"Izuku, you need to leave the computer lab." Ochako says gently as she enters with Momo and Eri. "We know this sci-fi tank thing has freaked you out a bit, but you aren't helping by researching for days on end."
"It's not that, I understand I can't know all of them. It's just that sci-fi writers are fools and design crappy tanks." Izuku complains.
"Those Apocalypse tanks looked fine though." Ochako comments.
"They are decent, two guns is kind of stupid and they don't need so many sets of tracks." Izuku explains.
"Are all the tanks you looked at like that?" Momo asks.
"Mostly worse. Even the most popular designs are flawed." Izuku answers.
"Do you want to explain it to us? It might make you feel better?" Ochako offers.
"Sure. I'll do that. I looked at a few top sci-fi tanks lists and several stood out." Izuku says, "I haven't really looked at them yet."
"No time like the present then." Ochako says cheerfully.
"Alright, a lot of people like the Scorpion tank, from the Halo series." Izuku begins pulling up the first image from his search engine.
"You mean that shooter with endless installments and remakes?" Momo asks.
"Yep, I haven't really played it myself. But we can take a look together." Izuku says.
"It looks decent." Ochako comments as she looks at the image.
"It's not terrible, the turret position is unconventional, but as long as you avoid urban environments it can work. A rear turret also makes driving easier since you don't have to worry about plunging the barrel into the dirt on rough terrain." Izuku begins.
"Don't most tanks turn their turret backwards while driving away from combat for that reason?" Momo asks.
"They do yes, many have barrel locks on the rear for this purpose." Izuku confirms. "The four track system is a bit silly, most people would think it would help with maneuverability, but tanks don't really have that problem most of the time. All it really does is add complexity to the drive system, or extra drag if one set isn't powered."
"That's interesting and all but can we look at the stats, I want to know if it has a good gun." Ochako interrupts before Izuku can go on a lecture on tracks.
"Sure, the gun is a 90mm smoothbore. Not particularly impressive, let's see what ammo it fires. Tungsten AP and canister. I assume HE is an option, but no HEAT?"
"Heat?" Ochako asks, her disappointment with the gun evident.
"High Explosive Anti-Tank, a common modern shell, it sends a molten core though almost any thickness of armor, without specific countermeasures it's nearly unstoppable." Momo explains.
"And it tends to work best without a spin, that's why most modern tanks don't use rifling." Izuku adds.
"And since this tank doesn't have a HEAT shell the smoothbore is just stupid?" Ochako infers cautiously.
"Looks like it. But it's just a small detail that I'm sure the writers didn't bother to look into, just saw the M1's gun and copied it." Izuku says sadly.
They settle down to read more for a moment before Izuku shouts. "The crew is in the front!?"
"Is that bad?" Ochako asks.
"The whole point of rear-turreted tanks is usually to put the crew and ammo in the safest location, using the engine and fuel as extra armor." Izuku explains.
"It also only has one crew position, which is nice if you don't have manpower. But if you have some guys sitting around, more eyes are always useful." Momo observes.
"Definitely, an example is the Swedish S tank, you could in theory drive and fire it alone, but it has three positions. Either to spread the workload or just to have more eyes." Izuku adds.
"So the M808 is bad?" Ochako concludes in confusion.
"No, it's fine. The problems are mostly just us nitpicking. In the end it's a fine tank." Izuku says.
"Shall we move on?" Momo asks.
"Sure, next on my list is the Baneblade from Warhammer 40k." Izuku says while typing into his search bar.
"It looks rather normal." Ochako comments.
"It does, a hull mounted gun is a strange choice, but it can work." Izuku adds.
"Wait a minute, look at the size of the person on top." Momo mentions.
"Oh. Oh my." Ochako manages as she calculates the size of the guns.
"That's a big tank." Izuku says.
"I need to know how big those guns are." Momo and Ochako say simultaneously, attracting Eri's attention away from the tank coloring book she had been working on.
"Zuku, momo and chako are acting that way again." Eri says innocently.
"Don't worry about it." Izuku says, allowing Eri to return to coloring her KV-2 bright pink.
Meanwhile Momo had reached over and clicked on a wiki link for the tank. Unfortunately it wasn't specified.
"Mega battle cannon is an exciting name though." Ochako says.
"It has potential." Momo agrees.
"Considering its size, the multiple guns make some sense. I'm sure the command problems usually found on tanks with multiple guns can be solved by some future tech stuff as well." Izuku begins thoughtfully, "Except for the rear mounted turret, which is compensated for by the other guns mostly, I see nothing wrong with this other than its size, but I assume there are other tanks in universe that fill that gap."
"I want you to summon one." Momo says with a rather noticeably husky tone.
"Yeah." Ochako adds, "Momo could copy it and we can have an on the go hero agency."
"We could probably build something like this anyway." Izuku says, wondering if Mei had any ideas, or if he would have to contact Melissa. "Let's move to the next tank, AAT from Star Wars." he says after a moment, quickly typing into his search bar.
"A hover tank?" Ochako asks.
"Looks like it." Izuku observes. "Not really a problem, not as fail safe as tracks, but has good mobility options."
"It doesn't get stuck, that's nice I guess." Momo says, sounding rather uninspired by this tank's small looking guns.
"That's only one of the benefits. Notice how it has a lot of hull mounted weapons?" Izuku observes.
"I can see quite a few." Ochako says not seeing Izuku's point.
"Well, a hover tank can move in directions other than along the tracks, so the main weakness of hull weapons, which is only aiming towards where the tank is going, is gone. In fact a perfect hover tank wouldn't have its main gun in a turret, instead leaving that to defensive anti-personnel weapons."
"Because without a turret you can save weight and use those savings for more armor or more speed?" Momo asks.
"Exactly, I have to mention the S tank again for this as the ultimate hover tank would be based on that design." Izuku explains.
"Fascinating." Momo says.
"And this particular tank?" Ochako asks.
"It's decent, looking through the information it has a lot of firepower and some armor. Hovering means the rear turret isn't a problem, it can just go around a corner sideways if it has to. The only real flaw is its height, it could be shorter." Izuku observes.
"For a smaller target profile?" Ochako asks.
"Exactly." Izuku says, "Now let's look at this final tank, also from Star Wars, before we go for lunch."
"What's next?" Momo asks, commandeering the keyboard while looking at Izuku's notebook, "AT-TE? They really like their acronyms in Star Wars."
"A walker?" Izuku asks in near outrage as the images pop up.
"At least it isn't a mecha. " Momo comments.
"Yes, at least that." Izuku agrees.
"What's wrong with walkers?" Ochako asks.
"What isn't wrong with walkers would be a better question." Momo answers.
"The basics are, a terrible silhouette, you can't find a worse way to align your vehicle towards an enemy." Izuku begins.
"That's why people tend to duck when under fire, it just makes sense." Momo adds.
"Balance, they can fall over a lot easier than tracked tanks. And they can't go as fast as a similar sized tracked or even hover tank." Izuku concludes.
"The only environment where walkers make sense is urban combat, and other types of tanks can usually make it work anyway." Momo says.
"And how about this one?" Ochako asks.
"Well, six legs is good, it won't fall over if it loses one." Izuku observes, "it has a decent profile as well to be honest."
"It could very well be the perfect walker." Momo says curiously.
"Open turret is a major flaw though." Izuku argues.
"Hopefully that's just optional, sometimes the visibility is nice." Momo says.
"As a walker it's inherently bad, but it's still a decent design overall." Izuku concludes.
"Let's just hope you never summon a walker and move on." Ochako says, having concluded that the balance problem would prevent any big guns from being mounted.
"Yes, it's lunch time. Let's go eat!" Momo says with excitement.
"Yay!" Eri cheers, her quirk leaving her with as big an appetite as Momo these days.
"Do you feel a bit better?" Ochako asks as she walks calmly out of the computer lab with Izuku.
"I do, but I definitely still prefer real tanks." Izuku admits.
AN: As a tank enthusiast and as someone who has studied tanks his entire life, I'm sure summoning some sci-fi monstrosity would be a real shock to Izuku. This is his therapy, mine as well in a way, since I don't like a lot of Sci-fi and fictional tanks from a design standpoint. I do like them for other reasons though, I just feel like people who ridicule tanks like the Churchil GC, M3 Lee and Ratte, should see the irony if they like the tanks shown above. And remember, these are some of the 'best' sci-fi tanks, according to a few lists I found. I can't imagine the kind of crap I would dig up if I really tried.
Fans of my work might wonder why I didn't add the Starcraft Siege tank here. I chose not to add it because all of its design flaws are related to its actual role as mobile artillery. It really shouldn't be treated as or used as a normal tank.
Reviews: I should have specified, it's the 1938 South Dakota's, in particular I was thinking of Massachusetts. Note the five inch battery that can actually shoot up.
He couldn't summon the Death Star since it isn't a ship, it's a space station; that moves... on its own... with FTL capabilities... oh, it's a ship...