XII. Quiet Storm
Soft and warm, a quiet storm
Quiet as when flowers talk at break of dawn, break of dawn
A power source of tender force
Generatin', radiatin', turn me on, turn me on
Ah, you short-circuit all my nerves
Promisin' electric things
You touch me and suddenly there's rainbow rings
Quiet storm blowin' through my life, uh huh
Quiet storm blowin' through my life, ah
Blow, baby
A windy sigh, weak am I
Butterfly caught up in the hurricane, hurricane
Lucky me, I'm barely free
Suddenly I'm caught up in your sound rain
Ah shower me with your sweet love
I will bathe in every drop through all the seasons
Let it pour and never stop
Quiet storm blowin' through my life, through my life
You're just like a
Quiet storm blowin' through my life
Ah, shower me with your sweet love
I will bathe in every drop through all the seasons
Let it pour and never stop
Quiet storm blowin' through my life, through my life
You're just like a
Quiet storm blowin' through my life
Blow, baby
The sun pokes through the clouds and seems to blare down on the exact spot where Ashley stands. She wipes her forehead with her hand, hoping that the day will grow less hot as everyone prepares for the hike. In the middle of the group, Ashley watches as people strap on or put in rolled up tents, depending on the size. The schedule for today is packed, though Ashley has no idea what half the exercises entail. She reads the schedule again: Communication Discovery, Finding Your Method, Green and Growth. She feels like she's stepped into an education textbook. There are a couple things she's glad to recognize: swimming, this time in a different spot, and Instrument Construction, which she guesses involves making drums out of items from the woods.
Paige is seated on a tree stump, bent over, her long blonde hair almost touching the grass.
"Still feeling bad?" asks Ashley, patting her back.
"Hold on," says Paige, then making a gagging noise. "Okay. Period of nausea gone."
"Maybe there's a place where you can lie down," suggests Ashley. "You're kind of green."
Paige holds up her hands in protest. "No...no, I'm here for you. I called Spin and told him I was fine."
"How long have you been throwing up?" inquires Ashley.
"Hon, don't worry about it," says Paige.
In the distance, Ashley can hear tires screeching, then a small, blue car shows up, right in front of the arts and craft cabin. Spinner, dressed in a light orange polo shirt and jeans, hops out of the car, looking very concerned. Paige sits up, trying her best to look pleasant.
"Honeybee, what are you doing here?" asks Paige, smiling.
Spinner shakes his head. "In the car...now."
Ashley gives Spinner a stunned look. She didn't remember Spinner ever being that forceful with Paige.
"Spinner, there's nothing wrong with...," starts Paige.
"Uh, yeah, that's why you're all pale and sweaty," says Spinner. "We're going to a doctor."
"No," says Paige. "And hello, it's hot. Reason for sweat."
"I'm worried. You sounded bad on the phone."
"Well, don't be."
Paige bumps Spinner and goes to pick up her backpack. Spinner takes it from her, and carries it to the car.
"Gavin, give me that!" yells Paige, causing people to stare. "Give me that!"
Spinner throws it in the back, goes around and opens the door for Paige. Paige sulks, throws Ashley an apologetic glance.
"It's okay," says Ashley. "And he cares. Go on."
Paige trudges to the car, and slams the door, shooting Spinner an evil stare. Spinner waves bye to Ashley, slamming on the brakes, the car weaving out of the sight. Craig comes up afterwards, shouldering his backpack.
"Did I miss anything?" he asks.
"Yeah, my bodyguard was abducted," says Ashley. "By her husband."
"Pity," says Craig, smiling.
Ashley can tell he's a bit relieved. To her surprise, so is she. Craig had played the perfect gentleman, more than the perfect gentleman really. He was being amazing with Leslie, courteous to her. He was right. Paige wasn't necessary. But maybe she wanted Paige to be necessary. Ashley blushes at the thought, then searches for Leslie. She is gabbing with some of her newfound friends, Winston staring shyly at her.
"So I guess she doesn't need me anymore," pouts Ashley.
"Awww, give her some time," says Craig. "That's what happened with Joey and Ang. They get attached, then go off on their own, then come back. With really annoying, wannabe rocker boyfriends."
Ashley laughs. "Uh-oh, overprotective brother."
"Hey, I'm allowed," defends Craig. "He has a red mohawk, and all these ugly piercings."
"Don't judge a book by its cover."
"He listens to Creed."
"Okay...yeah, no, that's just gross. Hope for a break-up."
They laugh, as Ms. Park heads to the front of the group. She blows the whistle, and half the kids scream.
"Sorry," she says. "Okay, today, we'll be traveling to the Star Point camping ground to do our exercises. Our exercises will continue the next morning, so I trust everyone brought a reliable tent. Our maps guide us directly to the location, and we'll be in one big group. It's best to pick a buddy, though. Okay, follow me."
Ashley starts to move towards Leslie, but sees that Aubrey has already snatched her hand. Derek nods at Darcy, who nods back.
"Buddy?" says Ashley to Craig.
"Buddy," says Craig.
Casey, in white, tight shorts, runs over to Craig, carrying a Louis Vuitton bag.
"Buddy?" inquires Casey, licking her teeth.
"Taken," says Craig, holding up Ashley's hand, a warm surge going through Ashley's body.
Casey smacks her lips, then leaves. Craig doesn't let Ashley's hand go for a few seconds. It's the first physical contact that they've had all trip really, and Ashley is disappointed when he lets go. She clears her throat.
"Do you have a map?" she asks.
"Yep, and a compass," replies Craig.
The group starts to move, the sun following them, and Ashley feels faint in the heat. She lags behind, Craig lagging behind as well, grinning at her once in a while. Leslie's at the front of the pack, but looks back at one point and waves at Ashley.
"See, she still knows you're alive," says Craig.
Ashley smiles. "Yeah."
They reach a fork in the road. Ms. Park peers to the left, then the right, then down at the map. Ashley rubs her knees, feels a slight pressure running from her ankles to there.
"These shoes," mutters Ashley.
"What's up?" says Craig.
"Jimmy bought me these shoes," says Ashley. "They're cute, but not really good for hiking."
"I'll stay back with you," says Craig, shrugging.
Ashley smiles, and they walk again as the group heads right. For the next fifteen minutes, everyone goes on, but then shortly after they reach a large oak tree, kids start complaining about food.
"I want some chips!" exclaims one girl, plumping down on the rock.
"Me too!" yells a boy beside her.
A few more children cry out, and Ashley settles on a rock, eager to rest her feet.
"Alright, alright," says Ms. Park. "But we're losing time. Let's stop for a minute, enjoy the scenery, and Mr. Park will pass out some trail mix."
The kids cheer. Darcy whoops.
"I love trail mix," says Darcy. "I ate it all the time at Bible camp. Raisins are for praisin'!"
Darcy walks off to get one. Derek stares behind her, awestruck.
"She is so amazing," says Derek, catching up with her.
Ashley chuckles, then spies a nearby brook. Glancing quickly at the group, she slips off her shoes and goes to wiggle her feet in the water. The rocks on the water's edge feel cool against the soles of her feet. Birds twitter above her.
"Do they hurt that bad?" says Craig, who had followed her.
Startled by his voice, Ashley pulls up her feet quickly, pounding her ankle against a large grey stone. She winces. Craig massages her ankle, causing her to wince some more.
"Okay, now it really hurts," moans Ashley.
Craig makes to pick her up, but Ashley pushes away his arms.
"What?" says Craig.
"I can walk...or limp probably," says Ashley, standing. "Don't trouble yourself."
Craig helps her up, and Ashley limps to the clearing where everyone is. Or was. They were gone.
"They left us!" exclaims Ashley.
"What!" exclaims Craig. "You didn't tell anyone where you were going?"
"No," says Ashley. "Okay...it's alright. Just pull out your map."
Craig gets the map, and Ashley watches his face twist in confusion.
"What are all these black squiggles?" says Craig. "There's like five different ways to get to Star Point on here."
"She said there was only one way," says Ashley, looking down at the map. "Did you just doodle on your map?"
Craig runs a hand through his hair. "Aubrey."
"Aubrey?"
"She thought this was paper, and scribbled all over it, I bet."
Ashley groans, limps around the clearing, hoping for any sign that would show where the group had wandered off to. No footprints, trail mix crumbs, nothing. A squirrel hops on the rock she was sitting on originally.
"Hello?" yells Ashley. "Hello?"
Craig laughs. "Who are you yelling at, Ash? The squirrels?"
Ashley frowns at him. "This isn't funny. We're lost."
"It's not a big deal. I'll call someone on my cell. I...oh," says Craig.
"What?"
"I leant my phone to Mr. Park so he could check on the bus for pick-up tomorrow."
"And I leant my phone to Paige, and I stupidly forgot to ask for it back."
Craig blows out a deep breath. "We'll find them. We'll just...follow our instincts."
He tries to read the map again, pulls out the compass. Ashley fixes the collar of her flannel shirt, which she had thrown on in haste when the morning started off cold. She is just about to pull it off when Craig speaks.
"Hmm, well, I think it's...that way," says Craig, pointing to the left of the rock.
He aims his compass and starts to walk. Ashley picks up her bag, walks after him, her ankle feeling slightly better.
"How do you know?" says Ashley.
"I don't," says Craig, honestly. "But I'm taking a chance."
Ashley stalls, remembering their talk on the ferris wheel about her not taking chances, that Craig said was still in her to do it. Well, there was still time to do exactly that, to go with her gut.
"Fine," says Ashley, walking alongside him.
A frog croaks and jumps right in front of Ashley as they come to a meadow near a small stream. She lurches back, stops, watches Craig march confidently ahead.
"Keep up, Kerwin!" he shouts, smiling back at her.
"Are you getting some sick pleasure out of this?" says Ashley, throwing off her pack. "Because I'm not."
The same frog jumps on her feet, his slimy butt touching her shoe. Ashley screams, limps fast about ten yards, hearing Craig chuckle behind her. The frog disappears behind a tree, and Ashley comes back.
"Yeah, that gave me a little pleasure," says Craig, still laughing.
"I'm glad you're being so entertained," says Ashley, frowning. "Because I'm hot...tired...and yeah, just a bit hungry."
Craig takes off his pack, unzips it, tosses her a granola bar. "From Paige."
Ashley bites into it, not looking at him. "I wish we could ask someone for directions."
"I could ask the frog. He seems to like you."
"Ohhh, my feet," says Ashley, rubbing her knee. "Why can't you go slower?"
"It's getting late and it's not my fault Jimmy got you sucky shoes."
Ashley glares at him. "They're not sucky...they're pretty."
Craig picks up his pack, then hers, even though Ashley tries to grab for hers. "Just be a good buddy and keep up, then."
They start across the meadow, flies buzzing around them. Ashley swats them away, managing better. She doesn't know how she's finding the strength. Halfway through, however, a throbbing pain shoots up her leg.
"Okay...stop please," whimpers Ashley, throwing herself on the grass, hair falling in her face.
Craig aims his compass, paying no attention to Ashley. Ashley stands, whirls Craig around, takes his compass and throws it. Craig's mouth falls open.
"You...you threw my compass!" exclaims Craig. "Ellie gave me that."
"I don't care...I mean, sorry, but I can't walk anymore!" shouts Ashley.
"You're giving up?" asks Craig.
"Yeah...yeah, I am."
"Figures," mutters Craig, turning his back to her.
Ashley makes him turn around again. "Excuse me?"
Craig tosses the map down angrily. Ashley shrinks back a little.
"I thought you wanted us to be together!" yells Craig as the wind blows the grass around them.
"Yeah, as friends!" exclaims Ashley.
"Yeah, well, I'm sick of being your buddy."
"Craig," says Ashley, a lump in her throat. "This isn't the time or place."
"Um, hello?" says Craig. "There's no one around!"
Ashley scratches her neck. "Yeah, well..."
"Yeah, well, nothing! Answer me."
Clouds start to cover the sun, which Ashley is grateful for. What she isn't grateful for is the hurt look on Craig's face. Yes, she wanted to be with him. Why did he think she let him invite himself here? Or watch him perform? Or sing with him? But there were so many reasons, so many reasons not to do it. Jimmy, Leslie, Ellie. But something keeps her from telling him that, that there's no chance.
"I'm married," says Ashley. "I'm married, Craig."
"No, you're not," says Craig.
"Yes...yes I am!" yells Ashley, shoving him lightly. "I made a choice."
"Yeah, the wrong one," says Craig. "You're not happy. I'm not happy. I'm betting Jimmy is only slightly happy. Some marriage."
"I wouldn't trade Leslie for anything," says Ashley.
"But you'd trade me," says Craig, glaring at her. "We're meant for each other, Ash."
Ashley feels a tear forming in her eye. "No...no," she says, shaking.
"Yes...yes, we are," whispers Craig, pulling her closer. "That's why you came to my studio, why I'm here now."
"Stop it!" shouts Ashley.
"I can't move on. I tried. But I want you. Just tell me that...that there's hope."
Ashley cover her eyes, cries into his chest. "I can't."
Craig separates from her, leans in, tries to kiss her. Ashley moves her face, then lightly slaps Craig, more a tap on the cheek than a hard slap. Craig touches where she hit him, and looks down at her. Ashley sobs.
"Don't put me through this," whispers Ashley. "Don't put me through it."
A single tear slides down Craig's face. He coughs, then unlatches the tent from his pack and starts setting it up. The meadow is silent, except for the wind, which is getting louder, blowing more intensely. Ashley thinks she feels a rain drop glide down her arm, but maybe it's a tear.
The grass tickles Ashley's arm as she stretches out on the ground. Craig had built a fire where there was no grass, not looking at her the whole time, and the rain had held off. As soon as the sky turned a dark blue, Craig ducked into the tent, leaving Ashley to sit in front of the flames, trying her best to control her crying. By this time, she has started to settle down, peering up at the sky, watching the black clouds roll by. Then, she hears a low rumble of thunder.
"Just what I need," says Ashley, pulling her flannel shirt close to her chest, a slight chill flowing through her.
She hears the flap of the tent, turns to see Craig looking at her. She turns back to the flames.
"Go away," says Ashley.
"Ash!" says Craig. "It's about to storm."
"I don't care."
Rain starts to come down, pelting Ashley. She sneezes, but lets the rain continue to soak her. She hears the flap close, then open again.
"Ash, please get in here!" yells Craig over another rumble of thunder.
"No!" she yells back.
"Ashley, you have to be the most stubborn person...you'll get sick!"
"So what?"
"Get in here! I won't talk to you, okay?"
Craig closes the flap again.
The fire begins to peter out, and she sighs. She grudgingly walks to the tent He better keep his word, she thinks, ducking inside. Craig is sprawled across the floor of the tent, laying down. It's a decent-sized tent so Ashley can maneuver around without touching him. She sees that he has on his leather jacket. He tosses her another blanket, then puts a kerosene lamp between them.
"You're not cold?" she says, then remembering that yeah, she shouldn't be talking to him.
Craig raises his eyebrow, but talks anyway, in a casual tone. "I'm fine. You're wet. Jacket's warm."
"A jacket isn't a blanket," says Ashley, still forgetting the no-talking rule.
She holds part of the blanket open for him, and he slowly puts it around him. Ashley tries to scoot over more, but they wind up bumping heads.
"Ow," says Ashley, laughing a little, then putting on a serious face.
"Well, we usually bump heads," says Craig, rubbing his brow.
Ashley nods, then checks her hair.
"Eww, leaf," she says, taking a small leaf out of a patch of wet hair. "Wind must've put 'em there."
"You've got some back here too," observes Craig, fingering the back of her hair.
"Can you?"
"Yeah."
Ashley leans forward, rests her head on his chest, as Craig pulls out some leaves. He takes out the last leaf, Ashley raising her eyes to his face. Her nose is almost touching his, and she can feel Craig's breath on her chin. She strokes his cheek, bites her lip, then presses her lips to his. Before she knows it, her lips are moving with his, and he puts his hands on the back of her neck, closing his eyes. She isn't thinking. It's that sensation that's been missing, for so long. It's here. It's found her. Craig stops for a minute, breathing hard.
"Sorry," he says.
"No...I kissed you," says Ashley, drawing him back to her. "And I want you."
Craig kisses her again, throws down the blanket, hands moving down her back. Ashley moans, slipping off Craig's jacket, puts it near the blanket. Craig smiles, moves the wet hair from her face, then kisses her neck. If she were listening, she could hear the rain rapping against the material of the tent, but she's only listening to the sound of her heart.
"This flannel...it's itching," breathes Ashley, staring down at the blanket as Craig kisses her.
"I can help you with that," whispers Craig, pulling away, then peeling the flannel off her skin.
It makes a squelching sound, exposes a cotton shirt, which he gets off quickly too. Ashley tugs at his shirt, and he helps her take it off. He inches her down to the blanket, making his jacket a pillow for her head. Her pulse quickens as Craig kisses her again. She shivers.
"Are you cold?" asks Craig.
"No," says Ashley. "I'm warm...warm all over."
Craig grins, and buries his head in her chest, starting to unfasten her bra. It comes off with ease. Ashley blushes as he moves it down her shoulder. Their breathing becomes more rapid, as Craig traces a finger down past her navel, to her belt. Ashley clutches Craig's face, peers up into his eyes. He kisses her intensely, starting to undo the belt.
It feels right, thinks Ashley. Every touch. She didn't feel emptiness, sadness, or longing, just a warm and tender touch. Craig knew her. Everywhere. Every pore, limb, heartbeat. And her heartbeat matched his. Then why? Why did her head start to hurt, her knees start to shake?
"Jimmy," whispers Ashley, after hearing Craig moan in her ear.
"So not the name I want to hear right now," whispers Craig, taking his hand from her belt.
Ashley sits up, putting the blanket over her chest. Her heart starts to slow down, no longer passionately beating. Craig sits up as well, his hair tousled, sweat pouring down his chest. She no longer hears the rain outside.
"We can't, Craig," says Ashley. "I can't do this to him. And Ellie...we just can't."
Craig doesn't respond, pulls on his shirt, then his jacket, barely looking at her.
"Say something," begs Ashley.
"I need...I need some air," says Craig, grabbing the lamp.
He exits the tent. Ashley flops to the floor of the tent hard, staring at the finger that would've held her wedding ring.
Ashley awakes to the sound of a bird hooting, maybe an owl going in as night gives way to day. Her body aches, though it's not pain; it's a warm, steady ache knowing that she couldn't be with Craig the night before. She rubs her head against his leather jacket, then starts to get dressed. She throws the blanket over her to protect her against the morning cold. After finishing, she leaves the tent, seeing Craig sitting near the remains of the fire he started. He started a fire in me too, thinks Ashley sadly, also looking at the charred, burnt sticks.
A grey mist surrounds them, but Ashley can see him clearly in the fog.
"We're decent people, Ash," says Craig. "We care about them. So what do we do?"
"I don't know," says Ashley, shivering.
"We can't go on like this. We're either flirting or fighting or...taking each other's clothes off."
Ashley looks down. "It's complicated."
"I...I can break up with Ellie," says Craig, staring at Ashley. "I can't string her along anymore. I care about her too much."
Craig stares at Ashley, expectantly.
"Um," begins Ashley. "I'll..."
"You'll?" encourages Craig.
"It's going to take some time," says Ashley. "But after last night, yeah. Okay?"
"Okay...okay, I'll wait," says Craig, smiling, not needing to hear the rest.
Suddenly, they hear a horn beep. A red truck drives up to them from out of nowhere, and Ashley sees Derek and Mr. Park in the driver's seat. Derek gets out of the truck, and jogs to them.
"Dude!" says Derek. "Everyone's in a panic. Don't worry, Ash. Leslie's alright, but man, were we worried. You guys walked all the way to like Route 32. It's just past this meadow. Someone said they saw Craig walking around with a lamp, phoned us."
Craig throws Ash a look, but starts collecting his things.
"Our map was messed up," says Ashley. "One of the kids drew on it."
"Oh," says Derek, though Ashley hears a bit of disbelief.
"It's true, Derek," says Craig.
Derek shrugs, then goes back to Mr. Park, who is changing a tire on the truck.
"I'll buy you a new compass," whispers Ashley. "Just tell me the kind Ellie got you."
Craig shakes his head. "Nah, I love the path we took."