Before Tonks knew it, it was almost Halloween. Her life was in a very predictable pattern at the moment, which suited her just fine. She would wake up and find out if she needed to make an appearance as Albus. It was an average of once a week, and only for a few hours. Normally by the afternoon, he had the strength to take over.
But Albus warned her that it would be much more difficult for him once the cold weather hit. His bones would protest a great deal, so Tonks would need to take over more.
She also got in the habit of spending at least a few hours a day in the Auror office in the Ministry. Tonks felt like she was staying on top of things, as well as trying to find out as much information as she could.
On the day of Halloween, she could feel everyone's excitement. With the persuasion of Harry and Ron, Tonks decided to morph into a student and join in the celebration. Hermione gave her a uniform to wear. Tonks left her hair simple, and made her face younger. Sometimes Tonks couldn't wait to be forty and still look like a twenty-one year old. Ah, the powers of a metamorph.
Tonks walked with Harry, Ron and Hermione into the Great Hall. She had almost forgotten how beautiful the Great Hall could be. Quickly, she glanced up to the Head Table and saw Severus sitting there, simply staring ahead.
The group they sat down with glanced at her curiously. The others sitting with them were Ginny, Neville and Neville's girlfriend, Luna. Tonks was introduced to them as "a friend." Ginny saw through her at once, and almost spit water over the table.
Just as dinner ended, and dessert was expected, some unsettling things happened. Both Harry and Neville clutched their foreheads at the same time. Tonks noticed a dark look pass between them. They both started to stand up when Hermione whispered, "Look at Snape."
Tonks turned her attention to the Head Table. Severus was just standing up, and was clutching his left fore arm. He said a quick word to Albus and ran out the side door. Tonks wanted to run after him, but she knew it would cause too much of a scene.
The group started standing up, leaving Tonks by herself. "We have to go, Tonks. I'm sorry!" Hermione whispered to her.
"What's going on?" Tonks asked.
A pained look passed Hermione's face. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry!" she said, looking very upset.
More secrets, Tonks thought to herself. "That's fine," she told Hermione. "I'll see you later."
Hermione nodded, and followed the rest of the group out of the Great Hall.
Tonks looked down and saw that dessert had appeared. Sighing, she helped herself to a piece of pumpkin pie.
88888
When Severus wasn't back by midnight, Tonks started to get extremely worried. By two o'clock, she was frantic. There was a sudden knock on the door.
Tonks ran towards the door, almost slipping on an area rug as she went. Professor McGonagall was standing there, wearing a dressing gown. "We're having an emergency meeting, Tonks."
"Give me two minutes," Tonks said. She ran and changed into a pair of jeans. She followed Professor McGonagall to Albus' office. Severus was sitting on the edge of the fireplace, his face buried in his hands.
Tonks hesitantly sat next to Severus. She couldn't see his face, but she could tell just by his body language that he was incredibly upset about something. Just when she was going to wrap her arms around him, she noticed that the Weasleys and Remus were also in the office.
"Thank you for being here," Albus started. He cleared his throat. "The Death Eaters had a major attack tonight. They attacked a Haunted House full of muggles, and tortured and killed almost everyone there. The muggle news is all over this. Right now there looks to be seventy-four dead, and a lot of those were children.
Tonks placed her hands over her mouth. "Merlin," she heard Arthur whisper.
"There is really nothing we can do right now. I'm hoping that Fudge accepts that Death Eaters did this. If he does, he might be able to work with the muggle government," Albus said slowly.
"So we can't help at all?" Tonks asked.
Albus shook his head. "There is nothing to be done. The muggle law enforcement is there, along with their own Healers. We can't interfere and risk being discovered."
"But I could easily pass as a muggle," Tonks said.
Albus' gaze lingered on Severus for a moment. "You're needed here tonight, Nymphadora," he said gently.
"There is a chance that this won't even make the Dailey Prophet," Albus continued. "I will gather as many muggle newspapers as I can tomorrow, and we will have a meeting tomorrow night at Headquarters."
He nodded, and the Weasleys and Remus flooed out of the office. Severus stood up so quickly that Tonks didn't even realize it until he made it to the door. He left the room, slamming the door as hard as he could.
Tonks jumped up and ran after him. "Severus!" she said, trying not to be loud. Severus didn't stop. He just kept walking.
Luckily, Tonks was faster than him and caught up to him. "Severus, please," she whispered. She saw his face, and was amazed to see that he had been crying.
She had never seen him cry, not in the more than two years she had known him. He had seen her cry loads of times. But he never had cried in front of her.
Tonks reached out her hand and placed it on his shoulder. The moment she did, Severus pushed her arm away. "Don't touch me," he hissed, and continued walking. She followed him to his bedchamber, staying at least six feet behind him.
She was expecting him to slam the door in her face. But he simply left it open. As Tonks closed the door behind her, she watched Severus knock over their chessboard. Quickly, Tonks placed a silencing charm on the room.
Then Severus took a glass vase that was on a bookshelf and threw it to the floor. Tonks took her wand and muttered, "Reparo!"
Severus gave her a desperate look and went into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and stood in the tub, fully dressed. Tonks went to the dresser and brought out a fresh change of clothes for him. Then she changed out of her jeans, and back into her pajama bottoms. She sat on the bed and waited for him to come out. She knew she had to wait until he was ready to talk.
Ten minutes later, Severus emerged from the bathroom, completely soaked. He sat on the bed, a little distance from her. Slowly, Tonks got up and stood in front of him. She started undressing him. First, she took off his cloak.
When he didn't react, Tonks started unbuttoning the many tiny buttons on his frock. After a few minutes, he was bare-chested. Tonks took a towel and dried him off. Once she put a clean t-shirt on him, he gripped her hand tightly.
"I killed four people tonight, Dora," he said miserably. "One was a little girl, no more than seven years old. She was dressed as an angel."
Tonks didn't respond. She simply started to undress his lower half. She realized that he needed to talk, get this out of his system.
"I didn't mean to kill the little girl. I was aiming at an older gentleman, and she ran right in front of the flash of light," he told her. "I haven't killed innocent people in eighteen years."
Tonks had him dressed in a pair of pajama pants by then. She sat next to him, and clutched his hand tightly.
They sat in silence, side by side for several minutes. Finally Tonks spoke. "Don't let their deaths be in vain."
"What?" Severus asked sharply.
"Remember last year, when I killed the homeless man to prove my loyalty to the Death Eaters?" she asked.
Severus nodded. "You told me that you are doing everything you can to stop this war. Then their deaths won't be in vain," she said simply.
Severus' shoulders slumped slightly. "We're at war," he whispered.
Remembering the exact words he told her last year, she said, "And there will always be causalities in war."
Tonks stood Severus up, and pulled back the covers of their bed. She quickly said a spell to dry up the water on the sheets. Severus then laid down on the bed. Tonks got in on the other said. Severus reached for her and held her tightly. Tonks stroked his still damp hair.
"She was beautiful," Severus said softly. "So beautiful. Almost what I image our child would look like."
Tonks felt herself starting to choke up. She wiped a tear that started to fall down her cheek. "I love you," she said tenderly.
Severus held her tighter. "I love you, Dora."
Tonks recalled other words that he told her that horrible night. "The first night is the worst," she whispered. "We'll get you through tonight."
88888
The next morning, Tonks woke up in an empty bed. For a moment, Tonks feared that Severus had been summoned again, but then she heard him in the bathroom.
She drifted off to sleep momentarily. Severus was shaking her shoulders. "Dora?" he asked gently.
Tonks opened her eyes and looked into his face. There wasn't as much pain there as last night. "Morning," she whispered. She propped herself up on her elbow. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," he said softly, reaching for her.
Severus made love to her frantically, as if his life depended on being inside her. Tonks clung on just as tightly, wanting to help him get through this ordeal in any way possible.
Afterwards, they held each other, still slightly breathless. "Should we go get breakfast?" Tonks asked.
Severus shook his head. "Thank Merlin its Saturday," he said. "I don't want to leave this bed until the meeting tonight."
Tonks couldn't stop the giggle from coming out. When he simply stroked her hair, she knew it was all right to giggle. "I don't know about you, but I can't live for twelve hours with out food or using the toilet," she said.
Severus kissed her. "Yes, you can," he whispered.
"No, I really can't," she said. "I have the world's smallest bladder."
"Fine, we can leave the bed to go to the bathroom and that's it," Severus told her.
"Food?" Tonks asked, rubbing his back. "I like food. You like food. Do we really want to go so long with out food?"
"One kitchen run," Severus said. "That's my final offer."
88888
Much to Severus' dismay, they both eventually did get out of bed, and even worse, dressed. They headed towards the Great Hall for lunch. Making sure no one was around, Tonks gave him a quick kiss. Then they entered the Hall, and Severus went towards the Head Table and Tonks went to the small table that was set up for the Aurors patrolling the school.
Tonks was curious to find out what the other Aurors had heard about the attacks last night. She couldn't quite believe that none of them had heard of a muggle attack. Tonks asked for a copy of the Dailey Prophet. There was a picture of Cornelius Fudge shaking hands with the Ministry of Magic's employee of the month.
"I don't believe this," Tonks muttered.
"Are you sure they were Death Eaters?" Calvin Wong asked.
"Seventy-four muggles were killed," Tonks said, trying not to raise her voice. "They were killed by Death Eaters, and not a word of it in the paper!"
"That's hard to believe," Calvin said. "If it were Death Eaters, I'm sure the Ministry would have involved the Aurors."
Tonks sighed. What would happen if no one believed the attack was caused by Death Eaters? What then?