Author's Note:

Hey Guys! So here I am at last! I am soooo sorry that it took forever but here are the next 4 chapters. It took forever and a day I know but sorry, life kinda got in the way! I really am seriously gonna finish now tho' because I have this thing about wanting all of my stories to be done before the season premiere...don't ask.

Anyway tho', I tried to make it all dramalicious and for anyone who's been following the story? This chapter explains the title, so you'll see. I hope you guys think it was worth the wait! I think it's really...well, you'll see! Anyway, gotta love my girls Solaris Phoebus and BabyPrincess56! Ya'll keep commenting and keep helping me to write alright!

Much love ya'll! If ya'll like the chapters, please Review!

Here goes...

Jazzy-Raveler!

Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, I wouldn't have to wait till tomorrow to watch the Season premiere...tear, Oh, well...

Chapter 11

Flirtations with Disaster

This Monday morning couldn't have come soon enough for Emma Nelson; she was a girl on a mission. After talking to Peter, or more like Peter talking to her, she had decided that it was time for a change. A lesson in self-denial was hard for Emma, but she realized that it was something she had to deal with or she'd be bogged down by all of these...issues, for the rest of her life.

Of course, while doing this Emma also decided to try and forget all about Jay. I mean, how would Sean really find that out? She mused, convincing herself that he wouldn't because that was just something Emma couldn't figure out. She hated not knowing what Sean's reaction would be, how bad it would be, how much he would hate her. And so even though she was busy trying to acknowledge her denial, she pushed one more thing, maybe the most important thing, to the back of her mind and decided that Jay Hogart wasn't worth thinking about; subconsciously denying her denial.

But still, In first period, as opposed to paying attention to what the teacher was saying Emma was writing a list Mom, for being such a bitchy daughter Dad, refer to Mom reason Peter, for..using him Manny, for not being that good of a friend...Chris, for dating him even though, I knew I wasn't ready to date... She twirled the pencil in her fingers for a moment before jotting down the other name quickly... Ellie, for...for...Well, she knew she'd owed her something though not sure what.

She was making a list of the people that she had either hurt, denied, or felt the need to apologize too. After assessing it, Emma rewrote the list in order of people most denied, or hurt.

Mom

Dad

Manny

Ellie

Peter

Chris

Since her mom was at work Emma moved to the next person Dad. Snake/Dad/Mr.Simpson her media immersion teacher but she wouldn't have his class until after lunch.

Manny

She rolled her eyes away from the list and they landed on Manny. She was looking a little too…Emma wasn't sure but she knew that Manny was hurt over what had happened with Ellie and Craig. Manny seemed to be convinced that Craig going after Ellie had meant that he was leaving her. Although, Emma had insisted that this probably wasn't the case "You left right after he did. How do you know he didn't come back?" Manny had answered in tears "I just know!" and Emma had left it at that. Now, looking at her friend she could see that Manny was still depressed and looked a little too upset to bother so Emma focused on the next person.

Ellie

Emma knew what time Ellie switched classes and figured that she'd deal with her first ,seeing as how she was at the top of the list when it came to the things that Emma denied. She raised her hand nervously and after getting permission to go to the bathroom, she stepped out into the hallway anxiously.

Slight Scene change: Ellie's locker...

The few girls who had seen and heard Ellie and Manny's fight were spreading it through Degrassi like wildfire, and all morning Ellie had been shadowed by hisses of "Boyfriend thief," and "whore," A few girls offered encouraging "Ellie Nash, you rock!" Speaking of the fact that Ellie had stood up to the notoriously hated by Degrassi girls everywhere, Manny Santos. But still, Ellie wasn't able to shake the feeling that everyone here was against her.

Craig had run after her, he'd tried to catch up with her, but somehow, Ellie, stomping the ground fiercely in her boots had outrun him and managed to leap onto the bus as he'd watched it drive slowly away. She hadn't felt like going to school today, but had forced herself out of bed, fearing the state that she'd be reduced to if she stayed home.

Now, Ellie walked down the hall, head down and tears beneath her closed eyelids as she marched drearily towards her locker. She'd already gotten years of glares at it was; now the glares were mean and hateful, as opposed to just disgusted by the "freak" the girls looked at Ellie as an enemy, and Ellie found herself feeling oddly sympathetic towards Manny, wondering how she'd dealt with it for years...

Even though she was talking herself into a delirious state of denial, she wanted so badly for Craig to call her. She wouldn't answer of course, but she wanted to know that he was still there, still trying to do...something. And Ellie opened her locker, reaching for her cell and seeing no new messages placed the phone and her head down in her locker...I'm soooo stupid, she thought, and the tears slid down her cheeks and onto the notebook that she held in her shaking hands pressed against her forehead.

Emma walked toward Ellie's locker. She knew where it was by heart; she'd watched Sean walk over to it...stop by it...get something from it, for what seemed like years although it had only been months. Sure enough, Ellie Nash was standing there head down against it. She looked as though she'd had a pretty crappy night and Emma debated whether or not to go over and talk to her after all. Knowing a Mannified view of everything that had happened the previous day, Emma knew that she might be treading on dangerous water even talking to Ellie. She wondered herself what had happened with her and Craig but she knew better than to ask. Ellie looked so depressing, dressed in all black, black boots, and her makeup seemed a little heavier than usual. Not that Emma had paid much attention to Ellie-or her makeup-since Sean had left, but, still...

Even though she knew it would be…challenging, one thing Emma Nelson never could back down from, was a challenge and she walked over to Ellie's locker, saying "Hey." as she stepped up beside her.

Ellie barely even glanced at Emma, before saying "Can I help you?" with a tone of biting irritation, and a look that Emma could feel burning through her. She's thinking of Manny, Emma thought appeasing herself with the thought that the hostility wasn't towards her. "Look Ellie, I wanted to...I wanted to talk to you." Ellie just stared at Emma. She wasn't in the mood for any charity events or Animal rights campaigns or anything of that regular Emma nature.

"Look, Nelson..." Ellie started with her same tone of uninterested disgust, "It's Emma," Emma said, glaring at Ellie angrily for a second before remembering that she'd come here to make peace, not start trouble and she saying coolly "Can't you ever just call anyone by their first name?" Ellie looked at Emma as though she'd just said the most ridiculous thing possible.

After squinting at her for a moment Ellie said shaking her head in aggravation "Look, what do you want?" Emma took a deep breathe, she gripped her purse strap tightly...she wasn't sure how to start but she just said the words as she felt them "You and...Sean. You were good...together, I mean." Ellie blinked at Emma. Ellie wasn't really shocked that she was hearing this...nonsense, as much as she was shocked that Emma was saying it. At the same time, she'd long been over Sean and she couldn't help but be sick at the sound of hearing his name mentioned with hers from someone who knew nothing about their relationship to begin with; the same way Craig always said it.

"Oh-k? Do you have a point, cuz honestly I can't see where this is going...?" Ellie said, as she pulled a few books out of her locker. "Yeah, I do." Emma paused taking a deep breathe before continuing smoothly "Look, I spoke to Sean and I know you guys talked and all..."

Ellie was looking at Emma with a look of utter disbelief now...

Was she really having this conversation with her?

"Anyway, Ellie look. I know that me and you don't really have a good relationship-" "Seeing as how to have a good relationship you have to have a relationship to begin with." Ellie broke in sarcastically, and Emma rolled her eyes as she continued. "I know that we don't have...that we aren't really "friends" but, I mean...we both cared about Sean. I did, still, even when you guys were together and I..." Emma paused here as though the words took her strength as she said them "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry..."

Ellie just stared at Emma with a blank look as though she couldn't care less about what Emma was saying. Truthfully, she couldn't. She wasn't sure why Emma suddenly felt the need to apologize-for God knows what-and she wasn't too interested. "Seeing as how I have no idea what you're even talking about, I'm going to say okay and bye; I've got to get to class..." Ellie said, turning and walking swiftly toward the corner that broke off of the hall.

"I was jealous of you!" Emma yelled out and couldn't believe that she'd said it, but once she had it was already said, and besides, this was what she'd wanted to do to start with; except...not exactly with...those...words.

Ellie stopped at Emma's last sentence, flooded with curiosity, something made her turn back around. Maybe it was the fact that she'd been so low and hearing that this girl-the girl that she herself had become viciously jealous, well, resentful of, at at least one point-had actually been jealous of her? made her feel-in a weird kind of way-a little better.

She turned around, never allowing the smile that played beneath her lips and said "What?" Emma sighed saying calmly "That day...in Wasaga? When Sean...when he stayed there?. That day? I was so jealous of you, I could've..." Emma looked around as though trying to find something to demonstrate with and instead ended up saying "I was really jealous of you, Ellie." Ellie took a small step back towards Emma, she and Emma were the only two in hallway, and she said, seriously wanting to know..."Why?" "Sean, Ellie. I still...well, I'd never really gotten over him, and I mean he'd just-well, I mean, he saved my life so I guess I was kinda overly in love that day. So, when we were leaving and he he said it to you...I kinda...I really hated you."

Ellie thought back to that day and honestly couldn't remember an entire sentence that Sean had spoken to her. It wasn't that she was still bitter, she didn't have too much time to be bitter, but she did remember and she couldn't fathom what the Hell Emma was talking about. "What? Emma ok, sorry for the poor communication skills, but I'm still not getting what your point-" "He said...I love you," Emma said with unintentional emotion in her voice, and she had look away from Ellie quickly.

Ellie thought on this...had he said that? Yeah, he had. She'd said it first, trying to convince him to come back, and he'd answered "I love you too, but,..." and that was the end of it for her. That "but" was enough for her to know that there wasn't too much more for her to hold on to, if Sean's love for her came with a 'But.'

She said none of this Emma, whom frankly, she thought was being pretty self-righteous. Did she really think that Ellie needed to hear this from her?

Ellie shrugged a little "So? He said that to me all the time, didn't make him stay, now did it?" as she said this, Ellie crossed her arms over her book, something she often did subconsciously when she felt the need to protect herself.

Emma's eyes were filling rapidly with tears Why do I have to be such a crybaby, She thought as she pulled them back calming herself a little. "He never said it...to me." She said flatly, eyes closed, purse strap twisting in her fingers. "And I hated you because...well, we're nothing alike and if he loved you, I felt like he'd never ever love me." Emma finished with an eased relieved as she finished speaking the fear that she'd never spoken out loud.

Ellie was looking at Emma a little differently now. Kind of with an interested sort of caution. She still saw no point in Emma apologizing to her for hatred that she'd never even known about, but she also saw that this was a different, kinder-although still weird- side to Emma than she'd expected, and Ellie decided with a slight nod that she didn't mind Emma Nelson-although she barely spent any time even remembering her existence-as much as she thought she did.

"Ok. Thanks...I think," Ellie said with a nod. Emma wasn't sure how she'd come across but she hoped it was sorta what she'd hoped for. All she was trying to do was make amends. Acknowledge things that she had avoided before and Ellie Nash/Sean Cameron, had been one of the hardest things for her to handle; seeing that he could move on, even though she still couldn't.

'I know, it's weird." Emma said regaining her confidence as she walked over toward Ellie "But, well, you were good for Sean. Really good for him. We both know Amy was just-" "A slut," Ellie said along with her, smiling "Right!" Emma said laughing "But you? Well, I finally realized that he could care about someone else, and that hurt. I know that it's a little...out there Ellie, but I spent so much energy hating you, I just had to apologize."

Ellie was smiling now. She still didn't like Emma; that had nothing to do with Sean. Ellie didn't like a lot of girls, but she decided that Emma was pretty brave and pretty decent to feel the need to apologize for this and so she smiled at her saying, "Thanks." and the two of them actually seemed to be smiling at one another both realizing that the other, wasn't so bad.

Next, was Chris, a little less important than Peter but Emma decided that he'd be easier to deal with. So a little before lunchtime, she found him by his locker digging through Cds and some other stuff.

Emma had a mind not to say anything to Chris at all. He'd treated her pretty badly since there break-up, making comments in class about "the jay incident" as Emma had long since nick-named it, and often giving her dirty looks when he saw her. But that wasn't the issue, the issue for Emma was slowly and surely transferring all of her energy away from the people who'd hurt her, the people she'd hurt, and letting herself deal. Things would be a lot easier to handle then and she walked over to Chris with a determined, but still unsure air.

"Chris?" Emma said as she leaned against the locker next to his. Chris looked up from what he was doing. "Emma Nelson?" he said with a surprised look, in that heavy jaimacan-which Emma used to think was cute, but now found highly unnerving-accent, "Haven't talked to you in, like,...forever." "It's been a while." Emma nodded thoughtfully "So...how've you been? Since, well..." "Do you mean the shooting? Since Sean left? Or are you talking about the STD? Maybe, Anorexia...?" Emma said bitterly, making Chris feel and look ashamed ."Look Emma, I'm so-" "No, Chris wait," Emma said, stopping him. She hadn't come over here for this and she wouldn't let Chris rob her of her moment.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go all...psycho ex on you, but it's just...it's been a little rough that's all." "Yeah," Chris said with a shrug "I heard..." "I'm sure everyone's heard." Emma said glancing toward some girls who were staring at she and Chris from the other side of the hall. "But, listen, I just I've been thinking about a lot of things, and I-I just wanted you to know...that I'm sorry." Chris shook his head "Emma, you don't have to apologi-" "I know, I don't." Emma said pushing herself off of the locker she'd been leaning against. "But, still, I'm sorry about...breaking up with you like...that. I wasn't ready for a relationship and I just had a hard time admitting it. I'm sorry you were the first to find out." Chris smiled, his trademark carefree smile and he nodded.

"It's cool Emma. I'd forgotten all about it. Besides, I should be the one apologizing, I wasn't exactly the best ex-" "You were a Jackass." Emma broke in with a knowing tone "I was." Chris said hanging his down "And I'm sorry." he said sincerely. "Thanks." Emma said with a smile. "So...we're "officially" cool?" "Yeah," Chris said smiling "Cool as ice." "And...no more dirty looks?" Emma added looking at Chris's eyes for assurance. "Em-ma! I said we're coo-" "No more dirty looks?" Emma said again in a way that let Chris know that she needed to hear it. "No Emma." he said shaking his head slowly. No more dirty looks, I promise." He said with a reassuring smile. Emma smiled too, as she stepped over, acknowledging Chris's outstretched arms with a hug.

Scene change: Toronto National Bank

Sean walked out of the bank with a yellow envelope in his hands, tapping it lightly against his fingers. He smiled to himself as climbed into his car and thoughts of Emma played over and over in his mind. Although his talk with Emma hadn't had the exact affect that it had had on Emma, Sean had still been happier today than he had been most days since he'd been back. And although he didn't state it out loud,-who could he tell anyway?-Emma, was the reason.

He'd thought long and hard about a way that he and Emma could...well, a way that he could become "friends" with her again; something more actually, but he was too busy trying to figure out where the hell they stood anyway, to get past the friend part.

Sean glanced at his watch and noticing that it would be right about lunch time at Degrassi, he smiled and cranked up his car speeding toward the school, glad to have found an opportunity to visit Emma.

Scene Change: Manny's Locker

Manny wasn't too hungry. She'd wanted to stay home today but decided that it wouldn't be too good an idea to miss another day of school. Rumors were around circulating that she and Ellie had fought over Craig, and she slumped down against her locker loathing herself for having been dumb enough to think he'd actually choose her over Ellie, and loathing him for breaking her heart.

She was in no mood for talking and so when her Emma came over saying to her with a smile "Manny, I wanted to talk to-" she cut her off saying quietly "Em, not now ok? I'm not feeling too good." Emma had been about to apologize to Manny about everything the past year and how messed up things had been between them especially recently. But, having been greeted by her tearful friend earlier the previous day, and knowing all too well what heartache felt like, Emma decided that maybe she'd talk to her later. "Ok Manny. Are you...I mean can I do anything?" "Just leave me alone, Em, ok?" Manny said, leaning her head further into her knees. Emma just shook her head, thought, I hope she'll be alright and walked carefully away from her friend, since she wasn't sure what else to do.

Scene Change: Outside of Degrassi

On her way down the school steps, Emma received a call from her mom. She asked her to help her later on at some going-away party at the salon that evening at around "8-ish". Emma had gladly said yes, seeing this as the opportunity she needed to speak with her mom and apologize.

Feeling pretty good about her life, once again Emma decided to go for a walk and she strode down the steps. She wasn't sure what she was going to do about Manny and she'd already decided not to talk to Peter until the next day, seeing as how he'd been pretending that she was nonexistent every time he'd seen her.

Too much to think about, Emma decided finally and walked down the sidewalk with her face towards the sky, with a partially happy and partially nervous air about her. It wasn't enough that Emma was already scared about what would happen, if anything, with she and Sean, now she was worried about her best friend, and her parents and her ex, and-even for Emma-that was a bit too much to focus on all at once. So, Emma put her mind to work to go completely blank and ignored all else around her.

Emma hadn't gotten far, and her mind hadn't gotten too clear, when she heard a loud car horn honk by the side of her. Emma paused with a puzzling look on her face before she turned around and saw Sean stepping out of his car and sauntering towards her with a silly smile on his face. "Lunch time, a good time for a walk?" he asked "As good a time as any," Emma said and then sighed a little nervously as she remembered she and Sean's "walk" the previous night.

"Well, uh..." Sean began looking back at his car, and then back at Emma hopefully, "You think...I mean, you wanna, ride with me?...instead?" . Emma paused for a moment before answering. The last time she'd avoided Sean it hadn't gone too well and although she'd had a pretty good morning as far as her emotions were going, she still wasn't sure that anything involving Sean Cameron, would be a safe bet.

She finally relented succumbing to Sean's eager blue eyes and her weakness for them. "Ok," she said with a smile and followed him back to his car.

Once they'd both gotten in and buckled up, there it was. The Awkward Moment. It was expected. It was anticipated but, it was still no less awkward.

The strangest thing about their talk the previous night was that although it should have cleared up everything, it cleared up very little for the two of them as far as how their feelings for one another would be taken. Sean was uneasy because he had no idea how Emma felt about him and Emma felt the same; plus, the added uneasiness about Sean finding out about "The Jay Incident".

The 2 of them were silent at first. After having had miniature meltdowns the previous night it was kinda hard for them to just go back to the way things were...-weren't...? wshatever!- and pretend that nothing had happened. The funny thing-or maybe the sad thing-about it was, that during their rocky relationship, Sean and Emma had gotten so good at this let's-just-avoid-what-we're-really-feeling thing, that the silence? At least this expected silence, didn't really bother either 1 of them.

Emma had a lot on her mind. She felt so close to Sean now, but still-thanks to talking to Peter and being forced to confront the fact that she was in denial of her denial about her feelings for Sean, and thinking about what happened with Jay?-so far away...

Sean felt the same, but, for different reasons of course...Sean had always felt that Emma was so close to him, that somehow he'd damage her just by being close to her. After everything she'd told him about, he felt that his theory was proven, and now, he searched his mind and heart for a way to make things better.

"So..." Sean said finally as he glided up to the street "What have...what have you been up to?" This seemed like such an out-of-place statement; something a guy who hadn't just spent the night hugging his sobbing ex would say, but nonetheless, it was the only thing that Sean could think of saying that didn't have some kind of emotional backlash attached to it.

Since Emma also had no desire for an emotional breakdown right about now, she actually appreciated Sean's sorry attempt at breaking the silence and said "Just been, you know, keeping busy." "How's the environmental club going?" Sean asked, interestedly. He'd never forgotten Emma's passions and he was subconsciously trying to let her to know it.

"It's going..." Emma said smiling "It's good. For a while, I hadn't been too into it, I kinda...took a break I guess. But lately, I don't know. I've just been...tryna...keep busy." "Same old Emma," Sean said with a laugh "Always out to save the world, right?" "Maybe not the whole world;" Emma said with a small laugh "Maybe just Toronto...for now."

And myself, she thought painfully.

There was another awkward pause before Emma stated "What about you Sean? What have you been up to? I mean, this car for instance. It's looks really nice..."

"Well," Sean said, "I had a lot of time on my hands in Wasaga, you know? Especially in the summer, so I'd fix cars. First, just my dad's drinking buddies; didn't pay too good , but, money was still money."

"Still though, after a few paint jobs, and a couple of fixed fender benders, word got around, you know? And next thing I knew, I was up to my elbows in cars, and money, and I bought this piece of junk off of one of the customers. It's ok, I guess and it only cost 350."

"Wow! Sean Cameron...Entrepreneur." Emma said with a laugh, spreading out her hands demonstratively in the air as she said the word "Entrepreneur" "I know," Sean said smiling, "Who would've thought, right...?" he said shaking his head as he turned the car on some corner or other. "I would've." Emma said seriously, unknowingly triggering another awkward silence.

"I always...I mean I'm not surprised is all." Emma stuttered and Sean smiled. Looking at her out of the corner of his eye he thought, I love her.

"Thanks Emma" he said heartfelt and then he ventured toward an emotional statement saying "That really helped me out in Wasaga, you know? Knowing that someone back here might actually think I was still worth something?" Emma blushed, she hadn't intended her words to have this affect, or maybe she just didn't want them to, either way, she nodded saying coolly "Sean, you don't have to thank me. What are friends for?"

Sean ignored Emma's last 3 words and the emphasize she'd put on "friends" and went on, "It's just I - well, I thought about us a lot in Wasaga." "So did I..." Emma said forgetting to pretend she didn't care about Sean like "that".

Sean had circled Degrassi and was now parked in a space in front of the school. He turned to look at Emma saying "Emma? I just gotta tell ya' you really saved my ass in school, ya know? If it weren't for you, I'd probably- I mean I know I'd have failed, So, thanks...for that..."

Seans eyes were filling with tears and Emma turned away from him staring out her window "You helped me too, Sean." Emma said quietly, not daring to look at Sean's face. "I mean, you were one of my best friends. And, besides, I mean you bring back a lot of memories for me, Sean. A lot of good memories. First...boyfriend, first...kiss, first date?

Sean's eyes were dry again now and he laughed to himself as he thought about it "I guess so..."

"They aren't exactly "Kodak" moments though...""Sean! How can you say that?" Emma said, turning and facing him now and glad to have a light-hearted topic to discuss. "That kiss was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me." Sean stared at her raising his eyebrows with a teasing smile spreading across his lips "At...at the time, anyways." Emma said, blushing and hating herself for making such an atrociously embarrassing statement.

Sean just shrugged "Maybe. But I was thinking more along the lines our first date?" "Oh My God!" Emma said with a laugh "That was the worst first date ever, in the history of first dates. I mean, I still can not believe how dopey I was!" "Yeah," Sean said laughing and then mocking a 12 year old Emma's voice saying "Verbal diarrhea!" "Life shattering! But bird diarrhea...?" Emma said thinking of the memory of the bird that had crapped on her jacket, when she and Sean were just a few steps away from the door.

"Don't remind me." Sean groaned, leaning his head back against his seat "I know! But that was really sweet of you, you know? Waiting for me to change." "No biggie," Sean said shrugging "Besides, you bought me dinner, remember?" Sean said with a smile "Well, that was the least I could do." "No," Sean said smiling, menacingly "The least you could do was to wipe that glob of ketchup off your chin!" "Ah!" Emma said wide eyed at Sean's laughing face "You should talk! I almost lost my lunch thanks to your vivid description of murdered cows! Yeck!"

"Ok," Sean said his laughter dying down "Ok, that's true, but what about this? "I lost my wallet Sean, can you please please root the garbage, messing up your favorite jacket to get it?" "That's so, not fair!" Emma said in a whiny voice whencing at the embarrassing memory. "I was mort-ti-fied when I realized I'd had it in my jacket pocket the whole time." "I figured that out; you sure took off running fast enough." Emma shrugged and said, not really thinking about it "Well, not sure if you got the memo Sean, but back then I was crushing pretty hard on you; you sorta did that to me." Sean smiled and Emma could've died having said that.

"I know, I mean, I'd thought you were but after trying to break my bones in dodgeball..." "Ok Sean," Emma said smiling again at the now comical recollection, "I shouldn't have, I admit, but the way you asked me out? "It's Friday!"? absolutely nerve-wrecking!" Sean laughed and nodded "Alright, alright but what can I say? I mean I was nervous; back then you did that to me too Em."

Again with the silence and the 2…friends? Yes, friends, Emma had decided with a nod, both of them tried to fill their minds with things besides the emotional mess that surrounded them.

"So….Do you wanna go-somewhere? Eat…lunch?" Sean said shaking himself from the depressing thoughts that reminiscing he and Emma's better days had suddenly brought him too. Emma shook her head "For 1, lunch time is pretty much over, but besides that I'm not really hungry." "Good," Sean said sounding relieved "Neither am I."

The uneasy transition from topic to topic found them once again and Sean and Emma sat silently again, waiting for another strand of inspiring conversation to reach the two of them.

One of the reasons that it was so hard for Sean Cameron and Emma Nelson to just talk-aside from the obvious hidden feelings-was that the two of them? They had never been just friends. The closest they'd come had been a short while before they'd started dating and even then the-well, we'll just call it "crushual"-tension between the two had been liable to erupt at any given moment so it was kinda hard for them to just be friends.

Other than that, Sean and Emma had either been knee-deep in their relationship with each other, or avoiding one another completely, pretend-hatred in steady supply.

Another reason that it was so painfully difficult for the 2 of them to just interact was because even though they'd "known"-as in been around each other, at least-each other for about 4 yrs, the 2 years that they hadn't been together had formed a large gap in-between their good intentions and their unspoken feelings, and to no definite extent, Sean and Emma felt almost like complete strangers, grasping at the hope that that same passionately intense feeling-love-that same feeling that may've died down a little but never completely disappeared, was still there or even had been there to begin with, patiently waiting for a chance to be released.

In his mind, Sean had been working up the nerve to ask Emma a question; when he'd finally worked up the nerve to and had opened his mouth to speak Emma cut him off saying "Sean…? Ellie? You said you spoke to her before, right…?" "Yeah, uh, yesterday…" he said looking at her seriously, wondering what Emma was thinking "What about her?" "I was just wondering…" Emma began timidly "I mean, she's sorta going through it-she's got this thing for Craig and all and Manny and her-it's like, Drama Central, you don't even wanna know." "Thanks for catching that." "Anyway," Emma said rolling her eyes at Sean, before her serious look returned, "I'm not really sure but were you…planning on…?" "Yeah, I was gonna go see her again. Tryta make things a little better between us." Emma smiled glad that Sean had understood her meaning before she had to say it.

"Oh, ok," Emma said and Sean stared at her for a moment then shrugged a little uneasily "I hope you guys know that I feel like shit for leaving." He said with restrained pain. "And Ellie? I mean, I really did care about her." "I know Sean," Emma said, "But, leaving? It was just…it was something you had to do…for you." Emma said, speaking the same words she'd used to drug herself with daily over the past year but this time was the 1st time that she actually felt they were true. "And I think…I think…Ellie will understand she said with a smile.

Sean smiled at her but his eyes were focused on her eyes?...Nose?...Smile…? Lips. His eyes were focused on her lips and before either of them gave in to that unbelievably desperate urge to kiss, Emma managed to turn away, staring disdainfully into the windshield.

Sean stared at Emma's blonde heard and sighed. He was working hard to try and control his urge to kiss her. Now that he was speaking to Emma? Whom he thought might be a completely different person by now, he could feel and see that she was the same, understanding what he felt about Ellie, telling him what he wanted so badly to be true and doing it effortlessly.

To Sean, Emma was the same angel she'd been since the last time he'd seen her, driving away with that wistful look in her eyes as he stood there crying.

Sean turned back towards the steering wheel and calmly remembered what they'd been talking about.

"So," he said clearing his throat a little, "I was thinking of uh, getting her something; Ellie I mean." Emma nodded, "That's sweet, Sean." Emma said softly although she felt like crying and had to blink rapidly before turning to face him again. Why did it always have to be so hard to talk to Sean without crying?

Refusing to acknowledge or even think about the reason, Emma turned back towards Sean asking, "What were you thinking?" Sean shook his head with a confused sigh "I don't know…I mean when we were going out she liked uh,…." And Sean said blinking, almost as though there was nothing more to Ellie, "black."

Emma laughed "Sean? I don't know Ellie that well, but I'm pretty sure she'll want something a little more…" Emma paused here before realizing that she had no choice but to finish her sentence the same way Sean had. "….black, I guess." Sean grinned at her and they both laughed a little.

"But, what?" Sean said, looking a little too baffle Emma thought and she could tell that he wanted this gift to mean a lot. Not too much she hoped but said "Sean? if you wanna make a girl…-I mean, if you wanna make things right, with her, you get her jewelry." Sean nodded and a smile eased onto his face at the memory of how happy Ellie had been when he'd gotten her an ebony bracelet-at least, that's what Jay's girlfriend Alex had claimed it was-for her birthday.

"Ok," Sean said nodding at Emma "A black bracelet." Emma stared at Sean with a blank expression confusing him "What! "A black bracelet?" she said as though this were absolutely ridiculous. "What, then…? A black…necklace?" Emma smiled at Seans-Cute-baffled expression, and after staring at up at the roof of the car thoughtfully she said, slowly "Green." remembering Ellie's striking Eye color. "A green jewelry set." "A jewelry set?" Sean said looking even more confused "Where would I get one of those?" Emma gave Sean another blank look but just sighed as she shook her head, "The mall Sean."

"Ok," Sean said leaning his head back against the seat "But, if she doesn't like it, I'm telling her that it was your idea!" "I don't care." Emma said, smiling as she recalled her earlier conversation with Ellie and the thought that Ellie wasn't so bad and she hoped that Ellie would forgive her beloved Sean.

Sean noticed the odd expression in Emma's face and said curiously "Are you two friends now or something?" "Hmmm? Oh or something, I just-we talked earlier." Emma said studying the glove box, so as not to reveal in her eyes that Sean had been the topic of their conversation.

"Oh…" Sean said noticing that air of don't-even-go-there, on Emma's face. Then, with a hint of shame in his voice, Sean asked quietly "Do you know if she uh, if she still lives… where she lived?" The shame was for leaving Ellie with rent that she couldn't handle and Emma knew and noted this but ignored it saying with another thoughtful look "Yeah, I think so," as she remembered the many times that she and Manny had driven past Ellie's apartment and Manny had stared in that direction angrily. "Well, I guess I'll go see her then, tomorrow, I mean, after I get…the thing."

Emma just nodded and her eyes landed on the watch on Sean's arm "Oh! Sean? Lunch is over in like five minutes. I guess I gotta head back." She said, turning towards the car door about to let herself out "Thanks for the ride Sean, it was good talking to you." And then she said deciding that it was ok to bring up since she was about to leave "And uh, thanks for last night too."

"Wait! Emma," Sean said having worked back up the nerve to say what he'd been going to when Emma interrupted him to ask about Ellie. Emma turned towards him not sure what to expect seeing Sean's serious expressed. But she breathed a sigh of relief as his look of seriousness faded into an easy smile "What Sean?" She asked with playful annoyance. "Uh," Sean said "So…It's uh, Monday." Emma just stared at Sean bewildered "Yeah, Sean…I noticed." She stated slowly and sarcastically. "Um, do you…do you have any plans?" Sean questioned shaking his head as he spoke with what seemed to be nervous earnest. Although his eyes sparkled with a cool confidence.

Emma paused dumbfounded, and then all at once she realized what he was doing. He was reacting the way he'd asked her out on their first date and she wasn't sure if he was serious or joking but she said slowly, "You wanna go out…? Like on a date?" she wanted so badly for him to say yes, but she also wanted him to say no, if that was possible. It wasn't like she had a boyfriend anymore…but then again, she wasn't sure if she could deal with going out with Sean.

Sean's confidence fell as he said realizing the worried look on Emma's face. "Uh, yeah, but just as a joke you know? Since our first first date sucked so bad, maybe we could go on another?" Emma's easy smile returned as she said matter-of-factly "Sean? You can only have a first date once; you know, like, the first time?" Sean's facial expression changed to a pained discomfort as he said matter-of-factly "Not really, not if you…if you don't know each other anymore." And his words caused them both sharp pains in their chests as they were spoken.

Emma was lost. She wanted so badly to say yes, but at this moment her mind chose to recollect Peter…his words, the effect they'd had and she said, once again denying her denial of her denial and throwing up the only shield she could think of against Sean "I-I have a boyfriend, Sean." She lied, and Sean whenced hearing the words as though they'd staked him through the heart "Oh. I think you…yeah, you said that the other night." Sean said recalling her words "A boyfriend who doesn't even know me!" maybe tht phrase was part of the reason he thought he'd be okay to ask, but now he silently admonished himself inside for daring to ask the dumb question to begin with.

"Never mind, I mean, I shouldna asked, it was just a joke." He said his face changing to a painfully disappointed smile. Inside Sean was forcing down his anger and sadness, saving it to be realized in some dark lonely part of his night.

Emma almost broke down again. She would've given anything to have the courage to just…just tell him the God-Damn truth. She hated herself for wimping out after she'd been so self-assured, so empowered earlier, dealing with everything, the way like she used to.

Combining this with the fact that she didn't wanna hurt Sean, Emma managed to stammer out "No, Sean, I mean that's not what I mean. I think it's sweet; going on a second first date." She said faking stability at the thought of going out with Sean again. Sean managed a half-hearted smile which died down quickly "But what about your…?" "We sorta, well, we're kinda broken up?" "'Sorta'?" "We're broken up.' Emma said nodding decidedly.

"O,h" Sean said staring down at the steering wheel "Are you…are you ok?" "Me?" Emma said forgetting to fake sadness, "I'm fine." "Yeah?" Sean said a little of his earlier confidence returning. If Emma had broken up with the guy, well that would speak volumes about…them and he waited breathlessly for her to say it.

Instead, Emma just stared off ahead of her saying in an eerily breathless voice, the voice that she planned to use whenever any asked her about what had happened with Peter "We were never really…right for each other, anyway." And somewhere in this sentence, whether it was a quick look in her eyes, or a twitch in her lips, Sean found what he needed to help himself get through the rest of his day. What he'd come here to get, what he'd prayed for; hope.

"So…" Sean said testing his luck "Does that mean you're…free tonight?" "I guess I-" Emma started, before stopping midsentence with a gasp "Oh my God, Sean! I totally forgot, The dance!" "Dance?" Sean said, puzzled "Yeah, I totally forgot! it's tonight. It's the back-to-school dance. I was supposed to be helping. I was on the dance committee with Manny and P-" Emma stopped looking into Sean's anxious eyes "Well…I was supposed to be helping." She finished quietly. Sean's face lit up "Supposed to be? Meaning blowing it off to go ou-…hang out with me?" he said.

Emma shook her head and Sean's confidence dropped a little, "No," then she added quickly, "I mean, I would, but my mom called earlier. They're having a going-away party at the salon and a few of her coworkers are gonna be no-shows. She asked me to stop by and help." "Oh," Sean said this time forgetting to hide his disappointment with macho bravado, and ending up looking like a wounded puppy.

"But," Emma said tapping his shoulder-before removing it quickly when the "it"-feeling surged through her fingers, again- "Any other day this week? I'm yours." Emma hadn't meant for it to come out this way and she blushed stammering "I-I mean…"

"Friday," Sean said, fully aware that he was stopping her from correcting her statement. "Ok," Emma said smiling "it's a date." "A first date," Sean added looking uncommonly goofy "Right. A first date, Friday." Emma said and she opened the car door stepping out into the sun finally; late for class but feeling too light to care…

Sean drove away, smiling, and feeling the same.

Scene change: Media Immersion class

Emma slid into her seat and glanced over at Manny. She looked happier, was talking to Toby about something with a smile and so Emma Imed her, not really considering the fact that her news would only hurt Manny; too overwhelmed by her own happiness to really think about it.

Emma: Manuela, what's up?

Manny: Um, nothing much, you?

Emma: You'll never guess who I just spent lunch with!

Manny: Peter? Jay?'

Emma :( Ppluh-lease! Guess again!"

Manny:…I don't know…Sean, maybe?

Emma: Yes! and you'll never believe what happened…

Manny: You guys ate…?

Emma: Talked and he asked me out…

Manny: He did?

Emma: Yes! it was sooooo cute! he was like "It's Monday"! and he did the whole little first date convo again and he asked me to go out with him tonight

She was about to tell Manny that she'd told him no, that she had to go help her mom instead, but before Emma could get any further, Snake leaned over Emma's shoulder "Interesting." He said staring at the screen and Emma jumped a little before sending the unfinished message and then quickly closing the small window. "Sorry…" She said with a smile. Snake noticed that her smile actually looked real, relaxed, and calm and he smiled himself. "It's ok…" he said "But let's get back to work, ok…?"

After about 30 minutes, Manny stood up and walked over to Emma, "Em, I'm going ok?" "Going?" Emma said puzzled "Why…?" Manny rolled her eyes "I have an audition today, remember? That new movie 2 girls and a guy, I'm auditioning for it? Em, I practically talked you to death about it, Sunday." "Oh, oh yeah…" Emma said, not really remembering but saying, "Ok."

Manny gave Emma a disgusted look which Emma didn't notice before turning to walk away. "Manny, wait," Emma said calling her back before she could leave. Manny turned towards her "Look, were you still planning on going to the dance tonight…? I mean, you were in charge of decorations and all…" Manny's eyes rolled around a little as she thought about it. She would much rather go to the dance then sit home and sob about Craig. Besides, she thought, she'd probably feel much better after having had her audition.

"Yeah, I guess so." She said finally "Why..?" Emma turned digging in her bag "I'm not going, I mean obviously, right?" She said with a smile and forgetting that she hadn't told Manny about going to help out at the salon. "But, can you give this to Liberty? It's a list of the people I talked to about, the music, the food, the balloons; you know? Just in case anything goes wrong."

Manny looked at Emma, her bright smile, her sheer happiness at the thought of dating Sean again. Her love, Manny thought and then she shook herself away from the depressingly jealous thoughts, saying with a faked smile "Like, anything really could go wrong with you on the case." And took the note walking out the classroom to get her note.

Scene Change: Around 8 o clock Emma's House

Manny lay on the couch in the darkened house, all alone. She'd gotten back shortly after her audition-which didn't go well-and she was slowly and surely churning with bitter hatred towards all mankind.

Snake was out with friends and Spike had taken Jack with her to the salon. Emma was… Out on her date with Sean, Manny figured, since that was all Emma had told her about. Slowly and surely the anger and jealousy began to bubble up inside of Manny. Craig had gone after Ellie, and now she was all alone. He hadn't called her all day and she felt so betrayed. Manny already couldn't believe that Emma would write her about a date with her, Manny had realized, true love, while she was left alone mourning the loss of hers to that... red-headed bitch, And now, she was taking every ounce of hatred that she had left out on that Blonde-headed bitch, as well.

Manny turned over on her side and faced the couch pillows. She debated suffocating herself with them, although it was only a passing thought since she didn't really have the strength to kill herself. Manny Santos had been through break-ups before and even though they'd hurt this one was especially painful, because this was the first time she hadn't been the one to break it off with the guy.

The tears were just beginning to soak the sofa when Manny's thoughts were interrupted by the very unwelcome sound of the doorbell. Manny rolled over and stared in the direction of the door. Even though she didn't feel like answering it, it was a welcome departure from the thoughts that had been on her mind, and so she got up wiping her eyes with her hands and walked up to the door.

After pausing for a moment and drawing in a quick breath Manny opened the door and stared at the back that was turning to walk away. "Hey!" Manny said and the back turned around revealing Peter with a box in his hands. "Hi Manny," Peter said in tired voice. "I was about to go, I figured noone was home." "I'm here." Manny said faking a smile and then looking at the box in Peter's hands she said, "What is that?" "Oh," Peter said looking down at the box as though he'd forgotten he was holding it. "It's…Emma's stuff. I was gonna call, but I was walking by here anyway and so I figured I'd just drop it off instead."

Manny just shook her head at the forlorn looking boy. He obviously hadn't been "walking by here", she decided, feeling sorry for him wanting to see Emma, and then asked "Um, did Emma know? That you were bringing it by?" "I don't know…I, I guess." Manny stepped aside and Peter walked in "Hold on." Manny said taking the box and leaving Peter in the living room "I'm gonna go see if she maybe has your…stuff, in a box or something."

Walking down the steps Manny placed the box next to her bed and then turned to see if Emma had anything in a box. She didn't, and being that Manny had no idea where all of Peter's stuff was, and she felt particularly reluctant to look in Emma's drawers fearing that she might find anything to make her even more jealous or angry at Emma, she simply walked back up the stairs to tell Peter.

Peter was standing and staring at the couch when Manny came back and she flicked on the lights as she walked in. "I didn't see anything…" she began and then stopped when she noticed the weird look that Peter was giving her. "What…?" she asked crossing her arms; she was in no mood for Peter's wry comments or remarks. "Have you…have you been crying?" Peter asked her slowly and Manny just stared at him as though she had no idea what he was talking about. "No," Manny said shaking her head quickly "No, I-I haven't." Peter smiled, "You know, for an actress, you sure have a lot of trouble lying." He said and he stepped towards her moving his hand up toward her cheek. Manny stepped back before he could touch her and smoothed her hand down her own cheek, then glanced at her mascara covered fingers and felt very stupid.

"I guess the mascara told on me, huh?" She said quietly "Not exactly," Peter said pointing to the couch "When I sat down I figured you musta either peed on it, or been crying. I wasn't sure which, but I liked to think you'd been crying." Peter said shrugging. Manny smiled at the comment only for a second before her eyes filled with tears remembering why she'd been crying and for how long.

Manny sat down on the couch and put her hands over her face shaking her head and saying "I messed up, Peter." Peter sat down next to her, rubbing her shoulders "It's okay Manny, I'm sure it'll be." "No it won't." "Yes it will," "Shut-up Peter! You don't know!" She said finally and pushed his hands off of her.

Manny stood up ashamed that she'd been crying and taking her anger out on Peter, "I couldn't find your stuff; I'm sure Emma will give it to you later." Peter stood up too and this time his eyes started to fill with tears. Manny felt herself breaking and she was sorry to have gone off on him knowing that he was currently broken-hearted too. "I'm sorry Peter." "No, it's cool." Peter said straightening himself up a little and forcing the tears back into his eyes. "It's just tonight is the…the school dance and me and Emma were supposed to be going together. It was gonna be our "first official" dance together." Manny sighed at Peter's words "Oh," "Yeah, I was just thinking about it. I mean, that she probably went there, with…him." Peter said.

For a second, Manny was confused. Emma hadn't told her that Peter thought that she was breaking up with him for Sean, so Manny had just assumed that he'd gotten tired of her depressing attitude or something like that.

"With who?" Manny asked, "With Sean? The Holier than All Ex?" Slowly it registered and Manny shook her head a little "Oh…I mean, I don't think they went to the dance Peter." She said, before realizing the affect that her words would have on him. "What do you mean?"

Manny spoke slowly now and glanced around the floor. She knew that Emma "moving on" so quickly would hurt Peter, and she hadn't meant to say it that way, but she also knew she was missing something, and wanted to find out what. "I-I mean, Emma did say that they were going out, just-not to the dance…" Peter's face slowly changed from hurt to downright depressed and he dropped to the couch saying painfully "I knew it."

Manny was still confused and she sat down next to him, "Knew what Peter?" "I knew that she was breaking up with me to be with him. She lied and said she wasn't, and I guess I wanted to believe her but now…I know." A few tears rolled down Peter's cheeks although his face remained unmoved and Manny leaned onto his shoulder rubbing his arm. "I'm sorry, Peter." Manny said soothingly "I didn't…I didn't know." Manny's own eyes filled with tears as she began to remember everything about Emma and Sean that she was jealous of. And everything about Craig that she could never again touch.

Peter slowly turned towards Manny and their lips met as they both found comfort in the other's kiss before realizing what was happening. "Peter! Stop…!" Manny said pushing away from him "Stop! You kissed me." Peter said looking slightly offended. And then after staring down at Manny's hands which were pushed against his chest, he pushed them off of him.

Manny's cheeks began to burn as she stared shamefully in front of her, though she wasn't sure why. She and Craig were broken up so why should she feel bad about hooking up with Peter? He's Emma boyfrien- she thought, before reasoning that No, Peter wasn't Emma's boyfriend. Emma was in love with Sean and Emma was with Sean right now, and Craig was with Ellie, while Manny was sitting here all alone and in pain.

Turning to face Peter again her eyes full of anger Manny kissed him again full on the lips and this time she pulled him back on top of her whispering in his ear "Do you have, anything?" meaning, of course, did he have any condoms.

As soon as Manny had said it she realized that this wasn't something she wanted to do. This was the reason that she felt so down on herself as it was, always using sex to cover pain. Always using it to control Craig and it hadn't worked and now here she was again, letting her emotions take control of her, jealous of Emma and Sean and angry as hell at Craig.

Just as Manny was about to push Peter off of her saying "No, I can't!" She noticed a look of surprise on Peter's face as he stared ahead of him in the direction of the door. Manny tilted her own head back and she saw Craig standing there, watching her…

Manny pushed Peter off of her and jumped up rushing towards Craig's side, "Craig! What are you-" "I was coming to see you," Craig said listlessly, his eyes never moving off of Peter "I was busy with the…with the record company all day trying to buy some more time to spend with you." As Craig spoke, Manny suddenly-why hadn't she thought of that earlier!-remembered that Craig was supposed to be going back to Vancouver today, something she'd absolutely forgotten in the midst of her jealous anger.

"And that's why you didn't…call me?" Manny said, the realization seeping into her like slow and painful poison, and tears rushed to her eyes as she stepped towards Craig saying "Craig? I thought you-I mean-I can explain." But Craig was shaking his head, tears rushing to his wide brown eyes…"Don't even bother, Manny." He said, his mouth gaping continuously even after he finished the sentence, something that his mouth always did when he was trying to hold back emotions from his voice.

As he spoke he backed away to the opened door and Manny didn't have the heart to take any more steps knowing that Craig would never forgive her. "Don't even bother!" Craig said and he rushed out the door leaving Manny to fall to the floor crying.

"Manny…?" Peter said walking over to Manny's side and kneeling beside her "I think you should leave, Peter." Manny said calmly "Manny, just…" "Leave!" Manny screamed at Peter, and Peter stood up looking really messed up, and walked out the door.

Scene Change: The Salon

Emma sat in the corner of her mother's salon with Jack in her lap and a wide smile on her face. Everything, well, not everything, but a lot of things had gone well for her today. She'd finally spoken to Ellie and Chris and she was scheduled to hang out with Sean on Friday.

She'd apologized to her dad after school and apologized to her mother for all of her snappy and cold behavior and even told her about her date with Sean on the drive over to the salon. Her mother had literally broken down in tears and they'd hugged for about 2 minutes as her mother had said "I just wanted you to be ok," over and over in Emma's ear "I am, Mom." Emma'd said softly, tears surfacing in her own eyes at the thought of how much pain she'd put her mother through with her distant demeanor.

But now, all was right with the world and Emma watched her mother talking happily to her coworkers, looking at Emma and beaming every now and then and Emma beamed back at her.

Frankly, this was Emma's best day in a long while and she savored it, throwing every bit of happiness that she could muster into her smile and laugh as she watched the ladies dancing around and singing with one another.

For a moment, Emma's smile disappeared as she thought about the fact that she still hadn't apologized to the two people she'd probably hurt the most: Manny and Peter. But, her smile returned as she kissed Jack on the cheek and thought, I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to them, tomorrow, I swear.