Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed, tweeted or PM'd me about the last chapter. Sorry the updates aren't coming up as fast as hoped, but what with working full time and juggling two fics I seem to have taken on quite a lot at the moment. Anyway, your support for this fic and my writing never fails to make me smile - especially because some of you have been really lovely!

This update is dedicated to all of you who have messaged me this week (you know who you are), with extra special mentions going to Ficmouse, Meggi and of course Anny - who has kept me company online this week through many a 3/4am work session. This one is for you!

So here we go, the next chapter.

To look out for you

The definition of vulnerable

Vulnerable: adjective; exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally

Zoe Hanna

Zoe stubbed out her second cigarette in matter of minutes and went to take out a third from the packet that had remained in her hand throughout her break. However as she opened the box and started to remove yet another white stick she cursed herself silently for smoking too much and instead shoved the packet back into the pocket of the blue cardigan she was wearing over the top of her scrubs. Zoe had never really taken any notice of criticism over the amount of nicotine and tobacco that she used to get herself through a difficult shift, but in the last ten days or so since Dr Nicholls had been assaulted even she had realised that she was smoking far too much these days, a fact she was sure was directly linked to the stress of the circumstances she found herself in with Sam, Dylan and Nick.

Zoe leant back against the wall next to the entrance of the E.D. and wondered with despondency quite how it had all come to this. Until that morning she had been reasonably certain that when and if Sam returned to the department from her self-imposed isolation things would begin to return to a semblance of normality, but having witnessed the young woman's erratic behaviour upon them both making an early arrival at work that day her hope of that had diminished substantially.

She recalled how difficult that first encounter between the newly returned Dr Nicholls and her colleagues had been in the staffroom that morning as the girl had appeared to literally lose the plot in front of their very eyes whilst also seeming to make every effort possible to provoke an irate reaction from their Clinical Lead. It had been crystal clear to her, especially in light of the young woman's apparent apathy towards the reaction to her sudden disappearance, that Nick had been livid about Sam's attitude towards everything that was occurring and Zoe remembered exiting the staffroom in his wake to prevent him from giving the other female doctor both barrels of his anger, especially as she had known he would regret it almost instantaneously if he did.

It wasn't as if Sam's defiance in the face of colleagues showing her care had not grated on Zoe as well she considered, more to the fact that it seemed to her that despite the real and present danger the young woman was in she had shown little care or interest in the risk Mr Ellis posed to her and it had almost seemed an irrelevance that she may likely be subject to a second vicious assault. She had found Sam's complete lack of comprehension of the situation mind-blowing, as although she felt she knew the girl well enough to hazard a guess that she would hate to feel vulnerable, her reckless indifference to her own safety was alarming and Zoe knew instinctively from the way the woman had presented and the small snippet of conversation she had heard her direct towards Dylan that there had been something in her past that had caused her to act so irrationally when faced with such a threat.

Zoe allowed herself to bring to mind Dr Keogh on remembering his hasty exit from the staffroom when Sam had referenced something he may recall from their time together and sighed at the apparent awkwardness of the situation between herself and the man she had once considered a potential partner, to the point where she now felt unable to question him directly over how he was coping with the current set of circumstances. She was certain that Dylan had actually been avoiding her over the last week, despite their agreement that they both valued the close friendship they had come to share and whilst she was also sure she was not emotionally equipped as yet to take on the baggage that came with resolving the issues between him and his wife she also knew that she was not prepared to stand on the sidelines and continue to let everything fall apart.

She recalled the moment that herself and Nick had seen Dylan and Sam return to the department following an apparently intense, and long overdue, conversation in the Clinical Lead's office seven days previously and the relief at clearing the air that was evident on both party's features had been so apparent as to be obvious to the waiting doctors. Despite Zoe knowing that the topic of the couple's discussion must have been serious and heated at best, she thought back to how Sam's eyes had been lit up and the genuine smile she had shot back in the direction of Dylan as they broke apart on their return to work. However it had only been a short time later, not long in fact after Nick Jordan had attempted to offer Zoe herself some comfort over the recent turn of events, that she had been made aware that Sam had inexplicably fled from the department in tears. Dylan had been unreachable ever since that particular moment, his demeanour coloured by an increasingly bad temper and the young girl had failed to reappear at work for an entire week as a direct result, meaning that whilst to date Zoe remained unsure exactly what had occurred between husband and wife that afternoon it appeared that any chance of them happily reconciling and Sam remaining present in Holby for the foreseeable future had been destroyed.

Zoe felt her stomach rumble as she stood lost in thought against the wall of the E.D. and wondered with disinterest quite why she had chosen not to eat lunch that day, before reminding herself that she had come outside under the pretence of needing a cigarette mainly to avoid the endless questions and gossip that were littering the staffroom since Dr Nicholls' earlier meltdown. Her only other option for a lunch venue had been the office, but somehow sitting down to eat at Nick's desk had not seemed appropriate, despite how many times she had grabbed a sandwich there in the past as she wrote up notes. She knew that she should be endlessly pleased that her and Nick were once again back on positive terms, but she couldn't help but feel a strange sense of disappointment that they had moved on from the argument as if it had never occurred in the first place, in much the same way they had handled their break up some years before. If her experiences in watching how Dylan and Sam interacted and failed to deal with the issues left outstanding from their marriage had taught her anything it was that nothing significant should be left to linger unsaid and for that reason she knew that one day soon she would need to confront her ex-partner over the breakdown of their own relationship. Nonetheless Zoe recognised that she had much appreciated his support in the last seven days since she had confessed how used she felt at Dylan's actions and despite the past she had grown used to having him around over the last week, in a way that was reminiscent of the old days when a drink never used to mean just a drink with the two of them.

However Zoe recalled that despite the longed-for presence of Nick Jordan by her side for the majority of the time, it had been the long lonely nights that had been most difficult for her to cope with. She had barely managed to see sleep before 3am on any day since she had seen Sam struggle into work after her assault, but it was that memory of seeing Dylan scoop up the battered woman accompanied by the thought of the same man's hands on her own bare skin a few days later as he sought out comfort in her embrace that swirled through her head repeatedly and prevented her from drifting off into a much welcome slumber. That each night she had to lay in the same bed he had followed her to hurt more than she had ever anticipated it would and it was the unexpected anguish she still felt on even thinking about the moment he had silently walked away and she had realised quite how much he still loved his wife that burned through her mind more and more with each passing moment in the darkness. Zoe had not even tried to explain this particular feeling to Nick, knowing full well that he was aware enough of her past indiscretions to be surprised she had allowed so much resentment to build up over what essentially was a one-night stand with a man she should have known better than to touch, but she was sure that no one could berate her harder than she was herself for being so incredibly foolish in the first place.

She was certain that she was actually feeling worse now one week on from her stupid mistake than she had been immediately after its occurrence and she doubted that this wasn't in some small part due to the subsequent withdrawal from any kind of life of the woman Dylan had been so adamant the event remained hidden from, despite the girl not actually knowing the true circumstances of what had happened between the two of them. In the last week she had watched with interest as the men in Sam's life had all traipsed around to her flat on their way to or from work, but from the little feedback she had received it was clear that the girl in question had steadfastly avoided all of them. Things had gotten so desperate the day before, with a bereft Clinical Lead, grouchy consultant, saddened doctor and concerned looking paramedic, never mind the impact on the other members of the team, that Zoe had approached Dixie with a view to the two of them tackling Sam themselves, knowing that the female paramedic also cared deeply about the troubled young woman and that she would also have known her address from dropping her home. She had therefore been incredibly stunned to see Sam standing in cubicles the very morning that this intervention was due to be staged, having agreed to meet Dixie outside the E.D. some two hours before work to give them the element of surprise when they approached the woman's apartment.

"You've escaped too?" a male voice asked from beside her dragging her from her thoughts and causing her to turn to face Tom who had just appeared beside her from the department, consternation written across her face at his words. "From the gossip I mean," he added for clarity and waved his small Tupperware container of lunch in her direction. "Eating in there would be an absolute nightmare today," he added with a hint of regret. "It seems Sam is yet again the hot topic of conversation and that is the last thing I want to listen to right now."

Zoe offered him the smallest smile in acknowledgement of her agreement with his words, but even as she did she could not help but check out the food he was holding as her own stomach practically did somersaults at the lack of subsistence it had received recently. However any thoughts she had at asking her colleague for a share of his lunch were quickly dismissed when she saw the too healthy for words salad the small box contained and instead she settled her thoughts on scrounging some chocolate from Linda later on, as the nurse didn't appear to eat any healthier at lunchtime than she did herself.

"She's all over the place isn't she?" Tom questioned, hovering uncomfortably in front of Zoe and she realised that he obviously felt the need to talk to someone about Dr Nicholls and her behaviour that day. "I mean, you know how crazy things got between me and her that night," he continued and she was sure that she could see his mind recalling the night he had spent at Sam's flat a mere week before. "But even so, I've never seen her like this. She was almost spiteful this morning," he elaborated before pausing. "It looked like she was losing it and now she is going through the motions treating patients, but you can see her heart isn't in it," he added earnestly. "I'm really worried about her Zoe."

She leant her head back against the wall and screwed her eyes up momentarily in thought. She remembered how incredibly quiet Tom had been that week, tormented by his feelings of guilt over allowing the situation between himself and Sam to escalate to the point of pushing Nick into assaulting him, despite the fact that he had actually been both the injured and the innocent party in that event. Zoe had not spent much time with Dr Kent before the last week, well no more than she would with any colleague and given how short a time he had been working at Holby City E.D. she had barely felt she knew him before this blew up in all of their faces. Nonetheless in recent days she had become aware that she had stuck up a friendship of sorts with the affable man and instantly came to appreciate quite how calming and positive an influence Sam would have found him to be on her when she had allowed him close. She had been pleased to see as well that Tom had kept Sam's counsel and refused to respond to requests for information about the truth behind his liaison with the girl, even to Zoe herself initially, and it had only been when she had confided in him that she was certain nothing untoward had occurred between them and her reasons for believing this that he had finally opened up. Therefore whilst the rest of the department may well have considered that the two of them had gossiped just as much as they all did about the recent turn of events, Zoe definitely considered her conversations with Dr Kent friendly exchanges of information rather than fuelling the fire of speculation that was prevalent in the E.D. about Dr Nicholls.

Zoe had also found her own growing fondness of Tom had given her enough insight into the mess that she had been able to start plastering over the huge cracks that had appeared in the younger doctor's working relationship with Nick Jordan since the unwarranted tirade of abuse the older man had unleashed on his unsuspecting member of staff. She was unsure quite when or how she had taken up the role of peacemaker in the team, but she recalled that on more than one occasion she had sought solace in Tess and Charlie's office and the three of them had made plans to heal the many and various rifts that had grown to exist within their team in recent weeks, in spite of the fact that the most major of those continued to be present around the soon to depart Sam.

"I have to say it wasn't a great start to the day," Zoe finally responded, opening her eyes once again and staring directly at Tom. "But I think even if the pressure of everything else hadn't taken its toll, this added issue with Mr Ellis would push anyone to snapping," she offered as way of an explanation for Sam's earlier erratic behaviour, even though she knew that her words were far too simplistic to comprehend the severity of the situation.

"I really thought I'd gotten somewhere with her last week," Tom interjected sadly. "After that crazy moment," he continued pointedly, in reference Zoe assumed to his make out session with the girl, "we had a long talk about her and Dylan, and the army thing. Then it all got complicated and she just shut me out, like I hadn't even been there in the first place."

Zoe could appreciate her colleague's confusion on that score, having felt similarly on more than one occasion at the hands of a certain Dr Keogh herself recently, but tried to consider what words of comfort she could offer the man stood in front of her who clearly needed some reassurance that the blame for the day's events did not lie at his door.

"To be honest Tom, I don't think it is anything you've done," Zoe responded, choosing her words carefully. "Sam was angry from the moment she got here this morning," she explained, remembering back to the earlier altercation in the staffroom briefing session. "And I don't think she has spoken more than a few words to anyone since Nick finished dealing with her in his office," she justified, recollecting vividly the sight of the disconnected woman rattling through patients in cubicles with such an unnerving focus that it almost appeared as if her life depended on it. "Besides," she continued, more to remind herself that for any other reason. "You saw Dylan walk out when she spoke to him and I'd say that whatever is going on with them, that is far more likely to be the cause of her attitude today than anything you've done," she added with as much comfort in her tone as she could muster.

Almost immediately as the words left her mouth Zoe became aware of the presence of a second person beside her and as she turned she was horrified to see that it was the very same Dr Nicholls she had been discussing only seconds earlier. She met her gaze for the briefest of seconds, before Sam averted her eyes and strode past her and Tom without so much as a backward glance. Zoe had felt herself redden instantaneously at the thought of being caught out gossiping by the subject of the conversation, but berated herself for feeling guilty at expressing concern over the welfare of a colleague to someone who shared an equally valid interest in the girl's state of mind.

"She shouldn't be out here," Tom stated as a matter of fact and Zoe followed his stare to where Sam had taken up residence on a bench within the peace garden, a place that seemed to have become a familiar security blanket for her in times of emotional distress.

"Should you?" Zoe shot back without thinking, referencing that Dr Kent too was considered in danger from Mr Ellis' all-encompassing threat.

"Touché," Tom retorted, finally meeting her gaze with a smile. "But at least I am aware enough of my surroundings to notice him approaching," he added, with the implication being that his female colleague was not able to act in an equivalent fashion and Zoe again brought to mind the fact that the woman in front of her did not actually seem to have an interest in her own fate nor appear to be frightened at the prospect of her safety being compromised in any way. As the two of them made their way over to where Sam had chosen to remain Zoe found it equally disconcerting though that even without that particular thought Sam looked every inch the loneliest girl in the world sitting with her knees pulled up in front of her on one of the seats.

"Should you be out here?" she questioned as they reached the girl and sat down on either side of her. "I mean with Mr Ellis and everything, didn't the police tell you to remain inside under their protection?" Zoe did not find herself particularly surprised at the complete lack of reaction from the woman at those words with the exception of a scowl, but she knew that somehow the two of them would need to engage her if they wanted to break down the barriers she appeared expert at putting up in front of herself.

"I'm sorry," Sam stated simply, her voice incredibly quiet in comparison to her earlier shouts in the staffroom.

"Sorry?" Tom queried with disbelief, meeting Zoe's eyes over where the sullen woman sat and shaking his head to indicate his distinct lack of knowledge as to what she was even talking about. "What have you got to be sorry about?"

"For using you," Sam answered without any emotion evident in her tone, surprising Zoe once again at how totally withdrawn she was from those around her whose interest in her well-being was so apparent. "I used you to make myself feel better and I should never have done that."

"You didn't," Tom countered, but was cut off before he could continue.

"I was there and I know what was going on inside my head," Sam responded dismissively, before cocking her head slightly in Zoe's own direction.

"And I'm sorry that you got dragged into everything and for the fact that you got hurt because of the mess Dylan and I created," she explained and Zoe looked back at her in astonishment.

"I don't know what you are talking about," she finally replied after gathering her thoughts.

"I know that he used you too," Sam started, causing a wave of horror to sweep through Dr Hanna as she realised from the girl's tone that it was abundantly clear she was well aware of the ramifications of her night with Dylan.

"How?" Zoe probed, trying not to meet Tom's eyes over Dr Nicholls' head for fear of him realising the extent of the issue that had occurred between herself and Dr Keogh the same night he had managed to successfully control his own urges and rebuff troubled Sam.

"Walls have ears Zoe," Sam replied sharply. "I was standing watching Dylan out in the department and I knew you and Jordan were close by," she explained, closing her eyes as she remembered the moment Zoe didn't doubt. "I heard you tell him that it was just a meaningless fumble and that my husband, the man who had just come close to convincing me we should get back together, the man who at that very moment was smiling at me like nothing was wrong, had spent the night with you purely to make himself feel better."

Zoe took a deep breath as she felt her face flush, both in embarrassment at her personal baggage being laid out so openly in front of the woman she had once considered a rival and also Tom, but additionally because she felt an overwhelming sense of sadness at the realisation of quite how close a reconciliation between the warring husband and wife had been before this had been totally wrecked by an ill-timed and ill thought out remark in such a public environment as their workplace.

"I just hope you have more sense that I did and that you walk away," Sam spoke with the fiery passion Zoe had missed from her in recent weeks and as the woman's eyes snapped open she found herself being drawn into the intensity of her gaze. "Because I never could and to have someone marry you out of duty and responsibility rather than love is a difficult thing to bear," she stated matter-of-factly, before rebuffing the attempt Zoe made to intervene in the conversation. "You weren't there to witness my marriage," Sam added honestly. "So please don't pass comment on something you know nothing about."

"Sam," she began in response. "I'm sorry you found out like you did, but you need to know that I am alright and things are okay between me and Dylan now. Don't worry about how I'm feeling," she continued by way of reassurance, but already realising that the girl had stopped listening to her a long time before. "I just want to get this whole situation sorted out."

"There is nothing to sort out," Sam answered shortly. "I'm leaving here in a week and I won't be coming back," she finished, standing up and striding purposefully back into the department before either Zoe or her companion on the bench could speak.

"Zoe," Tom said from his position across from her, but she stuck her hand up to silence him, knowing that the last thing she needed in that moment was his pity. In those last few exchanges with Sam she had recognised a great deal of Dylan in her, from the blatant and blunt way of expressing what had occurred to the complete dismissal of any suggestion of help being on offer. However the key issue for her in that moment had been how incredibly defenceless the young woman had looked as she had apologised for the behaviour of a man that she obviously still felt a complete sense of attachment to and responsibility for, despite the ascertain that they were long since over.

Zoe had already known in her heart that Dr Nicholls was unlikely to listen to reason, but that did not stop her from wanting to resolve the mess that she was at least partially responsible for creating. Unfortunately that knowledge of the situation had led her to realise that there was only one realistic conclusion to the current state of play; she would need to confront Dylan with the idea that Sam had come to learn the truth about what had occurred and hopefully force his hand to talk to his vulnerable wife, only this time be completely honest with her about where they all stood.

Sam Nicholls

Sam brought the coffee mug to her lips and took a gulp of the steaming liquid, ignoring the burning sensation she felt as the boiling water streamed down her throat. She looked up the clock and was grateful to see that there was less than an hour to go until the end of this hellishly long shift, knowing all too well that the familiar feeling of exhaustion that she had grown used to creeping up over her in recent weeks was weighing down heavily upon her mind. She could barely recall the last time she had slept for more than a fitful few hours and consequently felt horrendous, so she could only begin to imagine what a state she looked to her colleagues and patients. There was a definite sense of irony in the fact that she had just spent seven days basically sitting staring at the four walls of her front room, barely leaving the safety of her residence, but still felt beyond tired on her first day back at work, yet despite this Sam could not bring herself to find it at all amusing.

She knew that she had been working almost robotically since she arrived in the department that morning, moving from one patient to the next as if they were medical case studies to be solved rather than real people to be dealt with and whilst she remembered that this was how she had always coped out in Afghanistan she was certain that she had spent most of her NHS secondment learning to have a bedside manner and actually recognise the care and compassion required to get past the barriers patients put up. That she now appeared to have erected even more around herself than anyone who had crossed her path was not lost on her, neither was the fact that her clinical skills that day had been more akin to the cool, impersonal touch of her ex-husband than her own style.

Sam was well aware that she had actively changed how she behaved and acted around other people, but she couldn't even be sure anymore whether that was her just being defiant, a reaction to the palpable sense of fear that had flooded through her since learning Mr Ellis was out for revenge or just simple self-preservation from the emotional minefield that was the E.D. ever since her assault. In the brief moment she had allowed herself to care about the impact she was having she had felt a wave of devastation and regret wash over her on realising how incredibly rude and dismissive she had been to everyone so far that shift, never mind those who had actually made the effort to knock on her door in the last seven days, but no matter how much her mind insisted she should block it all out, her heart kept threatening to break every time she caught someone's eye.

She recalled that Mr Jordan had definitely been the worst person to face, purely because the man had offered her nothing but friendship and protection ever since she had arrived in town, but especially since he had come to learn of her impending departure. The look of complete bewilderment that had crossed his expression as she had ranted at him in his office would stay with her forever she was sure, as would the simple touch of his fingers on her chin as he had reached out to her emotionally and physically in what she could see was a desperate attempt to get her to open her heart to him again. Sam tried not to make the easy comparison between her boss and her own father, but found sadness in the truth that the Clinical Lead had shown her more love in the short time he had known her than the man whose responsibility that should have been her entire life. Her relationship with her father had never been the easiest, not even after her mum had died and they had been left alone together, but it hurt that he had never held out his hand to her the way Nick Jordan had done and it was killing her to push away the only real parent who was there for her, tears stinging the back of her eyes even as she thought of how she had walked out on her father figure earlier on that day as if he barely mattered to her at all.

She thought back to how little she had spoken to her colleagues ever since, except to request someone carry out a patient related task for her, but shutting them all out had been more difficult than she had first considered it would be and she regretted that moment of weakness the previous week when she had allowed herself to cross the line from colleagues to friends with her team. It had been disquieting enough to have Mr Jordan watching her every move with interest, but she would have been able to avoid him successfully enough if he had been her only concern. However almost immediately on her return to the E.D. from his office that morning she remembered that she had been pounced upon by the smiling face of Big Mac, questioning her about the promise she had made to go for a drink with him to discuss her army days. It was with remorse that she recalled snapping so harshly at him and Noel, but being prompted to think of her upcoming tour of duty and knowing full well that socialising with any of them was not even an option for her anymore had forced her to dismiss even the idea of such a welcome distraction from her current state out of hand. She recalled that it had been only minutes later that she encountered the usually welcome sight of Jeff and Dixie arriving in the corridor with their first patient of the day and whilst she had tried to remain professional with them, she had seen the silent wince they both gave when she failed to react to their usual banter. Hearing Jeff sadly wish that his "Princess" had a good first day back as they headed out for another shout had almost caused the tears that seemed ever present in her eyes to begin to fall, but she had managed to force them to subside by gripping the bars on the patient's bed and turning her head away so the two wouldn't see her cry as they departed.

She knew that by the time lunchtime had approached some hours since even Linda and Lenny had stopped spying on her for gossip and instead had taken to offer her a supportive hand with her cases, eyeing her with a mixture of concern and suspicion as they did so. She also brought to mind how much of a hard time she had given both Tess and Charlie as she berated them and their nursing team for failing to keep up with the speed of the tests, treatments and procedures she had been mechanically throwing at the patients unlucky enough to be landed with her. Sam was unsure quite why the senior nurses had not done more than just offer her a disapproving glare at her harsh tone with them, but they had continued to spend the rest of the day running around after her regardless.

Sam reflected how incredibly grateful she was to them for that, as it had only been keeping busy and distracted from the thoughts inside her head that had kept her on her feet for the rest of the shift. She had even taken on board Charlie's advice to take a few minutes out for a lunch break, despite yet again not being the slightest bit hungry, but had known almost immediately what a mistake that had been when the staffroom had hushed instantly on her entrance. She recalled how she had slammed the door before heading outside instead, trying to escape the suffocating presence of police and colleagues in the department, but walking straight into Zoe and Tom who had been animatedly discussing her and Dylan as she crashed into their conversation.

She knew that she had not been able to face them in that moment, unsure of what exactly she could say to take away the pain they would both have been in because of her own actions, but strangely she had felt comforted that they had followed her regardless. In the last few weeks she had been grateful to have someone like Tom by her side, as he had shown her nothing but kindness and respect even in the face of her anger, something that men in her life had never been pre-disposed to do and she was saddened that she had this need to throw him away like he didn't even matter to her when in reality he had been one of the few people to keep her upright since her assault.

Sam remembered the overwhelming need she had felt to apologise to both him and Zoe for the distressing set of circumstances her and Dylan had placed them in, but even she had not expected to be quite as honest with them both as to the reasons behind her and Dylan's one-sided marriage. Nonetheless she recalled feeling the need to be that frank with Zoe, even if just to warn her of the possible consequences of falling in love with Dylan if he was prepared to treat her that cruelly. She had spent most of the past months hating Zoe for her closeness to that same man, despite always wondering if the two of them could actually have made great friends. However the fact that she was now able to see Zoe as the injured party in the situation, yet witness the woman's primary concern still seem to be Sam's own welfare, made her respect for Dr Hanna increase ten-fold and her own feelings of unease rise by the same margins.

Her brief moment of sincerity in advising Zoe had drained the limited emotional resources she had kept back and when Sam had returned to the department she knew she had been all but sapped of any energy and enthusiasm that had remained for her job. She thought back to how her spirits had been lifted slightly by the appearance of Scarlett, possibly the one person she had strangely failed to shut out completely, who had advised her that Mrs Ellis had finally been admitted to a ward and that the overpowering police presence had been scaled back accordingly.

Even as she stood drinking her cooling coffee in the staffroom Sam wondered quite why Nurse Conway seemed to have broken through the hard outer shell she had been hiding behind, but as she reflected on vulnerable look of the girl she felt frightened by how easily her innocence could be taken away. She considered perhaps that maybe she recognised something of a younger version of herself in Scarlett, back in the days before she had met the man who changed her life forever and she silently prayed that Lloyd would somehow keep her safe when she left the following week.

Sam finished her drink and placed her cup on the side, before heading to the doorway eager to busy herself once again but reluctant to face the world. However as she opened the door and looked out into the chaos of the department she caught sight of a familiar figure making his way across the room, bold as brass and appearing without a care in the world. Within a second Sam was listening to the pounding of her heart loudly within her ears and her mouth went dry as fear coursed through her veins, yet without warning or conscious thought she found herself following him through the double doors and towards resus. As he opened the next set of doors, glancing back and seeing her behind him, Sam was able to spy Scarlett and Dylan around the beside of a patient over his shoulder and instinctively broke into a run, her feet speeding across the floor before she had time to think about any consequences.

As Mr Ellis reacted by heading back towards her in an effort to exit before he was caught, Sam dived towards him and tackled him to the ground, feeling the force of the impact on her own old injuries as they landed with a thud. The once hatred filled expression that had covered his face seconds before disappeared within moments, but Sam couldn't prevent herself from pummelling him repeatedly as she allowed all the rage and desperation that had built up inside of her since his attack ten days before to come flooding out as she finally let herself go.

She felt strong arms latch onto her own limbs and upper body as she was lifted from her position atop of her assailant and was physically restrained by Nick Jordan and Tom, despite her continuous attempts to lash out. It was only in that moment that she realised the awful screams she could hear were coming from her own mouth and as she heard voices from around her yelling for security and the police it hit her that there were hundreds of anxious, frightened eyes upon the scene she had created. Jeff, Big Mac and Lenny appeared from nowhere to pin Mr Ellis to the floor, before very quickly security and the police intervened and the man was placed under arrest for the attempted murder of his wife before being forcibly removed from her view. Sam caught sight of the senior policewoman's glare in their direction as he was taken away and she finally realised quite how much trouble she could be in for her rash actions.

She looked up to see Dylan standing expressionless at the doorway to resus, with a frightened Scarlett standing behind him and she struggled once again against the grasp the two men had on her upper arms. She watched with interest as her husband gestured for them to release her from their restraint before he moved quickly to bundle her back into the staffroom. His intervention had been as unwelcome as it had been unexpected, as from Sam's memory she could not recall a time since they had been together when he had ever publicly stepped in to calm her down, preferring instead to only acknowledge their understanding in private moments.

"Do you want to get yourself fired?" Dylan asked bitterly as he let her go once the door was firmly closed behind them and they were alone in the room. Sam pointedly chose to ignore that remark, choosing instead to open her locker and frantically start removing her possessions. She knew full well that following her violent outburst she would not be working out the remaining half hour of this shift, considering it quite likely that she would be lucky to be allowed to report in on any of her last few days either unless Mr Jordan found a way of bypassing the hospital disciplinary procedure. Sam's need to get as far away from the E.D. pressed down on her so hard she could barely focus on anything around her, but she was aware of the unspeaking presence of her husband and his continuing focus on her.

"I know you're scared Samantha," he began from behind her. "Understandably so I grant you, but you are a good doctor and you do not need to throw that all away over that man or anyone else for that matter," he continued, in a statement that had so much emotional weight behind it that she almost broke.

"I know," she responded simply, ceasing her rummaging in the open locker.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself," Dylan answered sadly, as if remembering all those moments of pain in the past.

"I didn't want to do anything," Sam argued, turning around to face him and finally finding her voice. "I never wanted to divorce you. I never wanted to go back to the army. You know that," she explained sharply. "I still love you and when we talked last week you gave me the tiniest bit of hope that things might one day be alright and that you might just forgive me for throwing it all away," she clarified. "I came out of that room and just for a few minutes I thought that I was making a mistake in leaving you, but then it all got snatched away. I can't trust you anymore Dylan and if you forget everything else that is going on for a minute, you know why that matters to me."

"Sam, just listen to me," her husband interjected, but she shook her head in response.

"No," she replied sadly. "Because you can't take this away Dylan," she justified, her voice cracking with emotion in spite of her wish to remain coherent enough to say what was on her mind. "You can't get inside my head and make it stop." The tears that had been threatening to fall all shift finally started to escape from her eyes and she made no move to wipe them away, instead allowing Dylan to draw her into an embrace. Sam allowed herself to bend into his shape for a fleeting moment, gaining comfort from his warm and secure arms, before shrugging him off almost as quickly.

"You lied to me," she hissed as she stepped back. "You lied to me and you can't take that back." Sam recognised the distraught expression on Dylan's face from that day he had sat beside her after hearing the truth so many years before and it hurt her so much to see him finally ready to discuss how off track things had gone at the very point in time that all she could do was bring herself to shoot him down.

She was distracted by movement from behind her husband as the staffroom door opened and Nick Jordan walked in, his features filled with nervous trepidation. Sam grabbed at the coat and bag in her locker before slamming it closed and defiantly squaring up to the two men who she hated to see in such distress.

"I resign," she stated simply, but with the weight of the world lying behind the words. "I resign."

Sam headed for the exit to the room and pushed past them both so fast that neither had a chance to react, before heading out towards the main entrance to the department as quickly as she could manage with the tears still streaming down her cheeks. She heard shouts from Tom and Scarlett from behind her, but failed to stop or acknowledge their concern. As she reached the doorway she literally ran straight into Dixie and Jeff, almost sending them both flying, but instead somehow found herself caught in the male paramedics grasp before being bundled into him, as he brought his arms around her.

"Hey princess, it's alright," he whispered soothingly into her hair and she found herself sobbing into his uniformed shoulder as the enormity of the events of the past few minutes swept over her like a tidal wave. There was a distinct reassurance at being locked into the safe grip of someone who could protect her, but just like four years before when Dylan had held her similarly she wondered if she would ever stop running away from feeling defenceless. As a child she had always been afraid of being physically hurt, but from the moment that line had been crossed she had been well aware that it was the emotional scars that took time to heal and whilst she was no longer fearful of pain, she was terrified of being vulnerable to harm.

Thank you for reading and if you liked it, please review it and let me know - reviews make me very happy!

The next part should be up over the weekend (fingers crossed). Callie x