Author's Note: I loved the reviews on the last chapter! This chapter is definitely one of the ones that has parts of myself and my journey in it, though it mostly isn't about me and is original. The process described as "trauma mapping" I'm not sure if it's something I've come up with or if it is an actual practice but it helped me a lot in figuring things out. The electrical stuff…that's all me. My worst symptom still, actually, though it isn't constant.

Bella was lost in the bliss of her first time with Edward, definitely not wanting to face the day of school…followed by talking to Charlie. She dreaded that particular event so much. Though Edward and Alice both assured her it would go well, her mind was racing with hundreds of worst-case scenarios. What if he did try to shoot Edward and he wasn't bulletproof anymore? What if her dad became enraged and tried to stop the two of them from seeing each other? Would he find out more than they wanted him to know – about vampires or the time they had spent together the night before? Would he feel angry? Betrayed? Scared? She didn't want to scare him either.

She knew that no matter what, Edward would see that they were alright. Nothing in the world could keep them apart now. Still, it was hard to not be haunted by gripping fear the entire day. It was impossible to concentrate on anything. Even his attempts to dazzle her were only met with halfhearted smiles and a thundering heart. The underlying anxiety would not go away. Not without a fight.

The entire drive home, Bella's heart thundered with nerves. Her hands were sweaty. Even Edward singing along with the radio couldn't cheer her up as it usually did. Edward, trusting Alice's visions, wasn't afraid. He knew that Charlie wouldn't harm him and would always side with Bella's happiness eventually.

"If he threatens to shoot you, just leave for the night. Alright?"

"Bella," he laughed and grinned at her. "Bullets won't hurt me."

"Please?"

"Fine." he relented. "If your dad gets too angry, I'll wait safely in the woods until he's asleep. Is that better?"

"Close enough." she agreed.

"Relax. Only a few more obstacles and then forever."

"Forever." she finally smiled, admiring his grin, though her nerves still didn't settle.

Edward stopped the car and making sure that no one was watching, instantly appeared at her side to take her bookbag and help her out. She smiled up at him and held his hand. He didn't have to help her out of the car, in fact she insisted as much, but her unexpected smile every time he did it made sure he helped her every single time.

"It'll be alright. You'll see." he whispered in her ear before they walked up the path and inside.

Charlie greeted them enthusiastically and asked them about their days. Edward answered naturally. Bella kept looking at her feet, finally sitting down and dragging Edward by the hand with her.

"What's going on?" Charlie asked, mildly concerned as he looked at how she wouldn't make eye contact with him.

"We wanted to talk to you." Edward said. "About our future plans."

"I heard you chose a wedding date."

"We did."

"Bella said you've both been applying to colleges, though you'd probably start online first."

"That's right. We have." Edward said. Charlie waited patiently for him to speak again. "Well…this is about a slightly dissimilar topic. I'm sure you've noticed by now that my family is…different." he hesitated, careful with his wording.

"Very."

"Not just with our mannerisms and our unique eye color, but our entire way of life."

"Go on." Charlie encouraged.

"My family…we have a secret. Something that we aren't supposed to tell anyone because there are others like us. Many others. And our laws prevent us from telling outsiders about our skills and what makes us…different."

"But Bella knows what this is?"

"Yes." Bella answered. "But he didn't tell me. I figured it out all on my own. I practically forced it out of him."

"I told her in an attempt to scare her away and convince her I wasn't good for her."

"It didn't work." Charlie said. "And now she's in danger?"

"No." Edward agreed. "I'm no danger to her. None of my family is. We love Bella very much. But because she knows what we are, and because of our laws, after we're married…she's going to change. She has to be changed. We are allowed to wait until after we're married though. And we've chosen to wait that long."

"Change how?"

"Appearance, mostly. Her eyes will turn golden like mine over time. She may be a little more athletic. Might grow a resemblance to my mother and sisters."

"Athletic?" Charlie snorted. "Did you just use that word and Bella in the same sentence?"

Bella was laughing quietly, knowing that he was only joking. "He meant it, dad."

"Is this a prank?"

"No." Bella answered. "It's not. Their family has a secret and I am willingly joining them. I want this more than anything. But for your safety, we can't tell you what that is. Can you accept that?"

"Will I still get to see you?"

"Of course, often. Though maybe not for a couple months at first. We can still talk on the phone and email though!"

"I never wanted this for Bella. This is half of the true reason why I attempted to leave her forever. The other half you already know. I never felt like I was good enough for her. That I would deserve her. At least not until recently." he said and she squeezed his hand gently.

"This…whatever this is…is it a burden?"

"In ways I can't possibly explain, though it's getting better."

"Will she be hurt?"

"There will be some pain as she transitions. For approximately three days. After that, no. I would never harm her if I could help it. I've tried to talk her out of it so many times. She's insistent."

"I want this."

"And there's no changing your mind, huh?" Charlie asked.

"No." Bella answered. "And you must not tell anyone. For my safety and that of the entire Cullen family. You can't tell anyone."

Charlie's mind was calm yet chaotic. His thoughts weren't anywhere near vampires. Instead, he was thinking of the TV show Bewitched, witches, fortune tellers, and a whole host of other things that were almost entirely human. Definitely not vampires. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. "I won't." he finally answered.

"There are a few things I feel safe telling you, Charlie." Edward said.

"Go on."

"She'll still be Bella. She'll just look different. More like my sisters. She will be stronger and safer. We don't harm anyone. We're vegetarians." he tried to stifle a grin. Charlie had looked away in thought. Bella failed at trying to hold back a giggle. "I tried to stay away from her when we first met. I promise. I tried so hard. I even stayed with family out of state for a while. But I've always felt this pull towards Bella. She's my-" he hesitated, trying to come up with a human appropriate word to explain it. "Soulmate."

A tear slid down Bella's face that she tried to dry inconspicuously on a sleeve. Edward saw it and kissed her head. Hearing Edward acknowledge that he had a soul, even in passing, was beautiful. A mark of how far they'd come together.

Her father looked up at him. "I hated you at first. And for a very long time. There's always been something off about you no matter how much respect I have for your mother and father. But that night when you came back, when I saw how the two of you interact when it's like no one else is there-" he hesitated a moment, remembering. "I understand. At least I think as much as is possible for me to. If you promise me she will be safe, then whatever you're doing, I trust that. I trust you. It's her choice."

"Thanks, dad."

"Thank you. That means more than you can possibly know." Edward said. "I will take care of her. You have my word, and that of my entire family."

"I know how to use a gun." Charlie said, half joking and half serious. "Guns do still work on you, don't they?"

"Let's hope you never find out." Edward chuckled.

"Well, now that that's settled." he replied, getting up out of his chair. "How about some dinner?"

"I'll cook." Bella said, jumping up.

"Nonsense. I'm learning a few tricks. Vegetarian – eh?" Charlie asked Edward, who laughed.

"Something like that."

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"I believe Esme is expecting me." Edward smiled, standing up and kissing Bella on the head. "But I might come back by later if that's alright."

"You're going to anyhow, aren't you? I hardly see you two apart anymore and you've just spent the whole weekend away. I don't expect you to be far."

"Exactly." Edward answered with a smile as he went to go spend a few hours with his family while the humans had their dinner.

"I don't suppose I can talk you into telling me what Edward means in secret, can I?" Charlie asked.

"I wouldn't betray his trust like that."

"You're sure this is what you want?" His eyebrows were raised and it was clear he was trying to puzzle things out in his mind.

"Positive."

"They aren't in the mob or anything are they?'

"No." Bella laughed, caught off guard by his assumption. At least, the last she checked there were no vampire mobs. Well, perhaps the Volturi… "Carlisle makes plenty of money as a surgeon."

"In Forks?"

"He consults on cases for other hospitals too."

"That's true." Charlie agreed.

"And Edward's parents left him a large inheritance that Carlisle invested for him until he is old enough to take over. They don't need money."

"Are they wizards? Fairies?"

Bella snorted laughing. "No, and even if you guessed correctly, I wouldn't tell you."

"Why am I not allowed to know about them?"

"Let's just say they're really strong. He told you that. If you knew there was a whole bunch of people with super strength, would you not want to do all you could to be like them and to gain that for yourself? Not only that, but how unfair would it be if people in sporting competitions was always accusing the other of being different like them too? It would just cause a lot of trouble and drama and might even make their lives unsafe if people tried to provoke them or force them to change them."

"Ah." Charlie agreed. "I still don't understand why you have to change and can't just be sworn to secrecy."

"They have their own laws and…police. Government. It just doesn't work like that. Besides-" she hesitated, wondering how much she could tell him. "There are places Edward has to go sometimes right now that I can't follow. Me becoming more like him would let me follow him anywhere. Any time."

"Like this past weekend?"

"Yeah."

"He wasn't camping?"

"He was. With his father and brothers, yes. But they like to go places normal people can't get to. They love…exploring."

"I just don't see you as the athletic hiking type."

"Me neither." she agreed. "But it's not about that. I love Edward and want to be with him forever."

"What happens if you ever decide you don't want to be with him anymore?"

"Then I don't have to be." she said. "But why would I ever do that?"

"Just making sure you've thought this through."

"I have. I promise. Besides, you know we can't be separated. We would never want to be apart."

"I do know that now." he agreed. "I'm not going to pretend to understand all of…this. But I'm not supposed to anyhow, am I? Just as long as I don't lose you. Or see you hurt."

"You will never lose me, dad. I love you. And trust me, it's completely impossible for him to hurt me. That's not in his nature. Not Edward."

"I love you too. I just want what's best for you."

"I know. And this is. Edward is going to take great care of me. And I'll be with Carlisle and Esme and Alice too. Rosalie is being nice to me. Emmett would never let anyone hurt me. Not even his own brother. He's already told me that if Edward ever tries to leave again – he's going to beat him up."

"The big one?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Charlie said, starting to cut chicken into little strips. "I like the sounds of that. Now chicken…you cook until there's no more pink…right?"

"Right." she said, breathing a sigh of relief that Edward and Alice had been correct. Charlie didn't freak out.

"I'm learning."

"You are. What's for dinner?"

"Chicken parmesan? The pasta doesn't have to be microwaved too long – does it?"

She rolled her eyes teasingly. "Let me help you this time. Next time, you're on your own."

"Deal." he said, watching as she showed him step by step how to bread the chicken and cook pasta to the right texture.

"Dad, how come you never learned how to cook?"

"My father said it wasn't manly. We could grill. And fish fry. And that's about it."

"But why? I mean – everyone eats."

"I know."

"Why didn't you learn once you were out on your own?"

"I tried. With your mom as a teacher, it was a disaster. I tried a cookbook but it didn't make any sense. I burned a few things and served myself raw chicken once on accident. I decided to stick to the diner and fish."

"I can teach you, if you'd like."

"I think I would like that." he agreed.

"Was grandpa mean to you?"

"No. Not intentionally. I know he loved me. His dream was to have a son. But he had some very old-fashioned beliefs that it's been hard for me to shake. Especially about what a man should be and should and shouldn't do."

"You might have starved."

"I've always been able to make a sandwich and grill a steak." he shrugged. "But talking about anything other than a task at hand or the weather or what was on TV…this is new. It isn't easy. But I'm glad you're here with me."

"Me too."

"I'm learning."

"You're doing great."

"Does Edward not like our cooking?"

"It's not that." Bella answered with a smile. "Can we just say his family eats a special diet and leave it at that?"

"As long as it isn't people."

"No." she grinned. Her father had no idea how close he'd come to the truth. "They tell me they save people eating for special treats and occasions."

"Oh, good. So, I can expect a human feast at your wedding? I've always heard human meat is really tender."

"From who? Your cannibal friends at the police office? Is that what they do with the bodies? Oh my God! This isn't chicken, it's someone's leg!" she squealed.

Charlie laughed and she caught his eye, laughing as well. She laughed harder than he had seen since she was a little girl. It was beautiful and awe inspiring. She was loved.

"This isn't human." he said sternly before cracking up laughing with her. She might be an adult now, but Bella was always his little girl.

"Good. Because I have no idea what kind of pasta goes with person."

"I'll be sure to ask the next time I arrest a cannibal."

"I thought you said your job was all speeding tickets."

"Pretty much." he agreed, watching intently as she prepared the sauce.

"Here." she said, gently grabbing his hand and showing him how to hold a cheese grater without hurting himself. "Grate the cheese?"

"That, I can handle."

After they both were full of laughs and pasta, father and daughter settled in around the TV to relax and watch something before bed, or in Bella's case, before Edward came back for the evening.

"Carlisle wanted me to talk to you, dad."

"What about?"

"He has this thing he's been working on. I don't know what to call it…a procedure? An activity? I don't know. It's to help people who know they aren't completely well mentally." she hesitated, not wanting to upset her father. "Or who think they might have c-ptsd or something else but aren't sure where to start. It's to help understand yourself and your past better."

"And this is something you've done?"

"Kind of. I did a little out loud with Edward and Jasper. He says you can do it out loud or write it down or whatever you prefer."

"And he thinks this is something I should know?"

"It would be a good place for you to start and it's something we can do together, if you'd like. But only if you feel comfortable with that. He said for treatment to be truly successful there should never be any pressure to share things with anyone. They even offer to not have Edward there for me but of course I always want him there."

"I have nothing to hide from you. What do we do?" Charlie asked, leaning forward a little in his seat.

"He calls it trauma mapping but he doesn't think it's the original term for it. It might even be something he's just invented on his own. He's not really sure. Basically…you think of one thing that you know scares or upsets you and then you try to think of as many memories of that thing as you can. It helps organize your thoughts and show the roots of your traumas. If you get too sad or upset, you can always take a break or write down some happy memories too."

"Give me an example."

"Edward bought me drawing supplies after I told him that mom would always make fun of my drawings. I convinced myself that I was no good to the point that playing Pictionary at a party or drawing a diagram for an assignment always made me nervous and uncomfortable. But when I started thinking about it, it wasn't just mom making fun of me once. There were lots of memories of her doing it. Then there were teachers that would say the same thing or make fun of how I held my crayons. Or comments about wasting my time. So I quit…and it's no wonder I grew to hate it so much."

"And Edward, he encouraged you to start drawing again?"

"He bought the supplies. Rosalie encouraged me and gave me a lesson. Well, two, we had some free time in class today. She taught me how to do realistic flowers."

"That was sweet of her."

"It was." she agreed. "An example Jasper gave me is a patient in one of his studies for class. She would have a miniature panic attack every time she plugged something into an electrical outlet. She thought it was just fear because she grew up in a really old house where electrical issues were common."

"Was that all it was?"

"No." Bella said. "Even once she was in a newer, safer house, she found that the fear stayed. She still panicked sometimes to the point of crying whenever she had to plug something in. But she couldn't just not do it because then she wouldn't be able to cook or charge her phone easily."

"So, what helped her?"

"She still struggles sometimes. The answer is different for everyone. He said watching an electrician wire a few outlets and talk her through the safety features helped some. Studying the risks of house fires. Having a plan to get to safety if it ever happened."

"And if it wasn't the old house that had her so scared, what was it?"

"Growing up in the old house was part of it. She remembered sparks and even being shocked one time. But it turns out she was also catastrophizing once she was in her safe house. She knew that the worst thing likely to happen was a spark or something just not working when plugged in and she'd call an electrician and it would be fine. But her anxiety told her that the house would catch fire. It showed her mental images of smoke pouring out of outlets like she had seen in movies or those commercials that warn you not to leave your Christmas tree turned on overnight. And she couldn't figure out why she was so scared. She was out of that awful house.

So, she started writing down all of the electricity and fire related things she could remember. There were outlet issues in the old house. But there was also one of her parents deliberately threatening to make her fears come true by setting the house on fire if she kept crying. There was her dad plugging things in despite her sitting there in fear terrified to do it, making fun of her for crying and causing her to sit awake all night scared. There was her friend's house that caught fire when they were kids. And her aunts. And the stories her grandma told her about the housefire she had survived growing up too. The girl in the case study, she thought house fires and electrical fires were really common. And studying the statistics and stuff helped some but really laying it all out and seeing why she was scared make so much more sense. She understood the fear. She realized she wasn't crazy. That she was conditioned to feel that way by how she grew up. When several relatives have fire stories, of course you would think it's something everyone goes through. And while discovering that didn't make her instantly recover, it gave her the understanding and the strength she needed to start working on it. She knew it wasn't an irrational fear. There was a reason."

"That poor child."

"Yeah."

"I hope she is happy now."

"Me too."

"The thing that gives me the most anxiety…besides raising a teenager…" he started while she rolled her eyes playfully. "is wanting my father to be proud of me."

"I'm sure he is."

"I know he is, but there's always that wonder?"

"What do you think that affects?"

"Everything. My job, which I do love thankfully, my skills like not knowing how to properly cook, my emotions, the ones I've always tried to hide and pretend didn't exist over the years. How I've treated you. And it makes me worry sometimes about if my dad was always right – but then I feel guilty for even thinking anything bad about him."

"Then you know how much it pains me to say anything bad about my mom."

"I do." he agreed.

"Not knowing how to cook. That's an easy enough place to start. I can't tell you how many times he said things like 'Men don't need to learn that kind of stuff. They just find a good woman to do it for them.' and 'Real men fish and butcher their own meat.' My mom was always happy to cook for us and take care of us, so it never bothered me not knowing. The few times I would try to help her beyond just peeling potatoes or something, she would insist that I go and help my father or find something to do outside. She said it wasn't my place. And I know she meant well. And that she loved me. But a lifetime of events like that makes me afraid of doing things in the kitchen. It feels…wrong…to me, even though I know we need to eat. And I don't think a woman's place is the kitchen. Not if she doesn't want to be there."

"I'm glad."

"Me too. Does Edward-?"

"He won't even let me open my own car door." she laughed. "If I want to cook, he's fine with it. But he doesn't insist that I do it or anything."

"I just thought, from seeing Esme."

"Do you think Alice would get her nails dirty enough to cook anything?"

Charlie laughed. "Suppose not."

"Esme does because she likes to. It makes her happy to be the perfect housewife for Carlisle."

"I'd say she does a pretty good job of it."

"The best." Bella agreed.

"I do always get nervous when it storms really bad. I've never told anyone that. Why should I? A cop…terrified of thunder and lightning?"

"Is it because of the noise?"

"No…" he said, drifting off in thought. "Now that I really think about it…no. It's because the first time I ever pulled someone over was in a bad storm. It was hard to see us for the rain. And as I was standing outside his window issuing his ticket, someone almost hit me. Missed me by inches. And then, I remember lightning striking the truck one time while I rode to the store with my dad. The sound was unbelievable. And the energy humming all around us. My mom was scared of storms too. I remember how she'd always jump and frantically look out the window. It's possible that it's learned behavior in me too. Huh…I never thought about it like that. I've always just said I was a sissy or a chicken. But perhaps there is a real reason."

"It sounds like it."

"And so what if I was a sissy? There's nothing wrong with a man that can cook. Most of the famous chefs are men. And there's nothing wrong with being feminine if I wanted to."

"Just don't start borrowing my clothes."

"You're not my size." he teased.

"I get scared when I'm walking down long flights of stairs. I thought I was afraid of heights."

"You aren't?"

"No. I've fallen…through windows…and downstairs too many times. It's because some part of my mind is worried it will happen again. Learned behavior."

He winced at memories of her getting injured, like that time when she had run off to Phoenix. "It's funny how much learned behavior teaches us how to think and act, isn't it?"

"Yeah. So, a lot of my anxieties…they've come from mom. Either by watching her. Or her teasing me. Stories she'd tell me about her friends and how they did things so wrong in her eyes. And I was hesitant with Edward at first too even though I immediately loved him more than anything…because of her. I didn't want to make the same mistakes she said she had."

"That isn't fair to you."

"No, it wasn't."

"I'm glad things worked out and he came back."

"Me too. Without him…it was like every bad thing she ever told me was right. I felt like I could never make anyone happy or do anything right."

"You don't need a man to prove to you that you can and do make people happy."

"No, I don't. But losing him…it felt like she knew I wasn't good enough. I knew I wasn't good enough. At least, that's how I felt then."

"You know better now, I hope?"

"Yeah, I do. It's hard to shake her voice in my mind sometimes though. I still have nightmares. She's telling me that I will never amount to anything. That I waste too much time on dumb things like reading and drawing. That I'm not pretty enough. That Edward will leave if I don't put more effort into my appearance and keeping him happy. He promises that isn't the case."

"I know it isn't. He has nightmares too, I know."

"He does." she agreed. Flashbacks were close enough to nightmares. It wasn't really a lie. "It helps if we're together. If we can wake up and see each other, it's usually enough to calm us."

"Isn't he supposed to be back soon?"

"Yeah. Probably any minute."

Charlie nodded. "Say, do you have a spare journal or notebook I could borrow? I'd like to give that trauma mapping idea a thorough shot."

"Sure." she said, going up to her bedroom and returning with an empty notebook for Charlie.

"Pink?"

"Hey, you said you weren't afraid of your feminine side anymore."

"True, but pink?" he repeated in amused disgust.

"That's all I had. Besides, even I don't like pink. You know that." she laughed as someone knocked gently on the door. Charlie shook his head and took it to the kitchen table to start work. "About time you got here." she said, answering the knock.

"I wanted to give you two a chance to finish talking."

"You were listening?"

"Only to the last minute or two. I promise. I wasn't trying to pry."

"I know."

"Sounds like he took things rather well."

"Yeah, he did." she agreed, wrapping her arms around Edward. "Ready to go upstairs?"

"Hi Charlie!" Edward called into the kitchen, not wanting to be rude.

"Hey, Edward."

"Yeah, let's go upstairs." he said softly in her ear. "Unfortunate that we'll have to behave."

"I have some new drawings to show you." she said in her normal volume, though her racing heart said that she heard what he meant her to.

"Is that so?"

"Rosalie helped me."

"I'm glad."

"Oh, and Bitten is here."

"And I suppose you want me to read it with you?"

"Well, I do have to read it for work. I was hoping we could read the first chapter together. Perhaps you'd read it to me like a bedtime story?"

"You jest."

"Only in part." she said with a smile. "You can use my highlighter to mark the parts you disagree with, if you'd like."

"All of it." he said, shaking his head and following his love up the stairs for bed.