Tony was already sipping a beer when Jack arrived, he needed it to calm his nerves. He was cautious of saying the wrong thing to Jack, and even more so of not treating him like he normally would. Still, he smiled broadly and patted Jack on the shoulder as he let him in and then passed him a beer.
"You wanna order a pizza, or you wanna go to a bar?"
Jack shrugged his shoulders, part of him was still anxious of being out, surrounded by other people but part of him wanted to do it to get it over with. "I'm happy to do either," he said, then added quietly, "I've not been to a bar in a while."
Tony smiled, not allowing himself to feel sympathy or pity for Jack because he knew it wouldn't be welcome. Instead he playfully put his arm around the mans shoulder, ignoring the way he tensed at the contact and while eyeing the crutches asked, "you okay to drink and drive those things?"
Jack smirked and shook his head in amusement as he followed the man out of the house. He struggled to get down the stairs, Tony purposefully didn't offer his help and although Jack knew it was done purposefully, he still felt better for it when he reached the bottom and was on even land again.
The first couple of bars they went to were crowded and Jack clearly felt uneasy, worried about somebody bumping into him and just on edge by the many people they were surrounded with. When Tony suggested they find somewhere a little more quiet Jack agreed, eager to leave the busy almost chaotic atmosphere.
They sat opposite each other in a booth, they had a few drinks but weren't truly drunk, Jack not wanting to lose control and Tony wanting to be sober while Jack was. They talked about Michelle, Kim and Chase and then CTU.
"It's strange, being back," Tony admitted, "part of me doesn't want to be there but then logic tells me it's the smartest move the make."
"You just have to do what's best for you," Jack said, thinking back to how he had felt when he had first returned.
"What about you? Once everything's sorted do you think you would work for the government again?"
Jack faked a laugh and when he spoke his voice was bitter. "Do you really think they would let me back? No. They made the mistake of asking me back once, despite all my fuck ups. They wont make the same mistake twice."
Tony stared at him. "What fuck ups?"
"All of them. Never mind the mess with China."
"China wasn't your fault, you can't blame yourself for your kidnapping."
"No, but I was involved in the events which led to that."
Tony shook his head, about to disagree and Jack cut in, a tint of anger in his voice, "I signed a confession, Tony, how more involved in this mess could I be?"
Although his voce was clipped Tony could see that his friend wasn't getting worked up so he continued, "Heller signed a confession Jack, was that his fault?"
"No."
"What's the difference?"
"The difference is that Heller signed something condemning him for his own crimes. I didn't, instead I gave up somebody else, President Palmer for Christ's sake!"
"So?" Tony shrugged his shoulders, appearing that he was unconcerned. "All its cost him is a few months work and no harm done. I hope you aren't beating yourself up over something which didn't even have any repercussions."
"Its not just that," Jack said quietly, trying to make Tony understand, "its how it makes me feel. I gave him up, I feel like… I don't know…" he trailed off, shaking his head.
"Like a traitor?" Tony asked, adamant on finishing this conversation with his friend. "I was branded a traitor Jack, because of my actions. I actively disobeyed orders, caved in to Saunders demands, I even deceived you."
"You were forced," Jack said defensively.
"And so were you."
Jack looked up at him, the two locked eyes for a moment until Jack finally gave in with a short nod of his head before looking away. Tony hoped he had gotten through to him.