Chapter 5-Officially Broken Up
Scene: The day after the party-Monday- Emma is in her room all alone, the lights out.
Emma:
I'm laying in my bed,
Tears nuzzling at my cheek as I listen to the rain and wonder what he's up to…
All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Scene: Sean's apartment (He's all alone too, his lights are on in certain rooms throughout the house. He's not really paying attention to them, though.)
Sean:
She's gone and everything I'd been doing
Seems like a waste of time now.
But still
I force myself out of bed and walk into the living room picking up the phone.
"Mr. Harris," I say, not having to fake a tired voice
Because my voice is already low, tired, and sickly
"Yeah, I'm gonna need the day off…"
I say, nodding and rubbing my throat a little.
"Ok. Thanks Mr. Harris…"
I know that I can't just up and quit;
I won't have any money.
But part of me is just saying
What's the point?
And I sink into the couch
Feeling worse than I thought I ever could.
I wish that Emma had let me explain
But she just stormed out
Not even looking back at me
And now?
Now I'm just waiting for it to begin;
The downward spiral that I always end up in without her.
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I'm officially missing you
Emma:
My parents didn't even ask if I was going to school today
I guess they just knew.
I wish I'd just known.
I have no idea what I was thinking getting back with Sean to begin with…
It all seems so pointless now.
And I wish that I hadn't let him in again.
I wish I hadn't let him hurt me.
But I did
And now
Here I am
Heartbroken over Sean, once again.
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
Sean:
I could always pretend that I didn't care
That I wasn't "emotionally involved" or whatever,
With everyone else
But with Emma?
It was impossible not to be.
It was kinda pointless to pretend that she meant nothing
When just looking in her eyes
Reduced me to being a blubbering idiot.
Not this time,
I think determined not to let this tear me down
To nothing
But even as I think it…
I know it won't work
Never has.
And a tear slides down my cheek as though confirming this…
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you
Emma:
Maybe I'll just go back to Peter,
Or some other new guy
Get my mind off of Sean completely…
I think, as I sit up rubbing the tears from my eyes.
Peter…he was so good to me…
Why did I leave him for Sean?
At this moment I try to convince myself that this thought makes sense,
But my mind is screaming the obvious answer that I don't want to hear,
You love Sean…
And I sigh a little,
Realizing that dating some other guy for a quick fix isn't going to help this time.
This pain is going to have to be felt,
Just something I'll have to deal with,
Like every other memory of Sean that seems to be flooding my mind…
Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially…
Sean:
The day is shaping up to be pretty crappy…
First, I woke up feeling like crap after
everything that happened last night.
Then I just laid there,
Replaying the last 2 weeks over and over in my mind
And trying to figure what I could've differently
To avoid all this mess.
And now…?
Now I look over and see a picture of Emma…
Staring back at me
Her eyes so full of happiness and love
And I can feel myself shaking a little
As the tears start up.
Shit!
All I do is lay around
Two ears full tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Emma:
Sean,
Sean,
Sean,
That's all I can think about
And each time I think about his name
It's hurts more.
I hate him so much!
But I still wonder what he's doing…
Even though I hate him!
I wonder if he misses me…
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all
I don't know you at all
Sean:
I open the freezer/fridge
Looking for some kind of…something
To take my mind off of her.
But everything in here reminds me of her
Salad; she's a vegetarian
Chocolate milk; she'd bring me a bottle of it every Wednesday cuz she knows I love it
Mashed potatoes; from last nights dinner party…
Ice cream; because she would eat it-this kind rocky or chunky something-whenever she watched dumb soap operas.
I don't even bother to try and get anything and just slam the door closed.
If Emma had just listened to me…
If she would just let me explain…
Maybe I wouldn't be slumping down into the couch
Clicking on the Tv…
Blasting the radio…
Trying to get my mind off of her…
When all I can seem to do, is stare at the phone
Hoping she'll call…
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say
That I'm officially missing you
Even though I'm angry at Emma for not listening
I'm getting madder and madder at myself
For not just telling her what was going on…
Why it hurts to talk to her,
To look at her sometimes,
And why I just can't seem to let her go;
Let her move on to someone who won't screw everything up
And hurt her over and over again.
Someone who deserves her.
But even though I can see her with someone else…
I can't picture myself with anyone but her.
Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially…
Emma:
It's so strange
That I'm always the one who breaks with Sean,
Well, except maybe once,
And still I just can't seem to stop regretting it.
From the moment I stepped out his door
All I could think about,
All I wanted to think about,
Was Sean.
And I think that frustrates me more than any of the dumb stuff he does.
It's kinda like he knows that I can't seem to get over him
So he figures he can just keep the bullshit coming.
Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that's something I just can't do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way
To let go of you
Oh well,
It looks like this time won't be any different.
It's not like I haven't been heartbroken before but I'm just…
Well this time I'm just too tired to try.
I've tried telling Sean
That he's worth something.
That he's better than drinking, and stealing and fighting and…
Drug dealing.
But whatever head games he always trips himself up with
He can never seem to get it.
I mean God! Why do I have to try so hard just to be with him!
All I want is to need him and not feel bad about it.
To have him in my arms and not have to feel like, like
I can trust that he'll know that that's all I want.
Nothing else.
I'm not sure that he ever will…
It official
You know that I'm missing you
Sean:
I wish Emma would just…I don't even know.
I just wanna forget about her, but I can't
Jay's in jail he can't come hang,
He was my best friend.
Well, Emma was my best friend
My baby,
She always is.
I don't know how the Hell I kept screwing up
But it's too late now…
Now she's gone and I doubt she's not coming back this time…
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
Scene: (Sean laying on his couch...
Emma laying on her bed)...
Sean/Emma:
But, I guess I can always hope...
They both think and. A Tear slides slowly down both their cheeks
And I'm officially missing you.
What do you think? Well let me know and the next chapters will be up soon!
Jazzy-Raveler!