XI. I Love Music
Well, ooh ooh ooh
Get it on, get it on
Get it on, get it on, get it on
Get it on, yeah
Ooh Ooh Ooh
I love music
Any kind of music
I love music
Just as long as it's groovy
Makes me laugh
Makes me smile for the world
Whenever I'm with you girl
While we dance
Make romance
I'm enchanted by the things that you do
Ooh ooh ooh
I love music
Sweet sweet music
Long as it's swinging
All the joy that's it's bringing
I'm so happy to be
In complete harmony
I love you girl
And I hold you so close in my arms
I'm so glad that you're mine, all mine
Nothing can be better than a sweet love song
So sweet so sweet so mellow mellow
When you got the girl that you love in your arm
Oh honey I love you I love you yeah
Music is the healing force of the world
It's understood by every man
Woman boy and girl
And that's why
That's why I say
I love music
Any kind of music
I love music
Just as long as it's groovy, groovy
Music makes the atmosphere so fine
Lights down low
Just me and you baby you know
Specially when you got a cold glass of wine
Mellow mellow wine and song
I love music
Any kind of music
I love music
Just as long as it's groovy
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love music
Sweet sweet music
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love music
Listen listen listen
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love music
Music sweet music
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love music
Yeah, I love music
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love music
Boogie, boogie, boogie
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love music
All night long, music, music, I love music
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love music
Come on, get it on, get it on
Come on, come on
Get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on, get it on
Get it on, come on, come on, come on, get it on now
Get it on, funky funky music
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love music
Music, music, music
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love music
Music, yeah, keep it groovy
I love music
Sweet sweet music
I love music
Just as long as it's groovy
Hard macaroni is scattered across the surface of four tables in the center of the room. Crepe paper, colored pencils, and glitter goes back and forth between hands. Craig diligently drills through a piece of quartz, then a piece of limestone, lines them up near some turquoise beads a little girl leant him because she thinks his curls are cute. Several other girls are gazing at him timidly, giggling.
"Hey," greets Craig.
The girls giggle louder, go back to their individual projects.
Craig was pleased that he, Leslie, and Ashley had walked to the cabin together, Paige towing behind without saying a word. Leslie presented him with six stones, and Ashley gave him a curious look, but he just shrugged and went to work.
He glances over at Ashley, talking with Paige over in a corner. They're both gesturing widely, with Paige throwing Craig an occasional grimace. Craig turns around and begins sliding the stones on the chain that used to hold his New York apartment key, making sure to alternate them with the beads. He looks for Leslie, who is alone at the end of one of the tables, tapping a colored pencil against the wood. Checking the chain one last time, he decides it's as good as it can be, and walks over to her. He waves the necklace in front of her face.
"No fingers were harmed in the making of this necklace," says Craig, as Leslie takes the chain.
"You're good," compliments Leslie, grinning. "I like the beads."
"Well, it needed something," says Craig, sitting opposite Leslie.
"Thank you," says Leslie.
Aubrey joins them, silently sitting next to Leslie on the bench. She gets out her coloring book and starts coloring on the cover. Leslie stares at her, a confused expression on her face.
"I've already done all the pages inside," remarks Aubrey.
Ms. Park lets out another whistle, making half the people in the room jump.
"Oh, sorry, about that," says Ms. Park. "As you know, this evening we're having a showcase where all of our youngsters are invited to perform something of their choosing. We encourage everyone to perform, of course. Additionally, my husband will now pass out maps for the hike we'll be taking tomorrow."
"Yay!" yells Warren. "We get to pee out in the woods."
"Like real men," adds Winston.
"Ewww," say all the girls Craig originally sat with.
"Warren, Winston, quiet!" says Ms. Park. "It's very important that everyone keep a hold of these. These woods are quite large and we don't want to leave anyone behind."
Mr. Park hands Craig a map, and walks over to the next table, where Ashley has taken a seat. Derek beckons for Craig to come over to him.
"Oooh, paper," says Aubrey, picking up the map and a black colored pencil.
"I'll be back, guys," says Craig, hopping off the bench, heading towards Derek.
"What?" says Craig.
Derek folds his arms. "I need some advice."
"Umm...yeah?"
"Well, you're obviously into Ashley, and she's obviously into you. Yet, she's married, so you must have that special somethin' somethin'. I need that, because on the Darcy front, I'm making no progress."
Craig shakes his head. "You're out of your mind."
"Precisely. It's like these girls have their clamps on us, stop us from thinking rationally. They wiggle around in their little swimsuits or sundresses or anything tight, and we're gone. We don't think about the boundaries or anything like that. Or maybe...maybe it's because we're in the woods."
Craig eyes Derek. He's actually serious, he thinks. And just a bit scary.
"The woods?" questions Craig.
"Yeah, the wild. Where you live on your urges, act on instinct. It's like Vegas, only more green."
Craig grabs Derek's cell phone that's around his waist. "Can I use this?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
Craig hits Derek's head with the phone.
"Ow," moans Derek.
"Leave her alone," says Craig, walking back to Leslie's table which now holds Ashley, Paige, Aubrey, and Leslie.
"Fine!" shouts Derek. "See if I ever help you again."
Ashley blinks up at Craig. "How'd Derek help you?"
The bus seating chart flashes in his mind, but he covers with "He let me use his cellphone."
Leslie puts on her necklace, beads clattering.
"Craig made this for me," says Leslie.
"No girl can resist jewelry," says Craig, smiling at Ashley.
"Well, that was nice of him," says Ashley, grinning at Craig.
"I didn't know you made jewelry," speaks up Paige, fiddling with macaroni. "What other tricks do you have up your sleeve, Craig? Ventriloquism? Appearing out of thin air, into places where you don't belong?"
"Right now I really wish I could make someone disappear," replies Craig, smirking. "I've always thought that was pretty cool."
Paige sharply kicks Craig under the table. He winces, glances at Ashley, who takes a deep breath.
"Umm...so what are you making, Aubrey?" inquires Ashley.
"Nothing," says Aubrey. "Here's your map."
She hands Craig the map. He folds it, and places it in his pocket. The room buzzes with chatter, topics ranging from when they should start serving dinner to what the kids wanted to do for the showcase.
"Are you going to do anything in the showcase, Leslie?" asks Ashley.
"Ms. Park said it'd be good for me to participate," says Leslie.
"I think she's right," says Ashley, putting an arm around her.
Craig sees that Leslie is less than enthused as she twists her necklace in her hands. He wasn't sure what was going on with Jimmy and Ashley's daughter, and thought it better not to ask. Ashley did say this weekend was for her. Were their problems at home? Between Jimmy and Ashley? Ones that affected Leslie? No, he should probably just stop thinking.
"It's the best way to get an audience," says Craig. "They can't root for you if they don't get to see you.."
"Alright," says Leslie. "I'll do it."
Ashley hugs Leslie, and kisses her on the forehead. They go off, finding the sign-up sheet for the showcase. Craig stares after them.
"So how's Ellie, Craig?" asks Paige.
"Huh...Ellie?" says Craig.
Paige kicks him again.
"Stop!" says Craig. "What's your problem?"
"You know exactly what it is," says Paige, getting up from the bench.
"Grown-ups are weird," mumbles Aubrey, sticking a piece of macaroni in her ear.
Ellie grips her keys tightly, sliding them back and forth on the chain, staring at the black, emblazoned letters on the front of the building. WJTV. She straightens her black skirt, breathes, then pushes open the glass doors. She peers up at the monitors, showing statistics about deforestation, advances to an intern highlighting a document.
"Hi, I called earlier," says Ellie. "I asked to see Ms. Ashley Kerwin."
When she'd called earlier that day, she thought maybe it was possible to speak to Ash, that Ash would remember they used to be best friends, and it would be a teensy bit easier, seeing as Ellie didn't feel an intense dislike bubbling up in her whenever she saw Ashley on the news. With Emma, it was like her heart was being lightly stabbed by a needle. Plus, she misses Ash, no matter how awkward their first encounter would be. Maybe they could be friends again.
"Ms. Kerwin is away," announces the intern. "You'll be meeting with Ms. Nelson."
Ellie smiles politely. "Um, is there anyone else I could speak to?"
The intern gives her an annoyed look. "Not if you want to talk about advertising. You can sit down over there. I'll buz her."
"Thank you," replies Ellie, plopping down in a plush chair.
For a few minutes, Ellie watches the statistics scroll by, the occasional image of a depopulated forest being shown while somber classical music accompanies the pictures. She stares at her nails, then nervously taps her feet against the carpet. She looks down at her feet, then up to see Emma coming towards her, dressed in a white, cotton top and pink, dress pants.
"Good afternoon, Ellie," greets Emma, extending her hand. "Nice to see you."
Ellie shakes her hand, sure her own hand is pretty clammy. "Afternoon."
Emma doesn't say anything else, just indicates that Ellie should follow her to a room around the corner. They enter Emma's office, and Ellie is struck by how large it is, even though she knew Emma was head of the station. There are a couple of awards on one shelf, including a Gemini. Emma's desk holds several photographs...Snake and Spike, Jack in a Little League hockey uniform, her and Manny at some party...Sean...lots of pictures with her and Sean. Their wedding picture stands next to a small pot of sunflowers. Dressed in a crisp, black suit, Sean's arms wrapped around Emma, clad in a long, cream gown, both of them smiling on the beach. Ellie feels a lump in her throat.
"Water? Coffee?" says Emma, going over to a small table that held refreshments. "It's really hot out there."
"No thanks," says Ellie.
Emma takes her seat behind her desk, while Ellie sits in front of her in a comfortable-looking chair that was uncomfortable to her.
"Thanks for meeting with me," says Ellie.
"Sure. How can I help you?"
"So I'm here today," begins Ellie, sweat trickling down her neck. "Because Claremont bought one of our pictures."
"Congratulations. I heard that you were running a company."
"Um, thanks. They want us to do a PR campaign for it, and we were hoping WJTV could run some ads for the movie."
Emma raises her eyebrow. "What kind of film is it?"
"Oh...well, it's a slasher flick."
Emma licks her lips. "Ummm...not exactly family-friendly."
Ellie rubs her forehead, sweat covering her fingers. "Yeah, but it's...funny. Really funny. More Scary Movie than Carrie."
She watches Emma clasp her hands together, and glance up at the ceiling. Ugh, I just want to get this over with, thinks Ellie. Just tell me no so I can get out of here.
"I want to see the film," says Emma.
"Really?" says Ellie, sure that shock is registering in her voice.
"Yeah," replies Emma. "When WJTV advertised a couple of Manny's movies, I watched them and saw they were okay. I also think we should set up another meeting to discuss it more thoroughly."
"I'm not sure when I can meet with you...," begins Ellie, her eyes falling on the wedding picture again.
"So you're not interested?" questions Emma, watching Ellie's eyes.. "Or is it..."
Ellie looks away, shaking her head. It was ten years later, and they were still both hung up on Sean. But why not? He's amazing, thinks Ellie. And I let him go...to her.
"Come on, Ellie, we've always been...cordial to one another no matter the circumstances," says Emma. "I don't see why this has to be any different. How about you drop a tape to me Monday, and we'll meet Tuesday?"
Cordial in practice, not cordial in heart, she thinks. Ellie rubs under her eye, pretending there's a fallen eyelash, but hoping it will keep back the tears, at least for three more minutes.
"Yeah, that's fine," says Ellie. "Thank you."
"Okay," says Emma, shifting some paper. "I'll just take out my appointment book."
A couple magazines fall as Emma takes her appointment book from the pile. Ellie kneels down to catch them. One is an import, Sierra Club Magazine with an endangered bird on the cover. The other, a parenting magazine with a special article on infants. Ellie's eyes burn as she stares at a smiling, happy baby playing with a doll.
"Oops," says Emma, as Ellie hands her the magazines. "Research."
Ellie folds her hands in her lap, her heart racing.
"So will Tuesday at three-thirty be okay?" asks Emma.
"Yeah...fine," says Ellie quietly. "I'm sorry...but I have this thing to go to."
Ellie stands, nearly knocking over her chair.
"Sorry," she says, making sure the chair is straight. "I'll see you Tuesday."
"Have a good one!" yells Emma behind her.
Her boots clapping loudly down the hall, Ellie walks briskly to the exit, ignoring the intern's farewell. She walks across the street, sits down on the curb near a convenience store, and finally lets the tears out. She wipes them with her sleeve, realizes she's hungry, enters the store. Going through the aisle, she picks up some pretzels, retrieves a Coke, heads to the counter.
"Will that be all, ma'am?" says the guy behind the counter, looking into her red eyes.
"Umm," says Ellie, leaning forward. "Do you have any razor blades?"
Craig looks on as Ashley smushes a marshmallow onto a graham cracker, then adds a chocolate bar, then another graham cracker. He watches Paige do the same thing, then bite hungrily into it, goo all over the sides of her mouth. Leslie, sitting between Craig and Ashley, gives Craig a confused look. They're all seated on logs around a campfire, roasting marshmallows, with a few people setting up a wooden stage for the showcase.
"Aren't you going to eat one?" asks Leslie, handing him the bag of marshmallows.
"Uhh," says Craig, staring at it.
Ashley laughs. "I thought you went to camp."
"Yeah, rich kid camp," says Craig. "We had to eat health food."
"You're not a camper if you don't eat a smore," chastises Darcy, eating a Hershey bar straight out of the wrapper.
"Darcy's right," agrees Ashley. "Give into temptation and go for it."
Craig sighs as Darcy hands him one. "My diet."
"Do it! Do it! Do it!" chants Darcy, Paige, Ashley, and Aubrey.
Leslie nods at him to follow their command. Craig bites into it, chews for awhile.
"Mmm, what have I been missing?" says Craig, stuffing the rest into his mouth.
They all laugh. Ms. Park arrives, carrying a clipboard. She taps Leslie and Aubrey, who get up and make their way towards the stage. Darcy follows them, leaving Paige, Ashley, and Craig alone.
"Uh, Darcy," says Paige, after finishing a fourth smore. "Where are you going?"
"You'll see," replies Darcy, zipping up her sweater.
"Spinner dated that girl?" muttered Paige, shaking her head.
Paige rubs her stomach, and Craig hears a slight gurgle. She burps, looks like she's going to puke at any second. Craig holds back a laugh.
"You okay, Paige?" asks Ashley.
Her stomach gurgles louder.
"I think...I think I'm going to be sick," moans Paige, standing and rushing to a nearby latrine.
She slams the door behind her.
"Well, that was some exit," says Craig.
Ashley throws a twig into the fire. "She's been acting strange lately. I should keep an eye on her."
"But who's going to keep an eye on you?" says Craig, tossing in another twig.
"Nobody," replies Ashley, not looking at him. "I can take care of myself."
"Funny. I thought that was Jimmy's job," says Craig, watching the flames leap higher.
"What's that supposed to mean?" asks Ashley, glaring at him.
Craig sighs. "What are the pills for, Ash?"
Ashley stands up, brushes her hands, moves to another part of the log that's empty. Craig follows, intent on making her speak.
"That wasn't aspirin," whispers Craig. "What are they?"
"Craig, not now, okay?" says Ashley. "Leslie's about to perform."
"Just tell me what they are," says Craig. "Just tell me it's nothing."
"It's...it's nothing," stammers Ashley. "Leslie's up first."
Ashley stares straight forward, but Craig focuses on her. Why wasn't she telling him anything? Was she also hiding it from Jimmy? It wasn't nothing. It was something.
Ms. Park pounds the microphone, a loud bleep sounding throughout the woods. Leslie slouches on stage, not giving anyone eye contact. She has a weird look on her face, a face Craig recognizes from some of his earlier tour performances. Fear.
"Alright, everyone," says Ms. Park. "We're very pleased to have one of our brightest and most talented singers honor you with a performance tonight. Leslie Brooks."
There is a modest round of applause, and Ms. Park gives Leslie the microphone. Leslie looks out at the crowd, the hand without the microphone shaking. Her blue eyes shine as if tears are about to spill out.
"Oh no," breathes Ashley.
Leslie runs off the stage, giving Darcy the microphone. Ashley leaps up, and after a few moments, Craig goes to find them. Leslie had run pretty far into the woods. Ashley clutches a crying Leslie, Ashley kneeling down and patting her back.
"I couldn't...couldn't do it," cries Leslie in a soft voice. "I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," comforts Ashley. "It's alright to get nervous."
"Of course it's alright to get nervous," interjects Craig. "All good musicians have had stage fright."
"Really?" says Leslie.
"Yeah," says Craig. "Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Jimi Hendrix. They all had it."
"Who are they?" asks Leslie.
"They're legends," explains Ashley. "But yeah, they had it."
Craig kneels down next to Leslie. "And they knew the secret."
"What secret?" says Leslie, turning to Craig.
"They knew that sometimes nerves can be used to put in that extra energy, to make the performance extra good. They knew the nerves were really just excitement, like sparks to get them going."
Leslie sniffles. "Sparks?"
"Yeah, right here," says Craig, pointing to her heart. "They just needed to look down deep inside and realize it was okay."
"Okay to what," says Leslie.
"Okay to shine," answers Craig.
Ashley smiles at him, while Leslie appears to be thinking hard about everything he just said. He hopes it worked. He didn't even really know what he'd been saying, but he did remember that was how he felt taking the stage the first time, when he sang to Ashley. Who would forgive someone for cheating on them? Even though Ashley had made his life miserable for that time he spent with Manny, he had written the lyrics because he knew she deserved it. She deserved a lot more than he could offer. The nerves helped him sing that day, clear, with passion. He watched her face, and it gave him more. The words fell out, and when she told him the lyrics were just right, he felt like a light shone on his heart.
"Would you sing with me?" asks Leslie.
Craig blinks back at her, then smiles. "Sure. I've got some lyrics and music in my pack."
They head back to the stage, where Aubrey is twirling around, then standing on her tiptoes, her toes perfectly pointed. She does one more twirl, as the theme to Swan Lake stops. Everyone claps. Craig sees Darcy clapping more enthusiastically as he takes some sheet music and a tape out of his bag.
"Ms. Park," whispers Craig to Ms. Park, who is at the edge of the stage. "Leslie and I would like to sing, if that's alright."
"That's more than alright," replies Ms. Park. "Go ahead."
Ashley sits on the front log, crossing her ankles. Paige joins her, massaging her stomach.
"Can I use your cell?" asks Paige.
Ashley nods, hands her the phone. Ms. Park retrieves a second microphone for Craig, and puts the CD in the CD player. Light, acoustic music flows throughout the space, the echo sounding against the trees. The stars twinkle as the guitar on the CD strums. Craig looks down at Leslie, who appears less nervous, her shoulders back, eyes on her mother.
"Today is long. Flight and song, but I don't even listen. Blue bird hides. Piece of night. I don't even try," sings Leslie.
Craig is struck by how beautiful her voice is, a higher pitch and softer tone than Ashley's, but still as vibrant and soulful. She's also reading the music remarkably well. He barely makes his cue, listening to it, but sings:
"Every mama gone missing. Every papa gone mad. I take a chance."
Leslie holds her head up higher, the microphone over her mouth.
"It's not romance, but something more important. So give me wings. Let me sing. It's all been done before," sings Leslie.
Ashley looks at both of them, her eyes glittering.
"For any girl that's unhappy. For any boy that is bad. Every mama gone missing. Every papa gone mad," sings Craig, peering at Ashley, then down at Leslie.
"I take a chance," finishes Leslie, smiling at Craig.
They end, and everyone is on their feet, Ashley the first to rise. Paige rises, but still looks ready to hurl. Other kids come up on stage, and clap Leslie on the back.
"Your voice is good," says Winston, blushing a little.
"Yeah," agrees Warren. "You want to see a dead turtle?"
"Um, okay," says Leslie, though Craig knows that by her face she's not that excited. "Aubrey, you want to come?"
Aubrey pulls off her ballet shoes. "Is it a female? They're more interesting."
"Don't know," says Leslie.
"I'll come anyway," says Aubrey.
The kids brush by Craig, who just shrugs at Ashley.
"Okay, we have one more act," yells Ms. Park, again making a loud beep that makes the crowd shudder. "Sorry. Darcy and Derek will honor us with a song."
Darcy bounces on to the stage, throwing back her hair. Derek makes some sort of gangsta sign, then shakes Craig's hand. Craig rolls his eyes, then sits next to Paige on the log. Music begins pounding out of the speakers, and Darcy dances, does the Cabbage Patch. Derek does a move similar to the Funky Chicken.
"A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just goin' to happen like that
Because I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl" yells Darcy into the microphone.
"Oooh, ooh, this my shhh...this my shhhh!" sings Derek, more yelling than singing.
A few little girls behind Craig and Ashley start dancing, getting into the song. Ashley covers her ears.
"Ugh, she sings this song everyday at work," moans Ashley.
Derek tries to get Darcy to dance with him, but she pushes him away.
"Now I'm really going to throw up," says Paige. "Gwen Stefani is so tired."
Craig and Ashley both laugh, then glance at Leslie, over to the side of the stage, still chatting with the other kids.
"Thank you," says Ashley, looking at Craig as the fire starts to die down.
"You're welcome," says Craig.
The wind blows embers towards them, lighting each of their faces. Then, the embers fall, as the last strains of music fill the forest.