I said I would give you 3 new chapters. I was going to but a) I dont have time and b) only 1.45067698259187620889748549323017 of you reviewed. Thats right, 15 out of 1034 people reviewed. So I am upset. Hmph. In response to your patheticaly small amount of reviews: -you can now review if you don't have a penname

I have come up with an excuse for Ron not being involved

-You guys are so sweet. Thanx for sticking with me

On to the story

Dear H,

Speaking as a rational, well liked, handsome, experienced, social icon, you are such a dork. Come on, who admits that they are cat lovers. That gives the impression that you are going to grow up to have frizzy gray hair and be insane and live in an apartment all by yourself with 30 cats. And you love to read? Please, I like to read an occasional book, but there is a real world. Don't you get out and have any fun. You sound like such a prude. I like coffee though.

Grow up,

D

Dear G,

I am the next Dark Lord, my brother is a gay clothing designer, and my parents are the king and queen on Mars. No, actually, my brother is quidditch player, my parents inherited a windfall of money from my dead great uncle and are the second richest wizarding family in England, and I am an ex-spy for the Order. I have many evil plans. Here is your secret mission/plan:

Operation Re-gift

Agent: G

Plan: charm quill/birthday present to attack H and write all over him in ink

Charm: quickquotatai, then you say aloud all of the things that you wan it to write on him.

Your lifesaver,

B

Dear H,

I have not had it quite as bad as you, but the one erson I haveever loved doesn't love me back. You can call me Parker. My current name is so girly. Uggh. G2G

-Parker