"Putting me in a race is stupid." Izuku says to All Might as the others prepare to race though ground gamma. "It's entirely dependent on what I get."
"Indeed young Midoriya, but you must learn to adapt to what you get." All Might says with his trademark smile.
"I am, Mei is working on some tank specific support items, but they aren't done yet." Izuku complains.
"Just do your best." All Might says.
"At least you put me with the slower students." Izuku sighs, looking at Kaminari and Mineta argue about something stupid at the starting line.
All Might decides not to comment on that assessment and instead leaps away to begin the race.
"Alright, something decent, perhaps that Volvo with 'tank' written on it? That was fast." Izuku mutters as he raises his arms into the air. "OH! Seriously!" he shouts to the laughter of several less respectful classmates.
"It's very rhomboidal" Ochako comments kindly.
"Is that even a tank?" Mineta laughs.
"Oh, now you've done it." Kaminari says nervously.
"Even a tank? EVEN A TANK!" Izuku shouts with growing rage. "Tanks would not exist without this, the very concept was proven on the battlefield in this."
"And there he goes." Kaminari sighs.
"This is the Mark IV tank, it's so early it doesn't even need another name. This was so successful the Americans tried to make a steam version. I wish I had that, since then I would at least have a flamethrower!" Izuku ranted, luckily for everyone All Might called start and despite Izuku's effort the Mark IV wasn't going to outrun anyone.
"7 kph downhill." Izuku mutters as he watches everyone race away.
As the race progressed Izuku noticed something interesting in the distance. A bridge over a muddy ravine. Using a pair of binoculars Izuku notices no one has reached the bridge and with that confidence opens fire.
"What!" Kaminari shouts as the bridge ahead buckles as shells begin landing on it.
"All Might said we couldn't attack each other, he didn't say anything about destroying the terrain." Ochako says with a sigh as another salvo of shells hit the bridge, knocking the railings off.
"I'm not going through that mud!" Kaminari whines before racing away to find another crossing.
"It won't stop me!" Mineta shouts before beginning to build a path of balls.
As Mineta begins crossing the mud a final salvo from the Mark IV destroys the bridge and it slowly lumbers into view.
"Can I have a lift?" Ochako asks.
"I'm not sure." Izuku replies, as he looks for a way across.
"I'll join you and Momo for some tank practice after school." Ochako offers.
"You like tank practice." Izuku says.
"~I'll convince Momo and Tsu to wear those tank outfits you were looking at during lunch~" Ochako offers with a wink.
"Deal." Izuku says immediately.
"Wonderful." Ochako says as she climbs in through the rear hatch.
"I wouldn't stay in there if I were you." Izuku says from his position on the roof.
"Why not?" Ochako asks.
"This tank has no internal divisions, the engine is right in the middle and exhaust gets everywhere." Izuku explains.
"I'll be fine." Ochako says as she takes a seat in the left sponson.
With that the Mark IV continued on its epic journey of around one kilometer. Once in the mud the tank revealed its great war origins, steadily crossing the terrible terrain.
"It's so uncomfortable!" Ochako whines as the tank hits another mud pit.
"It doesn't have suspension." Izuku explains.
"What? Even the cheapest tractors have suspension!" Ochako shouts in disbelief, her country origins showing.
"This tank saw service in 1917 Ochako, most people had never seen a car before, let alone a tractor." Izuku replies.
"How did they even fight in this!" Ochako wonders as she fiddled with one of the guns.
"You don't need to be accurate with a 6 pounder." Izuku says, "not to mention how frightening something like this is."
"It's too slow to be scary." Ochako argues.
"People back then weren't used to speed beyond a fast horse, something like this was quite reasonable." Izuku says as the Mark IV finally leaves the mud pit, well ahead of Mineta, who had reached his limit and was resting near the middle.
"If you say so." Ochako replies, glad to be back on paved roads, not that the Mark IV was much more comfortable, it still shook uncontrollably and kicked your teeth out on the slightest bump.
"I do say so." Izuku says.
"Second Place goes to young Midoriya and young Uraraka!" All Might announces as the Mark IV rolls to a stop next to the tall hero.
"How did you beat us Toru?" Ochako asks from her sponson.
"That's a secret!" Toru cheers.
"It's not like it's hard to beat this in a race. I mean even the TOG goes twice as fast." Izuku mumbles.
"Cheer up, you both got here clean and ahead of the two morons." Toru says vindictively as Mineta and Kaminari arrive covered in mud. "Didn't find the other bridge?" She taunts.
Kaminari sticks out his tongue in response but instantly regrets it as his face was covered in mud.
"I'm not letting you escape clean!" Mineta shouts as he leaps at Toru, but she easily dodges and disappears as her shoes and gloves fall to the ground.
"Then you!" Mineta shouts, turning to the Mark IV.
"My tank is already dirty." Izuku says calmly, having slipped into the driver's position as soon as Mineta pounced on Toru.
"Get out of the tank!" Mineta shouts.
"No." Ochako and Izuku say.
"Get out of the tank and suffer with the rest of us!" Mineta screams.
"You're not the class rep!" Ochako shouts.
"You can't tell us what to do!" Izuku adds.
"Get out of the stupid tank right now!" Mineta rages.
"We're in a tank and you're not" Izuku and Ochako shout.
Mineta only manages some unintelligible shouting and a considerable amount of frothing as he pounds uselessly against the Mark IVs armor.
"I wonder how many German's tried that?" Izuku asks as he sits comfortably next to Ochako.
"It would sound better in German." Ochako responds with a giggle.
'Should I just go?' All Might thinks as he watches the spectacle.
'This is going viral.' Toru thinks as she clandestinely films with the phone she hid in her shoe.
AN: the Mark IV, best tank of WW1, not the best tank for a race. And yes I did do my own interpretation of the Arthur get out of the tank meme, now that I've seen it expect it again. And for the review that spotted the Hellsing Ultimate reference, have a cookie, it was quite intentional.