Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix and Disney do.

A/N: Okay, I have to warn you all, this chapter is going to be a bit freaky. I didn't want to make it like this but I got way too into the story and, well, I guess you'll have to see. But there is a little bit of Riku and Sora cuteness so I hope you'll still like this chapter. It's a big turning point in the story wo enjoy!

Burning Desire

"Coming Closer"

It was another day. Basically another one. I laid in Riku's bed, watching the light come through the blinds as I wondered what I was actually going to do. I had been here for a good four days now and with each minute that I postponed coming back to Yan I slowly became even more fearful of coming home. With the diner incident and my sudden disappearance, I was going to get a beating that I'd never had before. Or even worse, he might send me to a shelter and leave me there.

Closing my eyes I curl myself into the sheets. I really didn't want to go back but I couldn't stay in Riku's forever. Sooner or later he will get fed up with me and kick me out. If I he did do that, where would I go then? I didn't have any friends, not anymore since I had lived in Zanarkand.

"Hey! Sora, I was waiting for you," said Arc as he glared at me with his youthful gray eyes.

He was the only friend I had at the boarding school. Everyone would make my life miserable because I was the child of my father's affair with a Native American woman. My father was a big socialite and everyone important was invited to his snobby parties. He was also richer beyond belief and was supposed to have the perfect family. And then I came along, wanting to see who my father really was and I became the blemish on his high society life.

However, when I was sent there Arc quickly took me under his wing and showed me a life close to normal.

"I'm sorry! I had to take a shower before I left," I had said, trying to catch my breath. He just sighed and messed my hair, making me perform my once characteristic pout. He always would say that I was the cutest when I did so. I, however, hated being cute. Cute never got the girls to want to be more than a casual friend with you. It only made me look like a little brother in their eyes.

"Just throw your stuff into the back of the truck."

"Why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. He just grinned and gave me a random thumb up.

"Because we're going to this awesome little spot that I wanted to show you, it is our day off of school isn't it?" he said, making me simply nod my head.

That night we had driven to the outskirts of town and into Macalania Woods, three hours away. The drive was long and silent and he seemed to be thinking about something the whole time.

We got out of the car and walked to a large lake in the middle of a clearing. Everything seemed to glow an ethereal color of blue as we stood at the water's edge.

"You wanted to see it didn't you? Lover's Lake?" he asked me with a smile, making me blush a little. Throughout our friendship, we were like brother's, acting as if we had lived our entire lives together. However, only a few weeks before did I start to grow different feelings about him.

I nodded my head meekly in reply as I focused my eyes on the cool water, watching a few leaves dance on the mirror-like surface. I didn't want to look at him then. I knew that if I did, I might have said something that could ruin the friendship that I cherished and loved so much. Arc had been so wonderful to me and I didn't want to lose him over some kind of weak and phantom feelings that didn't exist.

So we had stood there side by side, looking out into the glowing depths before us, both of us trying to find any words to say that could break the unsettling silence. I closed my eyes as I heard him sigh, shifting his weight from one side towards the other, his fingers brushing my hand. It was such a small and silent gesture but it sent a warm shiver throughout my whole body. It was wonderful.

I looked to the sand under our feet as I felt my fingers around, searching for his hand. As our fingers touched, I felt him tense up even more, closing his eyes as he paused, not knowing what to do.

"Arc?" I asked, looking up to him. At the mention of his name, he squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to understand what was playing in his mind. I traced my fingers gently against his palm, trying to intertwine a few of mine with his.

At this he sighed and ran a hand through his deep red hair. "I thought so," he said as he turned on his heel almost angrily and started walking out to the truck.

My heart sank as I saw him walking away from me, wondering what was going through his mind. Why was he doing this? Why did he seem to reciprocate my feelings for a moment and then so cold at the next?

"Arc wait! What's going on?" I asked, grabbing his hand, making him pause abruptly. The long strands of his wavy red hair covered his face as he looked away from me, not daring to look me in the eyes.

"I didn't want to think it was true. I didn't want it to be true."

"Arc, look at me! What are you saying?"

His gray eyes looked sadly back to me with a mix of anger. "I'm saying that if this is how it has to be then I don't want you near me anymore."

"Why?" I asked, trying to make sense of it all. Arc wasn't normally like this. He wasn't cold, cruel, or anything like that. He was a caring and fun-loving guy that would play his guitar and write music. He was the first one to make my angsty poetry have meaning with the careful plucking of his strings. And he was the one that actually made me feel like my life could go on without my mother and made me love him so much.

"I can't have you falling for me Sora. It's disgusting. Do you know what people will think if they found out? Do you know what they would do to make me miserable?" he rambled, his voice steeped in betrayal.

"But I don't care what people think. You're all I have and I can't help my feelings for you. I know that I don't want to but I just can't help it."

"Well try," he spat, jerking his hand away from me.

At that time I closed my eyes and cried shamelessly.

"God damn it, don't cry!" sighed Arc in frustration as he just stood over me like a bully to a crying little girl, feeling as if he could get caught. But I didn't care that I seemed like a girl at that moment. I really wished I was. Maybe, if he saw me as such, then he could actually start to like me and do things like kissing and all of that stuff that he would do with his girlfriends.

From that time on, I started dressing darker and even cross-dressing. Instead of the normal things that normal sophomore boys would wear, I would wear plaid schoolgirl skirts over my black jeans or wear a pearl earring and intense black eyeliner. I was already a freak to the school so why should I care now that the one person I cared about feared being seen around me.

"Sora Night! I don't care what kind of funk you're in but wearing women's clothing is not proper dress code!" scolded my teacher when I came in late to her class. The whole class looked at me and snickered. I wandered my eyes over to Arc, the teacher's aide. He simply averted my gaze and gave a nod in agreement. I just smirked and cocked my head to the side, looking at the teacher from my black shadowed eyes.

"I don't know sir but it doesn't say I can't in the handbook." The rest of the class laughed as my teacher stuttered back at me, flustered by my sudden change in attitude. It wasn't a surprise that he was so taken aback; I was once a quiet and overly polite student, simple and as plain as I could be. But suddenly, it seemed like overnight that I had changed into something so entirely different that it rocked the order of things.

Because of that, I became popular.

Everyone wanted a piece of me, wanting to be near the rebel. I was the only one that really talked back to the teachers, broke the rules, and defied everything that the school was about. I would go to parties, drink, have sex with many different men, most from the colleges nearby, and barely skid by with a C in each course. I was fascinating to everyone around me but the one person I wanted to notice the most distanced himself even more.

After my sophomore year, Arc went off to college, leaving me behind with my broken heart. I didn't enjoy the new "friends" that I had. I also didn't enjoy waking up from each party in different people's rooms feeling sticky, torn apart from the inside, and with a horrible taste in my mouth.

I lost my virginity to one of Arc's friends on the seat of Arc's pickup truck when I crashed his birthday party. I could still remember the look of horror on his face when he found us making out drunkenly after the act, my naked legs straddling his waist as he slowly continued to move in me. At that time he had thrown his friend out of the car and then dragged my giggling form over to the side of the house.

"What the hell do you think you're doing! Ever since the time at the lake you have been nothing but a walking disaster!" he yelled as I leaned my head against the wall, trying to stop the spinning.

"Oh are you mad? You know no one's watching," I slurred with a giggle as I lolled my head against his chest. He looked at me disgustedly and shoved me off, making me slam back into the wall.

At the sudden movement, the spinning in my head suddenly rushed faster and my stomach heaved violently, making me barf all over the grass. Arc made sounds of disgust as I vomited again, this time all over my bare legs in a splattered mess.

"You need some serious help," was all he said as he walked away, leaving me to stand over my rancid mess. I started to cry bitter tears as I tried to wipe the acid taste out of my mouth, the extra bits dripping off of my chin. I was a mess, a horrible half naked mess. Two years ago I was the happiest person that I could ever be. I was normal and had a mother that cared for me more than the world.

"Why don't you love me! Why don't you even care!" I yelled as I sunk to my knees, sobbing against the tan wall of his house while I tried to cover myself with the skirt I was still wearing. Everything was so wrong and I couldn't fix it now. I had acted rashly and spiraled out of control when I could have simply moved on. My body ached from the pain and pleasure that it went through and my stomach was sore from throwing up. It was pathetic, I went through all of this mess to make Arc jealous, so that he would come crawling back to me which I knew wouldn't happen.

Looking up to the ceiling, I let a few tears glide down the sides of my face. I was wrong, so wrong.

"Sora," called Riku from the doorway, leaning against the side of it tiredly. Sitting up in bed, I regarded him with fatigued eyes, wanting to take another nap.

"You've been here for four whole days and this is just getting ridiculous," he started.

I just sighed and climbed out of the covers. "You're right, I should go."

A sigh. "I don't mean it like that. What I mean to say is that, well…" He then paused.

"Well what?"

"I was going to take you out to get something to eat, I mean, you've been in this apartment for four whole days and, you know what, I don't know," he said as he then gave up and walked into another room. I blushed a little bit, wondering why he seemed so flustered about asking me to get something to eat. Every time I saw Riku from afar, whether it was during his concerts or picking up different women, he always seemed so collected and cool in his approach and in everything he did. So why was he so flustered just now?

Changing into a deep blue muscle shirt and dark black jeans, I clip on my studded suspender-things and walk out the door, looking for Riku.

I found him sitting on the couch, a pillow over his face while mumbling something weird. It was probably him cursing himself for being an idiot or something like that.

"Hey," I say, standing over him with my head cocked to the side and my arms folded. Yes, he was definitely cussing to himself.

He looked up to me with a glare before his eyes then traced down my body, drawing a slow smirk to his lips. Why is he staring at me like that?

"Um, about getting something to eat." Why am I getting flustered now? Normally when I'm around other men I just keep the normal cold exterior and just carry out as usual. And even when guys lustfully strip me with their eyes it's not hard for me to just ignore them. So why am I so bothered right now?

Riku focused his bright aqua eyes back to me and cocks his head to the side, his smile still remaining. "What about it?"

God damn him and his cockiness. Wait, what's up with me and the word 'cock'? Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

"Let's just go before I change my mind." He just looks up at me in confusion for a moment, making me blush, in spite of myself. What the hell am I doing!

"Sure."

--

I was a bit surprised where he took me. After all, he is a student who is a rock singer on the side. So how did he come up with the money to take me to such a nice restaurant?

Looking at the shrimp pasta that was placed in front of me, I start to feel bad. The plate in itself was thirty dollars! And I got a way less expensive thing than what he got.

"Go ahead and eat Sora. It's my treat," he says as he starts tracing his fork across some kind of exotic looking dish. Why is he doing this for me? No one has ever spent money on me unless they wanted some kind of compensation in return.

Deciding to be polite, I slowly dig in to the food, trying not to be too outwardly excited at the fact that it was so good. It's been forever that I've had a good quality meal that I haven't had to cook myself.

"Is it good?" There it was again, his eyes watching me. I just glare and continue eating the food, earning a small chuckle from him. I'm definitely not going to let him ruin this moment. I smiled at that thought.

--

"Why did you take me to that place anyway?" I ask as we walk down the street. We're supposed to be meeting up with his band at Axel's house so that they could practice.

"Cause I know that you wouldn't be spotted there right?" he said with a grin. I just sigh and shove my hands into my pockets, watching people walk past us.

"It must be nice, to be like them I mean."

"Like who?"

Closing my eyes, I just shake my head. "Nothing, nothing at all." How could I expect him to understand? After all, he's an ambitious college student earning some extra money in a band with a bunch of his friends. The biggest problem in his life was probably trying to date two girls at the same time without them knowing.

Watching the people walk by, families with their little babies in decorated strollers and little children holding hands with their fathers, I felt lonely. It's always happened to me. I used to be like those children, spoiled and happy with a mother to love them and a warm house with delicious food and toys to play with. How did my life go wrong? Why couldn't I just be content with just having that life? If I didn't look for my father…

"Sora?"

I suddenly pale. It feels as if my world is spinning and everything around me is swallowing me up. It can't be, it simply can't be!

"No," I whisper, as I feel Riku's hand rest reassuringly on my shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asks before suddenly stiffening.

"Well what do we have here?" I need to run. I need to get out of here. But where could I go?

Riku pulls me behind him as he glares defiantly back at my brother. Why is he protecting me?

Yan looks at the gesture and smirks slyly at me, making my old and forgotten bruises ache. I know that look from anywhere. It means that he's going to punish me again but this time it'll be even worse than he's ever done before.

"I've come to collect my brother. He's missed badly at home," says Yan, keeping his eyes focused on me.

"When he wants to go home, he'll go home. Right now, he's with me."

I wince as I see a small flicker of anger pass through Yan's eyes before making his face change back to the Cheshire grin that it previously held.

"Is that true Sora? Are you two involved?"

"Yes, we're involved," says Riku, making Yan turn to him in anger. What did he do?

"No, it's not true Yan!" I say, pushing Riku out of the way. He looks at me in shock as I stand in front of my brother, my head bowed in apology.

"Sora…"

Yan however grinned and cupped my chin, making me face his cruel hazel eyes. Whenever he did it in public, I just had to suck it up and take whatever open humiliation that he dealt me.

As he kissed me I froze. I didn't want to do this, not in front of Riku. Clutching at his shirt, I really wanted to claw my way away from him and tell Riku that I wasn't meaning it at all. I didn't want to kiss him right in front of him. But Yan gave me no other choice as he wrapped an arm around my waist, brushing his lips over my neck and lingering there for a moment before chuckling, letting me go slowly.

I rested my head against his shoulder, trying not to look at whatever look Riku could possibly have across his face. Whatever it was, I didn't want to remember that since I wasn't going to be able to see him again.

"I see." Closing my eyes, I just had to leave. I didn't care that I was going to be beaten into oblivion or something like that. From the clipped sound in his voice, I knew Riku was furious. Even more so, I could tell that he was angry. The reason why though, I didn't really understand. Was he still upset that I was still in love with my brother? Or was he still angry because of my constant submission to whatever he wanted? No, it seemed like something else but what, I didn't really know.

"Let's go brother, I'm tired," I said as I entwined my fingers with his, brushing his hand lightly against my thigh. Taking the hint, Yan smirked at Riku and then nuzzled his face into my hair, breathing my now mixed scent of my natural smell and Riku's spring water shampoo.

"Fuck you Sora," muttered Riku as I heard him walk off, brushing roughly against me as he headed down the walkway, his form making its way through the crowd until it melded in with everyone else.

Gripping onto my brother's hand, I pulled on a loving smile as he walked us the rest of the way home. It was quiet, deathly silent and I knew that inside he was furious with me but I didn't care. The image of Riku walking away was all that ran through my mind. Was he that hurt that I chose to not put up a fight and draw out what was inevitable even more? Or maybe the fact that I had to do so in a humiliating way.

Looking up to Yan, I bit my lip as I tried to figure out why kissing Yan was so embarrassing. Why was it? I was in love with him right so it should have been natural. So why did I feel so wrong and even filthy in doing it?

The apartment complex rose in the distance and a feeling of dread rose up through me like a splash of cold water down my body. I didn't want to go back, not there. Pausing, I tried to stop the shaking of my knees as I tried to figure out a way to run.

"Oh, my dear brother, I thought that you were tired," he said, his voice sending chills up my spine. What have I done? I should have run! I should have stayed with Riku and we could have run away, far away from Yan and everyone else. He could have protected me.

Shaking my head, I try to pull my hand away from his but he held a firm grip. "I don't feel tired anymore. How about we go watch a movie, I know there's some-"

At that, he pulled roughly on my arm, dragging me up the steps and down the hall of the apartment building with me clawing at his hands madly. "Don't lie to me brother, you said you were tired and I'm going to help you get to bed."

He then jerked my arm roughly, making me fall to the floor as he continued to pull me the rest of the way to the door while I was kicking and screaming, yelling for anyone to help me. Whenever I did, no one would come, probably because Yan had already assured the rest of the tenants that I was mentally insane and had random fits of screaming.

The tears streamed down my cheeks as I clutched onto the frame of one of the apartment doors, trying to pull away from his grasp. "Help me please!" I yelled as I felt my weak grasp slipping until I fell off of the door, leaving deep claw marks behind.

Kicking swiftly at his leg, I loosened from his grasp and started running down the hallway, ducking through different walkways. I continued to call out for help as I ran as fast as my legs could take me, hearing the fast approaching sound of Yan's feet slowly catching up with me. My heart was beating a mile a minute and my muscles and lungs burned as I ran for my life, trying to find at least someone to help me. I was so wrong, I should have let him protect me. I should have listened to Riku.

I was almost out of the building and a large man blocked the way as he was walking with a small six-pack of beer. Dodging him, I almost passed until he called out to me and grabbed me by the arm.

"Hey you! You're that schizo kid huh?" he asked as he gripped my arm tighter, not letting me go.

"Please let me go! He's coming after me! He's-"

"Sora, there you are! We need to stop doing this every time," sighed Yan breathlessly as he hunched over, pulling on a playful smile.

My eyes widened as the man then handed me over, grumbling some kind of thing like "you need to keep a better eye on him," or something like that. Little did he know that he handed me off to the devil.

I couldn't do anything to fight back. My muscles were too sore and there was barely any strength left in me from my run. I just let him drag me across the ground as I cried miserably to myself. Why didn't anyone think it odd for me to scream as if someone was killing me and walk out the next day with large purple black bruises? Why didn't someone at least check on me even once, just to see if I was okay?

"Now it all seems to make sense," he said as he threw me onto the bed, the one that I hated ever since I first laid in it. I whimpered as he began to slowly take off his belt in thought. "I always wondered who this 'Riku' girl was. Who could she be to make you call out to her in the middle of something so special with me?"

"Please don't," I whimpered as I watched him fold his belt over so that the metal studs glistened menacingly back at me.

"It really bugged me Sora, it really did." He then whipped me across the face with it harshly, the metal spikes biting into my cheek.

"Now I see it wasn't a she but rather a he." Another hit, this time at the back of my head. I choked on my tears as I clutched at my head, feeling the warm sensation of blood start to trickle from my scalp.

"Even more so, he isn't just any guy but the lead singer for that shitty Judas band, the one's we're supposed to compete against!" He then lashed at me again and again, the belt flying every which way and hitting me perfectly each time. "Is that what you want Sora? Does he fuck you better than I do? Does he make you beg for him like the little slut you are?"

"Please Yan, stop it! Please!"

He then paused for a moment, dropping the belt to the floor, leaving me to cry in silence. I tried to muffle out my crying to hear if he was actually walking away. Was he going to leave me alone for right now?

The quick unfastening of a button and the short and sharp sound of a zipper echoed throughout the room as my constant wailing became more fitful. I huddled at the head of the bed as I tried to curl myself into the tightest ball imaginable.

"Don't do this, please!" I cried as I felt the bed sink and a quick movement towards me.

"Come on Sora, why don't you call out for your lover's name again? You seem to be so good at it," he spat as grabbed me violently and pressed me deep into the mattress, ripping the clothes off of my body, the sound of tearing fabric echoing off of the walls.

"No! Let go!"

Rip.

"Yan please!"

Tear.

"No! Get off of me!"

Grip.

"Stop it! Stop it!"

Then I screamed.

A/N: Man, this chapter was just… wow. I was a bit disturbed when I typed this. Cause what I type is what I envision in my mind and watching it in my head was very creepy. Poor Sora was raped and I bet you that now you hate Yan with a vengeance now. I just can't believe that I did this to Sora, especially when he could have just run away with Riku and have him protect him. And the flashback showed his initial downfall, phase one in the ruination of the cheerful and happy Sora to what he is now. Things keep becoming worse for him in his life but hopefully there will be something to help him. Please review, I really want to know what you feel about this chapter and especially this last scene. Did I do okay?