This fic is a response to this post by the magnificent Poetax
post/190839641832/backyard-box-bitty-youve-been-hearing-strange

Well. That's not what you expected.

Three weeks ago, you received the box of gourmet apples you ordered from the neighbor's kid during their school drive. When you were a kid you remember selling magazines but this year the school district chose some weird mail-order fruit company. You didn't really want the apples but it was the cheapest thing in the catalogue and you felt like you had to buy SOMETHING. The apples arrived in a heavy wooden box which added to the "gourmet-ness" of the product but also left you with a box you had no idea what to do with. You set it in the back yard with vague intentions of dealing with it tomorrow. For three weeks it has been sitting there, growing moss and waiting for the day when you become a responsible adult who actually does things they say they will.

Today when you get home from work you let your dogs outside as usual. One of them walks over to the box and sniffs it, then starts growling. Soon both dogs are at the box, barking like little maniacs at what you can only assume is a squirrel or something inside. You corral the dogs back in the house and walk over to the box, grabbing a badminton racket off the ground on the way. You really need to clean up your yard. Whatever is in the box needs to leave. Your dogs are probably too dumb to catch it but you'd rather not get a noise complaint called on you for excessive barking. As you get close, you hear small scratching noises coming from inside the box. Cautiously, you reach out with the racket and lift up the edge of the lid. A strange "eep!" noise comes from inside. Huh. You tap the side of the box with your foot, trying to scare the animal into running away. Nothing jumps out and you hear what sounds like... heavy breathing? Is the squirrel hurt? Is that why it hasn't run away? You get a little closer and peek inside. There is a little skeleton creature shivering in a corner of your gourmet apple box. It looks at you with two large, terrified eyes... sockets. A pinprick of red light wavers frantically in each. A jaw full of pointy teeth is clenched tight and its entire tiny body is shivering. You drop the lid back, startled to say the least. Is that a bitty? You've never seen one in person. You know about them from the news but no one in your town sells them. To your knowledge, no one nearby has one. They were supposed to be intelligent, right?

"Uh... Hello?" you say to the box.

"J-just go away!" a surprisingly deep voice answers.

"Uh...You're a bitty, right?"

"I ain't nothin'! Go away!"

Huh. What are you going to do? Whenever you find lost pets you make an effort to catch them and make sure they get back to their families safely. But this is a bitty. It can talk and everything. Catching it like an animal seems sort of...inhumane?

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! Leave me alone!"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing! Fuck off!"

"Woah, little guy, I'm just trying to help."

"I don't need your help! Just... just open the lid and go away!"

"Uh...okay." You're reaching for the box when a thought strikes you. "Wait, what are you gonna do? Where are you going to go?"

"None of your fuckin' business!"

"Are you lost? I can give you a ride home if you want."

"NO! Let me the fuck out!"

"Not until I know you're gonna be okay."

"BULLSHIT! Let me out right the fuck now!" A red light suddenly glows around the lid and it starts to open. Apparently this is one of the bitties that can use magic. You put your foot on the lid, holding it down. Thumping noises come from the box. "Let me out, asshole!"

"I can help you get home! It's not safe for you to be running around out here by yourself."

"Fuck you! I don't belong to you! I don't belong to anyone!"

"Wait, what? Aren't you a bitty?" The bitty shouts words you can't quite make out and you feel something hit the lid. "Easy! Don't hurt yourself!"

"Then fuckin' let me out!"

"Did you run away?"

"Yeah, and I ain't fuckin' going back! You're not taking me back!"

"I'm not going to make you do anything."

"Bullshit! You're keeping me in this fuckin' box!"

"Yeah, well, cause if I let you go you're going to run away and get hit by a car or something."

"I ain't that stupid, lady!"

"If you're all by yourself how are you going to get food and stuff? I have a lot of delicious junk food, if you're hungry."

"I don't want your fuckin' food!" Another thump on the lid.

"Can you just calm down for a minute? What do you think I'm going to do to you?"

"You're gonna fuckin' take me back or sell me or throw me to your fuckin' dogs, I don't know! There's all kinds of sick shit humans do to bitties."

You feel a knot form in your gut. "Was... was someone hurting you?"

"Ha! Yeah, but only when they weren't busy makin' us fight each other! You humans are sick, you know that?!"

"Jesus Christ." God, people suck. "I'm... I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"Tch... I'm fine."

"Are you sure? If you're hurt I have bandages and things. I took a first aid class like ten years ago and I still remember some-"

"I said I'm FINE, idiot! Bitties ain't like your shitty human bodies. We can heal from almost anything."

"Oh, okay. Good." You really want to help this little guy. It takes you a moment to think of what to say. "Look... I get why you don't trust me. It sounds like you've been treated really bad by some really bad people. And I'm so, so sorry. On behalf of all the good humans out there, I'm so sorry. There are some real twisted fuckos in the world. I do animal rescue and I've seen things that make me want to commit murder. One of my dogs is a rescue from a dogfighting ring."

"I ain't a fuckin' dog."

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that! Sorry. I just mean, you can trust me. I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise. Please just... come inside and talk. Let me give you some food."

For a few seconds the box is silent and you hold your breath.

" ... Alright, if I eat your damn food, after that you let me go?"

"Promise," you say. Hopefully you can get him to trust you enough to stay. You pick up the entire box, keeping a finger over the lid.

"Th-the hell?!"

"Going inside, gimme just a moment." You walk over to the door and are faced with the problem of turning the doorknob. Carefully, you balance the box on your knee and let go with one hand. Your dogs are waiting just inside and as soon as you open the door they jump on you enthusiastically, knocking you off balance. For a moment the box rocks dangerously before you grasp it with both hands again.

"SH-SHIT!"

"Sorry! sorry!" You say as you hurry inside, not daring to let go again to shut the door behind you.

(Art by CuddlyQuiche)

You set the box down on the kitchen table and open the lid to an angry, glaring bitty. His red eyelights burn into you.

"I'm sorry..." you say sheepishly. You feel bad for almost dropping him, but also more than that. Trapping him in a box wasn't very cool of you, even if it was for his own good.

"Tch... So, you gonna let me out or what?"

"Ah, yeah. Here." You reach into the box, holding out your hand for the bitty to stand on. He scuttles frantically away from you.

"Don't fuckin' touch me!" He snarls. It sounds like he's actually growling.

"Oh...sorry," you say, feeling like a jerk. You look around for another way to get him out. There's a sweater on the chair next to you. You take it and hang it over the edge of the box. The tiny skeleton watches you carefully. You take a few steps back. The little guy has clearly been through some bad shit and the best thing to do is give him space. A part of you is disappointed that you aren't going to get to hold him but you probably deserve that after basically kidnapping him..."bitty-napping" him?

After a couple seconds a small white skull appears over the lip of the box as the bitty climbs up the sweater. He hops down, landing with a soft thump on some papers you left on the table.

"So...uh...this is my house," you say awkwardly. The skeleton looks around.

"Wow. What a dump." At the sound of his voice, the dogs look up at the table. Mila stands with her front paws on a chair, trying to see where the noise came from. The bitty takes a couple nervous steps backward.

"Off," you say, and gently push her away from the chair with your leg. "What can I get for you? I've got chips, ramen, frozen corndogs, apples...uh... Sorry, what do bitties eat?"

The little red lights move in a circle as the bitty rolls his eyes. "The same stuff as you, moron."

"Oh. Okay, good. Anything sound good?"

"What's... a 'corndog?' "

You grin. "You've never had a corndog? They're pretty great. Not great for you, but pretty great. But these are actually vegan so it's a little better."

"Are you serious?"

"Hey, they're good! They taste pretty much the same. I figure real hot dogs barely count as meat, anyway." You're hungry too so you get two corndogs out of the freezer and put them in the microwave. You set the timer for two minutes.

"So... What's your name?" you ask the bitty. He looks surprised.

"My name?"

"Yeah. Do...do you not have a name?"

"Tch... course I got one. Maybe I just don't feel like telling you."

"Oh. Okay. Well, my name's Y/N." The bitty just looks away and there's an awkward silence as the microwave hums in the background. You try to think of something to ask. Probably not a good idea to question him about how he got here or what happened to him.

"What's your favorite color?"

"What?"

"Your favorite color. Mine's blue. Fun fact, blue is the most common favorite color in the world."

"That's dumb. The hell do you have favorite colors for?"

"Oh c'mon, you're telling me there's no color you like better than the others?"

He looks thoughtful for a moment. "Hmph. Well... I guess red's not bad."

You fail to stifle a small laugh.

"What's so funny?!" He snaps.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry, it's just that it makes sense, you know, since your eyes are red."

"And that's funny...?"

"Heh. Well, it caught me off guard and I have a weird sense of humor."

"Tch." The bitty kicks at some papers on the table with his tiny bony foot. "I guess... I guess black ain't so bad, neither."

"Red and black, huh? Those were my high school's colors."

"Your what?"

The microwave beeps. Your dogs, having smelled the deliciousness being cooked, follow you eagerly as you carry the corndogs to the table. The bitty eyes them warily.

"Ketchup or mustard?" you ask as you grab the bottles from the fridge.

"What? Oh. Mustard."

You squirt out a pile of mustard for the little skeleton and mustard and ketchup for yourself. You pick up your corndog and dip it in both.

"Well, bón appetit!"

The skeleton gives a sharp toothed grin. "Don't you mean, bone appetit?"

"Booo," you say, though you can't suppress a smile. You take a bite, relieved it's not too hot. You don't want the bitty to burn his tongue. Wait. Does he have a tongue? From what you can see, he's just bones. You watch as he tries to pick up the corndog, which is almost as big as him. He grabs it by the stick and swings it in to the mustard, spinning it around a few times to get as much mustard as possible. His mouth opens much wider than you thought it would and he takes a huge bite; his sharp little teeth slicing easily through the corndog.

"The fuck you lookin' at?" he snaps and you realize you've been staring.

"Sorry. Uh... So, what do you think?"

He shrugs. "...'s okay."

At that moment, temptation overcomes Mila and she jumps on a chair, bringing her eye-level with the table and the little skeleton on it. The second drops his corndog and jumps back, swearing.

"No! Off!" you scold and move the dog back on to the floor. "You know what, let me put the dogs in another room," you say. You pull on their collars as the dogs resist being taken away from the delicious food smells. "I'll be right back." You lead the dogs into the bedroom and close the door. You walk back to the kitchen. "Sorry about that. I swear, I've tried to train..." Your words die out as you realize the bitty is gone. Both corndogs are missing and so is the entire bottle of mustard. Shit.