Chapter 5

Tears

"God!" Emma said suddenly as she burst up from her bed, tears already streaming down her face. Manny was gone and so she jumped from her bed, throwing her pillow to the ground. "Why do I even bother trying to freaking sleep!" she said as she fell to the ground sobbing.

Her nightmare had awakened her once again. This time Sean had died. Rick had killed him and then he'd walked toward her and shot her to death, and then turned the gun on himself shooting himself. But then, the gun had appeared in Emma's hand and Rick and Sean both had looked up at her "You did this!" They both shouted at her until she woke up screaming.

Emma got up from her place on the floor and rushed to the window. The need to breathe overwhelmed her and she fell into the grass gasping for her sanity.

"Why Rick? Why did you have to die? Why did you want to kill me?" Emma sobbed, as she made her way across her grass till she finally collapsed again in tears. "Why? Why Sean Cameron? Why did you have to leave just when I needed you? I know I wasn't your girlfriend but I really needed you. I wanted you. I thought that you would be there for me! Why did you even save my life if you were just going to make me wish I was dead?" Emma said, taking her anger out on the grass, as she ripped it from the ground. Maybe I'm so unbearable that people can't stand me, she thought, Rick wanted to kill me and then Sean left me. Maybe the problem is…me she thought, and broke into uncontrollable sobs as she let her body fall helplessly into the grass.

Slight Scene Change: The street in front of Emma's house.

Maybe he needed to pump himself up that night, before he could face her the next day. Maybe he just wanted to see that her house was still there, like it had always been. He wasn't sure, but either way he just happened to be walking that street at that moment, striding slowly towards her house.

As he got closer, he saw something laying in the grass. A body? He thought at first, but as he drew closer, he realized that this "body" was breathing, heavily. He stopped short, squinting in the dark to try and make out the figure and just as he made out who it was, he also said the name more to himself than to her "Emma?" his voice trembled as he spoke and his body trembled as she looked up at him; her blonde hair beautified even more by the moonlight.

Even though she'd acknowledged him, he stayed where he was in the street, and she stayed where she lay. Neither of them breathed, neither of them moved, just stared at one another in the darkness.

Scene Change: Craig's Garage/Room

Craig slipped into his room smiling to himself. He'd gotten he and Ellie's pictures developed and just looking at them, the fresh memory, made him smile at his luck for having such a cool friend.

"Where have you been?" he heard from behind him and he turned toward Manny, who sat arms and legs crossed with a questioning look on her face. "Manny?" Craig said walking towards her slowly; he knew her well enough to know when she was upset. "Yeah, Craig. Manny. Your girlfriend, remember? The one who came to see you and waited for you almost-" she paused as she stood up, staring at her watch "2 ½ hrs. Now where the hell were you!"

Manny's tone shocked Craig. She'd never screamed at him like this before. It actually puzzled him, but he answered as best he could, calmly "I hung out with Ellie today. That's all." Manny just stared at him, blinked a few times and then, her eyes full of anger, she shouted "You couldn't call me! Let me know that I wouldn't be seeing you today!" "God Manny! I mean, you could've called me. I didn't know it was that big a deal. You're not the only person I have to visit." Manny huffed "Well, I should still be the one you call! I should be the one you talk to and make sure that I'm doing ok!" The way she was saying should implied that there was someone else he called instead. Manny continued "I mean how am I supposed to know when I'm going to see you!" As Manny said this, her voice cooled a little and she walked toward Craig, wanting him to hug her up and calm her nerves.

"Manny, I was going to call you as soon as I got home," Craig said taking her into to his arms and hugging her gently. Manny sighed, relieved all too soon as Craig said, "I mean, it's not like you haven't been spending the night, every night since I've been back. I guess I just figured you'd come tonight too."

Manny's body tensed at Craig's words, and she snapped her head up glaring at him, her eyes filling with tears "So what am I? Just you're whore?" Craig shook his head speechless, "Manny-I-I-I didn't mean-" Manny reached over and slapped Craig, knocking the photo pack from his hand. Craig stared at her and held his stinging face, but Manny's attention turned towards the ground. One particular picture caught her eye.

Craig and Ellie sat on a park bench hugging one another. Craig had Ellie pulled tightly to his chest and she smiled happily at the cameraman. Craig was kissing her redhead and Manny could almost see the delight on Ellie's face. Manny stooped down and picked up the picture. "So I'm just your whore now, and she's your girlfriend is that it!" "Manny you're overreacting!" Craig said stepping towards her trying to hug her. "Craig, DON'T!" Manny said, and as she raced towards and out the door she burst into tears. Craig stared after her, trying to figure out what he'd done wrong now.

Scene Change: Outside Emma's house

Emma stood up slowly and just stared at the person in front of her. The tears were fresh on her face and a few more rolled down. She didn't even try to wipe them away; if this was truly who she thought it was, she didn't give a damn if he saw her crying.

"Jay?" She said angrily, trying to figure out why in the world he was at her house; at 3 in the morning no less. "No, no-Emma," he stuttered "Sean. It's me-Sean." Sean said, taking off his grey hoodie so she could see his face clearer. Emma gasped, backed up a little and then she repeated to herself in a whisper, "Sean Cameron." Sean nodded and stepped towards her "I'm sorry, I mean I- I didn't know you'd be out here. I didn't wanna see you right now- not like this."

Emma just looked at him taking in his face, his eyes, his…lips. She just looked at his hair, longer, than the last time she'd seen it. Was he really standing in front of her? Was she dreaming? Instead of figuring it out she decided to just take the opportunity to speak to him. Real Sean or dream Sean it didn't matter.

"It-it doesn't matter Sean. What are you-" Emma stopped noticing how rude that would sound, "How are you doing?" she said, gasping as she contained herself from crying more. The happiness and sadness that tangled together at the sight of seeing Sean-Dream Sean or Real Sean-overwhelmed her and she just poured out the words that came; second to what she really wanted to say. Sean looked down at his shoes, kicking at the grass, obviously embarrassed, and inwardly fighting the urge to embrace her, "I've-I've been good." He said, "You?" Emma paused here; she wanted so badly to tell him the truth, she wanted so badly to disclose how'd she'd really been, the fact that she'd been desperate and crying and alone.

But remembering that when Sean left, she hadn't even been his girlfriend, and then the way he left and becoming flooded once again with those desperate and angry feelings, she answered simply and coldly "O.k. I guess,"

Sean kept his head toward the ground, but moved his eyes up to look at her shyly, the way he always did when he was trying to figure out how to say something. Emma would've recognized this look if she hadn't been to busy growing increasingly angry at his presence. "I-I was going to-I was going to wait till tomorrow to talk to you, but since we're both here…I guess I can say something now." He said, amazed at the way his heart still raced at the sight of her.

Emma's word cut him like a knife, "We have nothing to talk about, Sean." She said, and turned walking towards her window. Sean frowned; he'd expected her to be cold, but not this cold "Emma!" He said rushing toward her and then jumping in front of her, "Look, I know that I left like…that. And I know that it's been hard for you, but it's been hard for me too." Emma was too angry to notice that his voice was faltering a little as he spoke. Emma's teeth clenched and her tears came suddenly, "No, Sean! You don't! You don't know shit about what it's been like for me, so let's not pretend that you do!" Sean was startled by Emma's force, but he went on, controlling his own tears from gushing, "I'm sorry Emma. I'm sorry. Emma, I just-I had to see you. I had to talk to you and you know I'm not so good at talk-"

"How long have you been here, Sean?" Emma asked suddenly. Sean was a little surprised by her question "I, uh, I just got-" "Have you seen Ellie yet?" "No, I-I haven't. I-" "Well, Sean, last time I checked, she was your girlfriend. So maybe you should be at her house stuttering in her ear as opposed to mine, at 3 in the freaking morning!" Emma finished and then stomped past Sean and slid into her window, full of emotions.

She was angry at herself for losing it; angry at him for showing up at this moment; Glad that she was able to find an easy excuse not to talk to him when she so desperately wanted to. She felt so vulnerable and weak and knew that if she'd spoken she'd have told him everything; everything. The very thought of that made her collapse into tears again, as she stuffed her face into her pillow, residing quietly on the floor.

Sean was left outside to stare after Emma. Tears already forcing there way to his eyes, "No!" he protested to himself as he yanked his hoodie over his head and stomped down the street. "Not now, not over this!" He slid into his car and sped down the street wondering where he was headed but determined to get as far away from Emma's as possible…for now.

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