Author's Note:
Hey guys! Ok this is Chapter 10! there is no Sean is this chapter for all you Sean fans, but he's going strong in Chapter 11 so just read anyway ok? Um, I am writing Chapter 11 as we speak and hopefully it'll be up later tonight. Anyway tho' I also have 2 other stories that I just posted so go check em out and R & R ok!
Alright, I'm done with the crazy...
And the shameless self-promotion...
on with the story...
Jazzy-Raveler!
Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi...would I really be sitting here typing to you...?
Chapter 10
Things Better Left Unsaid…
Emma's cheery attitude in the morning strongly contrasted Manny's gloomy one and Manny thought as much as she sat at the kitchen table and watched her friend humming happily as she washed the breakfast dishes.
The reason of course for Emma's happiness was her talk with Sean. She was really surprised at how good it had felt to finally speak about…everything. Well, everything she could anyway, and she'd been smiling to herself all morning about how well their "talk" if you could really call it that, had gone. Even though they'd ended up crying in one another's arms She and Sean had still…still…Connected? She thought curiously, Reunited? What had they actually done through their talk? She wasn't sure, but instead of searching for a word-that she couldn't find, anyway-to describe their encounter with, she just shrugged the thought off, reminding herself that she'd been in Sean's arms and that was all that really mattered. Then, Emma shuddered, and quickly shook off the thought that this was possibly the entire reason why she felt so much better.
Manny on the other hand, had had no long-awaited hugs, encounters, or even talks with the love of her life and she stared at Emma angrily. She knew that Emma was happy about something that had to do with Sean, but she knew that Emma wouldn't admit it and she also knew that it would be pointless to ask. And so, mixing this with the growing resentment she'd begun to feel thinking that Emma'd been relieved through talking or…whatever after having advised her not to, Manny stared at her friend, her arms crossed, jealousy mixing with pain and sadness, and showing up unintentionally in her face.
Emma turned around and looking at her friend almost jumped, startled at the look Manny was searing into her. "Manny?" Emma said, calming herself and then tensing a little, worried about Manny "Are you ok? You look like you had a rough night." Manny shrugged her expression changing to just a tightened stare saying, "Maybe I did." Then her eyes flickered angrily and she said staring up at Emma-. "How was your walk?" Emma managed to suppress the smile and said simply, staring down at the table as she sat down across from her friend, "It was…nice. I sorted a lot of stuff out." "About Peter or about Sean?" Manny said, giving Emma a nasty pinched look.
Emma kept her composure and remembering that Manny was hurt about Craig said placing her hand on Manny's "About…everything. But what about you? Are you sure you'reok? You know…Craig-wise?" Manny's glare died down at the sound of Craig's name and her face melted sadly "I miss him so much, Em!" She said almost bursting into tears at that instant. "It's only been two days and I already miss him sooooo much. How am I supposed to deal with this…?"
Emma felt a little ashamed about having advised Manny not to think about Craig, and so, trying to soothe her own conscious, she offered "Well, then… why don't you call him and tell him?" Manny's expression changed again, this time stubborn, though still sad and she said "No. I-I can't…" "Why not!" Emma exclaimed, "He obviously misses you like crazy, too. You're cell phone hasn't stopped ringing, since you guys broke up." Manny looked toward the ground with a mixed sense of guilt and pain saying quietly "Craig cheated on me, Em." Emma was a little shocked at Manny's statement. She was only a little shocked, because Craig had cheated on his girlfriend-Ashley-before…with Manny. But she was still shocked because for some reason or other it had never occurred to her that he might actually cheat on Manny.
"Manny are you…are you sure? How do you kn-" "I saw them." Manny said her eyes locked shamefully on the floor "I was walking to school, Thursday," "But…you didn't come to school…" "I was going to go after like, first period. And I was about to call Craig, apologize to him cuz we'd gotten into a fight the other day…"
Emma held Manny's hand comfortingly as Manny went on, anger and pain increasing in her voice "And I was talking to him. I was on the phone with him Emma and that's when I turned the corner and I saw him with…her."
Emma's confusion about the whole situation caught up with her at the sound of the words "her" and her mind raced as she searched her memory for Craig girl friends and tried to think of any of the possible "her"'s Manny could've meant.
Her mind landed on only 2 girls: Ashley and Ellie. It's can't be Ashley. She's in London, she thought and then found herself glancing at Manny in disbelief. She couldn't possibly mean… "Ellie?" Emma said with a surprised gasp Manny nodded "Yeah, he was sitting in the car with her. They were smiling all goofily and-" Manny's angered statement went unfinished as Emma un-expectantly burst into laughter.
Manny scowled at Emma hatefully, "What is so funny?" She gritted through her clenched teeth as Emma sat back in her chair gasping for breaths, in-between laughter. "You…this…Craig…and Ellie." Manny snatched her hand away from Emma's, standing up and staring down at her angrily, tears welling up into her eyes. "Well, I'm glad you find it so funny!" She yelled at Emma and turned marching hastily into the other room.
"Manny, wait!" Emma said calming herself down-realizing how insensitive she'd been-and standing up to follow her angered friend into the living room. "Look," she said, as she sat beside Manny on the couch, staring at her a and feeling a little ashamed "I'm sorry ok, it's just that…Craig isn't cheating on you, Manny; and especially not with Ellie." Manny looked at Emma a little perturbed. "Yes he is. I just told you I saw-" "So did I." Emma said, cutting her friend off with a knowing smile "I saw Ellie and Craig leaving Degrassi together…to go and find you. Craig wanted to convince you that nothing was going on with them."
Manny had hoped she'd get relief from whatever Emma was going to say, but instead it only upset her more and she said calmly "Em, Craig and Ellie never came and looked for me. He must've been lying…" "But, Manny," Emma said, trying hard to cheer her friend up, feeling that her sadness was somehow her fault. "Craig wasn't even talking to me. He was talking to Ellie. I don't think he-" "Emma!" Manny said sharply, in a distressingly shameful tone "Craig cheated on Ashley for months…and she-she never knew, Em. I'm pretty sure Craig doesn't have too much difficulty when it comes to lying." As Manny finished her statement, painful tears dropped from her eyes, and she turned away from Emma, putting her face into her trembling hands.
Emma couldn't process what exactly she was hearing. For one thing she knew that Ellie wasn't that kind of girl; even if Manny was- and it just didn't fit. Something about all of this just wasn't right and Emma racked her brain-a little harder than she normally would have had to, if she hadn't had a certain, blue-eyed, brown haired, muscular guy on her mind, and finally she gasped with a questioning energy and turned towards Manny.
"Manny? You said you were walking to school after first period…?" Manny glanced slowly up at Emma and nodded. Emma smiled at her friend, and Manny looked at Emma impatiently "You're point is…?" "Manny! Don't you get it! Craig and Ellie were in his car because they were about to go look for you! Then you called, and you freaked and-" "They never came!" Manny finished with surprised relief. "Oh my God! Emma! You're right!" but then after the sudden burst of relief, Manny's happiness disappeared and was replaced by a look of a different kind of surprise.
"Oh my God Em! Craig probably thinks I'm the biggest bitch!…What am I going to say to him?" Emma shrugged "Just tell him…tell him what happened, he'll understand." "No, Emma. I am sooooo embarrassed." Manny said sinking into the couch. She sunk even deeper into the couch thinking about the fact that she'd fought Ellie about an issue that was-at least to the extreme of actually cheating with Craig-nonexistent. "Oh my god. I am the biggest bitch." She said as though admitting defeat. "Manny, no you aren't." Emma said sitting beside Manny with a reassuring tug at her shoulders.
"You just don't get it Em. How am I supposed to tell Craig that I…how am I supposed to apologize to Ellie?" Emma looked at Manny bewildered, her confusion deepening at Manny's last words. "Why would you have to apologize to Ellie…?"
Manny played it off coolly deciding not to go into the details "For thinking that of her… Accusing her…sort of." "Well, I think Ellie will understand," Emma said thoughtfully reflecting back to the few times in her entire life that she'd actually talked to Ellie, and hoping that she was right.
"But as for Craig…he's…" Emma paused nodding at her friend gently with a smile "Manny, Craig is crazy about you. He's been calling like every minute and he obviously wants you back. Just tell him what happened, when he calls." Manny smiled at Emma, feeling guilty about her jealous thoughts earlier. "Thank's Em. What would I do without you?" Emma smiled as she crossed her arms and said with a playful smile "Honestly?...I have no idea!"
Emma and Manny both sat at the kitchen table staring intently at Manny's cell, willing it to ring. Eventually, the phone did ring…the house phone, and Emma jumped up racing to answer it. Manny stared at Emma expectantly as she walked back into the kitchen. "It was Snake…" Emma said shaking her head softly, "He said they won't be back until this afternoon. I guess they're having a good time." Manny sighed uninterestedly, saying, "Goodie. Glad they're having such a fun-filled weekend." And turned back towards her uncooperative cell phone leaning her head lazily on her hand. Emma nodded saying "Me too," her voice dripping with restrained jealously and sarcasm "I'm soooo happy that some people can find love…even in it is in such a late state of their lives…" Manny looked at Emma and they both burst into laughter.
After sitting at the table and staring at the phone for a moment longer Manny placed both hands on the table and set her head on them glaring at the phone intently. Ring! Ring! Ring! Emma followed her example and setting her head on her hands also and thinking Call Manny, Craig! Call Manny!
The girls were so deeply set in their thoughts, so zoned into to willing the phone to ring, granting Manny much-needed happiness, and Emma much needed relief that she felt from the thought that Manny was unhappy, while she was happily datin-friends with-…whatever! With Sean, that when they heard ringing-the doorbell-coming from somewhere other than the phone, Emma jumped and Manny screamed. Calming down and realizing what had happened they both glared at one another as though it were somehow the others' fault that the doorbell had rung instead of the phone.
"Aren't you gonna get that?" Manny demanded after a moment, "Um, is there something wrong with your legs!" Emma shot back, but still got up and walked toward the door. She hoped it was Sean-although she saw no reason why he'd be at her door at 10 in the morning, and knew he'd think feel the same. But, Emma pretty much expected it to be Craig, which would explain why he had yet to call Manny's taunting cell phone.
Of course, it was neither of these two and as Emma yanked the door open she was greeted with a stare from ex's uncomfortable and tired face. "Hi," Peter said looking at Emma in a way that made her feel uncomfortable, ashamed, and weirded out all at the same time. Emma shivered inside, thinking that maybe he was about to tell her off, and this weird look was just his preparation, and she braced herself for whatever he might call her, or shot at her.
In actuality, Peter noticed a difference in Emma. Not the way she looked, but her air. He wasn't sure-or at least he hoped he wasn't sure-but there was something so…different, about her.
He eyed Emma suspiciously, but said softly, sincerely "You look great, Emma…" Emma nodded "Thanks." She said, not sure what else to say. It's only been 3 days, she thought puzzled at the seriousness in Peter's voice as he said the comment.
Peter just looked at Emma for a moment. Comparing this Emma, who seems rejuvenated, or at least had some sense of relief on her, the stress reduced in her worried eyes and her smile with a little more meaning than it had had only a few days earlier, to the Emma that he'd broken up with-depressed, lifeless almost, sad and worried and tense and stressed-Peter noted that it wasn't his imagination…there was definitely a change.
After his eyes flickered angrily for just a second, he asked "Can I…I mean: do you mind if I-I just wanna say something to you?" "No! Of course not, come on in Peter…" Emma said turning to walk in the door, Peter following obediently behind her into the living room shaking nervously as he entered.
Slight Scene Change: Manny walking down the stairs to She and Emma's room
At the sight of Emma's worried look and Peter walking carefully behind her, Manny stood up and walked out of the kitchen, her cell phone in hand, not wanting to be anywhere near whatever emotional explosion the 2 of them were about to have.
Manny felt a little sorry for Peter, something that after getting the know the guy a little, she couldn't seem to help. Emma didn't treat him like a boyfriend-not like Sean- and although Peter didn't know this, Manny did. Sometimes, she'd think that Emma had just decided to stop caring altogether and was using Peter just so she'd have a guy. Other times Manny thought that Emma was scared of being hurt again and used her uncharacteristic methods of handling Peter as a way to keep him at arms length.
For some reason or other it never occurred to Manny that Emma was in still love with a completely different person and that she Emma partially semi-resented Peter for not being Sean.
It was a good thing that Manny didn't know this, Emma had long since thought and decided not to tell her. Manny, being the way that she was, would've tried her best to convince Emma to try and steal Sean back from Ellie, something that was a bit too drastic for Emma's particular taste. But as Manny seemed to live by the rule "all's fair in war and love is war" she wouldn't have cared either way.
As Manny walked down the steps the phone rung in her hands and it startled her so much, she almost fell down the stairs. Once she'd calmed her racing heart and was sitting carefully down on the stairs, she quickly glanced at the caller id and smiled. Craig! She thought, and after lauighing giddily to herself and then calming down-just enough so he wouldn't hear the giddiness in her voice-Manny answered the phone, trying to sound as though she hadn't been waiting 2 hours for the call. "Manuela…" she managed to purr smoothly, although she stood up hopping down from the stairs and racing over to her bed.
Craig, who was just doing a routine call and hadn't expected an actual answer sounded shocked and amazed saying "Ma-Manny?" Manny smiled, this time not hiding it from her voice "Yeah, Craig, it's me." "Manny I-I just I, uh…how you been?" Craig stuttered, sounding a little unsure of himself "I'm fine Craig,…How are you!" Manny said, sounding a little too excited "I'm good." Craig said, his confidence level building as he noted the happiness in Manny's voice.
"Listen, Manny, I really wanted to talk to you and I was just wondering if you would mind com-" "I'll be right over!" Manny blurted, then blushed realizing that she was a little too giddy to gain the upper hand the way she wanted. "I mean…like, in a little while." She stated clearing her throat and forcing the happiness out of her voice. "Oh. ok. Good. I'll, uh, I guess I'll see you in a little while…" Craig said his own voice growing uneasy as he finished this sentence, although Manny didn't notice.
As soon as she'd hung up Manny jumped up and down happily clapping her hands. Shethen begun ripping through her clothes looking for something that fit this particular situation.
She finally decided on an outfit and changed from Mopey-Heartbroken-gray-flannel-pajama-pants to Reinstated- knockout-girlfriend-purple mini-dress, with matching heels. She raced towards the steps before remembering suddenly that Emma and Peter were upstairs "talking" and decided, blowing out her breath, that she'd much rather go out the window, then risk walking through a possible hurricane of Emma's emotion…
Slight Scene Change: Living room of Emma's house
Emma sat across from her ex, waiting in painful anticipation of whatever he was about to say. The way he was looking at her uneasily alerted her that it was nothing too good.
"Um, Emma?" Peter began, softly rubbing his hands together nervously. He stared across the room at her, what seemed miles of distance in between them. He was more nervous about what she would say to him than what he was about to say to her.
Emma just nodded at Peter, her eyes widening. She felt a little weird, felt like she looked as uncomfortable as she felt. She sat with her hands in her lap, legs crossing and then uncrossing, crossing and then uncrossing and finally just spread widely apart, with her slumping in an unattractive way. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to act. Was awkward sitting and gaping normal post-breakup behavior? She wasn't sure; her only other break-ups Sean, of course, and a jamaican Dj (rebound) named Chris, had been hostile. Neither of those 2 exes had ever attempted to talk to her after their breakups, let alone visit her at 10 in the morning staring at her disturbingly.
Plus, Peter being as hard as hell to read didn't help much either.
Peter was thinking the exact same thing about Emma and finally taking a deep breath he said calmly, "I'm sorry about thursday...I was a jackass." Emma nodded "That's ok. I haven't exactly been the director of the unbitchy express lately." Emma said, with her trademark sarcasm and a tone of understanding.
Peter smiled at this, Emma hadn't been this…Emmalike in a long time. Then remembering that another guy may've have been the unexplained reason for this change in Emma, his smile disintegrated into a nervous, but still hopeful look.
"Well, since we both feel...like that, what do you say we go ahead and just take a break, you know, instead of breaking up?" Emma's eyes widened…wider. For some reason she hadn't expected this, and the mention of being back with Peter left her kind of speechless, "Um, Peter...you uh, you broke up with me…" "I know." Peter said apologetically, "And I'm sorry it's just that when i thought that...you know, that you were trying to leave me for that- that Sean guy, I just...I lost it, you know?" Emma just blinked at Peter. How was she supposed to respond? She wasn't sure but she tried saying slowly. "Peter, I'm not so sure it was a mistake. I mean…maybe it's for the best-" Peters looked around the room angrily, "The best for who exactly?" he said quickly. Emma felt nervous suddenly, she wasn't sure why, if it was because she was thinking of the fact that she'd embraced Sean the previous night, or the fact that once again she was being forced to face the fact that she'd only been using Peter; a fact that she couldn't handle very well.
"The best for..." she paused trying to pull up the most convincing tone and words "both of us." She said after a moment, "I mean, like you said," Emma overly emphasized the "you", subconsciously trying to force the blame on Peter for all of this. "…I haven't really been a good girlfriend and all and you're just…you're a really great guy Peter. So, maybe now you can find someone who's good for-" "I already have," Peter said, in a passionately painful tone.
"You, Emma." Emma shook her head wearily, hoping that Peter would just let this go. "Peter, I don't think-" I love you, Emma!" Peter blurted out quickly as though afraid that if he didn't say it at that moment, with that intensity, it would lose all strength. The words caught Emma off-guard and she stopped mid-sentence, breathless.
For a few moments, Peter and Emma both sat staring at one another, waiting for the result of Peter's declaration.
Scene Change: Outside of Craig's garage room door
Manny walked slowly towards Craig's door. Once she was right outside of it, she breathed deeply, trying to shake her nerves and calm herself. Manny knew that for all his talents, one thing that Craig was not very good at, was talking and she prepared herself to carry the conversation that, she was sure, would lead them into a stronger and much more stable relationship.
All I need, Manny thought, is for him to look me in the eyes and tell me he loves me.
Thinking of the way she'd acted over the past few days, Manny decided she wouldn't be surprised in the least, if Craig told her she was too jealous, too controlling, and handed her all of her "stuff" the moment she opened the door. Suddenly, going into Craig's house didn't seem so appealing, but Manny calmed her overactive imagination before taking a deep breath and saying calming "You can do this...just as long as he says...Ellie!" Manny gasped out in disbelief as she stared to her left and saw the all too unwelcome friend of Craig's, walking towards her.
Ellie, who had been walking towards Craig's door with her head hanging down as she talked to herself, looked up, as startled as seeing Manny Santos ahead of her as Manny was to see her. After stopping for just a moment, Ellie continued her stride toward the door until she stood face to face with Manny. "Manny." she said with an acknowledging nod, with newly found confidence now that Manny was Craig's ex.
"Wait a minute! What are you doing here?" Manny asked sharply with a tone of exasperated confusion. Ellie responded in an equally-maybe even more-exasperated tone "Wait a minute, Manny! Craig asked me to come. Not that it's any of your business tho' since if I recall a certain phone call, you broke up with him! So I should probably be asking you: What are you doing here?" "Craig asked me here;" Manny said pausing with glee as the words took full effect on Ellie, but she added hatefully
"But, he didn't say anything about you being here." Ellie eye's sparked like flames and she spit back, "He didn't say anything about you being here. If he had, trust me, I wouldn't be here." Both girls crossed their arms and stared at one another seemingly daring one another to do or say one more thing. Thankfully, before either could Craig yanked open the door, the sight of the 2 girls burning holes into one another, quickly dissolving his silly hope of a swift reconciliation.
"Manny...Ellie…Come in. Please." he said, immediately realizing what a horrible mistake he'd made in inviting them both unbeknownst to each other. Manny marched in first, eyes locked on Ellie. Ellie walked in after Manny, walking over and sinking down into a chair on the opposite side of the room, staring back at her with disgust.
Manny stood tapping. her purple heel for a moment, before pointing her finger at Ellie viciously. "Craig! What in the hell is that girl doing here!" "I...asked her...to come. I-I" Ellie sat up in her seat with a tone of angry retaliation, "This girl has a name, you overdressed skank!" Then snapping her head around towards Craig, who was standing nervously, uncertainly, between the 2 of them, Ellie said angrily, "Manning! Stop stuttering and start explaining, before I get angry!" "Before you get angry!" Manny said, sharply taking a threatening step toward Ellie. Ellie stood up and Craig grabbed Manny quickly, "You guys just-just calm down alright? It's not that serious… really." Ellie sat back down slowly, never taking her hateful glare off of Manny who stepped back to her position, eyes locked on Ellie's, returning the favor.
"Look…I called you both here because Manny," Craig said turning towards Manny with a repentant look, "I know things aren't that great with us right now but...I would never...I wouldn't cheat on you. I swear. I learned my lesson the first time." Although, the choice of words-seeing as how Manny felt she was the "lesson" that Craig was referring to-wasn't the best, Manny's hateful glare melted into a soft and understanding expression, and her thoughts reverted back to the ones she'd had before she'd seen Ellie and cooed softly "Oh, Craig." kissing him gently on the lips.
Craig smiled dopily before turning towards Ellie saying "And El, I wanted you to come so that I could apologize to you for...what Manny thought. I mean, I'm really sorry and I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything. So I just wanted to let you know-once and for all-that I don't look at you that way..." Ellie's face darkened as Craig spoke and disappointed pain surfaced in her eyes. "Craig? You could've just told me that." She said, standing up slowly "I'm sorry El. It's just…well, I've put you through a lot when it comes to Manny and I-" "Yeah, Craig you have!" Ellie snapped, shutting Craig up and causing Manny to get a concerned and almost sympathetic look on her face.
"Ellie?" she began cautiously, "I think what Craig is trying to say is that...he's sorry-No-I'm sorry for accusing you of that and…everything else." Manny paused here and she felt a little emotional as she continued. "It's just that...I know what I did when I was in love, and" Craig broke Manny off laughing and ruining Manny's attempt at a sincere-albeit, pretty forced-apology. "Manny! I knew you thought Ellie liked me, but let's not get carried away all right!" He said laughing and then glancing over at Ellie expecting her to join in on his joke; which she didn't.
"Ellie?" Craig said playfully, as he stepped over poking her in the ribs "My girls got quite the imagination, huh?" Ellie's eyes were filled with painful tears as she glanced up at Craig. "Craig, don't, alright?" Craig's laughter was replaced solemnly with a surprised and confused expression. "Ellie? What's wro-" he said putting his hands around her waist in an attempt to force her eyes to look into his. Ellie slapped his hands away from her sides and turned her back to him, trying with all she had left in her to try and hold back the tears, but it was no use. All of this- being alone, then Sean having come back and revealed that his purpose was Emma, Craig having been her best friend and now being so Manny-obsessed that he could barely see past his nose,- it was too much for Ellie, and as she broke down crying she spoke the words that she'd so often said to herself knowing-at least she'd thought-that she'd never repeat them to Craig.
"She's not imagining things Craig...she's right..." Craig stared at Ellie's heaving back and sighed with confusion, "El, you, you like me?" "Love, Craig!" Ellie saids as she turned to face him. "I love you. And I have for the past year and a half. It was Craig's turn to look dumbfounded and Manny found herself holding in a nervous breath. "But-bu-Ellie you," Craig stammered looking around nervously "I mean the other night you were...I mean you were in tears; crying about Sean!" Ellie shook her head with a laugh as painful to hear as it was for her to give, "About you, Craig. I haven't cried about Sean in...in months." She finished her sentence quietly and then wiping her eyes with a pained expression. Then added with twisted laughter, "But you?...don't get me started."
Manny stared at Ellie with a wistful look on her face, that Ellie didn't catch being that she was too busy feeling like a complete idiot for stating this painful truth.
Craig looked stunned, big-time, and he spoke in bits and pieces saying..."I just-when did...what am I supposed to..." And finally after this went on for a while he gathered his thoughts, a look of extreme concern on his face and stepping up beside his pained friend, touching her shoulder soothingly, he said, "Ellie how can I-" "You can't, Craig! There's nothing you can do so just...just leave me alone!" Ellie yelled backing slowly away from Craig who looked on bewildered. Manny stood behind Craig biting her lip, apparently waiting for something bad to happen.
As Ellie backed up, her hand traveled up to her neck and she pulled fiercely at the choker that Craig had given her. Finally, she managed to rip it from her neck, just as Craig was saying "Ellie don't! I want you to-" "I don't want it Craig..." she said, calmly now although the tears flowed down her faces still. "Take it..." she glanced at Manny spitefully "Give it to her...flush it down the freaking toilet! I don't care! I don't care anymore, Craig!" Ellie threw the broken choker at Craig's feet and then she looked at him with a look so painful that it hurt him-and even Manny. "I can't…not anymore." Ellie said, twisting the doorknob behind her back, before ripping the door open and racing out.
Manny and Craig both stood in silent anticipation of the next move. Manny closed her eyes and hoped to God that Craig would say something to her- "I love you," "I'll be back," "lemme go check on her and i'll be right back"-Anything that would solidify that his leaving to chase after Ellie, as he was, Manny decided undoubtedly about to do, didn't add up to his choice; didn't add up to his leaving her. Please say something!… Anything!, Manny pleaded with her eyes as she opened them catching Craig's concerned stare.
Craig opened his mouth to speak and Manny almost breathed a sigh of relief, but Craig closed his mouth, apparently having no idea what to say, and turned and rushed out the door, yelling "Ellie? Wait!"
Manny eyes glanced around the room and she stood there speechless. Finally, her eyes focused in on the choker that Ellie had thrown at Craig's feet, and she leaned down, picking up a pearl, one of her tears slid gracefully down it's orbed sides.
Scene Change: Back in Emma's living room...
Emma stared straight ahead, not looking at Peter or anything else for that matter, only seeing the memories of Sean flashing through her mind. Emma silently recalled every conversation she'd had with Sean; every part of herself that she'd shown him and tried-as she often had before-to remember a moment that he'd said the words "I love you." to her. Of course, she couldn't, because there was no such incident, and this thought caused Emma great pain.
Here was Peter Stone, fun-loving strong-minded bastardly Peter Stone, who hadn't known Emma for more than a year and already he was able to love her. Already he'd fallen for her in a way that Sean had never been able to say or admit or whatever. In a way that Sean had never not in three years ever been able to say to Emma. And -though she didn't think of this-Emma'd never worked up the nerve to say it to him either.
Emma looked at Peter, really looked at him the way she used to when they'd first starting dating and she felt a small pain in her chest. On one hand, she was flattered and amazed how in the world could she, mopey sorry excuse for a girlfriend, -how could she have earned Peter's love? How did she even deserve to be loved?
And on the other hand, She thought about the fact that Peter actually said he loved her. He actually did and she couldn't return his affections. No matter how good she wanted to seem, no matter how much she didn't want to break his heart, this was something that she couldn't just lie about; something she couldn't pull off and she knew this even as she wished for some miraculous way out addressing it.
Peter was still staring at Emma when she tuned back into his face. He was still sitting in front of her with that hopeful expression, waiting patiently for Emma to return his affections or at least acknowledge them. Emma turned her head towards the ground stammering out slowly "Peter...I...Thank you. And I really appreciate everything you've done for me, but I just do-" "You love him, right?" Peter said, his voice high and full of angered sadness.
Emma still couldn't say that. She didn't want Peter to think that Sean was the reason that she couldn't love him. This, in actuality, he did have nothing to do with, and Emma decided that she wouldn't have him blamed for it. "No, Peter! It's not because of Sean or-or Jay or any other guy. It's because of...It's because of me." Emma said quietly and paused, biting her lip as the words set in for her as well as Peter.
"Because you used me..." Peter said sounding hurt, the rage in his eyes intensifying rapidly "Peter, I didn't. I jus-" "Emma, what is wrong with you!" Peter said jumping up and staring down at Emma angrily. "You're so busy lying to everyone else, even to yourself..." he trailed off shaking his head at her with a disappointed look "Sometimes, I think you're starting to believe the lies yourself." And as he said this Peter turned away from Emma marching toward the door.
"Peter, wait!" Emma called after him determined to convince him that he was wrong; that she hadn't been using him. That somewhere somewhere along the line she'd cared for him, and it hadn't just been about convincing everyone that she was okay enough to have a boyfriend. But as she reached the door, Emma's strong sense of restoring her self-image faded and she realized that Peter was right. She was lying to herself and even forcing herself to believe the lies...
Peter turned towards her with a faint smile as he said, touching her forehead gently "I'm really sorry, Emma. Sorry I wasted your time..." and then his voice turned harsh as he pulled his hand away from Emma's face saying "…And sorry you wasted mine!" and turned away from her stepping out the door and slamming it obnoxiously behind him.
Emma plopped down onto the couch, tears already forming a small pool in her lap. She pulled her legs up onto the couch and held her knees burying her face in them. Just when she'd thought that maybe things could be better, maybe she and Sean had a future apart from this… this feeling that something horribly disastrous was waiting for her to fall for him again...Peter had come along and reminded her that she was not only broken, she was shattered, some of the pieces possibly missing. And Emma doubted as she sobbed into her knees, that even Sean Cameron, could fix her this time.