Flee From Our Troubles

They're Only Words, Right?

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts ... but I can't wait till KH2!

Author's Note:
Oh my gosh! I was NOT expecting that many reviews! Well, reguardless to say it got my lazy self working on the next chapter! All of your reviews were so kind! I loved them! Thank you to you all! For those that care, I had a wonderful birthday! Thanks so much! Without further delay, here's the next chapter!

"Riku …"

"What are you doing here, Sora?" he asked as his grip on me tightened. He pushed me against the wall, staring at me with his piercing aqua eyes as he did so.

"I don't know …" I replied, "I guess I just kind of wandered here." I used my free hand and rubbed the back of my head. The brick wall was really cold …

"You … shouldn't be here …" he said, releasing my arm and looking away. "I don't know what might happen …"

"I don't care, Riku," I retorted right back. "I have to know … why did you leave me? Why did you leave me all alone?"

"I don't want to talk about it …" he said, still not answering my question as he refused to meet my eyes.

"Please, Riku," I murmured, putting a hand on the arm closer to me. He pulled away from my touch as soon as I made contact, and finally I understood why. "It's … because you hate me, right? That's why, isn't it?" I felt tears welling up behind my eyes. I turned away, not wanting to hear the answer and feel my heart break in two. 'My heart hurts so much …'

"Sora --" he started.

"I … don't want to hear it," I sobbed, turning away farther and taking shaky steps towards the street. I didn't stop until I felt a hand grab my arm.

"Sora, I don't … hate you … it's just …"

" 'Just' what, Riku?" I asked, looking down at the ground without moving. He didn't answer for a long time, and we just stood like that, me staring at the ground and him holding onto my arm.

After awhile, he finally muttered, "Do you … want to get something to eat?" I took it as an invitation to talk things out, so I nodded my consent and he let go of my arm and came up beside me.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly, as we left the dark alleyway and stepped onto the sidewalk.

"A restaurant I know," he replied, still avoiding my eyes. We traveled in silence for the entire walk, neither of us wanting to break the awkward silence, uncomfortable as it was. It gave me some time to think as we walked, so I started to delve into my recent thoughts.

'So, Riku doesn't hate me,' I thought as we walked along. 'But that doesn't mean he particularly cares for me, either. It's like food,' I realized, 'I may not like a certain one, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I hate it.'

We turned the corner a couple blocks down, and continued on our way to the restaurant. I really had no idea where we were going, but at the time I didn't care. I was with Riku again, and I had never been happier … yet I had never been sadder at the same time. My mind, soul, and body were a jumble of mixed emotions that I had no idea what to do with.

I followed him until we stopped in front of a green and blue building. He held open the door for me and followed me inside once I had walked past him. The waiter inside was a short blonde and eyed us suspiciously.

"Two, Riku?" she asked, grabbing two menus. I looked at Riku, who grinned innocently.

"Yeah, two," he replied, and she led us to a table near the back of the restaurant. "I'll have a coffee, and he'll have a coke," he said, and the girl wrote down the order and walked away. As soon as she had left, he lost the fake smile and looked like he normally did.

"Riku …" I murmured, but I don't think he heard me. After awhile, he finally spoke.

"So, um, Sora…" he started, but trailed off at the end.

"Huh?" I asked, hoping he would actually talk to me.

"Um … nothing," he said, looking in his lap. I could have sworn I heard him mutter something about 'looking thinner' and 'eating right'. He still hadn't made eye contact with me since he had caught me, and I was starting to get worried. I had never seen him act this way before. He had always acted so confident and sure of himself, no matter what happened. To see him like this was … unnerving.

"Riku … please, answer me … why – why did you leave me? You left me when I needed you most. I just want to know … why?" I asked, trying to find an answer to the questions that made my heart ache so much. Part of me was afraid to ask, yet another part of me had to know. The only thing I was afraid of right now was the answer.

"Sora … do we have to talk about this now?" he asked, locking eyes with me for the first time since we had re-found each other. The look in those aqua shaded depths scared me. They were haunted, ridden with so many emotions I couldn't even name them all. Fear, guilt, weariness, sadness …

"Here's your drinks, boys," the blonde said, setting down the fizzing drink in front of me and the steaming one in front of Riku along with a pot. "Ready to order?" she asked, taking out a notepad and a pen.

"Uh, two burgers," Riku replied, and the girl jotted down the order and went off to the kitchen. I watched as Riku ordered, and the fake smile he plastered on to fool the lady. His eyes held none of the emotions I had seen just moments before, only a false happiness. I didn't know whether to be honored or insulted. Honored that he would show such a sensitive and hidden side of himself to me, or insulted that he didn't seem to care whether I saw or not.

As soon as she left, I saw the mask drop and the solemn, haunted expression reappeared. In my mind it just didn't make sense. How could Riku get this way? It made absolutely no sense! Yet, he still interacted with society, while I cowered from it in my own little world like turtle hiding in its shell. I felt dirty, like I didn't deserve to live. "I, uh, I have to go to the bathroom," I lied, quickly grabbing my bag and dashing for the men's restroom. Luckily, there was no one in there, so I ran into the largest stall and shut the door behind me, reaching into my bag and pulling out my new best friend – a blade.

My hands were trembling as I brought it to the delicate skin and pulled down, creating a jagged gash of flesh and blood on my arm. I had never been this rough before … why now? Was it because Riku was here, after all this time, like this? Or was it my own nerves driving me to be so forceful in my own self-mutilation?

I decided on the latter as I slumped against the wall, defeated. No matter how I tried to restrain myself, it ended in this. Damn was my life fucked up. My breathing was uneven as the sting sent shocks of pain throughout my arm and my body. I brought my arm to eye level and watched as the thick crimson flowed in what was practically a river down my arm. The release was almost like a drug. The feelings I felt coursing through my body was nothing that I had felt before the first time I had done this. The blood made me feel alive! I don't think I'll ever know what my fascination with blood is. It's not like I didn't see enough of it when I was seven.

The opening of a door brought me to my senses. I jumped and immediately dove for my bag. I pulled out the first aid kit that I had made sure to stash in there. I opened it with ease and found some gauze and some tape. I took out a disinfectant pad and opened the packet, the smell of the cleaning liquid making me wrinkle my nose in disgust at the strength of it. I swiped it across my arm, the liquid stinging the deep gash. I bit my lip in an effort not to cry out and alarm whoever was in here with me. I felt tears threatening to fall as I mopped up the blood, not even concerned about the fair amount that spilled on the ground. Once I was sure that the self-inflicted wound wouldn't get infected, I grabbed the gauze and wrapped it tightly around my arm, taping it so that it would stay in place.

I cleaned up the small mess I had made as I heard the door open a second time, signaling that somebody else had come in. But this one's voice made me freeze. "Sora? You've been in here for nearly twenty minutes … are you sure you're okay?" Riku asked.

"Fine," I called, stuffing the small box back into my bag. I closed the top and stood up while yanking down my shirt sleeve over the white gauze that I knew was slowly being turned red. I opened the door and saw Riku leaned against the door with a slender eyebrow raised. "See? Fine," I murmured as I walked past him and into the restaurant.

"You sure?" he asked behind me.

"P-positive," I replied, cursing myself for stuttering. We both went back to the table where our food was now sitting, waiting to be eaten. I sat down and took a couple of bites before I decided I had had enough. I had been eating so little these days …

Riku seemed to have noticed as well, and said, "You should eat more, Sora."

"I'm not hungry," I replied, sitting back against the cushioned booth. "What I really want is some reasons. Riku … why do you hate me?"

"I've already told you, Sora, I don't hate you," he replied, and I could tell that he wasn't lying to me. I saw the truth in his eyes. But I just didn't understand …

"But if you don't hate me, then why did you leave? You promised you'd help me … protect me … but you weren't there when I needed you the most …"
"Sora, what happened?" Riku asked, looking stoic on the outside, yet at the same time his inner turmoil in his eyes showed his alarm. His eyes seemed to be the key to his emotions.

"It doesn't matter," I mumbled, "because I don't matter."

"That's not true!" Riku snapped. "You do to matter! The only reason I left was because there was … someone … else …" he muttered, "and that kiss made me feel like I was betraying them … I freaked out. I'm sorry, I really am … but you need to believe me. Please, tell me what happened," he pleaded, grabbing my arm, not knowing that was right where the cut was. I winced as I felt his fingers press into the wound. He misread what the wince meant and quickly withdrew his hand with an apologetic expression.

"They … they did things to me – well, at least tried to. I was too weak to do anything to stop them, but Aerith knew what to do. But it doesn't matter what they did to me … I have to know … I know you don't particularly care for me, you don't even have to like me … but please, can I stay with you? I don't care if you don't love me, or if you have feelings for somebody else … I just need to be near you, and I'll be fine! Please?" I whimpered, looking imploringly in his eyes.

"Sora … I don't know if that's such a good idea …" Riku said, once again looking away. I decided I had had enough.

"Riku … am I so horrible?"

"What?"

"Why … why can't you love me the way I love you?" I asked, tears stinging at my eyes once again. My fists were clenched as I willed the tears to stay hidden, to not let them out of their prison. I bit my lip to ease the pain. "Why, Riku?" I cried. If I didn't leave now, I would collapse. I was fighting a war between me and my weaker self, and I was losing horribly.

Without another word, I dashed out of the restaurant, leaving my things behind me as I went. Why wouldn't Riku let me be with him? It's not like I was asking him for … for that. I just wanted to be with him, to be near him so that my heart didn't hurt so much … but I guess that was just too much to ask. I didn't even know how long I ran, but I had to. I had to run from the object of my desire, so I didn't seem weak in his eyes. But nonetheless, I felt worthless to him.

I turned the corner and crashed into a wall of warm flesh. I was sent crashing to the ground, and when I looked up to apologize, my eyes widened in shock.

"No … No!" I yelled, scrambling to get up and run back the other way. I felt a hand grab the collar of my shirt and I choked. "Let me … go …" I gasped out, pulling at my shirt in an effort to get free. I squeaked as the person pulled me to them, strong arms wrapping around me in an attempt to keep me with them. "Please … I don't want to go with you …"

"Careful, you'll hurt my feelings" a deep, husky voice muttered into my ear, sending shivers down my back. I whimpered, as I continued to struggle.

"No, I don't want to go back … please," I cried, desperately clawing at the arms in a panic.

"Sora?" I heard Riku call from the distance.

"Hmm, Riku's here too, huh?"

"You – you know Riku? Leave him alone! He's got nothing to do with this!" I yelled, as I kicked out, hitting the man in the stomach.

"Gah!" he yelled, shoving me onto the ground. I tried to get away, but I felt two more pairs of hands grabbing me by my arms. "Put him in the car," the man ordered, and the two people holding me started pulling me to a parked car. "And tie him up!"

"Let me go!" I shrieked, before a hand clamped over my mouth.

"Sora?" the distant voice asked as the silver haired boy turned the corner and froze in his tracks. "S-Sora?" he asked, stuttering over his words as he took in the scene before him.

"Riku, you shouldn't let your mouth hang open," the man said, smirking at the shocked boy.

"You … you bastard! Let him go!" he yelled, making a dash for me. Two more men stepped out of the shadows and grabbed him as well, effectively keeping him away from me.

"Riku!" I cried out, "help m – mmph!" A gag was roughly shoved into my mouth as ropes bound my wrists and ankles together. I struggled violently against the intruding binds, tears starting to roll down my face. I didn't want to go back … never again!

"I said, let him go!" Riku screamed, kicking one of the men in the shin and the other in the groin. He raced to my now bound body and I hoped more than anything that he would reach me in time. But I felt my hopes shatter as the man grabbed him and pinned his arms behind his back. The two thugs he had kicked came up in front of him and punched him in the stomach repeatedly. My eyes widened at the sight of the defenseless boy.

"Take him to the slave port," the man ordered, glaring down at the boy with his yellow eyes. Almost as if it was an after thought, he added, "Drug him first." My breath caught in my throat as I felt a damp cloth pressing against my nose and mouth, the chemicals over powering my senses immediately as I was thrown into the back of a car. I felt darkness creeping in around me and covering my eyes with a hazy darkness. The last thing I saw as oblivion's hands pulled me into the dark abyss was Riku collapsed coughing on the ground, blood pouring out of his mouth in great masses, creating a puddle in front of him. The people around him were leering as they admired their work. I saw Riku keel over and fall into his pool of blood.

"Ansem, you fucking bastard," he spat, and the darkness overtook me completely.

I'm sorry … Riku …

Author's Note:
Gah, I'll bet you all hate me! Well, luckily for you, I won't have homework for like three weeks due to state testing! So, I'll update soon ... but first I need some inspiration ... hint hint, lol. If I get over 175 reviews I'll get another chapter out as fast as I got this one! Ja ne, y'all!