Sarah pulled up outside her sisters house and parked, then winced as the rusted door screeched as she opened it. She moved to the back seat and lifted her niece into her arms easily. She struggled to unlock the door without disturbing Casey and then headed straight up the stairs and into the pink and purple bedroom where she carefully laid the young girl down. She watched her niece as she rolled onto her side and curled up in her sleep. Leaning over she kissed her on her forehead before running her hand against her shiny bald head before smiling slightly as she softly closed the door behind herself.
The house was dull so Sarah turned on every light and lamp to try and brighten the place up. Once finished she turned her phone on and listened to the voicemail messages that were left while she was at the hospital with Casey.
"Sarah its James Heller, I'd appreciate it if you could call me back, or if we could meet up to talk. Bye."
She wasn't sure why Heller was calling as she hadn't seen him since he debriefed Jack. Still she dutifully phoned and was able to talk him into coming to see her at her sisters. He knew the place, he knew her sister as well as he did her. As she waited for him to arrive she switched on the TV but kept it on mute. She checked the baby monitor was on full volume so she could hear Casey if she woke up at all. Taking off her shoes she went through the duffel bag stored in the spare room that she was spending more and more time in to get changed into some old clothes.
Looking tired but comfortable she padded through the house, tying her long hair back as she decided to open up one of the beers her sister kept chilling in the fridge. Just one couldn't hurt, she decided, she was tense and wanted nothing more than to relax after the hard and long day she had just endured.
Heller knocked on the door and let himself in before greeting Sarah who was laid back in an arm chair. She nodded for him to take a seat and he declined a beer but asked if he could smoke in the house. She watched as he pulled a cigar from the inside pocket of his suit jacket and rolled her eyes.
"I thought you quit?"
"I did, but I like a treat every now and again."
Sarah shrugged and watched as he lit the cigar, the smell taking her back to her childhood days when she and Lilly would sit on the bottom step of the stairs and watch as their father and Mr. Heller smoked cigars on the patio. They had been good friends since their school days and both went on into politics, staying in touch right until Ray died of a heart attack almost five years ago. Heller still kept in touch with the two girls and Sarah was comfortable in his presence, which is why he had requested her to take on Jack's case. Not only that, but he trusted her and knew she would do her best to help Bauer work through his recovery.
"So what's up?" She was too tired to act polite so she just asked him outright. Heller scrunched his face up slightly before answering, making her certain something was bothering him.
"What makes you think anything's wrong?"
Sarah smirked slightly, "I know we are close but I haven't seen this much of you since my father died, and you're pulling back on your smoke as hard as I'm pulling back on the bottle."
Heller smiled slightly but suddenly looked very tired. "Audrey's not been doing too well."
"What's wrong with her?"
"She's been depressed since the incident with Paul, and Jacks return has taken a lot out of her."
"I didn't think she and Jack had spoken," Sarah said curiously.
"They haven't. She's still too down to think clearly and as far as I know Jack hasn't made any move to contact her."
"Jack hasn't contacted anybody," she cut in to defend him, before continuing after a slight pause, "although I did have a strange conversation with him today. He was talking about how people have their own lives to deal with, without his own problems on top of that. it was weird," she said, not wanting to give too much away. "I got the impression that the one thing Jack has struggled with most since his return was the lack of independence, hating how his family had put out for him, not being able to get back on his feet right away. But then with what he said today, it almost sounded as though he was feeling… I don't know, lonely?"
"Abandoned maybe?" Heller asked helpfully.
"I don't know. I'll talk to him some more tomorrow. I'm thinking its related to the confession, something he has managed to evade in out every conversation," she said with a slight chuckle, "until now."
"I was supposed to pass on a message to David Palmer for him," Heller said, as though reminding himself. "He asked me last week, but I just haven't found the time. To be honest with you it slipped my mind. Maybe that's what's bothering him, I told him how much Palmer would appreciate the chance to talk to him, and then the guy doesn't even call. He may be angry. Hell, I haven't contacted him myself since I said I'd speak to Palmer, maybe he's wondering what the hell's going on."
"It wouldn't hurt Palmer to call Jack without you pushing him to do so," Sarah said a little callously.
"David's been busy," Heller said slowly, "dealing with the political fallout of Jacks confession. I don't think it would be helpful to Jack to know this though."
Sarah nodded, holding her tongue for the moment. "Maybe it would help, then, if you check in on him again."
"I want to, believe me," he said gruffly, rubbing a hand against his head, "I've just been so busy. I made Audrey check herself into a clinic," he said quietly, "she's lost a hell of a lot of weight recently, she was making herself ill. She agreed to go in for a few weeks, clear her head and start taking care of herself properly."
"I had no idea," Sarah said, suddenly feeling sorry for the old man, he had as many issues as anyone else and was struggling to hold it together like the rest of them.
"I'm scared Jack will ask of Audrey, he doesn't need any more problems and certainly no more guilt to shoulder."
"I think you should give him some credit, he's a lot stronger than we think."
"I know, I just… I don't know if I can face him right now."
"Maybe," Sarah said carefully, "you should just talk to him, instead of worrying about what information you want to hide from him. At the end of the day he needs to know, and it will make him feel better if there are legitimate reasons for why the two people he admires and respects the most are seemingly avoiding him."
"I'm not avoiding him!"
"No, you're not, and neither is President Palmer, but look at it from his point of view, and remember, he's suspicious about everything and everybody. He's gonna be wondering what the hell he did wrong, and its gonna hurt him even more, because he'll put two and two together and come up with six, blaming himself for the confession even more than he already does."
Heller nodded, "will you talk to him, tell him I'll try get through to see him one day soon?"
Sarah nodded her head carefully, "sure I will. But if he asks any questions I'm gonna answer the honestly."
Heller smiled, "I wouldn't expect anything less from you." He paused for a moment as the baby monitor suddenly sounded, but it was just the sound of ruffling covers, Casey was probably turning over in her sleep.
"How's the kid doing?" He asked sincerely, "I haven't seen here in a while but Lill's been keeping me up to date."
"Okay," Sarah said, "she's getting better and that's what matters. This time next year she'll be more like her old self, and healthy too."
Heller smiled, "Time next year we'll all be laughing: me, you, Jack, Lilly, Casey, Audrey," he paused, "we just have to wait for things to sort themselves out."
Sarah nodded, "healing takes time," she muttered, hoping she wouldn't sound patronising.
"It most certainly does," Heller added before grinding what was left of the cigar out with a determined stab.