This is based off the season 14 episode; The Brick Gulch Chronicles.
Another day, another glorious day on the Red team. Sarge walk out of his brick built base to smell the lovely outside air.
"Mm. What a great day!" Sarge exclaims. He then takes notice that the rest of his team is absent. "Grrh. That lazy Grif." He grumbles before walking back inside.
From the outside a loud "Owwww!" Could be heard followed by an "I'm up!"
"Grif, Simmons! Stop sleeping of and get to work!" Sarge exclaims.
"Sleeping in? Its seven in the morning!" Grif exclaims.
"Thats when people usually wake up, fatass." Simmons retorts. "Sorry sir. I think we're just tired after the event of your birthday."
"Yeah. That was a fine day." Sarge reminisces.
"Whats on the agenda for today, sir?" Simmons asks.
"I was thinking we go searching for the rest of Lopez." Sarge explains. "His body, I mean. Hard for him to get any maintenance work done around here without any hands."
"What... did happen to his body anyway?" Grif asks.
"Dunno, just got lost. Also dunno why the head was spared from that same fate." Sarge says. "Anyway, lets get to searching!"
"Ah, I did it!" They hear a loud voice beside them exclaim. They turn to see the source is Caboose, holding up Lopez's body.
"Oh. Where'd you find it?" Simmons's asks.
"It was just on a big desk outside this diorama thing." Caboose explains.
"Uh... what?" Grif asks.
"N-never mind." Caboose deflates. The ground suddenly starts shaking again. Caboose gasps. "Please pick me this time."
"Oh crap. Is that who I think it is?" Grif asks.
"The overlords back? Already?" Simmons asks. To answer his question, a face pears in their little diorama they know as Blood Gulch. Luckily the face looking at them didn't belong to the little boy who tried to perform lethal science experiments on them just yesterday.
"Hmm. Don't look to damaged." The boy muttered to himself. This was that kids older brother. Their proper owner, Adam Hargrove. "Better make sure." He then grabs the three reds and takes them elsewhere.
"Yay!" Caboose exclaims as he is taken.
"Damn it." Adam curses as he looks at his handful of minfigures. "Where's Lopez's head?" He then drops the four into another diorama, but keeps Lopez's body with him. "Malcom!" He cries out as he leaves. What did you do with Lopez's head?!"
The four plastic soldiers recover from the experience as they take in their surroundings. There was a large Japanese style house there.
"Hey, it looks like that house is built with the same type of block as our bases, except... better looking." Simmons's notes.
Sarge then picks up a nearby block and reads the words moulded into it out loud "LEGO... hmm."
"Lego? What the hell is that? All our blocks have Mega blocks moulded on them." Grif says.
"Actually, it's Mega Construxs now." Simmons's corrects him.
"What's the fuckin difference?" Grif asks.
"They both end with different words." Caboose takes his question seriously.
"Anyway, where are we?" Simmons's asks.
"Uh, excuse me? Are you lost?" They hear a voice behind them. They turn to find a man, though not like them. He was more blocky, wearing no armour and he also had no ball socket joints for his limbs. His blue T-shirt and white over shirt were printed on his torso rather than moulded like their chest plates were. His head was cylinder in shape with his face also printed on and black hair atop that. Beside him was a girl of similar build but different print details and hair piece.
"Uh, we don't know where we are so... are we lost?" Caboose asks no one in particular.
"Yes Caboose. That means we are lost." Grif groans.
"Don't worry about it. The overlord is still in the process of setting up our diorama, so it's bound to happen." The boy assures. "I'm Kouta, right beside me is Yuka."
"Hello. Who might you all be?" Yuka asks.
"Sarge, reporting for duty." Stage salutes.
"Grif." Grif replies.
"And I'm Simmons." Simmons finishes. They all look to Caboose.
"Oh. hello. My name is Michael J. Caboose. It is nice to meet new friends." He says.
"So, what were you guys up to when you were displaced?" Kouta asks.
"We were embarking on a mission to recover one of our fallen comrades body." Sarge exclaims.
"That Caboose already found." Grif reminds him.
"That's when the overlord moved us here." Simmons finishes. "What about you guys?"
"We were looking for some one too." Yuka says. "Mayu went missing a little while ago."
"Hmph. Yuka, Mayu, What ever happened to normal fucking names?" Grif mutters.
"They're Japanese you insensitive ass." Simmons whispers back.
"We were going to see if they were in that grey structure over there." Yuka finishes.
"What grey structure?" Grif asks.
"That one right there." Yuka points behind the soldiers. They turn to see a massive, unmarked, grey structure standing behind them.
"Woah. That is big." Caboose voices.
"How did none of us notice that until she pointed it out?" Grif questions.
"Only problem is, we don't know how to get in." Kouta says.
"Well, the Red team offers their help in helping you get in, finding your teammate and kicking whatever's behind that wall to kingdom come!" Sarge exclaims.
"Thank you! We'll try to repay you the best we can after this is all over." Kouta says.
"Now. For getting in. Simmons!" Sarge cries out. "Grappling hook!"
"Yes sir." Simmons exclaims, pulling a grappling gun out of no where and firing at the top of the structure. Sarge gives the string a tug to check its safety.
"Alright men, we're scaling the wall." Sarge says.
"Do we have to?" Grif complains. "Can't we just look around the sides for a door or something?"
"You can look down my shotgun barrel for the shell. Should be coming if you don't climb the rope." Sarge offers. Grif only groans and starts (pathetically) climbing the rope.
"We're coming too." Kouta says.
"No can do. It's best not to bring civilians on this OP." Sarge objects.
"He's right Kouta. It could be dangerous." Yuka agrees.
"But this... thing is gonna be a part of our diorama. We should at least familiarize ourselves with it." Kouta argues.
"Rrrrrrr. Very well." Sarge reluctantly agrees. After they all climb the rope and jump down into the structure, they are greeted with white walls and a moody atmosphere.
"This area looks like it's supposed to be lit up." Yuka notes.
"Well, a little darkness won't stop us, right boys!" Sarge calls out.
"Yeah! Even if some of us might be afraid of the dark!" Caboose... agrees?
"So What now Sarge? Split up and cover more ground?" Simmons asks.
"Nope. We stick together." Sarge assures.
"Okay... how about we check what's through that big door first?" Kouta asks, pointing to his left.
"Sure. Looks like just a simple lever will open it up." Simmons notes as he finds said lever nearby and flicks it on. With that, the large doors open.
"Man. How long must it have taken to build this? Some overlords are just dedicated I suppose. How exhausting." Grif says. Once the door opens, the group are greeted with an even darker room with something being held in the centre. "Wow. All that for this disappointment."
"What is it though?" Yuka asks.
"Come on men! Let's take a closer look." Sarge orders. With that, the group slowly spread out to cover more ground in the room. Grif finds what looks like a security guard asleep on the job.
"You lucky bastard." Grif sighs as he watches. Kouta and Sarge head over to the object in the middle.
"Still can't tell what it is... but if I just remove the outer plateing, I should be able to know." Sarge says.
"Are you sure we should do that?" Kouta asks.
"Of coarse! It's all just blocks in the end, we can easily put em back!" Sarge replies, and with that, he removes one of the bricks to the object only for something to fall out. Looking to what fell, both men are treated to the sight of a naked LEGO ass. "Huh. Wasn't expecting that."
The person turned around, revealing themselves to be female with a printed front that made the men look away. She had a helmet on that they mistook for part of... what was happening again? (Why am I even writing this? You all know what Lucy looks like.)
"Uhhhhhh." Kouta drones off. The rest then walk come over to see what the fuss is about.
"What is- woah!" Simmons says, taking notice.
"Who is she! Why is she naked!" Yuka exclaims.
"She was in the thing... in the middle of the room!" Kouta exclaims.
"Kouta...?" The girl weakly says.
"How does she know you?!" Yuka then exclaims.
"You... you don't remember me?" The girl asks.
"Whatever. Person who we were looking for, lets dip." Grif says.
"We can't leave her here!" Kouta exclaims.
"Then we take her with us. Lets leave." Grif responds.
"Now hold up there! We've only explored one room!" Sarge exclaims.
"Yeah, and this room blows. I think its safe to say the whole building sucks, so lets just leave." Grif explains.
The group, now with Lucy in tow continue to prowl the building.
"Can't help but notice we haven't left yet." Grif points out.
"Maybe we can find some more naked women?" Simmons suggests. Yuka shoots him an irritated look. "I mean- uh, I respect women and we, uh- er, should try to find Lucy here some clothes. What I meant was, we should- er- find more to uh, help them!"
"Yeah... we should." Yuka says, eyeing Kouta blushing while looking away from Lucy while Grif was eyeing her up and down. "Here." She says, finding a storage room. She walks in and then quickly walks out with new torso and leg pieces that have printed black and pink clothing. She removes Lucy's head from her naked body and puts it on the new pieces she acquired.
"Thanks." Lucy mutters to her as she removes her helmet, throws it aside, pulls out a long pink hair piece with horns and puts it on.
"So... we just have a woman's headless, naked body now?" Grif questions. Yuka, as quick as she could, took the body and threw it into the storage room.
"Now we don't, lets go." She says, irritation present in her voice.
"Hey, I just noticed... where did Caboose go?" Simmons asks.
The guard awoke from quite a lovely dream to see a piece of Lucy's containment apparatus missing and her gone.
"Oh, shit! I'm gonna lose my job or something!" He exclaims before pressing a red stud that activated the alarms.
The group of six was walking near some numbered doors when the alarm went off.
"20 bucks says Caboose did it." Grif says.
"Wha- of coarse he did it!" Simmons exclaims.
"Men! Time for stealth, to observe what our enemy is capable of!" Sarge exclaims.
"Stealth!? The alarms are going off?! How are we gonna be stealthy when they know we're in here!?" Grif exclaims.
"Just get in one of the doors." Sarge grunts as the six walk into a room labeled 7. When the six went in they notice-
"Donut!" The three red soldiers exclaim.
"Oh hey guys! I knew you'd come and find me!" Donut waves to the three. They also notice he is with a girl with a black dress and short pink hair with horns. She also has smaller leg pieces than the others.
"Donut, who's this?" Sarge asks.
"Oh, how rude of me. Guys this is Nana. Nana, these are the guys!" Donut introduces.
"Hello guys! Nice to meet you." She exclaims. "So they're all called guys?"She asks Donut.
"I'm having a hard time following whats going on." Grif says as Donut clarifies their names to her.
"So am I." Kouta groans.
"And we still haven't found Mayu." Yuka adds.
"And your blue friend... Caboose was it, went missing." Lucy adds. The group then notices a naked, headless, body in the corner. The legs pieces are also short like Nana's.
"I'm not surprised Donut had a dress to give her." Grif says.
"Well this is fantastic! Reinforcements have arrived!" Sarge exclaims. "Donut, fall in. Pinky pie number 2 there can follow us."
"Actually, I'm #7." Nana informs.
Meanwhile, at the Blood Gulch Diorama, the blues walked up to the Red base. Church armed with a sniper rifle, and Tucker with his sword.
"Do we have to do this?" Church groans.
"I hate it to, but if we don't the overlord will just do it for us." Tucker says.
Church sighs. "Attention Reds!" He calls out. "We are heavily armed and have your base surrounded! Give us Caboose back and we'll leave peacefully!"
A girl with short brown hair pops her head out of the base. By her build, its clear she's not made by Mega blocks (or construxs, SAME THING!)
"Um excuse me? Where am I?" She nervously asks.
"What the fuck is this?" Church says to Tucker.
"I dunno man, when did this girl get here?" Tucker asks.
"Um, my name is Mayu and, uh, there are no people in here. Just a brown helmet that I think is speaking Spanish." Mayu informs them.
"You know what? Lets just let the overlord deal with this bullshit, I dunno how to respond to this." Church says walking away.
The group of 7 scaled back where they came and back to Maple inn.
"Well that was a major disappointment." Simmons says.
"Thats what I kept saying." Grif says.
"Disappointment? Your friend Donut was killed by that Bando person!" Yuka exclaims.
"So? Its happened before. He'll be back next week only to disappear with put us noticing again." Grif says
"Its kind of a running thing at this point." Simmons assures.
"Well I had a great time! Fighting that Bando soldier to soldier. And Lucy, you can really kick some ass!" Sarge exclaims.
"Thanks." Lucy simply says. The ground begins to shake again. Nana cowers behind Yuka as it goes on.
"Ah! Whats happening!" She exclaims.
"There there, Nana. Its just the overlord. Everything will be fine." Yuka consoles her. The overlord then arrives and takes the three Red soldiers and puts them back in the Blood Gulch Diorama. He then takes Mayu out of the red base and puts her back in the Maple Inn, all while complaining to himself.
"Damn, now I gotta get a new Lopez off ebay and maybe a Donut. Also, how did Mayu get here?" He eventually leaves, letting the red soldiers talk amongst themselves now.
"Overall, I'd call today a success!" Sarge exclaims.
"Success? We accomplished jackshit!" Grif exclaims.
"Maybe, but today, there is one less blue in the world." Sarge exlains.
"Hey guys! I'd like you to meet my new friend!" They hear a familiar voice exclaim. They turn to see Caboose accompanied by Lopez's body. Taped to it is the head of a girl with shoulder length pink hair and horns.
"What the hell?" Simmons mutters.
"Everyone, meet 28! 28! Say hello!" Caboose exclaims.
"Hello everyone! Its so good to meet you! And its also good to shake your hand! Its good to have hands again!" She exclaims, vigorously shaking everyone's hands.
Grif sighs. "This is one fucked up day."
A.N. : I should probably explain myself. I came up with the idea, it was turning out good... until it wasn't. But by that time, it was about halfway done and I didn't wanna start over from scratch. So here we are. Let me know if you actually liked this clusterfuck of a chapter, or if it was every bit as weird as I felt it was.