Sorry I took so long with thise one; I really thought I'd posted it already. Oh well…
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So, I think one more chapter until I've done everything that I posted the second time…
It's only been a month and five chapters! Well a month and a half, but I'm improving! Yay!
My life is sad
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Sons of bitches at mean I have to repost this chapter but Google ain't got it cached. Or whatever. Fuck it. I'm angry. So here it is.
Not-So-Real-World Productions Presents:
The Parody of the Rings: Season One
Part 4, and fuck you too!
Scene 56, Take 2 (beep!)
(Aragorn leaps from shadows and attacks Riders)
Merry: This fight will end in tears, I tell you…
Pippin: It's all fun and games until someone loses and eye and gets burned by a brand…
Scene 56, Take 1 (beep!)
Pippin: Will he die?
Aragorn: You're pretty direct, aren't ya?
Scene 57, Take 2 (beep!)
Aragorn: Sam, do you know athelas?
Sam: Athelas…?
Aragorn: Kingsfoil!
Sam: Kingsfoil…?
Aragorn: Man, you're one crappy gardener.
Scene 57, Take 3 (Beep!)
Aragorn: Sam, do you know athelas:
Sam: Athelas…?
Aragorn: Kingsfoil!
Sam: Er…it's…(looks to PJ, who is waving his arms and making signs)…Erm…A weed…
Merry: Weed! What I wouldn't give for some weed…
Scene 57, Take 4 (Beep!) Woods by Weathertop
Voice: (holding sword to Aragorn's neck) What's this…A Ranger off his guard? Tsk, tsk…NOW GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY!
Scene 58, Take 1 (beep!)
(Arwen enters; Aragorn rubs athelas on Frodo's wound)
Frodo: (groans several times) Hey…that's the stingy stuff! Ow!
Aragorn: Suck it up, Frodo!
Scene 58, Take 2 (Beep!)
Arwen: The power of my people will protect him.
Aragorn: That's all you ever talk about! Your people…What about me!
Arwen: Hmm. Tell ya what, have your people talk to my people.
Scene 58, Take 3 (Beep!)
(Arwen rides off with Frodo)
Sam: You can't let her go! She hasn't told me any Elvish recipes yet!
Day 10, Scene 59, Take 1 (Beep!)The Chase to Rivendell
(Riders appear and pursue Arwen)
R1: Y'know what, guys? This is too hard!
R2: You're right! Forget this!
R3: Yeah! Sauron was cutting out wages, anyway!
R4: Well he IS giving us health insurance…
R5: Stop being such a good undead, four.
PJ: ARGH! DAMN RIDERS!
Scene 59, Take 1 (Beep!)
Arwen: If you want him, come and claim him!
R2: No, we want you, baby!
R3: Oh yeah!
Scene 59, Take 3 (Beep!)
(Water rushes down River from Ford)
R1: All right…off the set…Scene's done…Peter? Hey! The water's coming at us!
R2: Guys! Why is everyone else running away?
R3: Yeah, where are our stunt doubles for this scene?
R4: Hmm…
R5: Oh, CRAP! LOOK!
(points to Ford, still flooding, coming full force at them)
R1: AAARGH! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT THIS--(drowned in oncoming water)
R2: NOOO! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE--(drowns)
R3: (rushing his horse quickly) C'mon, we can make it! I know I can--(drowns)
R4: NOOOOOOO! (drowns)
(All the riders drown--except one)
Rider Captain: (still running from oncoming water--horse breathes heavily) No…Not now…Curse ye, WETA---(drowns)
PJ: (running on set) They drowned…? They drowned!
Arwen: YES! WE DID IT!
(Everyone exchanges high fives)
Day 10 Diary
PJ: Well, we're back. We got rid of some worthy undead coughRiderscough and new ones should be "flown" (wink, wink) in soon. Rivendell is set up, and Bilbo is currently being hauled away (kicking and screaming, I hear) from Vegas so we can do the scenes.
Scene 59, Take 4 (beep!)
Arwen: No, Frodo! Don't give in…Not now…
(Arwen holds Frodo close)
Aragorn: (appearing) Oh, Arwen, why do you torture me so?
Day 11, Scene 60, Take 1 (Beep!) Straying from thought & time
(focus zooms in and out--faces appear and fade)
Frodo: (thinking) Whoa…Now I KNOW I had too much to drink at the Prancing Pony…
Day 12, Scene 60, Take 2 (Beep!) Rivendell
Voice: It is October the 24th, 10 in the morning…
Frodo: Gandalf! Why didn't you meet us at the inn?
Gandalf: I got…delayed. Y'know the deal. Vegas. Passports. Recording studios…That stuff.
Scene 60, Take 3 (Beep!)
Sam: Mr. Frodo! (runs in)
Gandalf: Sam, here, has hardly left your side…
Sam: Well, that was just to stay away from the great food they got here…With the diet an' all…
Scene 61, Take 1 (Beep!) Rivendell Balcony
Merry and Pippin: Frodo!
(Hobbits gather: big hug)
Sam: Me too! (jumps into others)
(Frodo, being knocked by Sam, falls over balcony)
(Splash as Frodo hits the water hundreds of feet below)
Frodo" (shouting up) I'm…okay!
Scene 61, Take 2 (Beep!)
Bilbo: Frodo, m'lad!
Frodo: Hmph!
Bilbo: Frodo…? What is it?
Frodo: Your will! You gave away ALL that stuff! What about ME! I only got Bag End! What about your stocks, or bonds, your whole damn portfolio!
Bilbo: In Eh? It's a recession, dammit! And plus…Gandalf stole all my other stuff…Dirty bastard…Thinks I don't know…
Scene 62, Take 1 (Beep!)
Gandalf: We can ask no more of him--
Elrond: Sure we can! Just go, "Frodo, take the damn Ring to Mt. Doom in the desolation of Mordor!" Or toss it to him, and then shout at Frodo, "No backsies!"
Scene 62, Take 2 (Beep!)
Elrond: Men? Men are weak…Dumb, too! Sheesh. Oh, and they smell! Bunch of losers…
Scene 62, Take 3 (Beep!) Flashback--Mt. Doom
Elrond: Cast it in the flame, Isildur!
Isildur: (grins) No…
Elrond: Isildur! Why you li'l--(pushes Isildur into the Flame)
PJ: Oh, great, now we need a new Isildur!
Scene 62, Take 4 (Beep!)
Gandalf: There is one who could lead them…
Elrond: Aragorn? Pssh! He's a wuss. And If I catch him making out with Arwen again…
Scene 63, Take 1 (Beep!) Shrine of Narsil
(Aragorn looks up to Boromir)
(Boromir drops Sword and walks away)
Aragorn: That's right, punk! You betta not mess with the heir of Isildur!