Fred didn't know Viktor and I had kissed. Or he pretended not to know. Oh my sweet Fred, didn't you know that we were falling apart? Piece by piece?
Didn't you know that all those years that we had groped, touched, kissed, fucked, beneath the dim lights that we would end up not one single mess, but two? Didn't you hear Mother's warnings, Fred? We'd always been close, but never like this.
Now we were breaking. Little by little. We pretended to still be inseperable around friends, family, and professors. Yet in reality we were dying. Both hearts that were sewn together for so long were now ripping at the seams. Oh my beautiful, fucked up brother. Why did we end up this way?
Fred hung around Angelina more and more now. I hated the way her eyes batted when he spoke, how her lips curved when he laughed. How she trembled for his touch, the way I used too. I could only imagine them together underneath the sheets, how he called out her name the way he used to call mine. I knew they must have done it already, I could tell by the way she acted around him.
I was brimming with jealousy. I had to find Viktor. I wanted his strong arms around me, his deep, soothing voice to wash over me. I wanted to kiss him, to love him, to hold him.
I left my brother at the table, Angelina's soft laughter escaping from her lips as Fred twirled her brown strands around his fingers. Viktor was in the library, lurking behind shelves. Hermione was not in sight, but I realized then that Viktor probably escaped to the library, just to get away from the craziness of real life.
He spotted me right away, his scowl turning into a grin, "George, I thought I'd never see you again"
I came up behind him, and wrapped my long arms around his abdomen, "I need you," I whispered into his back, my nose sinking into the rough fabric of his school uniform. He smelled like cinnamon and the faint scent of sweat. "Why?" he asked, his hands gripping the bookshelf, "Why do you need me? I'm nothing. My hands are empty."
"I want to know you," I said, my fingers tracing the dip between his shoulder blades, "I need to know you." I could feel his entire body stiffen beneath my touch. He turned around to meet me, his face lined with worry and sadness, "George..." I stood up on my toes to kiss him, and I heard him whisper in my ear, "This isn't right."
I was with him inside the creaking wooden Durmstrang ship. Our voices muffled by the layers of blankets on his bed. We kissed eachother over and over again, our hands searching eachother's bare bodies. He climbed up ontop of me, kissed my bare chest, his fingers tenderly grazing my nipples. His skin felt softer than I thought it would, though the palms of his hands were rough and calloused as they passed across the inside of my bare thighs; course and hard from the years of Quidditch and those rough fabric gloves he wore while riding high on his Firebolt.
"Viktor..." I whispered, "I want you, in me."
He suddenly looked up, "George, I - Are you...are you sure?"
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
I could tell he was trembling as his fingers carefully spread the lubricant over my opening, slowly dipping inside and out, just so I could get used to the feel. I didn't want to tell him that I'd already done this before. But maybe it would be different with Viktor...something new.
Little by little he'd slip himself inside of me, his hands gripping mine as he fucked me, gently at first, then gathering speed and becoming more rough. The pain was unbearable, but I wanted him. I wanted someone to love me...and if this is what it took, then I was saved. I reached up and touched his face, my fingers sliding over the rough stubble on his cheeks, his chin; I traced over his mouth, my thumb slipping between his full lips. I could feel his tongue run over the tip of my thumb, his large chocolate eyes closing, a rough moan escaping from deep inside of him.
He pulled me into the positions he liked, his erection deep inside of me, balls slapping against my bare bottom. I wanted to cry out, to scream out in pain. But I didn't want him to think he was hurting me...I just wanted to be accepted into his world. He thrusted a couple more times, sweat was pouring down his face, dripping onto my bare stomach...and then, he let out a loud cry, and I could feel his sticky come shoot into my opening and all over my bare bottom.
I wanted to curl up into a ball and whimper into the pillow I was clutching too. He was finally finished, but my whole body ached with pain. Landing down onto the empty pillow next to me, Viktor nestled up close to me, wrapping his strong muscular arms around my much smaller, bare shoulders. "Are you okay?" he asked, calloused fingers wiping the tears away from my eyes, "I didn't hurt you did I?"
I shook my head, "No you didnt, it was...nice."
Kissing the tip of my nose, Viktor smiled, "Have you ever been with another...you know...before..?"
Should I tell him that I fooled around with my own brother? "Sort of."
Viktor bit his lip, "Oh really? Can I ask who?"
Shrugging, I continued, "Harry Potter. Though it wasn't much of anything."
Viktor's brown eyes widened, "H-Harry Potter? What was he like?" he sniggered, "Not bad I suppose."
I had to laugh, "Alright for someone his age, you know? Just a little, inexperienced." Which wasn't true at all, Harry was anything but. Sometimes I wondered what he and Ron did in their dormitory when no one was looking.
"Is that it?" asked Viktor, "No one else?"
I waited a moment before answering, "Well, I did experiment with my brother a few times."
Viktor huddled closer, "Fred?" he whispered, stroking my ginger strands. "Yeah, over the summer. It was a thing we just wanted to try," I lied, "Nothing real big"
"Mhmm," he kissed my nose again, "Really?"
"Really..." I felt terrible lying to Viktor, I wanted to tell him so badly about Fred and I, but how could I? He'd think I was weird, some sort of freak for fucking my own brother. My twin for that matter. But he'd find out eventually, "Well, not really. I mean...Fred and I, we sort of had a relationship for a while...you know?"
"What sort of relationship?" Viktor's eyebrows quirked, "You mean you guys..."
"Fucked eachother on a regular basis, yeah."
Viktor looked sort of shocked and disgusted at first, then his expression softened, "So you loved him"
"Loved him as in loved him more than a brother should? Yes, I did. I really loved him, I still do. Though I know its wrong. This whole...incest thing...I was always warned about getting to close, but I never listened."
Viktor just sort of laid there, his eyes looking deep into mine, "I don't think its right. But...I wont give up on us, just because of something you did in the past."
I kissed him gently, "Viktor Krum why are you so wonderful," I breathed into his neck, "I've never known anyone like you."
He buried his nose into my hair and whispered, "Boy, if you only knew what you were doing to me."