Chapter 6
A Mess of Emotions
The morning greeted Emma like a rock dropping right onto her head. She opened her eyes and at the same time she closed them, hoping that the daylight was just her imagination. She wasn't sure what was wrong but she felt strange; she'd never had one but she figured this must be what it was like to have a hangover.
"Ugghhh," she said sitting up, her head throbbing suddenly. Something strange was going on…wasn't it? She tried hard to remember the previous night. It was-she'd been crying. Uncontrollably. Maybe she'd had a nervous breakdown. "Sean!" She remembered suddenly She remembered seeing him, speaking to him, but not what she'd said. She sighed softly, "I must've had a dream about him," And then she laid down pulling the covers over her head, saddened by the thought of a Sean dream that she couldn't even remember.
She'd wondered why she hadn't awakened, screaming as usual. And why she'd slept until morning. Must've been a soothing dream, she thought, and smiled thinking that maybe the nightmares were finally going to stop.
"You must be psychic, Em." Manny said, walking over to Emma's bed with a glass of water and an Aleve pill. Emma smiled at the first sight of her friend, whom she assumed must've spent the night with Craig and come in superlate/early as usual.
Emma took the Aleve Manny gave her saying, "No, you must be psychic, Manny. How did you know my head was hurting?" Emma gulped down the Aleve and the water," Manny tilted her head and looked at her friend with an amused expression, "When I got in, about 30 min ago, you were lying on the floor sleep. I helped you up and into bed and you said your head hurt, but you wouldn't take this then. So, I figured you'd want it now."
Emma nodded as she drunk the water. "Oh thanks." "No prob Em." Manny said as she walked over to her side of the room to get dressed. She pulled back the curtain that surrounded her bed as a semi-room divider/dressing room. As she got dressed she called "Oh! What I meant about you being psychic was that, you said you had a dream about him, and there's a rumor going around Degrassi that Sean Cameron is back in town." Emma started at the words "Sean! Back! Rumor! Manny, what are you talking about?" Emma said stomping out of her bed and rushing over to Manny, pulling back her curtain. "Emma!" "Sorry, Manny?" Emma said closing the curtain on her topless friend, "But um, what are you talking about? When did you hear that?" "Yesterday, in-ugh- school." Manny replied, inbetween strained gasps as she struggled into her jeans. "A bunch of kids were talking about "that hero kid" and saying they heard "he was back".
The slow realization that it hadn't been a dream came as Emma backed up and fell onto her bed. "Oh my God!" She said her "It wasn't a dream!" Now it was Manny's turn to rip back the curtain. "You mean you actually saw Sean!" She said, apparently, Emma noted, more excited than she was at the notion that Sean had returned.
As far as Manny was concerned, she felt that Sean would save she and Craig's relationship. No more Ellie to interfere; she'd be to busy with her own boyfriend to try and hang out with Manny's.
Emma nodded, stunned at the sudden recollection of what had happened. "I-I think so. I think he came here last night." "Really?" Manny said, walking over and sitting next to Emma. "What'd he say?" "I don't really know. I think we got into some kind of an argument." Manny sighed, then her melancholy look brightened a little, as she said thoughtfully, "If he came here last night, maybe he'd already gone to Ellie's!"
Emma glared at her friend. Sometimes, Emma thought, it seems like Craig and Manny were made for each other; they can both be so oblivious. But, instead of commenting on Manny's assumption, Emma walked toward the bathroom to get washed up. What the Hell was Sean doing here last night? She thought, puzzled at the previous nights events. Convincing herself that it was a dream that morning had allowed her to forget his actual presence and the way she'd felt seeing him.
Now she remembered, how'd she'd been, where she'd been when Sean had seen her and that same feeling of helplessness engulfed her once again. "God, Sean!" She said to herself as she slipped her nightshirt from over her head, "What kind of mess are you going to make of me this time?"
Scene Change: Degrassi High (at the school vending machine)
Peter walked up to the vending machine determined to get some chips before school. He hadn't eaten the previous night-worrying about his relationship with Emma-and he was now too hungry to even think about class. The guy standing in front of him was just staring at the glass as though he had no intention of buying anything and Peter was getting impatient.
After about 2 more minutes of this Peter said irately, "Are you going to buy something?" The guy gave no answer, just kept staring at the glass. Peter nudged his shoulder "I said: are you going to buy something or not?" The boy turned around and stared at Peter; Peter stared back his eyes full of challenging contempt. Peter was, in actuality, nervous-and a little sad-thinking about what Emma's reaction to what he had to say to her would be. This guy just happened to be the first target he'd had all morning to release some of his aggression on and he wasn't about to miss the opportunity.
Sean was the guy. Peter had interrupted his thought pattern and now, Sean stared at him, more angry at himself for staring dumbly at the machine than at Peter, for interrupting him.
Sean had been thinking about Emma the previous night. How different she'd seemed, how...sad. On his way to go and speak to the principal, about possibly reentering Degrassi, he stopped at the vending machine, after catching a glimpse of his reflection as he was rushing by. He'd been studying his reflection intently and trying to figure out an emotion to describe himself with.
This was a practice Sean had taken up since the shooting to try and make sure that he never lost control of his emotions again. It helped him contain emotions easier if he could recognize and acknowledge them the moment they were felt. He never delved too deep into it, being Sean, but he still knew that a few seconds of "figuring myself out" as he called it, was much easier than the entire year he'd spent trying to find himself when all along he'd left the only part of him that he could ever claim with pride here in Toronto; in Degrassi.
Love, self-hatred, disgust, and hopelessness all seemed to be engulfing him at once, when he felt a slight push at his shoulder, snapping him back to reality.
Sean's anger rose and fell at the same time; he knew hitting this kid would prove nothing, but he still felt the overwhelming need to lash out against something, someone.
Sean suppressed his urge and instead glared at Peter, eyes full of misplaced disgust, "Look, kid," "Peter!" "I don't care," Sean snapped, his voice and face full of annoyed arrogance, "Look- just- just move!" He said, pushing past Peter after deciding that he wasn't worth the time. "Oh and kid!" Sean huffed, turning sharply toward Peter again, "Don't ever touch me."
"Yeah, whatever!" Peter remarked smartly, just having to say something, as Sean quickly stomped away.
It had occurred to Peter that this guy looked kind of familiar, but he couldn't quite place him. Having seen pictures of Emma's ex-who'd become somewhat of a legend since saving Emma at the school's shooting-he had a pretty good idea of what Sean Cameron looked like. But, ironically, it was Sean's trademark black bandana and hoodie pulled protectively over his eyes-added to the fact that Peter didn't really get a good look at him, as he'd muscled his way past him-, that had made it hard for Peter to recognize him.
Peter ultimately decided that Sean was just some new kid, trying to prove how tough he was on the first day. Still, Peter couldn't help but to be annoyed and muttered, "Dumb, jackass!" as he slid his dollar bill into the machine.
Scene Change: (Inside of Snake-Mr. Simpson's-classroom)
"Emma Nelson!" Snake said forcefully, as he gently touched his daughters shoulder. "Yes!" Emma said, jerking her head toward him. Emma hadn't been asleep but, she had been in a state of dazed confusion for most of the day. "Emma, this is the 4rth time I've had to call you this morning. Are you okay?" As he said this, Snake placed his hand onto her cool forehead. Emma shook him off "I'm ok Da-I mean, Mr. Simpson." Emma said with a reassuring smile.
Emma stood up, looking a little out of sorts, but not as bad as she actually felt, "Um, can I take a washroom break, though?" "Of course," Snake said, as he stepped aside with a look of growing concern on his face. Emma rolled her eyes as she walked into the hallway, tired of Snake's constant worry. She breathed a welcome breath of the air as she stepped into the hallway and made her way towards the girls washroom.
As she entered, Emma sighed a small breath of relief realizing that she was in the washroom alone. She had no desire to be bothered by any of Degrassi's girls right about now.
Sean showing up only added a whole different kind of troubling element onto her already depressing existence. She loved Sean so much that just the thought of him standing in her presence the previous night had been enough to reduce her to a state of shaken and indescribable emotion, and she hadn't been able to think clearly the entire day.
But, now that Emma was alone, her paranoia hit her like a gush of freezing water, stinging her face and flooding her mind with thoughts that had, until now, been scrambled and of little real affect.
What's Sean going to do? Where is he staying? Is he in love with Ellie? Are we ever going to be able to talk about what happened? What do I say to him? What can I say to him? How is he dealing?
And then, for the first time, a disturbing thought passed through Emma's mind. Jay! What is Sean going to think when he finds out about what happened with Jay! How would Sean feel when he found out about who she'd become?
The thought of Sean discovering her pain; weakness; the insecurity and desperation that his leaving and the shooting had reduced her to, scared Emma. She was so ashamed of herself, of what Sean would think of her, that her legs trembled as a few unforgiving tears slid down her cheeks and she suddenly felt faint. Remembering where she was, and that she had to get back to class, Emma turned on the water splashing her face violently, as though it would somehow wake her from the dream-nightmare really-that she was suddenly feeling her life had become. Shake it off, Emma! Shake it off! She thought, forcing the unwelcome thoughts, and tears, back into herself.
Glancing in the mirror at her now paste like makeup, her wet blonde hair sticking to her forehead, Emma managed a small smile. I look like welcome to Goth Chick 101...
It suited that Ellie Nash walked into the washroom door at this moment-having for a while, been labeled Degrassi's token" Goth chick-and Emma thought as much as Ellie walked in. For a moment they just stared at one another; Ellie, taken aback at Emma's sick, almost ghostly appearance; Emma, trying to figure out what to say to Ellie.
Emma let out an embarrassed laugh "I-I got kinda' sick." she said turning quickly away from Ellie to finish washing the pasty make-up from her face. "Rigggghhhhtttt." Ellie said, nodding her head in an unconvinced manner, as she walked into one of the stalls. It wasn't like Ellie to assume things, but she was smart enough to know that there was something else going on with the notoriously troubled Emma Nelson.
Ellie and Emma had never had much of a relationship. It was very common for the two of them to be in the same place, same time, same aisle of the grocery store, and never even acknowledge one another. However, ever since Ellie had dated Sean, she and Emma's relationship had become almost hostile. At first, it had been because of Ellie's apparent disgust at her boyfriends' ex-and Emma's apparent disgust at Sean's choice for a girlfriend. But later, the hostility intensified with Ellie's own growing resentment-beginning after the three of them traveled to Wasaga Beach- about the parts of Sean that she realized Emma had been able to touch, feel; when, no matter how hard she'd tried, Ellie had never been able to even reach them.
Emma was semi-oblivious to this new hostility and so, being herself, she felt an obligation to say something to Ellie about Sean. After, Ellie had exited the stall and Emma had finished reapplying her makeup, she took a breath and turned to Ellie saying, "So...how've you been?" Ellie raised her eyebrow slightly and after studying Emma's face for intention she shrugged, replying "The same as always, I guess." Thinking this would satisfy Emma. As Ellie washed her hands, she shook her head thinking, Weird… "Well," Ellie said nodding at Emma as she turned towards the door to leave, "See ya," "Ellie, wait," Emma said, not knowing what to say, but reacting to her need to tell Ellie what had happened the previous night.
She decided against telling her what had happened and said instead, as she pulled on and looked down at her fingers nervously, "Um, have you heard anything…about Sean?" Now, Ellie turned her full attention toward Emma, her eyes dancing dizzily around the room as she tried to hide her own anxiety at the sound of his name. "Yeah," she said walking slowly back towards Emma. "I heard...some things. How about you?"
Emma struggled with whether or not to tell Ellie the truth. She knew that by now Ellie and Sean had broken up and she even knew-as everyone else knew-that Ellie liked Craig, but she still couldn't help but think that it would hurt Ellie to know that Sean had come to see her first. "Yeah, um, some kids said they saw him. They-they said he's back." Ellie nodded, not exactly sure what to say to this, the same way she'd been unsure when Craig had mentioned Sean to her. She wondered if anyone still thought she loved, or even liked, Sean. People always seemed to think that he would have some kind of "unfinished business" with her. But, as far as Ellie was concerned, any business she and Sean had, had long ago been wrecked, murdered, buried and gone straight to hell. "Well, I just, I just thought I should tell you." Emma said trembling a little herself. "Well…Thanks." Ellie said smiling weakly as she turned and exited the washroom.
Emma trailed out behind Ellie and both were greeted with a distraught looking Craig, "Em-Emma!" Craig stammered rushing toward her at such a rate, that she backed up into the wall. "What Craig!" She said, startled at the look of worry in the face of one of her old friends, and thinking immediately that something was wrong with, Manny!… "What is it!" "It's Manny," Craig said sounding despondent "Oh my God, Craig! what happened to her?" Emma gasped, "Happened? To Manny? Nothing I haven't seen her that's all. Have you? Seen her, I mean?" Emma almost punched Craig in the shoulder for scaring her. "No, Craig" she said her heartbeat regulating again, "She's skipping today." Then remembering Ellie, Emma turned towards her not sure what to or not to say to her.
Ellie simply smiled, said "Hey Craig." and began to make her way down the hall. "Hey, Ellie!" Craig said racing toward her. Craig grabbed her shoulders and pushed Ellie carefully, but firmly to the wall "You've gotta help me!" He said, breathing heavily into her face. Ellie was noticeably annoyed at Craig's beckoning and pushed his hands off of her arms "Craig," she said, pushing him back slightly and pushing herself up off of the wall, "The only thing I've "got" to do, is go to class." "No, Ellie seriously you've got to help me!" "Sorry, Craig," Ellie said backing away from Craig and down the hall, "Talk to me after school." "Manny thinks we're-like-together!" Craig shouted, stopping Ellie cold in her tracks. Ellie's pulse quickened and she turned toward Craig eyes blazing "What!" She said, walking towards him slowly. "I know! I said Manny thinks-me and you-that we're you know-together!" "No, Craig," Ellie said, nodding a little impatiently, "I heard that. I meant why would she think that?" "Oh! It was cuz of the-those pictures! The ones we took yesterday!" Ellie calmed herself a little and she looked at Craig puzzled "She thinks we like each other because we took pictures together!" Ellie said.
In her mind she was thinking that this was the moment she'd been dreading; the moment when Craig would choose…But instead, it was proving to become another idiotic attempt by Craig to understand the female race. Ellie figured that Manny's outbursts was just another result of her increasing paranoia that Craig was going to leave her.
"Craig," Ellie said, annoyed at her friends interruption and his misdirected insanity-and of course at the fact that he was asking her about Manny- "I'm sure that Manny is going to call you-" "El, she's not," Craig said looking her in the eyes pleadingly, "Please, I need you to come with me, so you can tell her to her face that no-thing is going on." Ellie's heart beat a little rapidly and the disappointment in her situation deepened. But, looking into Craig's pleading eyes proved too much for her and she sighed heavily nodding slowly and commencing to go with him. She was too upset now to go back to class anyway.
Emma watched Ellie and Craig walk down the hall and her heart went out to Ellie for the whole ordeal.
Suddenly, remembering that she was supposed to be in class, that Snake would worry-and wanting to get quickly out of this memory-filled hallway-Emma rushed towards her classroom. "Emma!" she heard someone calling behind her and she stopped abruptly trying to recall the voice. "Emma," the boy said as he walked a few steps toward her. It's Peter, she remembered, her thoughts having been so swamped all day, that she'd forgotten the sound of her own boyfriend's voice.
Emma turned towards him with a slight smile and then remembering their last encounter, the smile vanished and her face grew worried at the very sight of him. "What Peter?" Peter looked a little taken aback by her tone, but not too surprised. "I think we should talk," he said sliding her wet, blonde hair off of her pale forehead. Emma stepped back a little and sighed deeply, working up the courage to say each word "I-I think so too. I mean there's something I need to say." Peter raised his eyebrow at her "Oh?" he said curiously, "Yeah," Emma said, focusing in on everything but his eyes.
"I-I-well, Peter there's just a whole lot going on right now and I don't think we..." "You wanna break up?" Peter said, his voice shaky. Emma stared into his eyes now. This was harder than she'd thought it would be "Yeah..." she said slowly and then shook her head quickly. "I-I mean no! Not-not break up. I just, I think we should…take a break." Peter stood there looking at Emma for a moment. Then his face grew red with anger "A break?" he said angrily "A break from what Emma? Huh? A break from you calling me in tears and not even having the decency to tell me what your crying about, huh? A break from me wanting a girlfriend and never even having one, because she's too damn busy inventing issues-like anorexia-that don't even exist! Huh? Is that what you want a break from Emma because it seems to me that I'd be the only one to get any benefit from a freaking "break"!" Emma's confidence in what she had to say was slowly melting away as Peter spoke. "Peter...peter please-" she said trying to place her hand on Peter's shoulder. Peter slapped her hand away and then said his eyes seeming to sear into her skull "Or do you just want a break from pretending that you're not a slut?" The words hit Emma like a slap in the face "Peter," she said her eyes burning, "Peter what are you talking ab-" "Emma, you're so pathetic! You're dumping me for another freaking guy. And you don't even have the guts to say it." Emma stared at Peter confused at first and then she said firmly "Peter? I do NOT like Jay!" Peter laughed tauntingly "That's not who I'm talking about!" he said sharply "Then wha-?" "Sean Cameron, Emma. Name ring any bells?"
Emma stood paralyzed "Peter, what are you talking about?" she said calmly as though she had no idea. "Oh my God! Don't give me this innocence crap! You idolize the guy! You have since whenever it was that he left and now you're dumping me because you heard, just like I heard, that he's coming back!" Emma's voice was low and restrained as she said calmly, "Peter, Sean Cameron is a distant memory and if you thi-" Peter broke her off "Emma? Look, I've been there through all the crap problems that you've dealt with. Anorexia, the hysteria, and the nervous breakdowns. And now you're going to act like I'm the one who's delusional? Tell me something I don't know Emma and maybe then I'll get you. I mean, can you really look me in my eyes and tell me that you haven't heard that Mr…"Blast from the Past hero" is coming back and that, that's not the reason you're breaking up with me?" Emma couldn't look Peter in the eyes and Peter blinked at her nonresponse with a sudden realization. "He's here." He said in low pained voice. "He's he's already back-You've seen him haven't you?" Emma couldn't answer. "Oh my God-now it all makes sense! The guy at the vending machine-the way you've been acting. I knew it! I freaking knew it!" "Peter, just li-"Emma said, making one last attempt at reconciling with Peter before he stopped her abruptly. "Don't bother, Emma." He said as he backed away his eyes filled with hateful tears. "Don't even bother." And he turned and walked away leaving Emma standing in the hallway, tears filling her already reddened eyes, memories of her relationship with Peter suddenly swamping her, drowning her, making her wonder What the heck just happened!
Scene Change: (Right outside of Degrassi High)
Sean Cameron leaned against his car, his head tilted toward the sky, waiting for Emma-or Ellie-whichever one came first he'd decided, his face burning in the sun.
As he leaned back against his car, hands in his pockets, eyes closed, his hoodie pulled comfortably and-boilingly-over his head, Sean looked and felt right back at home at Degrassi and smiled to himself at the thought that-if all went well-he'd be attending school here in a few short days.
"Sean!" he heard and was shaken from his thoughts, as he stood erect, eyes opening slowly, jaw sticking out defensively, ready for anyone; anything. It was Craig Manning. He and Craig had been friends a long time ago, not so much anymore. But, Sean had, much to he and Craig's surprise, run into Craig when on his way here and the two of them had semi-reconnected talking about their plans and how their lives had been going since leaving Degrassi. And so, Sean managed a startled smile, greeting Craig warmly saying "Craig! What's going on, Man?" "Nothin' Nothing! Craig said smiling a little goofily. "Well, um, what are you doing here?" Sean asked inquisitively noting Craig's car and the way he was acting as thought he was waiting for someone. "Oh," Craig said growing suddenly uneasy "I'm just…" and Craig's face went from excitement to uneasiness as he glanced up at the stairs. Sean followed Craig's glance and ended up locking eyes with the darkly dressed redhead, who stared down at him from the top stair.
Ellie had been mulling over the situation with Manny and Craig and trying to think of anyway she could out of it. It wasn't enough that she was going to ride in the car, hopelessly loving Craig, but to think that she would actually be going to help him save his relationship with another girl? And Manny Santos at that? It was enough to make her want to…and she'd glanced longingly at her arms, tears pushing at her eyelids as she thought of what she might do when she got home. She'd been lagging behind Craig and as he'd bounded down the steps she'd been walking slowly, rubbing her arm harder and harder until she'd reached the stair and been greeted with the sight that she would have much rather been bogged down with at some other-any other-time.
Sean Cameron, Ellie thought with a wry smile as she advanced easily down the steps. She was getting an evil kind of pleasure from the weary look on Sean's face and deviously decided to make him suffer-just a little-by remaining expressionless. Of all things, Ellie knew that Sean handled unchaotic behavior the worst and just knowing that it was torturing him as she walked slowly toward him-no frowns, no smiles, no nothing-she grew a little happier than she'd been moments before.
Sean waited…and waited…and waited for Ellie to say or do something-anything. But she did nothing. She didn't shun him, she didn't slap him, she didn't curse him out asking how dare he show up like this, she just stared at him as though there were no words to express the emotion she felt and it ate Sean up inside. Craig stared at Ellie staring at Sean and for what seemed like hours, to Sean at least,-though it was only a few seconds-none of them spoke. Finally Sean could take no more and he said after rubbing the back of his head nervously. "How-how you been El?" Ellie stared at him, still void of expression and just nodded.
As much as Ellie thought she was torturing Sean, she was really allowing him time to realize something. Ellie and Craig were about to leave together. Are they…? He thought and verbalized his thought with a gesture towards the both of them "You 2 are…?" he said, his voice allowing all of the surprise that he felt. This garnered the first emotion out of Ellie as she blushed red and stammered "No! No! um, we're not going…out. We're just-"and then Craig broke into her statement saying "No! Sean, I'm dating Manny! We're just-um-we're going to fi-…she's ditching!" Craig finally finished with a laugh, pointing incriminatingly at Ellie. Ellie looked at Craig her mouth opening in shock "He asked me to!" she said, hitting him on the shoulder and giggling herself.
Sean laughed to himself at this. Relieved to have gotten Ellie to…show signs of life and even more relieved to see that she'd found someone else she liked, although he wasn't sure how it was supposed to work with Craig dating Manny. Sean still knew that this would ultimately help him out when it came time for him to try to explain himself to Ellie about the way things had turned out.
But, as Ellie and Craig walked away from him waving, he knew this wasn't the time, and his smile vanished as he leaned back remembering that he still had yet another-much harder-encounter to deal with.
Scene Change: (Inside of Craig's car)
"El, are you ok?" Craig asked his friend as they slid into his car. The look of concern on his face deepened as she took a moment to answer. "El?" he asked leaning towards her a little as she turned towards him seeming to be a little breathless "I said are you ok?" Ellie smiled reassuringly and nodded at her friend, relieved when he smiled also and pulled his face away from her. "Sean Cameron is a the least of my problems Craig." She said lightly as she turned to buckle her seatbelt. The very least, she thought, as she sighed inwardly touching her arm. But, as Ellie stared out her window at Sean, leaning back against his car, same guy, same easy look on his face, same comfortable existence, she couldn't help but think sadly, Things were never this complicated with Sean.
Scene Change: (The sidewalk leading to Degrassi High)
Manny Santos stepped slowly down the sidewalk, part of her fearing that she would pop-from all the ice cream she'd eaten, while watching a heart wrenching romantic movie earlier-part of her relieved that she'd decided to go to school after missing only one period. After a long and trying emotional night-half of which she'd spent crying on the bus, half of which she'd spent sitting longingly in the moonlight trying to figure out why Emma seemed to think it so therapeutic-she'd decided to stay home, mourning the loss of Craig, and pitying herself for thinking Ellie harmless. However, after eating about a 1/2 of a half-gallon of rocky-road ice cream and crying her eyes out, she'd decided that it would probably be more beneficial to her self, mental health, and-not to mention, her figure-if she just went to ahead to school.
As she'd walked out into the welcoming sunlight everything seemed to fall effortlessly into place and Manny had begun to happily realize that, despite all of her drama, she probably was over-reacting; It was just a picture; Ellie wasn't that kind of girl, she'd convinced herself, and Craig wouldn't do that to her, not after all the two of them had been through.
And so by the time it was time for Manny to turn the last corner toward Degrassi she stopped, flipping out her cell phone and carefully dialing Craig's number-speed dial 1-determined to apologize to him. "Hello!" Craig yelled into her ear his voice full of uncontained anxiety. "Craig…it's Manny." "Yeah, I know," Craig said his voice seeming to brighten a little, and Manny smiled just thinking of seeing Craig that afternoon, picking her up with that big smile on his face that she loved. "Craig…" she said pausing more out of excitement than nerves now, as she walked a little more energetically up the sidewalk to Degrassi, "I was calling to-" she said and then stopped short backing up in horror at what she saw ahead of her.
There parked by the opposite sidewalk was Craig. He had his phone in his hand the mouthpiece covered…smiling happily. And who was sitting next to him smiling along with him? …Ellie Nash! Manny couldn't believe her eyes and she backed up onto the sidewalk so that they wouldn't see her. Oh my god, she thought, gasping as she inched back down the walk towards her house, I was knew it! "Manny?" Craig said nervously, but happily, "Are you still there?" "Yeah, Craig," Manny said tearfully, "Manny? What's wrong?" Craig asked anxiously, worried at the sudden change in Manny's tone. "You Craig! You're what's wrong, and we're over!" and before Craig could say anything else Manny slammed the phone shut in his ear, leaving he and Ellie to wonder at what had just happened.
Scene change: Degrassi (School letting out)
Emma walked through the doors of Degrassi and bounded down the steps, determined to take a major "me moment" as she walked home. For once, Emma was relieved to be Mannyless, Peterless, Parentless, and as she made her way towards the sidewalk to head home she was resolved to try and work out her emotions; about Sean, about Rick, about Peter, about her life. She'd spent most of the day fighting back tears and had finally decided that enough was enough.
"I'm not gonna let all this rule me for the rest of my natural life!" she said to herself as she marched down the sidewalk. "I doubt anything could." She heard behind her and turned around to see a sun-burnt and sleepy looking Sean Cameron. "Sean? What are you doing here?" Emma studdered having been determined and prepared for everything...but this. "I, uh, I was waiting for you earlier but I got bored and fell asleep." He said matter-of-factly as he walked towards her carefully, as though afraid she would pounce on him. Emma didn't have time for this right now, not another stream of emotional complicatedness. "Sean, look, I have to go." She said turning and trying to rush down the sidewalk. "Emma!" Sean said, racing towards her and jumping in front of her; similar to the previous night but this time, Sean grabbed her arm, causing both of them a slight jolt of…something, as they touched for the first time in over a year.
Emma looked in his eyes, felt safe, secure, could feel herself slipping into…whatever it was that Sean did to her…but she snapped out of it snatching away from him. "Don't touch me Sean!" She sneered at him, and he backed away a little saying, "Take it easy, Em, I just want to talk." "Sean, I told you before I have nothing to say to you." Emma said, trying to march past him, "Emma! Stop it! We both know that's not true!" "Sean, have you spoken to Ellie yet?" Emma said quickly, remembering her defense mechanism from their last encounter and using it as her shield against him, "Emma! Ellie has nothing to do with this!" Sean said growing increasingly angry at Emma's obvious attempts to avoid talking to him "Yes, she does, Sean!" "Why, Emma!" Sean said getting angrier at every word Emma spoke, "Because, she was your girlfriend, Sean! Remember? Me and you? We were ancient history before you even left!"
Sean's ears burned as Emma spat the truth into them. "Well," he said between clenched teeth, as he stared angrily into her defiant brown eyes, "You said that our past was ancient history too, remember? I apologized for everything, God, Emma! I thought we were okay!" Emma stared at Sean angrily. The memory of the past year flying through her mind, tearing at her heart as she spoke, "Sean, we were ok…then. A lot of stuff can happen in a year, Sean. And a lot did happen...to me." As Emma spoke the thoughts of all that happened began to blaze through her mind and she had to back away from Sean as though fearing that he'd suddenly be able to read her mind and find out…everything. "Emma, look I'm-I'm sor-" Sean began, his eyes filling with tears. "No, Sean," Emma said, blinking the tears forcefully away from her own eyes, "You don't have to apologize. You don't-" Emma smiled, awkwardly as she finished, "You don't even know me anymore, Sean." and then looking him up and down she said coldly. "And I don't want to know you." As Emma said this, she turned away from Sean, who finally let her walk away, staying where he was and glaring angrily toward the surrounding street.
One thing stuck with Sean. The way Emma had said, "a lot did happen to me" and he found himself thinking as he walked quickly back towards his car, What the Hell happened to her? By the time he'd made his way back to his car, Sean had resolved to do 2 things; 1. Talk to Ellie, this way the next time he met with Emma she couldn't use this as a thinly veiled excuse not to talk to him. And 2. Find out just exactly what had happened to Emma, already blaming himself for whatever it was.