Author: Jo-ela05

Title: Morning's due. Part 1

Summary: Set post 'hunting gang' and ignorant of anything that's happened since then as it's the most recent ep I've seen.

Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine I'm just borrowing them don't sue me I'm poor.

Spoilers: Season 2 up to 'hunting gang'.

Jack regarded Kate from across the beach. He had hardly spoken to her in weeks but then the lack of communication, and effort, had been a mutual thing. He was angry, blazing in fact, at her stupid pigheadedness and the fact that her stubbornness had in all likelihood cost Michael his life. When they had first returned in effect empty handed he had walked away from her but even as he walked could feel her begging him to talk to her with her eyes. Since then he had watched her. She and Sawyer had been spending a lot of time together at first, they seemed deep in some private discussion, but gradually she seemed to have pushed him away as well. In the last few days he had barely observed her speak to anyone and somewhere deep himself he felt a small glimmer of satisfaction that his rejection of her affected her enough to isolate her. He acknowledged that he had found a cruel streak in himself but knew it was partly pride that after all the tension and non-action withholding his company and counsel could affect her so much. She looked exhausted. It seemed that she wasn't sleeping, but in fact had observed her retiring early and rising late, but perhaps that was just an attempt to further isolate herself from the group. He had barely seen her eat in days, but in truth had little sympathy for her. She had not seemed like the sort to indulge in self pitying behavior but from her sunken eyes and bedraggled appearance of that morning he guessed she had taken a liking to it.

Abruptly his thoughts were interrupted by Sawyer's approached. Jack silently cursed himself for allowing Sawyer to catch him out 'Kate-watching' as he had termed it. He was sure they were, or had, pursued a relationship following their latest jungle incursion but had been most surprised that Sawyer had not felt the need to rub his nose in it.

"Hey, doc," his usual coarse greeting was familiar, "you gonna go talk to her?"

Jack regarded him with the disdain that he generally reserved for smaller cockroaches, "Why, Sawyer? You two had a lover's tiff already?"

Sawyer leaned in close and snarled, "You've no idea what you're talkin about, Jack."

Although used to his generally abusive disposition, the speed at which it came to play surprised Jack, despite this he turned on him, "Then why don't you tell me, huh? Tell me all about poor k ate, while Michael's probably dead because she couldn't take an instruction."

Sawyer snorted, "That's what this's about? Let me tell you something, Jack, you've no idea what Kate went through out there, what they ..." the faltered on his words and surprised himself and Jack, "what they did to her, but I don't expect you to care cos you're on your big ole high-horse cos a lil troop didn't follow your orders. Well, she's payin now, now I'm no expert Mr. Big-shot spinal surgeon, but she looks like she could use a doc to me. What are you folks to fond of? Post-traumatic stress? Whatever she's sick, you're a doc get off your horse and talk to her."

Sawyer started to walk away, Jack called him back, "Wait, what do you mean? What did they do? There was hardly a mark on her, she said she was OK."

Sawyer kept facing away, "Sure she did, they don't always leave marks where you can see em, jack."

"Tell me."

"It ain't up to me," he finally turned back to return Jack's gaze, "not mine to tell see."

Jack drew himself level with Sawyer again, "So then tell me as a doctor what are her symptoms?"

Sawyer suppressed a half laugh, "Seem's to me you got a pretty good idea all the watchin you been doing. But I seen her more. She's tired, she ain't eatin, an ain't keeping down much o' what she does, think you might bother yourself to talk to her now?"

It took every ounce of self control but jack shrugged, "She knows where I am."

"You're a prick Jack you know that?" Were Sawyer's departing words.

Jack starred after him and silently cursed him, while dealing with Sawyer he'd lost his track on Kate.

It didn't take long for him to find her though, well, actually it seemed as though the work would be spared him today as it was Locke bounding toward him which brought her to his attention.

"Jack," he shouted, "Jack, its Kate I found her, she's out cold, looks like she hit her head."

Crashing along in Locke's wake Jack felt something like the island paramedic. Many times he had wished there were another medic on the Island, how often he though of the nice anonymity some of the survivors enjoyed by having no notable profession or skills. Then he normally realized immediately that he would in fact go insane to not be on control of at least a small portion of their Island life.

Abruptly they came to a stop and he saw Kate on the ground in front of them. Locke had rolled her onto her side, he could see she was beginning to come around, but her eyes remained heavy.

"Kate?"

Jack's voice pierced the fog that surrounded her and she startled slightly springing her eyes open. The world continued to swim in front of them so she eased her hand over them and was surprised to find it shaking. She eased herself up slightly and stopped amid a wave of nausea, she did not want to totally embarrass herself.

"Kate? What happened?" Jack was asking her. Everything seemed so sharp she physically felt the words hit her and she was afraid she might vomit again.

"Err," she stumbled on her words, what had happened? She wasn't sure, "I guess I tripped and hit my head?"

"No Kate, I think you just fainted." Locke, what was he doing here? Her brain was aching she needed to lie down, flat, somewhere dark.

She could hear Jack rustling around, he was feeling awkward, good, a part of her brain said, she was beginning to feel rather foolish sitting on the ground here with them standing over her, perhaps she should get up now?

Feeling for the tree next to her she gradually pulled herself upright, feeling nauseated she turned away from her onlookers to steady herself. As she became aware of an arm on hers she raised her head to meet jack's eyes. His gaze was concerned, but did not lack some of the cold anger she had so often seen over the last few weeks, "OK?" he said to her.

"Sure." She attempted to brush it off, unsure whether she could deal with his issues on top of her own.

"Good," Locke intoned cheerfully, "I'm off to find us some boar then, leave her in your capable hands jack?" He did not hang around for the response.

Kate was dimly aware that jack was steering her around, she disliked the action but did not have the will or energy to protest, "I'm taking you back to the hatch, have a look at that cut ok?"

She merely shrugged in response.

As they made their way to the hatch Jack allowed himself to remain half a step ahead of Kate. He was aware that she was struggling, in fact probably stumbling would be the best word, but his pride prevented him from offering a hand to steady her as much as hers prevented her from asking for a slower pace or a helping hand.

So it was in this thick enforced silence that they continue their trudge to the hatch. Reaching the concealed doorway jack made his concession to chivalry and opened the door to allow Kate access ahead of him. Though, if he was perfectly honest with himself he was unsure whether this was a gentlemanly act or he was cutting the risk of Kate peeling away into the jungle to avoid whatever conversation they were about to have. They had so far skillfully avoided having this discussion for six weeks. As she passed by him he saw that whatever was going on, be that between them, in her head, between her and Sawyer, had taken a toll on her unlike any event he had seen so far on the island.

Her posture was slouched, her head stooped low, shoulder slack, she looked, well, defeated. He steered her to a small side room ahead of them that he had set up with the limited amount of medical equipment he had been able to salvage from various places. It contained only basics, a bunk and a shelving unit sparsely populated with dressings and other minor injury treatments.

Without speaking he motioned her to sit on the bunk while he busied himself organizing some equipment to clear her wound. In truth he was not quite ready to face her in her raw state and feared that the questions he needed to ask would break her further. "So, what happened today Kate?" He decided on the light ER doc approach.

She shrugged her eye fixed to the floor, "I felt a little dizzy, I guess, maybe I tripped, maybe I fainted, I'm fine." Her voice was flat and expressionless, not like the fiery Kate he had come to know during their time here.

He remained in levity mode as he approached, "I'm going to clean this out, it's going to sting. I want to keep an eye on you a while, you could be concussed, but then you'd be seeing two of me and that's just a bonus right?"

She did not respond to his joke nor to the sting of the chlorhexdine which he used to clean her head lac, she was disconnected.

Once he had finished his medical task he felt his own confidence faltering in his ability to help her. Perhaps he would be better off sending her back to Sawyer. After all it was him she had confided in originally, jack had no idea what had gone on out there. Or maybe he didn't want to. Her mood, her posture, her whole body was screaming I feel trapped, I'm frightened, but loudest of all, don't touch me. He had seen it before in the victims of sexual assault. Had they hurt her?

Sliding down from his position next to her he crouched on the floor in an attempt to get eye contact with her, "Kate?" he said gently to draw her eyes to focus on him, "What's going on with you?"

She returned his gaze for half a second then turned it down again. Jack could see tears splash onto her jeans, he fought the urge to comfort her. He knew that once you embrace someone, and they feel protected hey don't want that feeling to leave so they stop talking, stop making whatever is in their heads real.

"Kate, Sawyer told me something happened out there, maybe if you talk to me I can-"

"What did Sawyer say?" She whispered.

"He told me to talk to you, that's it Kate, nothing else. He wouldn't tell me anything else."

"It's my own fault, I deserved it. I should have listened to you, now Michael-"abruptly she stopped and broke down into sobs.

Gently he took her hands, "Kate, Michael was crazy with trying to find his son, we would never have caught up with him anyway. Please Kate, talk to me."

She backed away shaking her head, "I can't. Can I go now? I need some air."

"Do you have a headache?"

She shook her head without looking at him, all the time her eyes on the door.

"I'd rather you stayed here, you can rest for a while, I don't want you left alone, you look dehydrated. Kate, Sawyer said you've been vomiting, are you drinking?"

"Jack, I don't feel so good, could I just lay down and we'll talk later."

"Sure, here," he covered her over with a blanket as she lay down, "I'm just going to be outside the door, I've some Dharma reading to catch up on."

He was sure that she was asleep before he shut the door.

Having paced for a good hour and checked on his patient every 15 minutes, which a good practitioner would with a patient with a potential head injury, jack eventually did sit down and catch up on some Dharma initiative reading. The perfect bedtime reading he was, of course, asleep in a short time himself.

Jack woke with a start, not really realizing he had even fallen asleep, why had he jumped? A door had slammed the button? No, he couldn't here anyone or the alarm sounding. Gently he pushed the door to the room he had left Kate in open, she want there. Standing at the door way directly opposite there was a bathroom, the door was slightly agar. He knocked lightly and eased his way in.

Kate was curled over the toilet one hand either side while she vomited. He eased himself down beside her and placed a hand on her back so he was sure she knew he was there. It was a calculated gesture, she knew she had some support yet it was not too intimate. She was soaked with sweat, "Do you have a fever?"

She could just manage a shake of her head while she continued to cough and retch.

"Headache?"

Another shake of the head. After a few minutes the retching calmed and she slid her hands in front of her and rested her head down on them facing the floor.

"Are you vomiting any blood?"

"No," her voice was hoarse with the effort she had expended, "just green, what's that?"

Though he felt a little intrusive doing so he lent over to inspect himself, "It's bile, it's meant to help you digest your food, and I'm guessing you haven't eaten for a while?"

Kate shook her head within the limited movement range she could manage that did not make her want to vomit again.

"How long have you been vomiting?"

"About a week."

"How many times?"

"Four or five, a day." She took a shaky breath and sat herself more upright. Jack could see her features were ashen, she had broken out in a cold sweat, he watched her wipe the back of her hand across her face to try to clear her vision.

"Why didn't you talk to me sooner?"

She shrugged, "I just thought I could handle it, or not, it would go away."

"It hasn't," Jack ventured, "did they drug you? Could you be reacting to something? Clare didn't remember much of anything after they took her-"

Kate visibly shivered, "I remember they didn't drug me, you were angry, I didn't want to tell you."

Jack was startled by her honesty, he considered it a hallmark of their relationship, the dodging around the truth and final confrontation, it seemed she did not have the energy for it, "I was angry at myself, they found my weakness, you, and you got hurt because they wanted to get at me."

Their statements hung in the air between them, but they both knew there were bigger ones looming, "They raped you." Jack stated.

"I think I'm pregnant Jack." She stated back.