XXVI. I'll Be There
I'll Be There is the property of the Jackson Five.
You and I must make a pact
We must bring salvation back
Where there is love
I'll be there
I'll reach out my hand to you
I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name
And I'll be there
I'll be there to comfort you
I'll build my world of dreams around you
I'm so glad I found you
I'll be there with a love so strong
I'll be your strength
You know I'll keep holding on
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness well it's all I'm after
Just call my name
And I'll be there
I'll be there to protect you
With an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name
And I'll be there
If you should ever find someone new
I know she better be good to you
'Cause if she doesn't
Then I'll be there
Don't you know baby
I'll be there
I'll be there
Just call my name
And I'll be there
I'll be there baby
You know I'll be there
Just call my nameAnd I'll be there
Just look over your shoulder
Just call my name
And I'll be there
The loud hum of the helicopter buzzes through Craig's ears as Pete makes a sharp right. They'd been up in the air for what seemed like hours. Mickey had called information to get directions for them. The flight to Vancouver was a breeze, but this, thinks Craig. He unbuckles his seatbelt, stumbles to Pete.
"Craig!" yells Mickey. "Sit back down!"
Craig waves Mickey off, sits in the seat next to Pete's.
"Technically, you can't do that!" yells Pete.
"Well, technically, I'm frantic right now," replies Craig. "How much further?"
"Not much," replies Pete. "I'm trying to figure out where we can touch down. The airport?"
"We gotta go straight to Lincoln," says Craig. "I don't know how much time she has. The parking lot?"
"Cool," says Pete, nodding and smiling. "Just like the movies."
Mickey harrumphs. "We're not touching down in the hospital parking lot. That'll break at least one security rule. We'll get fined or arrested."
"Come on, Mick," says Pete, glancing back at him for a second. "The kid's in love."
"Mickey, please," begs Craig, staring at him.
Mickey sighs. "I must be as crazy as you, Craig. Land near Lincoln."
Craig smiles, and is pleased to see that Pete is gearing up for a descent. He buckles himself into the seat, his heart beating fast. The thought of Ashley lying on a hospital bed, gasping for breath, thinking he didn't care is more than he can handle. Her last words to him, "I hate you", rang in his mind. Sure, it was said in anger, but it kills him. He has to tell her that he's sorry, that she can rely on him.
Pete pulls up the wheel, and the helicopter lowers to the pavement.
"Journalists!" yells Pete. "We don't wanna land on them."
"Forget them!" shouts Craig. "Go!"
Pete looks to Mickey for confirmation.
"You heard him. If they don't move, mow 'em down!" exclaims Mickey.
Thankfully, the journalists scatter, running from the helicopter, though they stare back, intrigued. Pete lands safely, and Craig thanks him, hopping out. Lincoln. It looks cold and desolate, the last place he wants Ashley to be. The journalists try to ambush him, but he runs, through the double doors, down a long stretch of hallway, hearing the beeps of machines, several cries of anguish, the wheels of gurneys moving. He reaches the front desk, out of breath.
"Hi," he stutters to a startled nurse. "Ashley...Ashley Kerwin...brought in...where is she?"
The nurse stands with her mouth open, not answering.
Craig sighs, looks behind him, and sees a woman being rushed on a gurney.
"Ashley?" he calls, peering over a medic's shoulder to see if it's her.
It's not.
"Stand aside, sir," says the medic. "There's been a big train accident. We need this passage way open. Let's move, people."
He and two other medics rush the gurney past Craig. Craig goes back to the nurse.
"This train accident...it doesn't affect...I mean, someone's still going to be working on other people, right?"
"They're our top priority, sir," says the nurse.
"But my girlfriend just had a heart attack!" exclaims Craig. "What kind of place is this? Look, just tell me where she is."
"Calm down, sir," says the nurse.
"I've been freaking calm all day, and I don't know anything!" yells Craig.
Suddenly, he hears someone call his name.
"Craig! Craig!" shouts Ellie, further down the hallway.
Craig runs down to Ellie. Ellie throws herself into his arm, cries hysterically.
"Craig...Craig, it was horrible," sobs Ellie. "She was standing one minute, and then...then she fell. I held her hand on the ambulance on the way here, and she'd just give me...this blank look. And I don't have anyone's number so..."
"Did they tell you anything?" asks Craig.
"No...we just got separated. They put that breathing mask thing on her, to help her breathe. She was on a bed the last time I saw her. They won't tell me anything."
Craig feels his heart drop, runs a sweaty hand over his head. He hears doors open, and there she is, on a gurney rolling towards the emergency room, her hair draping over the sides. It's the most terrifying image he could think of. Ellie puts a hand to her mouth, shaking. Craig moves along with the gurney, taking her hand.
"Ashley," he whispers, squeezing her hand.
"Excuse me, sir, but who are you?" asks a man who Craig identifies as the doctor.
"I'm her boyfriend," answers Craig. "What's going on? Where are you taking her? Why aren't you telling us anything?"
The doctor looks down, then speaks to the other people rolling her into the room.
"I'll be there in a moment," he says.
He turns to Craig, guides him to a corner.
"She's had a serious panic attack, but the reports of her having a heart attack have been grossly exaggerated. Panic attacks get mistaken for heart attacks all the time because the symptoms aren't that different. However, I have noticed some irregularities in her heartbeat, and in her blood work, so we're taking her for a stress EKG. I do need to know her medications. Normally, I'd ask a family member, but you and Ms. Nash are the only ones here presently, probably because of the back-up traffic due to the train accident."
"She was taking Tricyclin," says Craig. "Stress pills."
"Ah, unfortunately, the cause of some heart conditions among white collar employees," says the doctor. "That connected to the panic attack, not good. We're going to do the EKG, and some other tests. I'd call her family. She may be here awhile."
"Is...is she going to live?" chokes out Craig.
"Yes," says the doctor confidently. "I'm more worried about if she wants to. She took an absurd amount of medication based on the blood work. If she keeps doing that, it'll be fatal. We'll talk about alternatives for her some other time."
"Alternatives?"
"I have to attend to my patients. I promise we'll talk it out later."
The doctor walks quickly, disappears inside the emergency room. Ellie comes up next to Craig.
"How is she?" says Ellie.
"I think...okay, for now," replies Craig. "Um...we've to to call Kate and Robert and Chris and..."
Craig tries to get out the rest of the names, but begins to cry, slouches in a chair in the waiting room. Ellie rubs his shoulder. Craig sniffles.
"El...looking at her like that...," says Craig.
"I know. She'll be fine. We just have to believe it," comforts Ellie.
"I wanted to be here for her, through all of it. I wanted to protect her."
"You can't always protect someone," says Ellie.
"El, you don't get it," says Craig. "I told her to forget about me. I thought I was doing the right thing. Now she overdoses on these pills."
Craig's surprised to see Ellie's face glaze over, as if she's thinking of something darker, something haunting. She crosses her legs, her foot going back and forth.
"I told...I told Sean that I didn't want kids. I..I lost our baby, so I left him, and I thought it was the right thing. It wasn't. That's why I've been cutting."
Craig blinks back at her, puts an arm around her.
"Wow. I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm really sorry."
"You can't protect Ashley. She made a bad decision, just like me," says Ellie. "Show her that you still care. Be with her. It's never too late."
He hugs her again, this time relieved to not feel any tension coming from her. Her yelling at him a month ago about the camping trip seemed so long ago. At present, there are only hopeful glances between them, hope that friendship can heal fickleness. When Ellie smiles at him, he knows it can.
II.
Jimmy props his chin on his elbow, glances down at the tabletop. Carla mutters something, checks her watch. His father also peers at his Rolex, shifts his legs uncomfortably.
"Where is she?" moans Carla. "This isn't going to go well with the jury, so that's good. It's been twenty-five minutes."
"Shut up, Carla," says Jimmy.
"Jimmy, your manners!" chastises Mr. Brooks.
"Fine, please shut up," says Jimmy, angrily. "You put my kid on the witness stand!"
Carla's eyes flash. "It's a perfectly strategic move. It's won me four cases. You want to win, don't you?"
"I didn't give you the okay for that," says Jimmy. "She's five."
"And smart and sensitive," adds Carla. "She's the perfect ticket to win this case. You heard her. She wants to stay in the same house, has mixed feelings about Craig, everything that will work in our favor. Once I get you on the stand, the jury will see you are the one providing the more stable environment."
"My daughter is not a ticket, or a tool for your manipulation!" shouts Jimmy, the statement causing others to turn to him. "I'm getting some air."
Jimmy backs up from the table, passes the gawking observers, including Judge Winton. If Ashley felt as horrible as him watching Leslie take the stand, then she was probably outside. Well, if Carla wouldn't apologize for that, he would, no matter how much the sight of her made him want to cry.
"Mr. Brooks, we need to proceed shortly!" yells Judge Winton.
"Two minutes," Jimmy yells back, with the bailiff opening the door for him.
In the corridor, Jimmy feels a strange chill run through his body. He wheels to the front door of the bathroom, sees no one else but a woman emptying trash into a canister.
"Excuse me," says Jimmy. "Have you seen a tall, attractive woman in a grey, business suit?"
"Ashley Kerwin?" says the woman.
"Yeah."
"Wow, you guys didn't hear? Well, I guess, they locked down the area until they got her out. She fainted, or had some heart attack or something. The red-haired girl, the one that's a cutter, went with her to Lincoln Hospital."
Jimmy's stomach does somersaults. What could have caused a twenty-eight year old to have a heart attack? Was it Leslie's testimony, or Ellie...or him? He quickly wheels into the main courtroom, goes to the center of the room.
"Ashley's in the hospital!" he says.
There are continuous murmurs and cries. Leslie runs to her father, tears in her eyes. Mr. Brooks follows, an expression of fear on his face.
"What's wrong...what's wrong with Mommy?" she asks.
Kate and Robert rush towards him, Chris not far behind. Toby takes his car keys out of his pocket.
"Jimmy, what's the problem?" says Kate. "Where is she?"
"She's at Lincoln," says Jimmy. "A heart attack, I think."
"Oh God, help us," breathes Kate, burying her head in Robert's side.
"Let's go!" says Toby. "Chris, Robert, Kate."
"Take Leslie," says Jimmy.
"I don't think that's a good idea," interjects Mr. Brooks.
"Dad, she's going with them, alright!" shouts Jimmy. "I don't think I should be there, but Les needs to be there."
Mr. Brooks says nothing, goes back to Carla, who is talking animatedly with Judge Winton. Kate gives Jimmy a sympathetic look.
"Thank you," she says.
Robert picks Leslie up, and they follow Toby out of the courtroom with a fast pace. Jimmy hangs back, glances at Tia, who kneels next to him.
"This is all my fault," says Jimmy.
"No, it's not," says Tia. "And it was nice of you to let Leslie go with them. I think we should go too."
"Yeah, okay."
Tia kisses his cheek, removing the chilled feeling from Jimmy's body. Mr. Brooks raises his eyebrows when he sees this. Jimmy looks at the floor, embarrassed, by something he can't trace. His decisions? His attraction to Tia? Himself?
III.
Sean sands down a leg, then puts it into the hole of another board, dust spilling onto his shirt. Merl, his business partner, sticks a toothpick into his mouth.
"Are you ever going to go home?" asks Merl.
He's so tired of hearing that question. At least Merl seems to have given up relatively quickly, turning on the ratty TV on the cupboard with a remote. A reporter with a solemn face appears on the screen, an image of Ashley in a small box in the corner.
"And now some important news regarding Ashley Kerwin. Previous reports indicating that she'd experience a heart attack have proven to be false. However, she did have a panic attack, and has overdosed on medication that has rendered her unconscious for the time being. In an interesting turn of events, her former best friend, Ellie Nash, along with Craig Manning, were the first to arrive at the hospital. In quite a dramatic entrance, Craig Manning arrived in a helicopter, immediately rushing in to see about the woman he loves. We will keep you updated on this important story. In other breaking news, the train accident earlier this afternoon has claimed the lives of seven people thus far. Transporting the injured has caused traffic problems, stretching from Route seventy-nine to..."
"Ellie," says Sean, dropping the sandpaper he'd been holding.
"Smelly?" says Merl, sniffing his armpit. "I showered this morning."
Sean rolls his eyes. With Ashley in trouble, he knows Ellie would be depressed. She lost a baby, and what if she lost her best friend too? He starts removing his uniform, leaving only a wife beater and black pants. Merl watches him curiously.
"Where you going, man?" asks Merl. "You heard that news guy. Traffic's a mess right now."
"I'll find some way to get there," says Sean, pulling on a cap.
He leaves the garage, thankful to smell cleaner air rather than the stench of gas and lumber. It's clear from where he's standing that the roads are indeed a nightmore. Cars honk, people yell, profanities fly. There's no way I can get there, he thinks.
"Where's a helicopter when I need one?" complains Sean aloud.
"It's Eminem!" shouts someone to his left.
"What the...," starts Sean.
Vinnie, the guy from the drive-in, is being lead into a cop car, handcuffs around his hands, a bandage on his head.
"Where's Fiona?" he yells.
Sean walks over to him, stares into the backseat. Theresa, twirling her gum, waves at him.
"What are you going in for?" questions Sean.
"I don't have to answer to you!" exclaims Vinnie, then his voice softens. "I kinda stole a car. Just for a joyride. The owner hassled me. But my girl Theresa bit him."
Theresa giggles.
"Oh," says Sean. "So you're going down to the police station?"
"Yeah, but first, they're heading to Lincoln to pick up this other guy. A nice little detour."
"Can you do the flashy thing with the lights?" Theresa asks the driver.
Sean leans in, whispers to Vinnie. "I could really use a ride to Lincoln. Ellie...uh, Fiona needs me."
"Ah, no! Why should I do that?" says Vinnie, skeptically smirking.
Sean shrugs. "Because...because you and me, we're a lot alike. Arrests, joyrides, being judged. Please. I'm in a real tight spot."
Vinnie licks his lips. "I might need bail."
"Fine. Done."
Vinnie turns to the police officer who is advancing towards him, trying to get him inside.
"My brother," he lies, nodding his head towards Sean. "His girlfriend's in the hospital. That train accident thing. Can he catch a ride?"
The police officer thinks for a minute, huffs, opens the door for Sean.
"Thanks," says Sean, slipping in between Theresa and Vinnie.
The police officer turns on the siren, which delights Theresa. The car navigates beautifully through the traffic. Vinnie smiles happily at Sean.
"You should take me out for nachoes after I get out," he says. "You and little Miss Fiona."
IV.
The beeping of machines grow more and more intense with each passing minute. Ellie had gone to fetch coffee, while Craig sits in the same chair he fell into when arriving. It's been two hours, but luckily, he'd gotten in touch with Ashley's family, as well as Joey, who apparently had seen it on the news and was on his way. Suddenly, he hears feet clomping against the floor, and before he knows it, Kate, Robert, Chris, Toby, and Leslie are in front of them, looks of deep concern on all of their faces.
"Craig, have they told you anything yet?" says Kate. "We kept hearing heart attack, and then it wasn't, and then..."
"It wasn't a heart attack," says Craig "I'm just waiting to hear from..."
He stops when he sees Jimmy wheeling towards them, Tia accompanying him. Craig looks away, while Leslie goes to sit in her father's lap.
"How is she?" asks Jimmy.
"How'd you get here?" asks Toby, a look of annoyance on his face.
Craig sees that he's not the only one who isn't keen on Jimmy being there.
"Dad...Dad got the sheriff to give us a lift," says Jimmy, glancing quickly at Craig.
The doors to the emergency room opens, and Craig stands with the rest of them. The doctor appears, carrying a clipboard.
"Okay, the good news is that she's stable," says the doctor. "Her vital signs are good. However, she doesn't appear to be waking up. The EKG did show that the increased intake of these pills is affecting the organ, but it's not as serious as it could've been. If she continues to abuse this medication, however, it could be life-threatening. We believe she's still unconscious, because of repetitive panic attacks. It's mental with her. Once her stress level decreases, she should be conscious."
The nurse joins him, papers in her hand.
"We need her husband to sign some insurance papers," she says.
"That's...that's me," says Jimmy, fetching the paperwork from her.
"Can we see her?" says Kate, gripping Robert's arm.
"Certainly, but it has to be one at a time, you understand," replies the doctor, looking between Jimmy and Craig, a confused look on his face. "We put her in the room adjacent to the ER since it's packed in there right now. Um, so I assume her husband would like to be first..."
Craig stares at his feet. Throughout all of this, he had forgotten that Jimmy is really her husband, that he'd probably get more privileges. Him or Kate.
"Craig...Craig, you can go," says Jimmy softly. "I'll...I'll, um, do these forms."
Craig's unsure if his mouth's hanging open or not, but he does feel an electric current run throughout his body.
"Go," whispers Ellie.
Craig closes his mouth, looks at Kate.
"Kate?" says Craig.
"You were here first, so yeah, go," says Kate.
"Thanks, Jimmy," says Craig, smiling at him.
"Yeah...whatever," mumbles Jimmy, not looking back at Craig.
Craig walks down the hallway, pauses in front of the room. Taking a deep breath, he opens the door, hears it flutter behind him after he goes in. Ashley lays in a bed, small wires attached to her chest, wires attached to a machine to her right. Craig pulls up a stool, brushes her hair off her face. The gesture seems so pathetic to him, but he always instinctively did it. He did it a lot when they were in London together, when she first woke up each morning. But now...now she isn't awake.
Bags are under her eyes, and her lips are chapped, possibly because she's been gasping for breath. There's an aura of calmness around her, Craig feels, but it's a scary type of calm. It wasn't like when he was in the hospital and she was there. That was a beautiful calm, and they were staring into each other's eyes, sure of themselves. He remembers she slept there the whole night, right beside Joey. The nurse had told him so. She was a pretty blonde nurse, not that much older than him and Ashley.
"Your little girlfriend's outside," she said, fluffing Craig's pillow. "Offered her a blanket, but she's none too good on accepting kind gestures. Told me to give it to your stepfather."
Craig smiled, smoothed out his pajama pants. "Sounds like Ashley."
"Well, the poor thing looks so tired," said the nurse. "How long have you been dating?"
"We got back together like two weeks ago," said Craig.
"Now that's something! I wagered you guys were dating for a couple years at the most. You seem so serious."
Craig bit his lip. "We dated last year, but then I screwed up. I can't believe she gave me another chance."
"Sometimes you got to lose to know what you had."
"I'm basically living that," agreed Craig. "I just hope I don't lose her again."
"Oh, sweetie, you won't. You guys might grow up, marry others, but I can assure you, you never lose that first intense love. It's like the spark that lights the brushfire. You'll compare her to everyone else, and vice versa. That's just how these things work."
"Hopefully, I live up to the comparisons," said Craig, blushing slightly.
"Hopefully, they live up to you," said the nurse, earnestly.
The line indicating the rhythm of Ashley's heart goes up and down, a steady beat. Craig clasps her hands in his.
"I can't be without you, Ashley," he says, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You may not be able to hear me, but I need you to be with me. How could you do something so stupid? If you died, I...I.."
Ashley releases a deep breath out of her mouth. Her eyes slowly come open.
"Ash," whispers Craig, grinning. "Hey."
She coughs, turns to look at him, a shocked smile crossing her lips.
"I don't want you to see me like this," she says, a pained look in her eyes.
"Like what?"
"Weak."
Craig kisses her forehead. "You're not weak."
"Just stupid," says Ashley, indicating that she'd heard Craig speaking to her.
"Sorry. I just...you can't do stuff like that," says Craig. "From personal experience, you shouldn't mess with pills. I ditched mine, and...you know the rest."
"You left me," says Ashley, letting his hand go.
"And that was my stupid mistake," says Craig. "So we're even."
"You're back?" says Ashley. "For real this time?"
He kisses her lips lightly, feels her breath mingle with his.
"I'll be here until you get sick of me," says Craig.
"So you'll be here forever then," smiles Ashley.
"Forever works for me," says Craig.