Chapter Fifteen: The Wedding

Sometime later, I returned to my room, fell into a brief sleep, and woke early, perhaps earlier than I should have.

On the chair near the hearth in my chamber was my raiment for the day, a fine tunic and leggings, both in the colors of my house. My boots lay nearby, waiting to be walked in, waiting to follow in the footsteps of fate.

I quickly set about dressing and washing my face in the basin nearby, savoring the cool, gentle runnels of water running down my face, like emotionless tears. When I left the chamber, I was caught up almost at once in the familiar anxious, loving feel of the house. The emotion only increased as I came to the dining hall.

Our breakfast was brief and quiet, for we were saving our hunger for the lavish noonday feast, which was served before the wedding took place.

Nonetheless, Indis and Falassë fretted over Nerdanel all through the meager meal as if she were a small child, tugging at her spun copper curls with worried fingers and glancing at her face with restless eyes. It surprised me to see even Indis, usually so calm and cool, grow pale with concern over the quietly compliant yet glowing girl.

Ingoldo was caught up in the excitement as well, watching everything with wide grey eyes and talking to everyone at once. Findis ate calmly, though she watched Nerdanel with a slight glimmer of envious admiration in her blue eyes. Finwë and Mahtan sat with the stiffness of men who did not want to admit their anxiety, not wanting to worry over things like their wives.

An hour or so before noon, Nerdanel left with her mother and Indis to make ready, and Finwë and Mahtan went to wait for the guests. I was left with my half-brother and sister, eating the last of our food in silence. As was customary, I drank the watered wine that was served to me, but wished I could have had something else to drink instead, for the wine, diluted as it was, lent me no ease.

The minutes passed as slowly as heartbeats, but still too swiftly for me. When I began to hear the murmur of the visitors arriving, I stood my feet and left the table without a farewell, heading for the shaded pavilion amid the trees at the foot of the Mindon Eldaliéva, where the wedding was to take place.

The day was cloudless and fair; nevertheless, the untroubled sky and balmy air did nothing to quell the roiling of my stomach. But when I came to the serene place among the trees, dappled with golden lances of Laurelin's light, and saw Nerdanel standing there, all doubt faded.

She seemed taller, more alert, and more beautiful than ever. Her face fairly shone with joy and anticipation. No disquiet marred her brow, and the stormy seas in her eyes seemed to be gentled--perhaps not entirely tamed, but calmed indeed. Indis and Falassë had dressed her in a loose fitting, flowing gown of the finest garnet velvet, brocaded with fine silver thread and slashed with a blue that was the color of the firmaments just before the stars shine, the moment that is torn between day and night. Her hair had been brushed and combed until it shone a smoky crimson, and it fell unbound to her waist, frail curls framing her face. About her brow was a golden diadem, with only a small, modest ruby set in it, like a droplet of blood above her eyes.

What struck me most though, even more than her gown, her face, or her bearing, was the love that filled me when I looked at her. The knowledge that I would have done anything for Nerdanel in that instant was enough to wash away all the hesitation in me.

Taking a deep breath, I walked to her, and for a moment, before the guests came, we were alone in the light, the trees, the dancing shadows.

"You look so beautiful," I told her sincerely, brushing her cheek with my fingers, and she smiled, a faint blush of rose upon her cheeks making her even lovelier.

"And you so handsome," she replied, holding my gaze with bright eyes, "We have nothing to fear, you and I."

"And fear we shall not," I promised, and then glanced over the grassy field. "They must wonder where we are. Shall we go to the feast?" I held out my hand, and she took it in her own, nodding.

Together we walked back to the house of Finwë, listening to the birdsong and sighing wind.

The wedding feast was lavish. The long benches of the hall were filled with guests from many lands, and the tables filled with food, but I ate sparingly, for my lean appetite seemed to have survived even the departure of my worry. The others ate as they would of the fine wines, roast hart, rich broths, and warm, flaky loaves of golden bread, but I felt I could not even stomach a sip of miruvórë, the mead of Valinor, sweeter than any nectar and saved for occasions of great importance and happiness. While the others talked and laughed about me, I could only stare at my empty plate and goblet, running my fingers anxiously across the silken tablecloth over and over, as if it were unclean.

Often, Nerdanel would catch my eye, and smile with all the love in her heart laid bare to me. For a moment I would feel heartened enough to perhaps try and take a slab of bread, or a swallow of wine. But she would turn away, distracted by someone saying her name or speaking to her, and I would be unable to eat again, wondering if this was how being in love would always feel.

When the feast wound to a close, the diverse range of guests began to stand and drift towards the pavilion. I left with Nerdanel to take our places before the ceremony began.

We were to stand at the opposite ends of the dais until our parents blessed us, but before we parted Nerdanel gave my hand a quick squeeze and murmured, "Good luck."

I replied only with a taut smile, and we parted and moved to our places. The masses of people soon came into the clearing as well, and I caught sight of familiar faces--Ingwë, from the slopes of Taniquetil; Quennar Onótimo, the keeper of the annals and records of Valinor; Olwë, Lord of the Teleri Elves, who wandered singing on the shores of the Sea--but I quickly glanced away from them, fearing that recognizing them would make me even more apprehensive than I already was. Above me, the winds stirred in the leaves, telling me that while their presence was polite and discreet, the Valar were present at the wedding of the Noldor King's son as well.

Finwë and Falassë joined us upon the dais, Finwë standing beside me, Falassë standing beside Nerdanel. When all was silent and the assembly stood motionless in the glen, watching us, Finwë and Falassë stepped forward, and Finwë spoke first, saying the words that began all marriages in Valinor.

"On this day in the Undying Lands, beneath the gaze of the Valar immortal, we join the lives of Finwion, son of Finwë and Míriel, and Nerdanel, daughter of Mahtan and Falassë. Blessed be the fate that grants our children such happiness."

Falassë spoke next, face lustrous with joy. "Proud be our hearts to bind our children together, and glad our spirits to welcome the one whom our child loves into our house."

She then held out her slender, white hand to Nerdanel; Finwë extended his own to me. Slowly, as one, Nerdanel and I walked forward to take their hands in ours. For a moment, I held Finwë's hand in mine, hoping my fingers did not tremble as I was certain they must, but then he joined my other hand to Nerdanel and we all were united in a ring, faces upturned to the skies.

"Manwë Súlimo, Lord of the Air, to whom all birds are dear," my father said, voice strong but reverent, "May you approve of this union and grant my son with your blessing."

"Varda Elentári, Star-kindler, who loves the Eldar as her children, may you approve of this union and grant my daughter with your blessing," Falassë murmured in near echo of my father's words.

"Eru, Father of All," Falassë and Finwë then said as one, "May you approve of this union and grant our children with your blessing. May they walk forever in your light and favor."

The moment was weighed down by the strength of those words, for invoking the name of Eru was not to speak lightly. The air itself seemed to hum with power, and I shut my eyes, suddenly lightheaded. Suddenly, Finwë's hand dropped from mine, and I held only Nerdanel's.

"Exchange the rings, and may it be that you shall treasure and remember this hour always, come what may," Finwë commanded, holding out two gold rings to us. I looked to Nerdanel, frozen. She smiled demurely as she loosened her hand from mine and quickly tugged the silver ring from her finger. Eyes soft, she offered it to me, even as she took a gold ring and slid it onto the finger where the silver ring had once shone.

"The ring of betrothal I return to your keeping, beloved one," she said slowly, voice unwavering and brave, gaze never leaving my face, "I ask only for the ring of marriage in return, a mark of your devotion to me."

I took the ring she had given me, and slid it into my breast pocket, where it had lain in the first years of its making, then took my silver ring from my finger and extended it to her, taking the other gold ring and placing it upon my right hand.

"And my ring of betrothal I return to your keeping, beloved one, and ask only for the ring of marriage in return, a mark of your devotion to me."

"Let it be so," Finwë said, as Nerdanel and I held each other's hand once more, the breeze tugging at Nerdanel's loose curls. Then he produced from his pocket a gleaming necklace of gold chain, upon which hung only a single clear diamond, and fastened it about Nerdanel's neck. Eyes bright, she inclined her head to my father in wordless thanks. Falassë waited until this quiet exchange was complete, and then pinned a golden brooch inlaid with a diamond of similar size and shape at the throat of my tunic.

All was still then, and Nerdanel and I stared at each other in disbelief. Was it truly so? Were we not dreaming?

I looked to my father for support, and he nodded, knowing the astonishment I felt. When Nerdanel saw Finwë's assurance, she too knew it to be true, and she put her arms about me, and, uncaring of the eyes watching us, we kissed for a long, long time.

The celebration lasted for only a few more hours afterwards, as we greeted and spoke with the hundreds of well-wishers and kinsfolk who had come to witness the marriage. On an ordinary day, I would have soon grown dizzied by the endless, pressing tides of people, but having Nerdanel fast at my side lent me enough valor to last a dozen more such events.

When the last few visitors took their leave, Finwë perceived the heated impatience in Nerdanel's and my hearts, and discreetly guided the rest of our two families to stay the night in the secluded guest wing, leaving us to our own devices. Between deepening kisses, she and I whispered our laughing thanks to the deserted halls as I led her to my room, our hands closely entwined.

In that gilded age, it seemed like the joy and love Nerdanel and I shared that day and night was everlasting, as immortal as Valinor itself. Now, now I know that once I left the shores of that land countless years later, the immortality would fade.

But, being young, I did not know it then.

Author's Note:

Fëanor and Nerdanel, Arda's first sex addicts. How else could those seven boisterous boys been brought into this world?

Speaking of those seven boys, you all bear witness now to my promise to Unsung Heroine to invent the best young Caranthir imaginable! Before I read her wonderful stories--which I recommend highly to all of you--I was planning on making Caranthir the angry delinquent type, but now I have so much more to work with!

I'm glancing at my summer schedule and it's looking to be almost as busy as my school year. Music programs, community service, applying for a office in a certain student-run organization (Anglachel knows of what I speak). . . busy, busy, busy!

But I will, to quote Verizon, never stop working for you.

Thanks as usual for all the love and support. I am proud to have the best bunch of reviewers (who are also pretty darn good writers!) on this whole site!

Best,

Blodeuedd