Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Pippi Longstocking, she's a character made by Astrid Lindgren.

Sorry for having such a long period of no updates, but school has been kinda stressful lately…

Today's fun fact: The Latin name for the bird Magpie is Pica pica

"Cerulean Gym Battle… and stuff"

John woke up lying on the floor, which he had been sleeping on this night. He groaned at first, but then remembered why he wanted to wake up.

It was today he was a bout to go to the Cerulean Gym to battle for a badge.

Excited, he jumped to his feet. Rushing to the window to look how the weather was. It was sunny. He ran over to the bed and ripped off the sheets, giving his Farfetch'd a rude awakening.

Farfetch'd shot his eyes open and quickly scrambled to his feet, smacking John powerfully in his face.

"What's the big idea waking me up like that?" he almost screams tiredly, readying his leek to smack John once more.

"It's a beauuuutiful day today!" replied John, only to be smacked by Farfetch'd.

"Argh! Could you at least change to your normal clothes instead of standing there in your Pyjamas?"

John slowly got up, and looked at himself. He sweat dropped and laughed. He jumped up and did a 360 spin, magically changing his clothes to his normal ones, which consisted of a green t-shirt and blue jeans. He then landed, checking himself out.

"Wow, I never knew I had that ability, pretty nifty…" he mused. Farfetch'd just fell down on the floor in exasperation. "By the way, Farfetch'd, it's time to go to the gym and fight for a badge."

"Whoo-pe-doo…" Farfetch'd muttered, rolling his eyes.

John didn't really care, so he packed his things and reached for Farfetch'd's pokéball. "I think it's best if you go into you pokéball now, in case you'd scare some people in this city."

"Meh," scoffed Farfetch'd, "the only one who could scare them is you, John."

Outside the PokéCentre, a loud singing could be heard.

"THE PHANTOOOOOM OF THE OPERA IS HEEEEERE, INSIDE YOUR MIIIIND!"

Both John and Farfetch'd jumped up in surprise, and ran to the window. All they saw outside was a faint glimpse of the legendary Pokémon Lugia.

"John," said Farfetch'd tensely, "why did to tell Lugia that it was a great singer?"

John just aimed his pokéball at the duck and recalled him. Suddenly, his face went all red as he gripped the pokéball harder.

"Hutt reduntalla fickalade balla flant!" he screamed, not caring it was pure nonsense. He then stormed out of the PokéCentre and stomped into the gym, kicking the door open.

"That's right! No one's gonna mess with me today!" he screamed triumphantly, only to have the door slammed into his face. "AAAAHAHA! WAAAAH EEAAOOOOWWW!" he wailed, lying on the ground all bleeding in his face.

Twenty seconds later, he was fully revived thanks to his idiot powers. He trotted around jollily as he met a red haired girl we all know very much.

Pippi Longstocking.

All the readers face faulted.

Just kidding, the girl was none other than Misty Waterflower.

"So, uh, hi," he said first. "I wanna challenge you to a battle of a gym badge."

"Well, as usual, if you defeat me, Misty Waterflower, you'll receive this badge." She held up a cascade badge. "Now get your sorry ass on that platform!" She pointed at a square formed platform which was floating on the water.

John hopped onto the platform and stood straight on it, thumping his chest.

"A-HA! You thought I'd fall down, my fellow apples? I do not allow myself to fall down the water of orange juice!"

Misty sighed and pulled a rope, causing the platform to turn around as John fell in the water. However, John leaped out of the water completely dry.

"What the?" said Misty, looking at John strangely.

"I told you I wouldn't allow myself to be drenched in the water of orange juice, HAHA!" he boasted, thumping his chest twice.

Misty seemed to get madder by this and yelled, "It isn't orange juice, you twit! It's pure water!"

At the instant, John was drenched with water, since he didn't say he wouldn't allow himself to get drenched in water.

"Oookay…" mused Misty. "Enough of this, I choose you, Staryu!" After finishing her extremely lame call, she throws her pokéball containing an orange starfish Pokémon with a red jewel in its centre which was its core.

John just threw his pokéball into the water, revealing Farfetch'd swimming around like a duck in the water.

"Staryu, use your Water Gun!" ordered Misty, seizing the open window for attack. Her Pokémon sprayed a blast of water towards Farfetch'd who began to swim away wildly.

"Faaaar!" screamed Farfetch'd in his natural tongue, paddling wildly with his webbed feet.

"Farfetch'd, get out of the water!" John yelled to his Pokerman, her, Pokémon. Farfetch'd jumped up from the water and stood on the same platform John was on. "Now, attack that, ehh, orange starfish thingy!" he ordered

"Farfetch'd leaped up and screeched a war cry, holding his leek ready to smash Staryu.

"Staryu, get down underwater!" countered Misty. The starfish Pokémon dove underwater, and Farfetch'd splashed into the water. "Now, Tackle!" Misty yelled.

Farfetch'd was rammed hard by Staryu many times in a row, and John watched in worry how his Pokémon got beaten.

"Farfetch'd, try to drown it!" he suggested. Farfetch'd surfaced and glared at him. He flew out of the water and slapped John with his wing, returning deliberately into his pokéball.

"That's one," remarked Misty, knowing that she'd have the advantage now.

John got mad and reached for Ka-Boom's pokéball. He picked it up and threw it at Misty. However, Ka-Boom was never in its pokéball, so it sailed right into Misty's face, knocking her down from he platform.

Aggravated of its trainer's stupid action by mistaking it for a pokéball, it let loose of a mighty thunder shock that shocked Misty to unconsciousness. She would've died if she hadn't been launched to dry land by her Staryu which almost exploded due to the extreme electricity caused by the Voltorb.

John jumped from the platform onto the land, and recalled Ka-Boom with a "sorry". When he walked up to the unconscious gym leader, Farfetch'd popped out of his pokéball.

"Well, uh, congratulations! You defeated the gym leader!" he congratulated sarcastically.

"No, she has one Pokémon left!" argued John.

Farfetch'd ignored what his stupid trainer said and looted Misty for a Cascade Badge and tossed it to John.

"But, Farfetch'd, this is stealing!" exclaimed John.

"Nope, you defeated her, and therefore you deserve that badge. And I'll take this too…" Farfetch'd picked up an oversized mallet.

"But THAT is stealing!" John accused, pointing at the duck.

"Trust me, John, you don't want to see her pissed. I've heard rumours about her, so it'd be best if we get the hell out of here quick!" Farfetch'd suggested.

"Okay… just let me pose first." John raised his arm and held the badge straight up. "All right! I got Cascade Badge!" He posed as if he had won a hard battle.

"Whatever," muttered Farfetch'd, testing his newly acquired mallet. But John snatched it from the duck's grasp.

"And I'll take that! You ought to stay to your leeks!" said John.

They both walked out of the gym, but they were greeted by a little surprise.

"Sandy?" John guessed. Though it wouldn't be a hard guess, since he actually paid more attention to the Lickitung who hugged her leg, smiling.

"He refuses to go into his pokéball, but as long as he doesn't lick me, he can cuddle with me," she first said. "Did you beat the gym leader in there?" she then asked.

"Uh, yeah," answered John, showing his (stolen?) Cascade Badge.

"Cool," she just said, crossing her arms. But soon she found it embarrassing with Lickitung clinching her leg. "Come on now, let go! You're embarrassing me!" She managed to pull Lickitung away from her leg, and held the Pokémon in her arms. "And no licking!"

"Well, I'm off to Saffron… or Vermillion, I don't know," John said absentmindedly.

"Hold your horses!"

Both Sandy and John looked down at the duck Pokémon.

"He can talk?" she asked, bewildered of Farfetch'd's ability to speak English.

"Yup, and that is so Fetch, isn't it?" he boasted. "Anyway, John, we're not leaving until you visit a shop to buy more leeks for your own safety!"

"As you see, Sandy…"

"Brute" she cut in.

"Sandy Brute, I need to go now, I'm in a bit of a hurry." With that, John dashed off to the closest leek shop. Sandy just stared.

"What a weird kid… but I have the feeling we'll meet sometime soon." She dodged Lickitung's attempt to lick her swiftly. "I said no licking!" she hissed. Lickitung just cooed back.

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John had entered a vegetable shop and walked up to the clerk.

"Hi, I would like a dozen of leeks, or twenty. Good quality!" he said jollily. The clerk eyed him strangely as he put twenty-five (25) leeks on the counter.

"That'll be-"

John interrupted the clerk with, "I'd like a suggestion where I could hide for the time being. Misty's mad with me after I beat her."

"Oh… try hiding in the Cerulean Cave… by the way, that'll be twenty Pokédollars!"

"Thankyougoodbye!" John quickly said as he handed over twenty yellow bottle caps at the counter, snatched the leeks, and made a run for it.

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After a short while, they were in front of a cave. This was probably the Cerulean Cave he could hide in until Misty's wrath had cooled down. The cave looked kind of inviting, so he figured that it wouldn't be an unpleasant stay.

But before they ventured in, they heard a loud bang. They both turned around to see the roof of the Cerulean Gym fly up and crash down on the building.

"Yep, Misty's awake," stated Farfetch'd. "Better start running." The duck fluttered his wings and flew into the cave. John did the same, only that he didn't possess any wings, so he crashed on the rocky ground, causing rocks to block off the exit.

It got pitch black at an instant, but John had actually been smart for once and had brought his flashlight. He found Farfetch'd lying on the ground, trembling in fear.

"I… I have a feeling we're not alone," Farfetch'd stuttered.

"Well, uh, I'm here. Let's consult my Pokédex!" John picked up his Pokédex and activated it.

"Cerulean Cave: You idiot! You're stuck in a cavern which is infested with Pokémon around level fifty or so, and your level is barely twenty! Good luck… moron"

John got angry, and threw the Pokédex at the ground. He then picked up his (Misty's) mallet and bashed it hard once. "How do you like them apples?" he screamed, picking it up. It seemed to be in top condition though.

"This is what I like… HYAH!" With that, the Pokédex managed to throw John to the ground very hard, how, I don't know. "Now, we're even…"

"John, I'm scared… this place isn't Fetch at all," Farfetch'd whined, "There's something powerful in here… I don't know what… but it feels strange."

"Don't worry, Farfetch'd, there's always another way out!"

"Yeah, through hell?"

Right after the duck said that, he and John were surrounded by a dozen of level fifty Pokémon. None of them seemed to be fond of newcomers.

To be continued…

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Well, so this chapter wasn't that funny, but actually, I smell a plot coming up… about leek smoking!