Jessi: This story has over one thousand hits! It beats my other current story; even though it has twenty-nine chapters compared to Shadow and Light's seven… Maybe Baldur's Gate fans are starved for shounen-ai? There are only two in the whole category after all (including this one). Doesn't anyone else want to write any? No?

It seems that I managed to portray Edwin to everyone's satisfaction last chapter: he is my favorite NPC after all. Let's see how I do with the rest of them.

Uriel eased his eyes open, immediately regretting it. It hurt his head to look at the light and he whimpered, burying himself under the quilts. Moving was also a bad idea, he discovered and clamped a hand over his mouth as a wave of nausea hit him.

He lay perfectly still; appreciating the warm, quiet darkness… until someone tore the blankets from him.

"Well, aren't you a sorry sight?" came the voice of Jaheira above him, "What were you thinking drinking that much?"

Uriel eased one eye open a crack. There was a bottle sitting on the low bedside table, now only a quarter full. He rolled onto his back, preparing to explain, calmly and rationally, to the druid exactly why he'd drunk that much,

"Ngh," was all that he could manage.

Above him Jaheria rolled her eyes and pressed a small vial up against his lips. The sun elf gulped it down, voicing a disappointed mummer when no more liquid was fore-coming. The drink tasted pleasantly of almonds and at once the Bhaalspawn felt his nausea leave. The pounding in his head was also gone.

He sat up, looking up at the druid to give her a radiant smile, but was met still with her frown.

"I'm sorry Jaheira," he croaked, his throat dry, "I didn't- I didn't realize that I'd drunk so much!" his eyes widened and his face slipped into a innocent expression – something he had learn from having Imoen as his friend most his life. The druid remained unmoved,

"It seems that you had a confession to make while you were drunk."

Uriel froze, feeling his heart beating frantically against his ribs. No! No! He hadn't told them… had he? His left arm suddenly developed a dull ache.

"Why did you keep this secret Uriel?" the sun elf dug his fingers into the sheets, not wanting to close his eyes as all he could see were memories of pain. Somewhere far away Jaheira continued,

"Why didn't you tell us that you weren't a paladin anymore?"

The words filtered slowly down to the Bhaalspawn. Relief flooded through the sun elf, though he fought to keep himself from showing it.

"Do you realize how dangerous it could have been? What if one of us needed healing and they were depending on you for it?" the half-elf tossed her hair over one shoulder, "Uriel," this time her voice was soft, "What happened? You kept your faith after Irenicus. Why did you…"

"It wasn't my choice Jaheria. Tyr didn't want me anymore," Uriel played with a strand of white hair, missing its former colour, "It's fine though."

"Fine?" the druid was taken aback, her hands clasping together, "How can it be fine?" an incredulous expression showed on her face.

"I can't explain it myself. But…" he reached over to where Carsomyr leant against the wall. With slightly more difficulty than usual – the Holy Avenger seemed to weigh at least ten more pounds – he pulled it into his lap. He drew it so that only a handful of inches cleared the scabbard, his hand resting easily on the grip, "Carsomyr, it seems, isn't done with me yet."

The sun elf began lacing up his boot, flicking his hair behind his back. His fingers were trembling and he abandoned his task to run his hands together.

Uriel thought about how close he'd come – what he could have confessed instead. Images flashed through his mind of his party's reactions, the disgust and the confusion, the disapproval and the revulsion. But most of all he felt the isolation, the loneliness he would feel he would feel when there was no one left to stand between him and the terrible darkness of his blood.

"You'll have to tell them sooner or later," Imoen leant against the doorframe, her hands rubbing her arms. The ebony skin of her disguise had faded to grey beneath her eyes and her exhaustion was beginning to creep into her voice, "It's alright Uriel. It's not that big a deal," when her brother didn't answer she continued, "I mean, you're our leader. Whether you like men or-"

Uriel's head whipped up,

"Immy!" he glanced around, even though they were the only two in the room, "Suppose someone hears you!"

"I didn't care and neither did Gorion."

"But," the former paladin's voice was so faint now, "suppose what t-they said was true. What if that happens again?" he rested one hand on his left arm, lost in his recollections.

Since the age of sixteen Uriel, the elven ward of Gorion knew that he liked men. While it was true that elves often had relationships with both sexes, women still had no attraction to the young red head.

He confessed this to his best, and indeed only friend Imoen but told no one else.

However, a couple of months later, Uriel developed a crush, a small thing, common among adolescents of all species. Eventually he plucked up the courage to confess his feelings.

But that innocent deed was a very big mistake.

By his confession Uriel, already teased for his feminine looks, his long red hair and his orphan background, gave his tormentors their greatest weapon yet.

The bullying grew worse until one day they cornered the sun elf and beaten him. They'd been about to start pulling out his hair in handfuls when they were interrupted by Gorion lead to the scene by Imoen.

Bruised, battered and clutching his broken left arm to his chest, Uriel flung himself at Gorion and told him everything, sobbing all the while.

What relief it had been to find two people who accepted him, the two people he loved the most.

But there had been so many who had not. Among those had been his instructors as he trained to be a paladin and with their message drilled into his head day after day, the sun elf had given up.

It was very lonely, especially at night when he awoke from terrible nightmares of blood and death. As he lay there in the darkness he longed for someone to hold him and comfort him.

But there was no one and he would wait for the dawn alone.

Always alone.