This is my fifth fic... and this is also the first fic I made while I was in great pain. How I hate back stabbers... You can guess it, yes... I WAS back stabbed two days ago... I typed this while I was in great pain, and this is the result. Bear with me, I still could not accept it. Anyway, the setting is just before Arlong Arc. These are Nami's thoughts about the crew... (Thoughts are italized.) While reading this, it's best to listen to Rhianna's song Unfaithful. It fits the situation.
I've forgotten about it, somehow...
I've forgotten that I still have a duty... For my hometown... For my love ones...
I have forgotten that I have something I need to collect...
A debt to pay...
I have forgotten... that I still have... This mark...
I never thought I would meet people like these... People who are always willing to help each other...
People who would sacrifice for one another...
For another's dream...
For another's goal...
For another's freedom... But...
I've been with them for a short time, but it felt like it was forever...
Yet... I must never involve them in my problem...
Because in just a short time I've learned to value these people, and seeing them hurt hurts me also...
After all, we are nakama... But... how long...?
In just a moment, I will take this ship and go back to my hometown...
There I will disguise myself again... As a witch...
As a cold-hearted person...
As a traitor...
And as a member... of Arlong's crew...
Zoro... Usopp... and Luffy...
Three persons that I have met for a short time... But I will value forever...
As soon as I get back...
They will never be reality anymore... But just a faint, distant memory...
After all, these three people are my nakama...
Ones who never took advantage of me...
Yet it hurts me...
To realize that sooner or later...
I am going to leave them...
And there we shall never see each other again...
I don't want to forget them... But I'd rather do so than forget my duty...
Since I already decided...
Not to cry anymore... and to fight alone...
I don't want to forget them..
But I must do so...
If I want to continue what I already started...
I'd rather stay inside my room... And never go out...
Since each time I see them, I grow more closer to them...
I'd rather move away from away from them...
But how could I when they are the ones moving closer to me...?
I'd rather not tell them why I am feeling this way...
As soon as one of them knocks on my door, I'll open up, smile and lie...
They should not be involved... And they would never be...
Luffy...
In just a short time that we were together...
I learned more and more about you...
About the things you loved, and your weakness...
I could say that I grew even more closer to you compared to the others...
I could also say that I think of you first more than them...
Why...?
That's a question that even I could not answer...
I wonder... What will be you reactions...
Once you found out that I stole the ship and did not leave a single word?
I hope you would just call on the others and ask them...
To retrieve the Merry back, and you'll go to the Grand Line...
I hope you would rather forget about me...
Than follow me where I am about to go...
I hope you would rather leave me behind that follow me...
Since seeing you getting hurt pains me...
You must not know about my problem...
Nor get involved in it...
You don't know a thing... And you would never know...
I hope you would just forget about me...
I hope that you would go and find another navigator...
Then you would venture into the Grand Line...
And then...
I will just be a memory to you... And so are you to me...
Thank you for all the things you thought me...
Thank you for everything...
If we meet again, I hope this whole thing is over...
If we meet again... Will you let me join you?
Be your navigator again, and treat me like the way you used to do now..?
Perhaps no... You'd rather not, right?
I can already imagine...
Which is why I ask you, silently...
Please forget about me...
As long as you forget about me, it doesn't matter if I will forget about you...
Please do not remember me again, my face...
My voice, my talents... and what role I played in this ship...
Please forget about me...
Luffy...
Just you being my captain for a short time...
A short time which seemed like forever...
Since you will be forever in my memory...
Luffy...
I hope you would rather forget about me than follow me...
I am not worth your concern...
I am not worth your thoughts...
Your worries...
I am not worth being called a friend...
I am not worth your memory...
So forget about me...
Luffy...
I am not what you think I am...
I don't want you to be concerned about him...
I don't want...
You to get involved...
I am...
After all...
A cold-hearted witch...
And I will forever be...
Luffy...
Thinking about you makes me smile...
I will surely miss your laughter...
I will surely miss your voice...
Your jokes...
And the way you view things...
I will surely miss everything about you...
Luffy...
I will surely miss you once I go back...
I might remember you...
I might even cry when that happens...
That's why... From now on...
Before it's too late...
I'll do my best to forget about you...
And never ever...
You would fill again my fantasies...
In reality...
I really don't want to forget about you...
Because if I try that, I know...
It would be a scar in me forever...
But I must do that...
After all...
I am... a witch...
A cold-hearted woman...
Who would do anything for money...
A back stabber...
A traitor...
A liar...
I am... unfaithful...