The following morning Jack called Tony, thanked him for the beers and the conversation which had given him more than he expected to think about. Tony didn't press, but he was hopeful that this meant that Jack was at least considering the words which were spoken as their evening had drawn to an end.

Jack was thinking about his friends words, so much so that Sarah stopped the session later that afternoon half way through and, with her hands on her hips, curtly asked him why he was so pre-occupied.

"If I tell you what I'm thinking about, can you promise me it will stay between us?"

Sarah glanced at him curiously, "do you think I normally broadcast our conversations?"

"No," Jack said defensively, "I just want to… be sure."

"That you can trust me?"

"I do trust you," Jack said softly.

"Then why are you asking me this?"

"Because. It's still all messed up in my head, I don't want anybody to start trying to influence the direction in which my train of thought goes."

"Okay," Sarah said as she indicated for him to sit on the end of the bed. "Start talking," she instructed as she sat herself down on the window ledge, her feet resting against the small dresser as she made herself comfy.

"I'm not even sure what to say. Me and Tony went out last night…"

"Are you hung-over?" Sarah asked with a smile that she wasn't able to hide.

"No, I didn't overdo it, but, we talked and some things he said, things others have also said which I wouldn't allow myself to accept before, they started to make sense."

"What sort of things?"

"Comparisons between us. Things that had happened to him, which I didn't want to get him down, were slightly similar to the things that happened which have been holding me down recently. I feel like a hypocrite," he said, trying to make himself clearer, "when Tony got out of prison, I would get pissed with him for his self pity, his inability to see that he didn't deserve what happened, that he did the right thing. But then when my friends and family say this to me, I wont accept it."

"Do you think you are starting to accept it? Is this why you're so confused?"

Jack looked down at his hands for a moment as he tried to compose his thoughts. "I think so. I know what happened to me was beyond my control, I'm no longer blaming myself for the state I was in when I was brought home, there was nothing I could do about it."

"And the confession?"

Jack let out a deep breath, "I'm not sure. I'm beginning to realise that what I did, saved myself and my daughters life. I wouldn't willingly do anything to hurt my country, and from what I have heard so far, the damage ahs been well controlled. And, if I'm honest, I would do it again anyway to save Kim, I'd do anything for her."

"Don't you think that's why they brought her in?. So they could use her to get to you."

"Yes," Jack said with a sigh.

"Sounds to me like you're beginning to see through the fog that sometimes clouds your judgements regarding your actions."

"It's like I want to believe I did the right thing. Hell, I do believe that I made the right choice. I just… part of me still feels like a failure."

"Jack, its good that you realise that you had no control over the events you were dragged into. You couldn't help what happened, you're certainly not to blame."

"I agree, I think. I still seems so foreign, maybe that's why I'm still struggling to believe myself when I think about it."

"You have to come to terms with it. As you recover, get your life back on track and start living it you will realise that you're not at fault. It will take time," she said as she slid off the ledge, "most things do."

Jack was still looking down at his hands, wanting to feel completely reassured and still feeling slight doubts from the fact that he wasn't, but Sarah made me him feel better.

"You okay?" she asked, and he smiled slightly as he bobbed his head.

"I will be, eventually, if what you say is true."

"Don't you believe me?" she prodded, trying to get more out of him.

"I want to, I need to, I think you're right, its just going to take time. Its weird, to tell myself I'm not at fault, when its something I used to believe very strongly. Instead of feeling guilt, I think I'm getting angry, I don't know if that's good or bad."

"Trust me," she said, giving his shoulder a playful punch, "anger is definitely a good thing."