No Regrets
by hotsodagirl
Summary: "I don't want to have any regrets when I die. Now there is only one thing to do - tell him how I really feel."
Rating: K
Genre: Romance
Sodagirl Says: This just came to me one day and I just had to do it! So read it and please let me know what you think! Also, I'd love to know what couple most people thought of for this, so let me know in your review who you imagined the couple was in this, okay:D
For readers of Flame of my Heart, sorry I haven't updated in a while! I'm almost done with the next part! I was only able to get this one-shot up because it didn't take me very long to write. You'll probably notice that in my one-shots I usually tend to use a different writing style than I normally do, so this isn't really written like my normal story is. This is also very short compared to some of my other chapters, but I felt like doing this.
Read and review! Love ya'll!
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My cousin Erica is dead.
She died late the other night coming home from the movies. She was driving perfectly, but even the safest drivers can get into accidents. A drunk driver hit her while he was speeding - ninety miles an hour in the wrong lane. She had no time to react, no time to do anything. There was a head-on collision, and she was killed on impact.
Now I sit in the front pew at her funeral procession. There are so many more people here than I ever would have imagined. I knew she was popular at East High, but I never realized all these people cared about her. Almost every student in our grade is here, and many from the other grades, but before anything else I notice he isn't here. He is the love of my life, but he doesn't know it. I fell in love the first time I saw him, but I've always been too afraid to tell him. We're really good friends, and I don't want to wreck that relationship if he doesn't feel the same about me. The only person I've ever told about him is Erica. We were the best of friends, and we told each other everything. She knew about him, and I knew about her secret crush, Reid. He is sitting two pews behind me. I'm sure it would mean so much to her that he's here, if she were alive.
I have to wonder why he isn't here. He and Erica were pretty good friends, so where is he? He's probably at some sort of school event. My friends and I are almost always busy with school stuff. We're diversified - some of us are into basketball, some into academics, and some into the theater. I wish he were here. I could use his comfort as I mourn for my deceased cousin.
"Hey. Are you okay?" I hear a voice next to me. It's my aunt. She has such a sad look on her face; I can't help but to force a smile and nod. Even as I do this, I feel the tears in my eyes, and I see the tears in hers. She has lost her only daughter; I have lost my best friend.
"I found this in her room," she says, holding a small book out to me. I recognize it; it's her journal. I remember she used to write in it every day. "I think she would want you to have it."
She sets the journal in my limp hands and walks away. At first I can only stare at the multi-colored cover. I am unsure of whether or not I should read it. We both knew the importance of privacy, but she is dead. Besides, I doubt there would be anything in here that I didn't already know about.
I sigh and flip open to a random page. I have to chuckle at a few of the entries. Over the past few days, everyone has been so sorrowful over our loss. I had almost forgotten how energetic and lively she had always been. She was the loudest, funniest person that any of us knew. She was my best friend, and she was amazing.
I finally get to the last entry. It was written the night before she died. It read,
'Dear Diary,
I just got home from the Homecoming Dance. I suppose it was pretty fun, but there were a few bad parts. The main thing was with Reid. It's weird how I'm so talkative and all, but I can't even muster up the courage to talk to the cutest guy in school! There was even a time during a slow dance when he and I were the only ones around. I could have asked if he wanted to dance, but I didn't. Instead, I spent my time hanging around the punch bowl, looking like a complete idiot. I wish I could just tell him how much I care about him, but I'm afraid of what he would think. I guess... maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I don't know. I'm so confused. Oh well, it's not like that was the last dance of the year. Maybe I'll ask him to dance next time.
Luv ya!
Erica'
By the time I finish reading, I feel tiny droplets running down my cheeks. My tears. They're not only for Erica, but for myself. It was almost like she had taken my life story and rewrote it to her own experiences. She liked Reid so much, but she was never able to tell him. She had planned on asking him to dance next time, but she didn't know there wouldn't be a next time.
And that's when it hit me.
I realized in that moment exactly how fragile life is. You can be alive one moment, and dead the next. You never know what will happen. A car accident, a school shooting, a plane crash... anything can happen at any time. With this revelation came another: If Erica is somehow watching over us through some supernatural intervention, I know she has regrets about not talking to Reid. I don't want to have any regrets when I die, not like the ones she is experiencing at this moment. Now I know there is one thing I need to do. I have to tell him how I really feel.
I stand, setting the book gently in the place I had just been sitting, and walk out to the lobby as I pull out my cell phone. Flipping it open, I dial in the familiar number. On the first ring, I begin to feel nervous. On the second, I literally start shaking. Before the third ring sounds, I hear his voice and I am so scared I almost hang up the phone. But I remember, I don't want regrets when I die.
"Hello?" he asks.
"Hey. It's me," I say, my voice cracking and wavering at the same time. He didn't have to assume I was nervous; he could assume I was just sad.
"Hi. I'm sorry about what happened to your cousin," he says, getting straight to the point. "I know how close you two were."
"Yeah... I miss her..." I trail off and almost lose my train of thought. I pull it back just before it slips away and I clear my throat. "Um, anyways... If you're not busy, do you think you could come down here? I really need to talk to you."
"No problem. I'll be there soon. Wait for me, okay?" He says all this compassionately, as if he truly does care about me. I shake my head, taking the thought from my mind. Don't get your hopes up. You'll tell him how you feel, but don't expect him to feel the same way.
"I will. Thanks." I hang up the phone and walk outside. I sit on a bench and fix my eyes on the road, waiting for any sign of his car. It appears within five minutes, pulls into the lot, and stops in one of the few empty parking spaces. My heart races as I see him emerge from his care; it almost stops when he smiles at me with concern. As he starts toward me, I stand and know that I have no idea what I'm going to say to him. Still, I rush down the stairs and break into a run once my feet hit the gravel. Only a few seconds pass before we meet, but time seems to slow down the closer I get to him. Just before reaching him, I figure out how to tell him.
His arms open wide to give me a sympathetic hug, and I happily fall into them. I look up into his eyes. Just as he is opening his mouth to offer some words of concern, I reach up on my tiptoes and silence his lips with mine. At first he seems surprised, but then I get a shock of my own when he returns the kiss, passionately. After this, I pull away.
"I love you," I whisper. He smiles at me for a second time, nodding.
"I know. Somehow I've always known. Maybe it's because I've always thought the same about you."
I press my lips against his once more and we release our feelings for each other, not through words, but through our kiss. And as he picks me up and carries me to his car without us ever breaking our contact, I feel serene. I have finally revealed my biggest secret, and things can only get better from here. The best thing of all is that I know one thing for sure: If I were to die right at this instant, it wouldn't matter. I wouldn't have a single regret.