Right, first of all my apologies for the significant delays in updating my current fics. Unfortunately real life and a full time job seems to get in the way, but I've finally knuckled down and decided to get writing. This story has just a couple more updates to go so I am going to prioritise finishing this before I start working on updating For Better, For Worse - so please just bear with me for a little while longer on that one.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter but especially Helen, as that particular review meant a lot to me.

Also thank you to Anny and Ficmouse for spending far too many nights debating our stories and Casualty with me well past what should be considered an acceptable bedtime and to Meggi, for just being so very lovely.

So here we go, the next update. Hope you enjoy.

To look out for you

The definition of honour

Honour: noun; high respect, great esteem, something regarded as a rare opportunity and bringing pride and pleasure, a privilege

Sam Nicholls

Sam found herself smiling in vague amusement at the topic of conversation around the table as she leant back in the comfortable leather couch and surveyed the antics of those in her vicinity. She had noted with some surprise on her arrival several hours earlier quite how full the pub had been, having not recalled anyone previously mentioning it was such a hot spot, only to discover that the overwhelming majority of those present had turned out to specifically celebrate her now imminent departure date. In those first few moments Sam recalled that she had found herself uncertain how to deal with quite such a significant amount of attention, especially when it appeared that the guest list had included staff from other E.D. shifts and colleagues whose path she crossed purely to handover patients who were being admitted to wards. Yet there had been the smallest part of her that had been instantly transported back to her slightly more hedonistic days as a medical student, back when spending evenings with hundreds of people she barely knew in various student union bars had been the activity of choice to get her through the difficult times.

Sam knew that despite her outward display of confidence when she walked in through the pub doors with Tom that she had briefly stepped backwards on feeling the wave of noise that came from her cheering hospital compatriots but as his hand had apparently instinctively come to rest on the small of her back she had found herself being propelled through the crowd to the prized circle of decent seating in the corner of the room where she had resided almost continuously since. She reflected that perhaps to those outside of the E.D. she may have seemed anti-social in not circulating but not only had she never been one for pointless small talk with people she barely knew, given the events of the past few weeks she had not wanted to be subject to interrogation from people who had heard half the story and felt they had the right to pry.

It had been with interest that she had watched Lenny practically gag Linda on numerous occasions thus far as the nurse had allowed her gentle probing to stray closer to dangerous territory and Sam could only begin to imagine how what had occurred mere days previously had morphed into a wild tale of a distraught doctor rugby tackling an abusive husband to the ground and beating him senseless, a story that was no doubt doing the rounds of every ward at the hospital if the gossip in each department had gotten their way. She couldn't actually be sure though whether what concerned her more was that she was likely to be being openly discussed by most people in attendance, which was probably for a substantial number of them possibly the main reason for them being at her party at all, or that what they were undoubtedly saying was close enough to the truth to make her have to question quite why she had allowed things to get so drastically out of control in the first place.

Sam physically shook that thought out of her head and made the decision to instead focus on what so far had been an excellent party, making eye contact with Jeff across the table as she did so and returning his worried gaze with a smile. She thought back to moments after her arrival when her favourite paramedics had first caught up with her and how Jeff had kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear as he did so that it was good to see his princess out once more. He had subsequently managed to surprise her by clasping his hands over her eyes, which she was aware should have frightened her more than it did yet somehow she had felt safe with him so close by her side. On being spun around twice by him and Dixie Sam recalled warning them that she felt vaguely sick before finding her eyes uncovered and coming face to face with a huge banner that dictated "We'll miss you Sam" in such a way that brought tears to her eyes.

Once more she found herself glancing back up at the brightly coloured farewell that was strung up across the wall behind where they were seated and considered that the photographs of herself that appeared to have been haphazardly taped to the slightly lopsided homemade hanging must have been sourced from someone, as they included pictures of her in her full army uniform and one she felt certain had been taken on her honeymoon given the background surroundings. It bemused her greatly that despite his adamant rejection of an invitation to the event itself, Dylan must have had at least minimal input into arrangements. She stole a brief squint back towards the table and instantly cursed herself for not recognising earlier on that it could only have been her husband that chose some of the foodstuffs present, given that she knew categorically no one else was actually aware of her fondness for strawberry laces, Rolos and Hershey's kisses, which always reminded her of the weekend she and her mum had spent in New York City back before her mother's illness had taken over their lives.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Dixie's voice came from beside her and Sam looked around to see the friendly face of a woman she had long since come to trust.

"I don't think they are worth that much," she joked in response, before gesturing towards the table. "Dylan?" she questioned with what she identified as hope in her tone.

"Apparently so," the female replied knowingly. "I don't think he was that keen on the idea of the actual party but he has been quite helpful in organising it from what Tom has said," she continued. "According to my sources the two of them appear to work quite well together when they aren't bickering over you," she added quickly as they were interrupted by the arrival of Big Mac and Noel back at the table with a fresh round of drinks.

Sam watched the playful banter between her colleagues, especially the Collier's, as the selection of alcoholic beverages was quickly dispatched to the relevant waiting drinker. She reflected that after her behaviour towards the paramedics when she had fled their ambulance earlier in the week and left them standing worried on the other side of her hastily locked and bolted door she would not have been surprised if they were no longer on speaking terms with her. However to her astonishment they had been an incredible distraction, given that she had stayed true to her word and not returned to work prior to her official leaving date. On those first few days following her revelations and complete breakdown Sam had known she had been feeling at her most vulnerable but the unexpected arrival of Jeff and Dixie on her doorstep whilst on their coffee break had been a welcome one in spite of her still being attired in pyjamas and with her hair bedraggled from yet another disrupted night's sleep. Though this visit had been the first of many, it had actually been their actions the previous day when they had come close to forcibly removing her from the flat and had sneakily whisked her off to ride shotgun in the ambulance with them for a shift that had brought a beaming grin to her face.

Sam had known that she was not technically suspended, having convinced Nick to fight this the best he could on her behalf in order to prevent there being any barriers to her return to an army role but from what he had fed back to her the Trust had instructed that she was not to return to work pending her secondment ending, with an implication being that she should not set foot on hospital property other than to collect her possessions, which in itself was a task that she had asked Scarlett to complete on her behalf before she had met the girl for coffee earlier that day. However in spite of her ban Sam recalled spending a great shift out with the paramedics, enjoying their easy going banter and chipper attitude whilst also getting to reminisce about her very first day in Holby so many months beforehand. On their return to the E.D. on each occasion with a new patient she had helped with the handover whilst in the back of the ambulance, much to the amusement of the various doctors and nurses who had crossed her path but whilst she had not seen Nick directly, it had been apparent to her from comments made that he was aware of her actions but had chosen not to notice officially. Sam warmly recalled that although people like Tess and Charlie usually did things by the book when it came to staffing issues, even they had raised a smile in her direction on seeing her in the back of the ambulance with Tess patting her reassuringly on the arm and informing her that she had been missed.

"Isn't that right Sam?" queried Big Mac, causing Sam to glance up at the sound of her name in time to see him wink in her direction.

"Isn't what right?" she questioned in response, having completely missed the topic that was being discussed due to the constant stream of thought that had been barrelling through her head until that point.

"That when the forces are out on active duty you have to sleep outdoors," Big Mac stated categorically in her direction with the straightest of expressions on his face. "No tents, no beds, no bathrooms. Service personnel don't need any of those comforts, you have to be tough to get through it," he added with a conspiratorial glance sideways, which prompted her to turn her head to see Noel staring at her in open-mouthed astonishment at the prospect.

"That's absolutely right," Sam retorted instantly, making a determined effort to keep an innocent poker face as she spoke. "When I was on my last tour we didn't even have a kitchen area so we could only eat raw food and as for the toilet arrangements, well I won't even go there," she followed up, eliciting a gasp from the receptionist as he heard her response.

"Really?" he asked intently, his eyes so wide that Sam felt she could almost see him processing the implications of the information he had just received. She glanced back towards Big Mac where she caught the older man going red in the face and struggling to contain himself, before she joined him in a simultaneous burst of laughter as she heard Charlie telling her colleague that they may well have been pulling his leg. Sam had no clue quite how the conversation had come around to telling tall tales about Afghanistan and the war but on catching the slightly confused expression on Noel's face she was giggling regardless.

"See you won't get that high level of conversation where you're going," Jeff chipped in with a smile.

"No, where I'm going I'll get ribbed a lot worse than that, believe me," she answered authoritatively with a grin, reaching out to pat Noel's knee in apology as she did so. "However I wasn't joking about the toilet situation," she added mischievously but with an awful memory springing to mind. "I mean, you try living on a base with a few thousand men. Just imagine how horrendous the toilets could get after a while and even I wouldn't answer back once I knew toilet cleaning duty was one of the optional punishments from my CO," she concluded, recognising that the disgusted look on Noel's face was most likely matched by her own facial expression as she saw the shadow of someone move behind her and Tom clambered over the back of the sofa, landing fairly clumsily on the cushion beside her with little warning.

"What are you chattering about?" he asked, his eyes wide and bright enough for Sam to establish that his unseemly entrance had been brought about at least in part by the influence of a high blood alcohol level in his system. "Are you going to be boring and sit here all night or are you coming to dance?"

"Dance?" Sam replied in horror as Tom reached out his hand as if to drag her to her feet. "I don't dance, I never dance," she continued persistently.

"What never?" he countered incredulously. "Not even at your own wedding?"

"That would surely have implied that Dylan liked to dance and I can't see that being the case, can you?" Sam reasoned, hearing a stifled chuckle from Jeff and Dixie as she did so. "Besides it was enough of a big deal for us to have the wedding in public, never mind putting ourselves through the humiliation of the whole first dance debacle," she added, remembering instantly what activities they had found to amuse themselves with instead and feeling her face flush with the memory.

"I'm sure I can get you up and dancing before the night is over," Tom insisted with a degree of certainty that Sam found alarming. "I mean you were a child who grew up in the nineties, like me," he added, sounding proud of himself for having calculated this and causing her to smile in spite of herself at how adorable her friend was when he had crossed the line towards tipsy. "The nineties was the decade of girl power and dance routines, I mean didn't every girl know the routine to Steps songs or the words to the Spice Girls?" he continued confidently. "I'm sure if I get something cheesy on later you'll be up dancing with us. I mean who didn't dance to the Macarena and Saturday Night at a holiday camp right?"

"I think that says a lot more about you than her mate," Jeff broke in from across the table with amusement spread across his face at the consternation evident in Dr Kent's eyes. Sam studied Tom with interest as he fell into a thoughtful expression with the reality of his admittance to enjoying bad nineties music apparently sinking in. She recalled that he had arrived on her doorstep the day after her breakdown in the department, and subsequently his arms outside, with a jar of strong coffee in his hands and a concerned look plastered across his face. He had lightened the mood considerably by referencing that the last time he had been present in her flat had been when she had invited him in for coffee, so this time had brought his own to ensure there was no misunderstandings.

She thought back to how she had felt on seeing him standing there and remembered the moment she had stepped forward to give him the briefest of hugs, before removing the coffee from his hands and giving him the opportunity to follow her inside to talk. They had slipped into the easy conversation that seemed to characterise the friendship she had with him, even given all that had occurred both between them and in their vicinity over the past weeks, yet Sam had felt that she at least owed him even the attempt of an explanation of her behaviour over the time they had grown closer, if only to satisfy her own need to apologise for her erratic attitude towards him.

Sam reflected back to how she had started to speak but had been cut off almost immediately by a man who had shown her nothing but kindness. His utterance that although he would always be prepared to be her shoulder to cry on, he had no necessity to know the details unless she chose to disclose them had stunned her and she had not realised she had watered up until Tom himself reached out to wipe away a stray tear that had rolled down her cheek. She appreciated his unquestioning attitude immensely in that whilst she had been willing to provide him with a potted history of recent and more historic events, this would have opened her up further to feeling vulnerable in front of those around her. That he was quite willing to remain in the dark whilst she got her head together and just act as the supportive friend he had always been felt quite selfless to her, especially as she had heard from Scarlett subsequently that he had taken her trauma quite badly to the point of ending up sobbing over a young barmaid about her the night before he had been round to hers.

Tom had stayed for several hours that day and had twisted her arm to get agreement on the leaving party, something which she was grateful to him for co-opting her into now that it was upon her. He had stuck to his word that there would be drinks before she departed and Sam couldn't help but consider that whilst he was not the right man for her, one day some woman was going to be lucky to have him as her husband and she made a mental note to tell him of this thought when he was slightly more sober. She recalled that in one of their conversations Tom had made it clear to her that he was not a fan of commitment and how it had fascinated him that she must have married so very young, a talking point that had culminated in her confessing that she had actually separated from Dylan due to her having owned up to cheating on him, a revelation that had drawn a deep intake of breath and raised eyebrows from her friend. She had acknowledged that even she knew it didn't sound much like her but had countered that sometimes people do irrational things, which he had reluctantly accepted as being the case.

Sam heard the music pick up once more and turned in her seat to cast her gaze in the direction of the area that had been commandeered as a dance floor for the evening. The earlier crowds had thinned out considerably since her arrival with Sam contemplating that the overwhelming majority of people had been supportive and accepting of her, hospital gossip notwithstanding and that this had meant that despite the nosiness of the minority she had not felt the need to hide and pretend everything was perfectly fine, relaxing instead to concentrate on just being herself and having a good time with her colleagues.

The only person who had really pried Sam reflected had been Linda and since her earlier tactless comments she had been removed to be surgically attached to Lenny's side on the dance floor where Sam was now able to witness them doing what she could only describe as their own unique interpretation of a song she vaguely identified as being current in the charts. She was amused that in spite of them dancing separately they appeared to have a desire to reach out to grab at each other with every second move, in a manner which made them appear as one fluid creature rather than two individual beings. As she turned further in her seat she also spied Scarlett and Lloyd standing slightly off from centre of the floor but talking intensely rather than dancing themselves. From Lloyd's facial expression it was clear to Sam that he was disdainful of his colleagues attempts at following the rhythm of this particular song but Scarlett appeared more than happy to be chatting with him and as she watched she saw the young nurse reach her hand down to slip it into his, biting her lip nervously as she did so.

Sam found her attention being snatched away from the rather sweet scene she was watching unfold in front of her by the arrival of first Tess, then swiftly behind her both Zoe and Nick, all three of whom had come straight from a late budget meeting. Whilst she was aware that none of them had been keen to attend this, especially as it resulted in them missing the earlier part of the party, she did not begrudge them their lateness, especially as she was aware her replacement was an agenda item in terms of a budget commitment that needed to be made.

Sam raised her arm and waved in the direction of her arriving colleagues, meeting their gaze and eliciting smiles from all three in response. She watched as Nick gestured to the two women to give him their drinks order before they approached the table and he the bar and as she stood up to greet the newcomers Sam found herself staring over Zoe's shoulder to the man who had become such an important part of her life in recent weeks. In the preceding days she had watched him come to accept her upcoming departure, despite knowing that he could have chosen to prevent it if he had wished to do so, but rather than focus on this he had instead discussed with her the possibility of recruiting only a temporary replacement to give her the opportunity to return at the end of her tour of duty.

Although Sam knew she had considered this option as a possibility, Jordan actually vocalising it as an option that both he, Zoe and the Trust were open to had thrown her more than she had cared to admit. She had long since accepted that without a resolution to her situation with Dylan a return to Holby was not an option, as she was not prepared to put him through watching her move on with her life when it was undoubtedly not what either of them wanted but she also had come to realise that to walk away from Dylan and Holby when actually both appeared to want her to stay would be utterly mad.

She settled herself back down into the chair and waited for Nick to join the group, reflecting as she did that in her role as a seconded army medic she must have been held in reasonably high professional esteem to be expected to return to this hospital. However as the man who had acted as so much more than a boss to her since her arrival in Holby finally joined them and passed drinks out to his fellow recent entrants she found herself understanding that whilst her employment status was important to her, it was that she was privileged enough to have this man appear to view her as a daughter that personally felt like the most incredible honour.

Nick Jordan

Nick drained the remainder of his glass and momentarily wished he had asked the barmaid for the entire bottle to get him through the rest of the evening. He was fully prepared to accept that Tom had done an exceptional job of getting this party off the ground in such a short space of time, although most of the staff would never have taken much persuading to go out for drinks regardless and most definitely not where this particular night was in honour of a colleague as popular as Sam. However it was not the actual party that was causing him difficulty, more that its arrival had crystallised for him that Dr Nicholls' departure was now so imminent that he could only describe it as unavoidable.

He glanced over to where the young woman concerned was busy chattering animatedly away with the group seated around a table beside him and reflected that she never failed to surprise him with her determination. Her show of vulnerability a few days previously had been tinged with him recognising within her the immense strength of character it must have taken for her to survive the events of the past and whilst he knew with certainty that she had not escaped unscathed, that she could smile and relax in the company of people he believed she had come to accept as friends was beyond anything he could comprehend.

It was with interest that he had spent the duration of the party so far observing the girl and how his team interacted with her, finding it fascinating that whilst the likes of Tom and Scarlett appeared to be able to see past the events of the last few weeks and treat her purely as a friend, those in a similar position to he were apparently struggling with the concept of her managing to cope when she left them in a matter of forty-eight hours. Nick recalled the hushed discussion he had witnessed between Dixie and Jeff at the bar when it had become clear to him that the female paramedic was having difficulty in keeping her composure and subsequently it had seemed to him that the two of them were only managing to keep their emotions in check by resorting to the playful banter that was characteristic of how they dealt with horrors they witnessed out in the field on a daily basis. He thought back to his discovery that they had spent the previous day driving Sam around, much like she had wangled from them on her very first shift, even in spite of her being absent from work and whilst he knew he should have been concerned by this act of defiance he had found himself waiting for updates from Dr Hanna as to how much happier Dr Nicholls had looked to be back stuck into things with the paramedics, even if only in an unofficial capacity.

"I thought you might need this," Zoe stated from beside him as she slipped the bottle of whiskey onto the table and manoeuvred herself skilfully onto the stool next to his own balancing a large glass of wine in one hand and an open bottle of red in the other before placing both on the table. "I'll get a cab with you later," she added as an afterthought, greeting his raised eyebrows at her statement with her own at the possibility of the innuendo she had just hinted towards. "It's going to be hard to watch her leave, isn't it?" she continued after a pause, causing Nick to study how she was now staring at the younger doctor intently. "Especially as they still haven't sorted things out," she concluded, turning to face him with a sadness in her eyes that he recognised instantly.

"Believe me I've tried to get her to talk to him," Nick responded softly. "And I know you've spoken to Dylan," he acknowledged before Zoe had the chance to interrupt him. "But I guess this is just something they have to work out for themselves. I thought after the other day we would have made some progress," he added, remembering the moment he and Zoe had charged into Sam's room on hearing her screaming to find her bundled up in her quilt with Dylan practically pinning her into his arms as she tried to fight him off. Nick recalled that the tension caused by his displeasure towards the other man on finding Sam in such a distressed state had been palpable, especially given the only reason he had agreed to leave them alone in the first place had been because of Dr Keogh's reassurances that he just needed to talk to his wife. However it had been Zoe who had reacted first in reaching the younger woman and holding her as she froze, apparently lost in her own world for quite some time. The frank exchange of views between himself and Dylan in the kitchen in the immediate aftermath had been both heated but necessary and by the time they had returned a few minutes later Sam had calmed enough to be drifting off into sleep, exhausted still from the intensity of the day. Nick thought back to how Zoe had stood to greet them, squeezing Dylan's arm and giving him permission to stay with his wife as she slept before she had forced Nick himself to exit the room with her and subsequently spent the remainder of the night asleep on the sofa beside him with her legs tucked up underneath her as she relaxed into his chest.

"You look like the kind of woman who likes to dance," Tom called as he removed himself from his seat beside Sam with the girl hot on his heels and purposefully made his way towards Zoe. Nick found himself laughing at the alarmed expression that crossed his ex's face as Dr Hanna was dragged from her stool and off into the centre of the floor to dance with her younger colleague despite her noisy protestations to the contrary.

"He's been trying to convince someone to dance with him all night," Sam joked as she reached Nick's table and slipped into the seat that until moments previously had been occupied by Zoe and the two of them slipped into a comfortable silence as they both watched the hysterical scene of their colleague trying to retain her dignity as Tom swung her about all over the place. Nick scanned the remainder of the room as he poured himself another glass of whiskey and drained it, his eyes falling upon the various groups of staff who were congregated in different areas of the pub. He spied Big Mac and Noel attempting unsuccessfully to impress a few girls by the bar, whilst the Colliers', Tess and Charlie chatted over drinks in the corner and then turned to see Lenny being dragged back up to dance by an apparently drunkenly amorous Linda, given where her hands appeared to be roaming which was a sight that almost caused Nick to choke on the liquid he had just swallowed. He followed Sam's gaze back towards the table she had come from and found himself watching as Lloyd leant forward to kiss Scarlett, eliciting both a smile from the nurse herself and his own companion at the public nature of this declaration. Nick reflected that whilst he had realised the entire department would miss Sam, he had witnessed that certain individuals had grown far closer to her than others and made a mental note to ask Charlie to keep a special eye on the youngest member of the team after Dr Nicholls' departure.

"Dylan isn't coming you know," Sam spoke reticently, her eyes breaking away from the happy scene in front of them. "He decided it would be best if he just stayed away," she added with some uncertainty evident in her tone.

"This isn't easy for him you know," Nick countered sympathetically. "After everything that happened the other day I don't think it unreasonable for him to find this all quite difficult."

"I know," Sam answered simply, looking down at her hands which Nick noticed were clasped together tightly on the table. "He wants to know where he stands but it isn't that simple is it?" she questioned, her big blue eyes gazing up at him brimming with emotion.

"Listen," he finally responded after a pause, putting down his glass and reaching out to take her hands in his own, pulling her round to face him. "I wish I had seen what was coming and that I could have stopped you from going through hell the past few weeks, but I couldn't," he explained, still regretful that he had not spotted the full extent of Sam's emotional problems until she had reached crisis point and knowing that if she had actually gone through with her attempted suicide he would never have been able to forgive himself for as long as he lived for his failure to protect her. "I also wish I could stand here and tell you I've suspended you so that the army would refuse to whisk you off to a warzone where I can't guarantee you'll be safe," he added with a crack in his voice as he reluctantly spoke those words aloud. "I could have made it difficult for you, we both know that but I also know that I would just have made it worse for you and I would never want to do that," he elaborated. "If I could stop you from leaving and have you stay here in Holby with us all forever then I would, but I know that won't make you happy and if I'm honest that is all I want for you," he concluded.

"I know," Sam responded instantly, chewing on her lip and looking downwards. "And you will never know quite how much you've done for me. Thank you just doesn't seem enough."

"You don't need to thank me Sam," Nick replied quietly, releasing her hands and reaching out to push her chin back upwards so he could once again see her face. "When you confided in me the other day I was so angry and horrified, but most of all I felt helpless that there was nothing I could do to help you. I don't know where you found the strength from to relive everything with me that night but you gave me this sense that I was privileged that you felt able to trust me enough to let me in," he justified earnestly, watching her reaction closely as he spoke. He was more than capable now of reading the vulnerability in her eyes, even though Sam seemed to have made attempting to hide any such weakness an art form she had been forced to become scarily skilful at. "All I can hope is that before you go, you sort things out with Dylan and whatever it is you are keeping from him you give him the same degree of faith you put in me that he will be able to deal with it."

"How?" Sam started to question, as if puzzled as to how Nick could know that she was hiding something further from her husband.

"You and I are more alike that you know," Nick countered with a wry smile. "You've obviously got something on your mind and you of all people know that you can't run away from your problems. Unless you are intending on never speaking to him again I doubt whatever this is will be resolved whilst you are away," he continued slowly, feeling very much as if he was giving fatherly advice as he did so. "And I am pretty certain I'm not the only one who cares for you unconditionally," he finished, noticing Sam blush slightly as he did.

"When you join the army you become part of a unit, something akin to family I guess," Sam explained. "There is this sense of belonging to them that I always thought you just didn't get with anything else, mainly because you have to trust that your men have your back at all times," she continued. "After my mum's funeral my father told me that he had never felt he belonged with us, not really, and even though he is no longer on active service, his entire life is still dominated by the army."

"But yours isn't?" Nick queried hopefully, wondering if the young woman was reconsidering her decision to depart.

"No," she answered slowly, as a look of realisation crossed her face. "Because I guess these days I know that it is possible to belong somewhere other than with them. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my decision to go back to Afghanistan but I know I don't want to do this forever," she added hastily. "I guess what I am saying is that I would quite like to come back home afterwards and to be able to say that I am back for good."

"We do something akin to family here in Holby too," Nick interjected. "Believe me, there have been times when all I have wanted to do was to escape this place but actually there is something about being here that does feel like being home," he elaborated. "And whilst we're being truthful here, there is nothing I would like more than to have you come back home to our slightly odd little family unit when you return," he concluded, gesturing to their colleagues and eliciting a beaming smile from his young doctor in response before he witnessed that expression drop from her face incredibly quickly.

"Real family was never a strong point for me. My parents never had the best marriage," Sam stated unexpectedly in a rush, catching Nick off guard somewhat. "My mum had her problems, even before she got sick," she continued shyly. "When I was really small I remember us going on holidays and doing all the things normal families did, but then my father got called away to Iraq, the Balkans, Northern Ireland and Kosovo and he was barely there," she confessed as if disclosing a shameful family secret. "He would always be away for a lot longer than everyone else's dad and I used to think I'd done something naughty that meant he didn't want to come home," she continued slowly with a look in her eyes that prompted Nick to consider quite how much damage the men in her life had done to this girl over the years. "I was a teenager before I realised that he considered us a burden but by then I was used to dealing with mum and her behaviour on my own anyway. I don't know if I was more angry at him for staying away because he couldn't cope or for marrying her in the first place knowing that one day it was inevitable he would end up leaving," she blurted out before reaching for Zoe's half full wine glass and gulping down the liquid. "After she died it was like he could barely bring himself to acknowledge my existence. I'd hear he was back in the country and I'd get in touch to let him know what was happening in my life and then the moment there was something significant, he'd be gone back to Iraq or Afghanistan," she added dejectedly. "He missed my graduation so he never saw me come top of my class; he never walked me down the aisle or danced with me at my wedding either."

"You wanted something different for yourself after your mum died, didn't you?" Nick questioned, removing the wine bottle from her reach before she could drink any further. "And you found yourself wondering if you were becoming the same person for Dylan as your mum was to your dad?" he continued carefully and received a nod in response. "Then you need to tell him that, because if nothing else he at least deserves an explanation doesn't he?"

"How did you get to be so wise eh?" Sam replied with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "You would make a great dad you know, did you ever consider having kids?" she questioned before her eyes filled with alarm. "Sorry, you don't have to answer that," she added hastily.

"It's fine Sam," Nick responded. "My ex-wife and I, well children didn't happen for us," he recalled remembering back to the difficulties that outcome had caused between him and Karen all those years before. "And since then, it never really worked out with anyone else like that," he added, his mind travelling back to his relationship with Zoe and how what had happened between them had torn them apart so viciously for a while. "If I had been lucky enough to have a child, I'd like to think she would have grown up like you," he added with a grin. "I mean, as I said before we're more alike that you might think and I would have been proud to have someone like you as my daughter," he explained. "So if ever you and Dylan get your acts together and decide to have children, please keep me in mind to fill a grandfather role if you happen to have a vacancy."

"I doubt that is going to happen anytime soon," Sam retorted. "We always said we would never even discuss having children until I resigned my commission and then we didn't even make it that far anyway. However I will keep you in mind for grandfatherly duties if that situation ever arises," she elaborated for him. "In the meantime though, I do happen to have a parental vacancy right now so if you want to continue to take the "Daddy Nick" role you've been filling very successfully the past few months that would be fine by me," she concluded, leaving him stunned and speechless that she had just vocalised the place he had been craving to take in her life since he had first gotten to really know the girl.

Nick found himself settling back into a comfortable silence with the woman who seemed to have adopted him as her dad with no hesitation and glanced back towards the dance floor where he found his team dealing with a change in gear of music down to a slower song. The hilarity of watching Zoe coaxing Tom into behaving himself as they danced and Big Mac and Noel standing awkwardly with each other, was counterbalanced perfectly by the dancing partnerships of Tess and Charlie, Jeff and Dixie, Scarlett and Lloyd and finally Linda and Lenny, albeit with Linda apparently half asleep on her partner's shoulder.

Nick glanced back in the direction of Sam before pushing his stool back, wincing slightly at the scraping noise as the feet dragged across the floor before he walked around and gave the young doctor who had been seated beside him no choice but to join him on the dance floor in spite of her horrified facial expression. However as he felt her settle into his arms as they swayed together on the floor he felt her relax into the music and found himself pressing a kiss onto her forehead as his heart swelled with pride at the absolute honour of dancing with his daughter, a brave and strong young woman who was going off to serve her country and put to bed some of her own demons at the same time.

Thank you so much for reading and if you would leave me a review, this would make me so very happy!

I'm already working on the next update, so fingers crossed it will be up this week. Callie x