made me a promise?" she asked softly, eliciting the smallest of nods of acknowledgement from him in response. "Well it's time to come through on that now," she continued slowly, her voice thick with emotion and tears prickling the back of her eyes. "I need you to let me go Dylan," she added, "just like you promised you would."

Yes, you read that right - Sam and Dylan are going to have a conversation, their first of the entire fic I believe and we're only on chapter 13!

Thank you for reading as always and you all know how much I love reviews.

The next part should be up over the weekend. Callie x