kiragecko's X-Men
A Near Catastrophy
by kiragecko

You're not free of the random babbling yet! First: X-Men not mine, even if I changed them. If they were mine I'd have a responsibility to them and that's wouldn't be no fun. Second: ... I forget. There was going to be one but you'll survive. Get used to it, I can't remember anything for more then a minute. Enjoy the story.

It was a quiet evening in the Mansion. The inhabitants had been spared Bobby and Hank's ridiculous melange of Master's level physics and juvenile comic references as Bobby had dragged Hank to yet another plotless action film. Jubilee had whined all through the day and Logan had finally given in and taken her out for hamburgers and far too much sugar. Most of the other residents were now enjoying the momentary peace - and making bets onto which twosome was going to be the most impossible the next morning. They had just come to the conclusion that endless bad movie quotes was horrible but a wired firecracker with happy meal toys was the most dangerous force known to mutantkind when the silence was broken by the sound of pounding feet and sobbing. Katherine Pryde went flying past the rec room, her feet two inches below floor level.

"Kitty, what's wrong?"

She stopped, and turned beat red when she saw the mixed party.

"Ummmmm…"

Betsy and 'Ro gave each other The Look. Ten seconds later a confused huddle of guys were watching three departing backs. They waited for a while, but the girls showed no inclination to return and the guys were eventually forced to put on a movie nearly as bad as the one Bobby and Hank were paying money to watch.

Kitty's saviours had their work cut out for them. There were many umms and embarrassed looks before she admitted what was troubling her. She was going on a Date. With The Guy. And she had no clue what to wear. If something didn't happen she was going to have to go like she was!

This was a Crisis. Going like you were was never acceptable. It was even more a no-no when you were dressed in comfortable cargos and a sweater that was three sizes too big and old when you got it from the thrift store. A quick survey of the closet was taken. It was empty, except for a ragged jacket and a bride's-maid's dress. The drawers disclosed more too-large tees and ancient sweaters. The one pair of pants that had once been nice now boasted two impressive stains, clearly gotten at different times. The slacks had been worn after the first stain!

Kitty watched them silently. She was panicked, now. She always ended up in this condition before his visits. Usually she at least had her nice shirt, though. If only she hadn't worn it on Tuesday!

Finally her companions shared another Look. 'Ro gave Kitty a comforting pat and disappeared with Betsy. They returned several minutes later with clothing from their own wardrobes.

"No. Um, I really like your clothes Betsy, really, but um… they're a bit small. They wouldn't cover anything!"

"That's the point."

"No! Please, I'll find something; I'll be okay."

"Come on, Kitty. You would look beautiful in a sarong."

"That's for the beach!"

"No, this is for the beach. Try it on."

"I'm not wearing your bra!"

"It's a bikini top."

"'Ro, please!"

"This top matches you complexion perfectly."

"'Ro, it doesn't HAVE a top! It just sorta stops!"

The battle went on. Kitty was dressed and undressed like a Barbie doll, bouncing between the two mutants so quickly that she couldn't form any coherent objections. At least until Betsy ambushed her with a scrap of hot pink material.

"Get that thing away from me! I don't know what it is but I'm NOT wearing pink. Anyways, it isn't big enough to be a handkerchief, much less a piece of clothing! I'm not going out there naked and I don't know what time it is but I have to be downstairs at eight."

It was 7:45. A cyclone hit the unsuspecting Kitty. Now her tormenters were working together, making cryptic comments to each other and starting sentences that petered off into communal nodding or shaking of their heads. The intangible mutant gave in and tried to figure out what was going on. It was obvious SHE was not being asked what she wanted to wear.

Then Ororo was on her hair and Betsy was holding up jewelry. Both seemed rather put out by Kitty's unpierced ears and she found herself somehow feeling guilty. It wasn't until a small bow was produced that she managed to get control of herself.

"No makeup."

To her shock they gave in.

"Her face has a luminescence all its own. She'll be fine."

"The effect isn't too bad."

A mirror was produced. Kitty stared. She was beautiful.

She was broken from her reverie by a soft hand on her shoulder.

"The doorbell is ringing."

She kind of messed up the stairs and had trouble on the corner but the wall didn't slow her down and she managed to turn eventually. Then it was a strait line to the front door, not really noticing two walls, a table, and a pretty lamp that she somehow caught and knocked over. She didn't really notice the door either. He was prepared, however, and caught her at she went through. She was laughing and talking and he opened the door himself and dragged her after him. He already had her coat out of the closet and was preparing to slip her in it when he noticed her manner of apparel.

"Pryde?"

"…and it HAS been so long and I wish you'd move here and who cares about your jo- What, Wisdom? What did I do?"

"Do? What? You…"

There was a snicker from the stairs. The man spun around.

"Bloody hell! D'you do this? Did you…." He made an expressive gesture in Kitty's direction, "get her up to this?"

There was a moments silence. Then he grinned.

"You guys are bloody miracle workers. I've got the most beautiful girl in the world and I come to see her and she's even more beautiful then I remembered! I might even forgive you for that evil spandex…thing, I saw her in."

There was another moments silence after he had turned back to Kitty. Then she was talking again, babbling with relief, and he laughed, man-handled her into her coat and led her out the door. He managed to wave casually over his shoulder as the door closed behind him, obviously interested in nothing other then the vision beside him.

The two watchers on the stairs let the silence fall again. Then, after the sound of the car faded in the distance, they started to laugh. Broken phrases about Kitty in a pink bikini, Wisdom's eyes popping out of his head, and the sight of Kitty flying through the wall without even slowing down managed to slip between the laughter and the gasping for air. High fives were exchanged. And the two young women set off for something else to spice up their evening. They could always try to convince the guys to watch "Titanic" again…

Author's note: No, I will not describe her final outfit. I have about as much clothing sense as she does. I actually buy sweatshirts at Value Village purposely too large and worn out because they're more comfortable that way. I really need 'Ro and Betsy's help (but not Betsy's wardrobe, I will NOT wear pink!).