Confessions of a School Teacher
Disclaimer: Again and again I have to say that I don't own Nightcrawler, the X-Men, Stark Industries, The Little Mermaid, The Incredibles, or the cookie monster. I'm not payed for writing and I only do what I do for fun.
"…because I have to tell you something. I"- Nora was cut off by something tugging on her dress. It looked at Kurt from behind her and the previously turned-on elf was experiencing complete confusion. It had the face of an ape and an opposable thumb on each foot.
"Mommy, I'm hungry. Can we have meat loaf? And who is the blue man?" it said staring up at him with big green eyes.
"Nora, what is going on?"
"Well, come inside and I'll explain everything."
I stepped across her threshold and stepped into the den, where three other mutants were. Kurt knew they were mutants because each had a physical sign; there was a boy with green scales instead of skin, a girl who had large eyes and ears, and the other girl had four arms. Then, Nora began:
"I am a mutant Kurt. I am like you, looked at differently by the world and misunderstood. When I discovered that there were others like me, I started adopting those who would be mistreated. I have four so far but I hope to start an orphanage for mutants until they are old enough to attend Xavier's Institute. There's James, Rachel, Cassandra, and the one that greeted you at the door is Kyle."
"My name is gonna be Kongo, like King Kong, when I become an X-Man!" shouted Kyle when he heard his name.
Nora continued. "When I found out Stark Industries made image inducers, I bought one for each of my babies and myself so they can attend school and I can teach without being judged. I had to seduce you to come here so I could tell you and so you could meet the kids. I hope you aren't terribly disappointed."
"Not at all", I said finally realizing all of what she was saying. "You didn't have to trick me to get my attention. You could have just said that you wanted me to come over. Why'd you have to put me through that?"
"Sorry. I just know that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his… you know. But I needed you to know."
"Well I'm glad you did. I only have two questions: what do you really look like and what movie are we watching?"
" Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to reveal myself." She adjusted the settings on her watch and uncovered a shocking appearance. She had the same main body type, still beautiful, but had pink skin. She had pointed ears near the top of your head, a slight snout, and a twisted tail. She was a pig!
"I like it", I said staring at her.
"Glad you approve. Now, do you want to watch the Little Mermaid or the Incredibles?"
"How about both!" I said as the girls were screaming "Mermaid!" while the boys were yelling "Incredibles!"
"Exactly what I wanted to hear. Rachel, plug in The Little Mermaid while I talk with Mr. Wagner." Nora pulled me into the other room and locked the door.
"Nora, please, call me Kurt around the kids. I don't want to be formal or anything"
"Okay. So what were you expecting when you got here?"
"Well… certainly not this. I even brought condoms." How embarrassing! I thought as I reached in my pocket and pulled them out. I come for nookie and I get the cookie monster!
"Cookie instead of nookie huh? Who said you weren't getting nookie?"
"You're a telepath too! You need to tell me these things before I think things I shouldn't!" Great. Now I have to stop thinking.
"No you don't. But so you know… I'm not easy, but I am interested. I like you and I think you might like me too."
"Telepathy?"
"No. Your tail is wagging."