Joey: Alright its time… TO FINISH THIS! I am back! And to those of you readers who leave reviews pointing out that I took lines from LoZ Flash movies… I took 3 whole lines whoop Dee fuckin doo, and I plan on re-writing chapter 8… I think that's the one… so stop wining. It's not like I took the whole flash movie and put it in my story. Ok I'm done ranting…
Mike: We ready to finish this damn story?
Joey: Yes… Lets Rock! Onto the Story!
Mike: we do not own Zelda, Metroid or anything else that's in here that doesn't belong to us! DON'T SUE!
Chapter 20: The Final Battle and more pissing about.
Link: Alright, do we need anything before we go into the door?
Joey: Nope
Nick: Nope
Fangz: Umm where's the Bathroom?
Joey: Umm it's down there (points down a hallway)
Fangz: Thanks (runs down the hallway)
(A half and hour later)
Nick: My god what's taking her soooo long!
Joey: I dunno… hey Nick.
Nick: What?
Joey: Are the speakers hooked up in the bathroom?
Nick: Ehe, I think so.
Joey: (laughs and holds a microphone up) I've always wanted to try this… Hey… Fangz… In the bathroom, yes you… Get… The Fuck… Out… I'll bet it's kind of hard to go with all this pressure on you isn't it!
Justin: I'd think that pressure would make it easier to go…
Nick: Not that kind of pressure Jackass…
Joey: HURRY UP DAMN IT!
Nick: (yells into the Microphone) I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN THERE AND IT'S A SIN!
(a loud thud is heard and suddenly fangz jump/tackles nick)
Nick: AHHHH
Fangz: (beats the shit out of nick)
Justin: I DIDN'T HEAR ANY HANDWASHING GOING ON IN THERE!
Nick: (stands up) EWWWW
Fangz: (Evil Grin)
Nick: (now has a black eye)
Joey: (laughs a little) What's with the black eye?
Nick: Is that some kind of comment!
Joey: (sighs) No nick.
Nick: Well I know what I can do so that this won't happen again. (Waves his hand in the air and a holographic Keyboard appears and he types in a bunch of stuff)
Joey: Nick… have you been playing with the Syntax again?
Nick: Ehe the Syn-what?
Joey: The Syntax!
Nick: the What-tax?
Joey: SYNTAX!
Nick: The What-What?
Joey: Syntax JACKASS!
Nick: Ohhh, noooo
(A female voice says God Mode Enabled)
Nick: Ehehe, yes….
Joey: Not again…
Fangz: Again? What happened the last time he played with the syntax?
Justin: (runs by in a pink tutu) HEEELP MEEE!
Nick: (Looks at Fangz)
Fangz: Don't even think about it…
Nick: (laughs)
Fangz: (is now in a pink tutu) You son of a bitch…
Nick: HOLY SHIT! FANGZ IS A GIRL!
Fangz: I will kill you…
Joey: Well your god mode does not matter! I am the Author! I am higher than God! (gets Smitten by the real god) Ow… (his suit lets out a bright flash and it falls to pieces on the floor) Holy Shnikies! That took out all my suits energy in one hit!
Nick: Ehehe God smoked you!
Fangz: HES NOT WEARING HIS SUIT! GET HIM!
Joey: Awwww crap! (runs)
Fangz: (Chases Joey off screen, then screams)
Joey: (Chases her wearing the Master Chief suit)
Justin: (running behind Joey) THAT WAS MINE!
Nick: I feel so left out… I need something cool… I know! (snaps and he is not rideing a giant Wiener Dog) Weeeee
Fangz: (Stops in front of nick and his wiener dog) what the hell?
Nick: Would you like to pet my Wiener?
Fangz: Uhhh no… (walks away)
Nick: ASK ME ABOUT MY WIENER!
Fangz: (Comes back) why haven't we gone into Gannondorf's chamber yet?
Nick: Because the author of this story is ADD…
Joey: (Comes back) Okay… Now I need to fix my suit…
Link: Stop stalling for time and hurry up already…
Joey: Fine! (Picks up his suit and walks off)
Nick: Wow… that was a Huge time filler…
Joey: (Comes back wearing Dark Samus suit) Mwuahaha new stuff
Fangz: That's kind of scary look-in…
Joey: Alright let's go in!
Navi: This is the first time I've spoken!
Link: It's the last time too (eats Navi) let's head in shall we?
(They FINALLY enter Gannondorfs room)
Gannondorf: (playing the Organ)
Link: (steps forward) Gannondorf prepare to die!
Gannondorf: (gets up from the Organ and turns around, and is wearing the Phantom of the Opera mask)
Link: Oh god, you could at least take off the mask!
Gannondorf: (throws the mask off)
Link: What have you done with the Princess!
Gannondorf: Ehehehe, What HAVENT I done with the princess!
Fangz: (Gasps)
Link: YOU DIDN'T!
Joey: YOU LUCKY BASTERD!
(Evryone stares at Joey)
Mike: (Sighs) Humans…
Joey: Umm I mean YOU FIEND!
(A/N that was the part for you people that wont shut up about the flash movie)
Gannondorf: It doesn't matter, these toys are too much for you! (Raises his triforce piece and takes Links Triforce)
Joey: Toys?
Nick: Ehehehe
Link: (draws the Master Sword)
Gannondorf: (Stands there and chuckles)
Link: (Charges at Gannondorf and slashes him with the master sword)
Gannondorf: (laughs as the sword glances off his armor) You cannot harm me!
Link: Damn…
Joey: we may not be able to harm you physically! But we can sure ram your self esteem straight into the ground!
Gannondorf: What?
Nick: LOOK AT HIS BIG NOSE!
Gannondorf: Its not that big…
Nick: Ehehe my wiener was huge in Japan!
Fangz: So is his nose! Even in Texas that nose is Huge!
Gannondorf: That's not nice!
Joey: And why is your skin Green!
Gannondorf: (Starts to cry a little) It's a condition!
Nick: LOOK AT HIS BIG GREEN NOSE!
Gannondorf: (Kneels to the ground and crys)
Joey: Link! Now!
Link: (Slashes gannondorf several times)
Gannondorf: (spits out blood and falls to the floor as the walls and ceiling dissolve)
Link: Whoa… that's kinda cool…
Zelda: (lands on the floor)
Link: Zelda!
Zelda: Link! Do you know how long I was stuck there with him! And what he did to me!
Link: Sorry for the lack of caring at the moment.
Zelda: You prick…
(the tower starts shaking)
Link: What the hell?
Zelda: Gannondorf! With his last breath hes trying to bring down the tower around us!
Joey: We are on top of the tower, how will it come down around us!
Zelda: Shut up! We have to get out of here!
(Everyone runs down the ramp and Zelda Unlocks the door and they go inside)
Joey: NOW the tower can fall down around us!
Zelda: (Unlocks the door) Lets go!
(They go in and Zelda gets trapped in a ring of fire)
Joey: (shoots the two stalfos as soon as the jump in)
(the fire disappears and they run through the next door)
Link: (gets hit with one of the falling rocks) OWW
Zelda: (Whines then covers her face)
Joey: Oh god (picks up Zelda) LETS GO
Nick: Wow this is one long last breath! (looking down at the ground avoiding the shadows as he walks)
(they make it to the final door which is locked)
Joey: (sets down Zelda) Unlock the door!
Zelda: (starts to cast the spell then is hit with a falling rock and falls to the floor unconscious)
Nick: (holding Link over his head using him as a shield)
Fangz: What are we going to do?
Nick: Stand back! Ill use my Blackness! (Steps back then kicks down the steel door)
Joey: You just kicked down a steel door!
Nick: Yea isn't it great?
(They make it out of the tower just as it collapses)
Joey: Wow, if it weren't for nick we would have never made it.
Nick: Well, Zelda Link and Fangz wouldn't have made it
Joey: That's what I meant!
Zelda: (regains consciousness) Gannondorf… he's finally finished… With his hatred and Evil he couldn't control the power of the Triforce.
(the grounds Shakes)
Zelda: Link! Go check it out!
Link: Why me?
Joey: Because you're the hero…
Nick: (laughs) Yea… Hero…
Link: (walks up to the pile of rubble) Hmmm
Gannondorf: (Bursts up from the rubble, breathing heavily)
Nick: Last breath! My ass!
Joey: Yea. Link! Aim for the throat next time!
Gannondorf: (raises his triforce piece and morphs into Gannon)
Link: (raises his sword)
Gannon: (knocks it out of Links hand)
Link: Son of a Bitch!
(the wall of fire goes up around everybody)
Link: I need some help here!
Joey: (walks through the fire) What do you need?
Link: … Help killing Him!
Joey: Nick! Help Link!
Nick: (looks at the fire wall) they are going to have to make it higher than that! Stand back ill use my blackness! (Does a matrix jump over the fire wall)
Joey: (watching nick) why is he the only one going in Slow Motion?
Link: (getting Pwned by gannon)
Joey: Oh yea, I should help shouldn't I? (Shoots Gannon straight in the face with the Light Beam)
Gannon: (reels back and roars as the fire wall lowers)
Link: (limps over and picks up the master sword)
Joey: Hand me the master sword.
Link: (hands Joey the master sword)
Joey: (puts the master sword in his arm cannon and shoots it at Gannon)
Gannon: (Gets hit in the throat and the firewall lowers again)
Zelda: (casts the spell that holds Gannon in place) Link! Thrust it into the Demons head! I cant hold him for long!
Joey: (looks at the sword in Gannon's throat) I don't think he really needs to be held in place…
(a "Zipper sound is heard")
Zelda: (looks at link) Not with that you idiot! Your SWORD!
Link: ooohhhh (Zips up his pants) Sorry… (Removes the sword from Gannon's throat and stabs him straight in the forehead)
Nick: (Lands on the ground finally) alright where is he?
Joey: Hes dead already, jackass.
Nick: Oh… I probably shouldn't have milked that landing so much…
Gannondorf: (falling into the nothingness) Curse you Link! Curse you Zelda! Curse you Joey! Curse you Nick!
Nick & Joey: (walk up next to gannondrof)
Gannondorf: CURSE YOU FANG-
Joey: Umm gannondorf… why are you flailing around on the floor like a fish?
Gannondorf: Umm (stands up) I was exercising…
Nick: Suuurree….
Gannondorf: One more One more… (drops to his knees) CURSE YOU TELEMARKETERS!
Joey: Telemarketers?
Gannondorf: Yes, they always call during dinner!
Nick: Whatever…
Joey: Well we really got nothing else to do, can we hang out here with you?
Gannondorf: I don't see why not…
Nick: Sweet… Can I order some Pizza?
Gannondorf: Yea sure its on speed dial.
Nick: (presses speed dial and listens for a moment then starts laughing) Gannon! Your Speed dial dials a Sex Hotline! AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Gannondorf: umm use Speed dial 2…
Nick: IT'S A GAY Hotline!
Joey: I now officially know too much…But before we come back here we got to go bug link some more!
Nick: What? Nooo
Joey: There's a party going on at Lon Lon ranch, I plan on making an appearance.
Nick: Eh, ill go too then.
(In the clouds with Link and Zelda, Joey and Nick suddenly appear)
Zelda: Well, this is the end…
Link: yea… these clouds probably won't hold us forever…
Zelda: Not that you idiot. You must return to when you we're a child and give me the ocarina.
Link: (gropes himself) Noo… can I at least stay for the party tonight?
Zelda: Fine, one night for the party.
Joey: Oh no… he's going to show up…
(At the Lon Lon ranch)
Nick: Didn't Nintendo promise an Orgy after this game?
Joey: Yea, but we are in the American version.
Nick: Why do Censors have ruin everything… well can I bring booze?
(A/N That was one more, because I couldn't come up with a better line for nick)
Joey: It's the American version, it's alright.
Nick: Nay! Sweet!
Joey: Nay? What are you a horse now?
Nick: (thinks for a second and grins then chuckles to himself) Eheh nooo, that's just too easy… (Brings booze and they all get drunk and the orgy happens anyways)
(Hours later, in the tower at the back of the ranch)
Fangz: Alright I brought it (holds up a small plastic baggie)
Joey: Where'd you get it?
Fangz: Ingo is loaded with the stuff.
Nick: (Walks in pushing a wheelbarrow full of weed) Alright! Who wants to get fucked up!
Link: The Butt!
(Everyone backs away from Link accept Fangz)
Fangz: What? He can't do anything to me! (Points at Link)
Link: Yea I can… I could fuck you.
Fangz: Alright 2 reasons you can't do that. One you don't even know what the word Fuck means… and 2… Saria stole your boy parts!
Link: They aren't "Boy Parts" They're (tries to deepen his voice) "Man Parts"
(Everyone falls over laughing at link)
Fangz: Come back when you grow some pubes!
Link: (starts crying)
Nick: I have pubes! So… what are you doing tonight?
Fangz: Nothing that involves you (walks off)
(Later)
(At the Temple of Time)
Link: (puts the master sword in place and time Shifts back 7 years)
Link: Well I got to wait 7 more years to get those back (gropes himself)
Navi: (Some how got out of link and flies up to the window) GOODBYE FOREVER FUCKERS!
End Chapter 20
Joey: Well it's finally complete I feel so accomplished! Its been a good 4 years hahaha Don't worry more stories will come! EVENTUALLY! And I only took a few parts just like I said, its not like I took the whole movie and made it my fic, just a couple lines that I couldn't pass up…
Mike: Leave a review! No Flames!
Joey: And one more thing I would like to take a poll of who is your favorite character in my story so let me know in your reviews who are your fav. Alright I'm outta here!
THE END! FINALY!