XXXIII. Ain't No Mountain High Enough
Ain't No Mountain High Enough is the property of Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell.
Save Me From Myself is the property of Christina Aguilera.
Author's note: This chapter may contain elements that are a little more adult than others. It won't be that bad, though. Just be more cautious.
Listen, baby
Ain't no mountain high
Ain't no valley low
Ain't no river wide enough, baby
If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry
'Cause baby,
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
Remember the day
I set you free
I told you
You could always count on me
From that day on I made a vow
I'll be there when you want me
Some way,some how
'Cause baby,
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
No wind, no rain
My love is alive
Way down in my heart
Although we are miles apart
If you ever need a helping hand
I'll be there on the double
As fast as I can
Don't you know that
There ain't no mountain high enoughAin't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you
Don't you know that
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
"I figured since you've never gone to Malibu, this would come in handy," says Ellie, as Ashley tears off the wrapping paper.
Ashley takes out a very nice, black camera and gasps. "Thanks, El."
Ellie walks to her, gives her hug. Ashley returns the hug whole-heartedly, and looks down at her presents. Ellie has to admit it's quite a haul. Joey and Caitlin got her a small tape recorder that they made her promise to use only for something fun like singing; Toby and Estella got her a scrapbook if she ever got bored; her parents and Chris got her expensive stationary; Paige made her a beach bag, complete with sunglasses Spinner purchased; Derek bought her Malibu's Most Wanted, which he promised was a funny movie for whenever she got stressed.
"Thank you all for the wonderful gifts," says Ashley. "And thank you for the surfboard, Darcy. I've already packed, but I'll take this with me."
Darcy smiles happily. "As soon as I saw it, I thought of you. Black and purple."
Ellie rolls her eyes. It's black with a purple line right down the middle.
"When is she going to be doing any surfing?" asks Derek, stroking Robertia's back, obviously annoyed.
"When is she going to watch your lame movie?" snaps Darcy.
"Cool it, guys," chastises Toby.
One of the waiters who brought out the cake comes out with a cake box for the remnants. They'd made a decent dent in the cake, but there was enough for Ashley to take home. The waiter appears nervous.
"We're sorry...we're sorry we messed up the cake," says the waiter.
"That's okay," assures Ashley.
The party fills with chatter again as the waiter tells Ashley all about the mix-up. Ellie notes that he mentions Spinner's name a lot, probably trying to lay most of the blame on him. She smiles, digs her fork into the last of her cake. Paige taps her on the shoulder, eases into the chair next to hers.
"Hey," greets Ellie. "I really liked that bag you did for Ash."
Paige grins. "I can't sleep so I had more time to construct it. But it did feed my creativity, so I ended up making this."
Taking out a large plastic bag from under her chair, Paige presents a blue and white-striped, finely stitched diaper bag to Ellie.
"That's cool, Paige," compliments Ellie.
"I know," says Paige. "It has compartments for baby bottles, wipes, fresh diapers, the whole enchilada. I made it for myself, but then got this great idea to try and market it. Ended up making three. Calling it the Gaige bag, a mixture of Gavin and Paige. Sheila Stanley, one of my mom's friends, is tre interested. Doing a better prototype for her tomorrow."
Ellie claps. "See? You're going to be rich in no time."
"Meanwhile," says Paige. "This is yours. I made sure it wasn't pink."
Ellie's brow furrows. "What..what are you talking about?"
Paige shrugs. "You shouldn't give up, Ellie. There's adoption, surrogacy...I'm not saying do it right now, but maybe later. Don't mean to be all Oprah, but during these last few months, you've been a decent acquaintance...maybe even a friend?"
Tears burn the back of Ellie's eyelids, but they're happy tears, rare in this time of her life. The whole Sean scenario, that keeps playing in her mind, was something she couldn't control. Yet, she hadn't cut. A part of her is aware that she does have control over most things, including, perhaps, the decision whether to be a mother.
"I really appreciate it, Paige," says Ellie, hugging her. "The mom thing...let's see what happens."
"Fine with me," replies Paige. "I...ooh!"
"What is it?" asks Ellie.
Paige rubs her bump, starts to laugh. "I think he or she is kicking."
Ellie puts her hand on Paige's stomach, feels light vibrations against her palm. The movement kindles something in her heart, not like the pain of when the doctor told her about the baby she lost, or the sadness when she realized Sean wouldn't desert Emma as much as he cared about her. She hasn't been this happy in weeks.
"Awww," says Ellie. "You're carrying a little soccer star in there."
"Or if Spin would have his way, the next Jackie Chan," says Paige.
Ellie picks up her glass. "A toast."
Paige takes hers up as well. "To?"
"A toast to actually getting along, and not killing each other this summer. To new friends."
Paige clicks her glass against Ellie's. "To new friends."
They both take a sip.
"So now that we're friends, can I get you some clothes that are more bright and airy? It's still summer after all," offers Paige, touching her black, satin sleeve.
Ellie shrinks back. "Um...how about no?"
II.
"Can you see?" asks Craig as the elevator moves upwards.
"No," replies Ashley, fingering the blindfold.
"Don't touch it," instructs Craig, putting her hand down.
"Craig...," she starts.
Ashley is interrupted by the elevator door opening with a quick little beep. Craig leads her outside, and her heels clomp against what she thinks is carpet. She hears a key enter a lock, much like the day he surprised her with the house. She isn't sure what's going on this time, unless he bought an apartment or a condo. Standing in the door frame, Craig carefully scoots her into a room. She doesn't know why, but it feels very crowded.
Craig slides off the blindfold, and then she knows why. They're in his studio, but it looks very different. All the instruments are moved to the side, because Craig had recreated the heart with their initials using rose petals, just like the first time they were together. There is a tiny table next to the drum kit, holding a bottle of champagne, a grey dish, and some candles. Ashley's heart speeds up, taking it all in.
"My luggage is here," she notices, glancing at it.
"I wonder how that got here," says Craig, coyly.
"Beats me," says Ashley, playing along.
Ashley lays down the cake box on the small table, as Craig pours them some champagne. He holds up his champagne flute. Ashley follows suit. They drink, and Craig puts his down.
"And," says Craig, propping open a new sofa bed, "No more ghetto bed."
The mattress is new, looks soft. Ashley laughs.
"I'm going to miss the ghetto bed," jokes Ashley.
"No, you won't," says Craig.
Ashley goes near the little table, puts her glass down. "This is so amazing."
"Spin loaned me the bucket and the fancy dish," explains Craig.
"Can I?" asks Ashley, touching the cover of the dish.
Craig nods.
Ashley uncovers it, beams. Chocolate-covered strawberries.
"Do I want to know what you were thinking when you bought these?" says Ashley, smirking.
"I just...wanted some fruit," lies Craig, coughs. "Covered in chocolate."
"Mhmmm," says Ashley. "Well, I don't like wasting food, so bring 'em over."
Craig grins excitedly, puts the dish on the bed.
"I'll have you know that all my intentions were pure this evening, Miss Kerwin," says Craig through bites, as Ashley feeds him one.
Ashley giggles, raises her eyebrow. "I'm sure they were, Mr. Manning."
Craig finishes his, puts one to Ashley's mouth. "And I got the sofa bed for myself...to sleep on."
"Okay, you're getting more unconvincing," says Ashley, smiling and taking a bite.
"Yeah, I'll just stop now," says Craig, watching Ashley chew.
Craig traces Ashley's mouth with his thumb, and Ashley can feel the heat rising in her cheeks. It felt so good, so perfect. She can't remember when it wasn't like this, when she wasn't in the same town as him, the same room as him. All those moments she kept in her heart were leading to new ones. Craig puts his mouth to hers, and Ashley tastes his lips.
"Good," assesses Ashley, blushing.
"You're telling me," says Craig, leaning in for another kiss.
Ashley stops him. "Wait."
She opens her jacket, takes out a lean, velvet box, hands it to Craig. Craig gives her a curious look, and opens it. In it are two silver chains with gold musical notes on the end. Ashley holds up one.
"One for you, one for me," says Ashley. "Wherever we are, we'll be connected. Like in our songs."
Craig immediately puts it on, kisses her lightly on the lips.
"Best present I ever got," says Craig. "Speaking of music, do you want me to turn on the sound system? We can hear the song from out here."
Ashley beams. "Okay."
Craig makes some adjustments to the studio equipment, and finds one of Ashley's favorite stations. He joins her on the sofa bed again, helping to fasten her necklace. Ashley twiddles the necklace in her hands.
"I'm so, so going to miss you," says Ashley, avoiding his gaze, setting the dish down on the floor.
"Not as much as I'm going to miss you," says Craig.
"Equal?" concedes Ashley.
"Equal," agrees Craig.
Ashley begins to slide off her jacket, crying a little. A light guitar plays in the background, caressing Ashley's ears. Craig holds her, rocking her back and forth.
"It's thirty days, Craig," says Ashley, sniffling, wiping her eyes. "We haven't been apart that long since we got back together."
"And we won't after this," says Craig.
"I hate that I'm the one making you wait, again."
"I'm always going to wait. You're my best friend, my inspiration...the love of my life."
Ashley turns, holds his face in her hands. "I love you."
She unzips the back of her dress, laying her forehead against his.
"I love you too," says Craig. "We don't have to, if you don't want to."
Ashley shakes her head. "Don't talk. Just touch."
Craig moves down the sleeves of her dress, kissing her neck. Ashley sighs, feeling the top of her dress fall to her waist.
It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you've gotta be
Everything's changin'
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through
Unbuttoning Craig's dress shirt, she sees that Craig is crying as well, and kisses a tear as it falls down his face. She smiles at him, letting her mouth meet his. Their breathing grows more intense, Ashley's fingers shaking as she touches his bare chest. Craig pulls up the blanket, leans her back onto the sheets, unclipping her bra.
When I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waitin
with your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself from myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself
Ashley hands reach down, unzipping his pants. Craig hurriedly pulls them off, then his hands bunch up the lower part of her dress. Ashley runs her fingers through his hair, as he inches them down her legs, and tosses it on the floor.
My love is tainted by your touch
Cause some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
Craig kisses her more intensely, a hand moving down to her underwear. Ashley moans into his mouth, stares into his eyes.She slides off his boxers, then puts her hand on the top of his waist.
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away
Ashley's eyes tear up, but she can still see his face, so clear, so perfect. It's beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Craig brings her face closer to his, grins as he kisses her.
Don't ask me why I'm cryin
Cuz when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smilin
You always save me from myself from myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself
Ashley moans his name. It's some sheer, tragic ecstasy, sick and sweet, she can't put her finger on, like she's being shattered in the most delicious way possible, her heart beating and breaking at the same time. Yet, Craig is here, acting as some fortress for this weakness, the beauty in this breakdown. Her mind floats, lets her body take over, just embraces the moment.
I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong
Craig hugs Ashley against him, sweat trickling down his arms. Ashley finally lets a few tears fall, stroking Craig's back.
And don't ask me why I love you
It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me a better woman
to myself to myself, myself
Ashley nestles against him, watches the light of the candles dance, lovingly plays with the chain she gave Craig minutes before. Tomorrow is coming too fast, too fast for her.
"Tomorrow," she breathes.
You're gonna save me from myself ...
Craig pretends he has something in his eye, but Ashley can tell he's trying his best not to let any more tears spill. "Tomorrow."
III.
"Flight 432 to Vancouver," says a muddled voice over the intercom. "Now boarding."
Craig drags Ashley's small, black carry-on over the linoleum of the airport floor, the small wheels making a light scuffle. They really hadn't said a word on the drive there, him pretending to keep his eye on the road, glancing once in a while at Ashley, who had politely smiled at him one time and frowned the rest of the way there. She talked to her parents on the phone for awhile, checked her tickets and put them back in her purse, but hadn't done much else. Baggage claim took up a nice chunk of time, especially with the new restrictions.
"The flight to Vancouver is always bumpy," he speaks up.
"Oh," says Ashley, absent-mindedly as he sets her bag near a chair.
A young girl snaps Craig's picture with her cellphone. Craig politely waves at her, and then she runs off happily.
"We made good time."
"Yep."
Craig glances at the clock. They only have twenty minutes. Craig's head begins to hurt, but he plays it off.
"I can't believe you bought the surfboard," says Craig.
That got Ashley to smile.
"It's not very practical, but her heart was in the right place," says Ashley.
"Just don't meet any surfer guys. Come back and say 'dude' and 'tubular.'"
Ashley laughs. "We both know I like change, so no promises."
Craig opens his mouth to say something.
"Just kidding," reassures Ashley.
"I'm surprised you didn't want anyone to come," says Craig.
Ashley pats his knee. "I just needed you. This is hard enough as is."
Craig puts an arm around her, stares out at the planes that are arriving and loading up. Ashley does the same, crosses her legs.
"We should go somewhere," says Craig. "After I finish the album. A vacation."
"Where?" prompts Ashley.
"Not sure. We could go back to London. Or Paris. Or the Bahamas. Or a yarn museum."
Ashley buries her face in Craig's chest, laughing. "Shut up."
"I'm just throwing out stuff," laughs Craig, defensively. "Ah, we'll figure it out."
The intercom beeps, someone clears their throat, begins to speak.
"Flight 853 to Malibu, now boarding," says the voice. "Flight 853 to Malibu now boarding."
Ashley stands awkwardly, taps her purse. Other passengers head toward the gate, mostly single people getting out their tickets. Ashley takes hers out, taps Craig's shoulder with it.
"Well, this is it," whispers Ashley.
Craig opens his leather jacket, takes something from the side pocket. It's a bundle of envelopes.
"There's thirty," he explains. "Thirty letters, for every day we're apart, when we can't speak."
Ashley covers her mouth, starts to cry. "Craig..."
"There's really stupid jokes, some lyrics, how I feel about you, stuff to make you laugh. I just couldn't stop writing."
Ashley's whole body shakes. "Craig...Craig, I can't do this. I can't leave you."
Craig strokes her face, wipes her tears away. "You have to."
Craig sees that everyone else has gone through the gate, and the flight attendant is staring at them.
"Um, are you ready?" says the flight attendant.
Ashley looks into Craig's eyes, puts both hands behind his neck, and kisses him, deep and soft. Craig doesn't want to pull away, for her to walk through that door, for her to go. Ashley shrinks back, no longer shaking.
"I'm coming back to be with you," she whispers.
"I'll be waiting to be with you," whispers Craig.
Ashley hugs him one more time, and he can feel his heartbeat match hers. Slow, sad, longing. She hands the ticket to the attendant, turns back, and waves at Craig. Craig holds up the musical note on the chain and kisses it.
"I love you, Ash!" he calls.
Ashley disappears into the darkness, the flight attendant closing the door behind her.
He stays, stays until he sees the plane pull out, pressing his forehead against the cold window. Why couldn't he follow her? Every bit of him wanted to, but like last time, it was what she needed. The plane goes up the runway, so speedily, but not with as much speed as his heart beating strongly against his chest. It flies into the blue sky, that last image freezing in his mind as his tears trickle down the airport window.