A/N
Hello Everybody.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed.
Again this is my first ATLA story and I welcome criticism as well as reviews.
I have seen the questions on possible pairings, and I am undecided. One of the ships that might sail will be Zutara because it's my favourite. I apologise to anyone who looked forward to Kataang. But anyways, ships will unfold as the story goes on, I mean, there are so many possibilities to work with you know.
For the record, Zuko is six-years old and Azula is four, well for now that is. I think you'll find that they're a lot more mature than normal children (Zuko is justified, but Azula is... well... yeah).
Azula had just finished her lessons with her tutor.
Her heart was beating giddily and the swelling feeling in her chest meant that she felt extremely happy. Not that she showed it, her face was as emotionless as ever and nobody noticed that she had not yelled at the servants when they had scrambled out of her way.
Her flames were crimson red. Not the joyfully bright yellow which most of her peers produced; nor the endearing orange flames which were expected of an average adult but crimson red. Pure raging red. Red like the blood of her enemies. Red like the Fire Nation.
Red like her father.
A color that only few masters could produce. Not even her tutors could produce fire so red.
Then again, they were all incompetent idiots anyway.
Her steps had a light skip to them, as she strolled down the palace hallways and to her room. If anybody noticed, they didn't mention it.
Just then, she heard harsh breathing and loud groans from the courtyard. She strained her ears, and she heard thumps, as the person she was eavesdropping to performed stances and the faint swishing of fire as they were released.
A million possibilities passed through her tactical mind on who it could be, ranging from a potential assassin to a very dramatic reveal by Uncle Iroh. She climbed on the railings, for the height of even a six-year old was not enough to see the courtyard. It was rather embarrassing, but it would be fixed with time.
And she saw him.
Zuko.
And she stared at him in awe.
Power was something that Azula had come to respect, admire and yearn for, while training with her father. And the power she saw in front of her was nothing short of legendary. Her older brother moved through the katas with grace, which she had not even seen in her tutors.
That proved that they were stupid, but the point was that Zuzu's katas were amazing. He seemed to flow through them. Kind of like water.
She frowned when he tried to produce a flame though. It was pathetic, like her older brother. His flames were still yellow, still average. It seemed almost an insult after she had seen him perform those katas.
If her raw energy was combined with those forms, how powerful could she be? Suddenly, Azula had an irrational urge to ask her brother to teach her, which she squashed down immediately.
Because father had said Zuko was weak. And she was strong. Why should she learn from someone weaker than her?
But as Azula continued to stare at him, for the first time, she wondered if her father had been wrong.
Out of the corner of his eye, Zuko noticed a figure standing on the railings.
His instincts acted when he realized that it was Azula and he tripped mid-way, barely catching himself with his hand before landing, rather ungraciously on his butt. He saw Azula smirk from the corner of his eye.
"Hey, Zula"
"What were you doing?" she asked.
It felt strange, talking to the person who had tried to kill you not just once, but several times. He wondered if that was how the rest of the gang had felt about him joining. Even though he had promised that he would not let Azula descend into madness, he wasn't sure how he was to accomplish that. Surely making peaceful conversation wouldn't just solve it…?
Or maybe it would. Maybe all Azula needed right now was someone who would stand besides her, no matter what. Like Uncle.
Zuko felt a pang of sadness when he thought about Uncle. After all, he wouldn't be the same person anymore. He might not even be on the side of the Avatar. And his humour in his letters had made Zuko wince. His Uncle didn't talk like that.
"Some training," he replied nonchalantly.
"Oh"
There was awkward silence, as Zuko remembered how socially inept they both were when talking to peers instead of subordinates. He racked his brains to think of some topics, and saw that Azula was doing the same.
"So… uh… how did your lessons go?" he asked, noticing a singe in her robes.
She shrugged, "Well, I know enough not to light a servant's clothes on fire"
Zuko was slightly surprised. He had thought that Azula would take this opportunity to indulge in how she was the best, even better than her tutors. How far she had come and how much she had improved. Maybe he didn't know her as he thought he had.
Still, her humour was the same as ever, awkward and deadly.
"You shouldn't do that," he said the first thing that came to his mind.
"Father always said you were soft hearted," she said and when Zuko tensed up, she added, "It was just a joke, Zuzu"
"Oh… um okay"
There was another awkward silence.
"Urm… I should… uh go"
He missed the disappointment on her impassive face. He missed how she had been opening and closing her mouth as if to ask him something. Azula bit her lip, "Don't trip on your pants, Zuzu"
As Zuko took slow intricate steps towards his room, he thought about how he was supposed to save his sister.
Even though this Azula was a little more open to feelings and a little less aggressive, she was still… Azula. Cruel, malicious, calculating Azula. She would still be the person that Ozai shaped her to be. How was he supposed to stop that?
Prevent contact with Ozai… maybe?
First, he needed to understand the problem before coming up with…..
"Zuko?"
Zuko froze.
"Mum?" He turned around slowly. The ever-familiar face of his mother was smiling down at him. He felt a pang of sympathy, after he knew of his mother's ordeals.
He would make sure that she was reunited with Ikem.
But how?
Ugh.
Zuko hated planning.
"Yes, it's me, Zuzu? You look ill. What happened? Did Azula do something? I noticed you talking to her before…"
"No," Zuko answered quickly, "Zula didn't do anything"
Should he trust his mother with his secret? She would be a big help.
"Are you getting along?"
"Yeah" his reply made his mother gape at him.
"I'm glad," she said.
It was decided. He would tell his mother, of his… unusual circumstances. He was sure she would believe him. After all, how else would he know about Ikem?
But, not right now. Later.
Right now, he wanted to relive his childhood.
"I was wondering if my darling prince wanted to feed the turtle-ducks," she smiled mischievously at him.
"Of course,"
Two Days Later
The banquet table had piles of food stocked up, one upon another, and all Fire Nation cuisine made by the nation's best chefs. After all, the Fire Lord would tolerate nothing less than perfection. Fire Flakes, Fire noodles, Fire mangoes, all sorts of dishes.
The room was lit by four lanterns on each corner and a red insignia hung over the walls like the tense atmosphere hanging in the air.
Zuko's eyes flickered to the empty seat on the other side of the table. His father had yet to make an appearance. He wondered how he would react to him. How he would speak to him. Lying had never been his strong suit.
Still, he needed Ozai's support to pull practically anything off.
He sighed. Seemed like Ozai wouldn't be joining them yet again; although, a part of him could not help but be relieved from his father's absence. From the corner of his eye, he saw his mother reprimanding Azula for playing with her food.
Suddenly, the door swung open and Zuko froze. There was only one person who could be here. And sure enough, the person standing outside was a tall, towering figure, scowling, his long hair was made into a top knot.
An irrational anger bubbled in his chest. Actually, that anger was probably completely rational. It would be irrational if he wasn't angry.
Ozai sat down.
"Good eve –"
Zuko was promptly cut off by his father, who addressed Azula, ignoring him pointedly. He seethed silently.
"Azula," Ozai said in greeting, "How is your fire bending training going?"
"It is going at an admirable pace, father." It was sometimes hard to forget that Azula was only four years old, with her vocabulary and the way she carried herself. "My fire has turned crimson red just recently."
Ozai nodded, approvingly. "You will master the art of blue fire. You are a true prodigy. You will show me this in our next lesson together."
Out of the corner of his eye, Zuko noticed his mother giving him a pitying look.
"Father, if I may excuse your conversation"
Ozai narrowed his eyes. This was the first time that Zuko had asked for permission before speaking to a superior. He was still a failure and yet, the steel laced in his voice was new, different from how Zuko's voice was usually filled with warmth.
"Yes, continue, Prince Zuko" Ozai's voice was considerably colder
"I would like to join Princess Azula in her fire bending"
Azula's face transformed into one of shock and horror and his mother had a similar expression. It was funny how much they resembled each other in that moment, even though their way of thinking was clearly different from each other.
Ozai's gaze never wavered. "Prince Zuko, we have been over this"
"Give me a chance"
"What makes you think you deserve it?"
"I will prove you my worth"
"Prince Zuko, how will you accomplish that?"
A beat. A resigned sigh from Zuko. Cruel stares from Ozai.
"I will spar you"
An audible gasp from Azula. A sharp inhale from his mother. Ozai's expression finally changed. Zuko's gaze was unwavering. A malicious grin began to form on Ozai's face.
"Very well then, meet me in the afternoon."
Zuko pointedly ignored his mother's protests. He didn't notice the way his sister had clenched her jaw. He didn't notice anything he normally would have.
His mind was playing a memory from many years ago.
That destiny-altering, fateful, life-changing Agni Kai.
He hoped that he hadn't made another big mistake
Zuko took his stance. Even though he was eerily reminded of the Agni Kai years ago, there were such huge differences. This meant that his face wouldn't be burnt off. It meant that he wouldn't have to go on a hopeless quest for the Avatar.
First difference was that he was six.
But age had never mattered to Ozai, it never had. Zuko doubted it would now.
The second difference was that he was the one who had challenged Ozai. Of course, Zuko didn't know how much that would account for.
But the third, biggest difference was that he would resist. He would show Ozai strength. If Zuko knew anything about his father, it was that he appreciated power. He lusted for it. He wouldn't brand a son with power.
He would brand one without power. One who chose familial bonds over strength. One who begged for forgiveness instead of fighting.
Another thing that was different was that they didn't have a large audience, other than mother and his sister, observing their dual. Of course, that didn't help with the fact that he wouldn't be burned, but it helped calm his nerves down.
This time was different.
Zuko assured himself.
An unspoken gaze and both benders knew to begin, without a signal.
Ozai was the first to attack. He displayed a series of blasts, which weren't hot, much to Zuko's relief. He dodged them with ease. Ozai narrowed his eyes. To dodge was the way of an air bender. A true fire bender would face the fire head on and make it disappear.
Then again, the boy would have next to no chance if he did that, Ozai thought grudgingly. Still, there was no honour in fighting with the style of another element. The weaker elements.
To his surprise, the boy wasn't even fazed by his attacks. He must be taking acrobatic classes, he mused. No matter, his failure of a son could not last against him.
Zuko was sweating. His grace was not up to its usual standards. It was probably the nervousness from fighting his father. Again. His face remembered what happened the last two times.
Zuko concentrated on feeling his chi; it still felt weird.
No, no, no.
Ozai was coming closer. He had not ceased his attacks, causing them to come from every angle with utmost unpredictability. Zuko could barely avoid them, let alone attack back.
All of a sudden, Ozai towered over him.
No, father, I am your loyal son
The memory still haunted him.
You will learn respect, and suffering shall be your teacher.
His head felt awful.
The flames. Hot. Hot. Hot. So hot. Burning hot.
He would be marked, branded, again.
I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.
Not again.
Just then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mother, looking at him horrified. Azula was standing beside her, clutching her mother's robes, a surprisingly vulnerable action for Azula. Of course, she was only four years old.
The flames would be coming for him soon.
Come on, don't be a pussy, Sparky, Top said in his head. Stand your ground.
How? What am I supposed to do?
I will end it... I will end your fire flakes. Katara liked to joke about her threat often. Your best defence is your offense.
You shouldn't joke about that you know… It was pretty scary.
Remember when you were the blue spirit? You were so light on your feet. Aang would say wistfully. He was probably comparing how he moved to the Air Nomads. Every battle you evade is a battle won.
I have always been fast. I needed to avoid Azula so many times.
One thing we know about Zuko, Sokka grinned, is that he never gives up
Yeah. Because the one time I did, half my face was burnt off.
Zuko gave an animal-like snarl, which caught Ozai off-guard.
He grabbed Ozai's burning hand, ignoring the pain. It would scar, but better his hand than his face. Besides, the flames were a lot cooler than normal flames. He swung himself upwards, and grabbed the branches of the trees.
Ozai aimed his blasts at him, as he swung from tree to tree. Inevitably, he landed behind Ozai.
Ozai tried to touch him, and frustratingly, was failing miserably, for Zuko copied every move of his father, a step ahead of him. Zuko had had Aang teach him this Airbending kata, mainly because he remembered how it had annoyed him the first time, he had used it.
Every battle you evade is a battle you win.
Indeed, it seemed to be having the same effect on his father.
He landed a jab on Ozai's back. Ozai, realizing that his straightforward approach wasn't working, aimed a kick behind his back. It jarred Zuko, but he got up again, like he always did.
Ozai made a sweeping motion with his legs, making fire.
Your defence can be your offense.
Zuko closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of the fire. He reached towards it, and grabbed it, turning it into his own. He made fire whips, his own version of the water whips that he had seen Katara make a thousand and one times.
To his alarm, his father was playing with real fire. Real, hot fire.
It didn't matter though. His chi had never felt better. It was as if he had cut through chains he didn't know he had. His chi flowed like a trickling stream – no, a river. A river that's dam had just been recently broken.
His fire was crimson red.
The fire whips headed straight towards Ozai. He dodged them, smoothly and gracefully and shot more fireblasts towards Zuko. His flames were now red too.
Stand your ground Sparky.
He did, and directed the Fire straight towards the Earth, adding his own.
The battlefield became sizzling hot.
Ozai was forced to abandon his stance and be light on his feet.
And there they fought, engaged in a dance. A deadly dance. Zuko's agility was like the wind, but Ozai couldn't be underestimated either. Evading and attacking, in circles, again and again and again, like two deadly beasts.
Nobody would have guessed that this was a spar
Finally, Ozai raised his hand, an amused expression on his face. Both of them stopped, panting, breathing in harsh breaths.
"Very well, Prince Zuko, I will conduct your fire bending lessons personally."
Both of them missed the murderous look on Azula's face.
Zuko was annoyed and ashamed.
He was doing exactly what he had been doing his entire life; trying to please Ozai.
Well, at least he had different intentions this time. Besides, the weird problem with his chi had miraculously fixed itself during his fight with Ozai.
Zuko had a theory on that. But he wasn't sure. Either way, he wasn't one to dwell on matters and make plans and theories for strange phenomenon. He had his Uncle for that. Instead, he preferred to go with the flow.
Uncle.
Uncle Iroh was still in Ba Sing Se and Zuko had to remind himself several times that he was no longer his Uncle who had urged him to join the Avatar in the Catacombs, or his Uncle who had lost his son.
He was on the side of the Fire Nation. Or more accurately, on the side of the current Fire Lord. He had yet to take his journey to the spirit world and gain the wisdom which made him who he was. He had yet to…
How was he supposed to convince Uncle to turn traitor with Lu Ten around.
And how the hell was he supposed to save Lu Ten anyways?
Dimly, he heard footsteps. They weren't carefully concealed, but marched towards him with determination and stubbornness. Instinctively, he turned around and said, "Toph!" before face palming himself and wishing to go drown in the turtle duck pond.
Of course the girl behind him wasn't Toph, even though she had the tiny demeanour and the stubbornness to match the young earthbender. The girl behind him narrowed her golden eyes.
"Who is Toph?"
"Oh, sorry, I just thought… um…"
Great, just great. It hadn't been even two days and he had slipped up. Damn it. Oh well. At least it wasn't in front of Ozai; he would probably have a less hard time convincing a four-year old than his suspicious father.
"Who is Toph?"
Zuko quickly amended, "I meant tough. Not Toph. You misheard. I meant that you were tough. Not Toph. Why would I say Toph?"
He chuckled nervously as Azula cocked an eyebrow. Ugh. He sucked at lying. Astonishingly, she didn't comment further. Zuko was surprised; it wasn't like his sister to drop an argument before winning it. Nonetheless, he sighed in relief. Whatever Azula wanted to tell him was more important than a petty squabble it seemed.
His thoughts were abruptly cut off.
"You're stealing father away from me"
Zuko froze.
No, no, no, no. He messed up. Just two days, and he had messed. Damn it. Emotions flickered through his face, ranging from shock to confusion to anger to sadness to understanding. Azula glared at him…
Oh shoot. Since when did he perceive the notion that anything in his life would be easy.
But the words that came out of his mouth, made him want to torture himself and then drown in a pond. He had been having that notion a lot recently.
"He's not my father," he growled harshly and promptly wished that he could go back in time, again.
Azula looked at him with widened eyes. No doubt, his hard-earned image and pride which he had earned today would be ruined if his father heard about this "statement"…and conversation. But he might as well elaborate, since he had already been extremely stupid.
"He sees us as nothing but tools for the Fire Nation. He doesn't love us. Not really. Once we have outlived our usefulness, we will be discarded. Disposed of," he said angrily. There, it was out now. His true feelings about their father. Now, how would she react?
Zuko reminded himself that she was only four. She couldn't arrest him for treason. And Ozai's influence was not extremely apparent yet. He could work with that.
Then and there, he decided that Azula would know, along with his mother, about the time travel, after he stabilized her.
"No… he loves me"
Zuko could sense something in her voice, hesitance. He could work with that. Uncle had worked with less.
"No… he loves me," she said, almost meekly.
Then, she mentally slapped herself. Why was her voice so pathetic? Especially in front of her pathetic brother? She wasn't supposed to show weakness. That's what father had told her. She had to be perfect.
Always perfect.
She was born lucky.
But, why? A traitorous part of her said. Why couldn't she cry? Why couldn't she show her tears and hug her father like Zuzu hugged mother. A pang of jealousy shot through her heart. She felt so jealous of Zuko. Even still, about what Zuko said about father, Azula couldn't help but agree.
Azula was a child well beyond her years. Yet, like any child, she yearned for her father's approval. Her observance had made her notice the way Ozai looked at her. It wasn't like how mother looked at Zuzu. He wasn't seeing her, but an object. A weapon. A weapon of mass destruction that he now possessed.
But right now, she didn't care. Zuko was still taking away her father away from her. And he gave the most attention to her. He was the only one who paid any attention to her.
"No, he doesn't," Zuko urged her.
And suddenly, her mind was filled with anger. How dare he? How dare he take away the one person who appreciated her? How dare he? Who was he to comment on her relationship with father? Who was he to tell her that father didn't love her? Who was he to…?
"You already have mother!" she yelled, "Why do you want father too?"
Her brother flinched. "Wha – Is that what this is about?"
She missed the pity in his eyes.
"Yes! Mother already spends so much time with you," she turned around, "How could you possibly want more?" She practically demanded, with unshed tears in her eyes.
Zuko grabbed her shoulders and made her face him.
"Mom loves you," he said, "Mom loves the both of us equally"
"Sure doesn't seem like it to me," she said bitterly.
Memories passed through Zuko's head. My own mother thought I was a monster, she had said in the campfire. So, this was what it had been all about.
The fact that she had so readily agreed to help while they were searching for Ursa.
The resentment she carried towards their mother.
"Azula?" he said coolly with the intention of coming clean, "Look, our dad… our dad is a monster"
After all, it wasn't a secret what he thought.
"And mum loves you"
When Azula opened her mouth to protest, he added, "Even if she doesn't, I will always love you" Even if you go insane and try to kill me. Even then, I will still try to save you.
Because you are my sister.
He enveloped her in a hug
Azula cried that day like she had never before.
Zuko went straight to bed after that ordeal. His robes felt sticky from Azula's tears but he didn't mind it though. He would be heartless to mind that petty little thing after Azula had poured out her heart to him.
Ozai would have been annoyed, he thought darkly.
But still, it was the most vulnerable he had ever seen Azula be. His resentment towards her bending and her ability to tease Zuko about it at every turn had drifted both the siblings apart. But Azula was still four.
Why did she have burdens like this at the age of four?
With these thoughts, he went to sleep.
He woke up at dawn to hear someone humming a pleasant lullaby. The crickets outside chirped and the leaves whistled. All part of the song. Humming and humming. Blearily, he opened his eyes, to see a figure besides him, gently caressing his hands.
"Mom?"
"Yes darling?"
Suddenly, his stomach started churning. His mother always spent time with him. Always. Always there to pick him up when he fell. And what happened to him when he left? He forgot himself. Even with his Uncle there.
It didn't excuse what Azula did, but it made it understandable.
"You should spend some time with Zula. She doesn't think you love her," Zuko winced inwardly. Why did he have to be so blunt about things?
His mother blanched. "Oh dear. Is this true?"
"I think we should invite her to feed the turtle ducks today."
She smiled. "I think I have a better game for her. For the both of you actually," she ruffled his hair fondly, "You've been coming along nicely in fire bending training, haven't you?"
Zuko flushed.
"And yet you find time to spare with your dear old mother. I'm proud"
"Thanks," Zuko stopped for a minute, "Are you proud of Zula too?"
Ursa sighed, and looked out the window. "I love her. But she takes after her father too much", the last part was a soft whisper, not meant for Zuko's ears, but he caught it anyways. Of course. Now that he knew about the circumstances of his mother's marriage, he understood what it meant.
"I think she can be nice if she wants to be,"
If she has someone to catch her. Like Uncle. Or you. If someone would love her unconditionally, without fear.
"Yes, I have the perfect game for her."
Zuko grinned.
Azula would be just fine.
A/N Thank you for reading! Until next time