Chapter 2 - You're What?
A short redhead with the long ponytail stood alone in the lobby of the small office building staring at the directory. Ranma had started letting his hair grow in college. It was cheaper than haircuts and longer hair seemed to increase his chances of getting good part-time work as a girl. Akane liked him with long hair, so he had kept the ponytail all these years and now it was as much his trademark as the pigtail had been in high school.
She read the same line on the directory for the 23rd time, "Reproductive Services ... Suite 101", even though she already knew where it was. After all, she had been here once before to make the 'deposit'. That had been the easy part, a little embarrassing maybe, but at least he had been in control of the situation.
Not like now, once she walked into that clinic she would have to submissively let things be done to her, let something be put into her body. It didn't really matter that it had come from Ranma himself in the first place, it was how it was going to get there that bothered her now. And if everything went well she would leave with something truly amazing inside of her. Something -- no, someone that would grow within temple Ranma for the next nine months.
The door to the street opened and Akane rushed in followed by a blast of hot air. She spotted Ranma and shook her head. Walking up to the redhead she said, "What are you doing out here? They're waiting for you inside."
"I was just checking which floor it's on."
"It's right behind you on this floor," Akane sighed, "What's wrong with you?"
Ranma turned around to face her wife. "Maybe we shouldn't do this today. We wouldn't want to waste an attempt when I might not even be ready."
Akane reached into her purse and fished out the little handheld fertility meter that Ranma had been using every time she went to the bathroom. Akane held it up so that Ranma could see the display, "Do you see what this says? It says '96' and that means that for the next four hours you have a ninety six percent chance of becoming pregnant, but if you stand out here all day we really will waste this opportunity."
"But shouldn't we wait until it says 100?"
"It'll never read 100, Ranma. They told us anything over 85 was excellent."
"Well, maybe they're too busy to take us today. We should have called ahead."
"The meter has a built in cell phone, it called the clinic as soon as the test result was displayed. They're in there waiting for you right now," Akane's tone became pleading "Ranma, what's wrong? We've been waiting six months for this!"
"That's just it," Ranma said wide eyed, "you said I'd only be stuck like this for twelve months. It's been six already."
"When we started we didn't know it would take you five months to have your first period," Akane said while nervously checking her watch.
"That's another thing," she was beginning to sound desperate, "You never said anything about me having to go through that! It was disgusting."
"Well if you don't want to go through it again in a couple of days, get your butt in there and get pregnant. That's the only surefire way to avoid it."
"But... but... Akane, I'm..." Ranma hung her head and in a whisper said, "I'm scared."
Akane stared fretfully at the little redhead. She didn't know whether to hug her or slug her. She opted for a little tough love instead, "I never thought I'd live to see the day that Ranma Saotome would back down from a martial arts challenge just because she was scared."
"Challenge?" Ranma's head came up, "What challenge?"
"Why the Martial Arts Motherhood Challenge of course. The first man cursed to live half his life as a woman that gives birth to a healthy baby girl wins. Our contestant today is none other than legendary Anything Goes master Ranma Saotome who for some reason seems reluctant to join in the competition."
"Now you're just being silly," Ranma said with hint of a smile, "as if something foolish like that would actually motivate me, really Akane," she straighten her shoulders and faced the door to the fertility clinic, "give me a little credit for being an adult," she crossed the lobby and grasped the door handle, then she looked over her shoulder, "Martial Arts Motherhood Challenge. I'll bet you've been saving that one for months, haven't you?"
As Ranma charged through the door into the clinic Akane whispered cheerfully to herself, "Yeah, but it worked didn't it?"
o o o
Akane had been sitting in the waiting room reading a romance novel for about an hour when a nurse with a clipboard approached her.
"You're with Mrs. Saotome, aren't you?" the girl asked with some urgency.
Akane looked up from her book and nodded, "Yes, I'm her... um... well we're related by marriage."
"We were wondering if you might come in the back and sit with Mrs. Saotome for a while," the nurse said with a desperate look, "We finished the procedure some time ago, but we're having a little trouble getting her to lie still in bed."
"Sure," Akane said as she closed her book and stood up, "Is there some problem?"
"Oh no, it's just part of the standard practice, but Mrs. Saotome is... well, a little agitated."
"I'll bet she is," Akane said with a grin. She followed the nurse through a few doors until they arrived at a small nicely decorated room. Except for the hospital bed and the bank of monitors above it, the room looked more like what you'd see in someone's home than a hospital. Ranma was lying on the bed with her arms crossed insolently over her chest and a look of absolute boredom on her face.
"Good luck," said the nurse as she quickly shut the door behind Akane. Ranma must have been driving them nuts up to this point.
"Okay, what's the problem now?" Akane asked as she stood at the foot of the bed.
"Oh nothing," Ranma said grumpily, "just that the doctor told me it was all over an hour ago, but they still won't let me out of this bed! They also won't let me adjust this thing so I can get comfortable."
"They want you to lay here with your feet up so you'll have a better chance at becoming pregnant. Why don't you just watch some TV?" Akane said pointing at the large panel on the wall opposite the bed.
"I tried that, there's nothing on!" Ranma said as she picked up a sheet of paper from the bedside table and tossed it at Akane.
She snatched the sheet in midair and scanned it quickly. The problem was obvious. While there were nearly a hundred channels on the list, they all seemed to be daytime dramas, game shows and movies oriented towards women. She walked to the door and caught the attention of the nurse, "Excuse me, does your cable possibly include any sports channels?"
"Oh yes," the girl said, "Everything above channel 300 is sports. And if it will get her to stay in that bed, feel free to order some paid ones!"
Another hour passed and Akane was just getting to the juicy part of her novel. Ranma was happily using the remote to switch between two soccer games, an American style football game and a Japanese high school baseball tournament. Aside from the occasional energetic expression of pleasure or disappointment, she had remained calmly in place the whole time. Even when the nurses started coming in periodically for urine samples, she didn't complain.
The door opened and a middle-aged man in a white coat with a stethoscope around his neck walked in. He glanced at his clipboard and said, "Mrs. Saotome?"
Akane looked up from her book expecting Ranma to say something, but she ignored the doctor and continued to watch the TV screen.
The doctor coughed and repeated himself, "Um... Mrs. Saotome?"
Ranma looked over at Akane with a "well, answer the man" look on her face. Akane rolled her eyes and whispered tersely, "He's talking to you!"
"Huh," Ranma looked confused, then suddenly comprehension struck, "Uh... I'm Mrs. Saotome. Sorry doctor, you see we're both Mrs. Saotome so I didn't know which one you were talking to for a minute."
"Well, I'd like to speak with the one trying to become a mother today," the doctor said with a grin.
"Oh..." Ranma said, "I guess that would be me."
"Tell me Mrs. Saotome, did you bring your cell phone with you?"
"Um, yeah I guess so," Ranma looked over at Akane who nodded her head. Ranma still hadn't gotten into the habit of carrying her own purse.
"Well, then you might want to get it out and give your husband a call. You can tell him he's going to be a father."
Ranma's eyes got big and she stammered, "D-d-does t-that mean..."
The doctor smiled, "Yes, the last test was positive. You'll still need to come back in a couple of days for a blood test to confirm it, but we're reasonably certain right now that the procedure was successful and that you're pregnant."
Ranma stared at the man for several seconds. Then her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell against the pillows. Both the doctor and Akane rushed to the bed. As the doctor quickly took Ranma's pulse, Akane bent down and took Ranma's hand.
"I believe she's fainted," the doctor said.
"Don't worry doctor," Akane said looking up with a big grin and tears in her eyes, "he did the same thing when I told him I was pregnant."
o o o
Akane backed through the kitchen door with a plate in each hand and the phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear. As she set the plates down on the dining table she rolled her eyes and spoke into the phone, "Ranma, you did not get food poisoning from the lunch they served you. It's morning sickness again... It doesn't matter what time of day it is where you are now... Airline food is not as bad as my cooking! Wait a minute... Stop laughing! I didn't mean it that way... Yes... Yes, of course I did. There're two in your suitcase and another one in your carry-on... Okay, I love you too... Bye, bye."
"Sheesh!" she groaned taking the phone away from her face just long enough to punch the Flash button. "Kasumi, are you still there? Okay, hold on..." Akane walked to the hallway door and shouted, "Hideto! Maseto! Lunch is ready, wash your hands and get down here!"
Within seconds two miniature black haired, pigtailed copies of Ranma descended the stairs and raced for the table. "Halt!" Akane called out as they passed, "Hands!" The two six year olds marched back to her with both hands held in the air like war prisoners. Akane inspected all four hands closely for any signs of grime and finally pointed the boys towards their lunch, "Go eat." She patted each one playfully on the rear end and they went tearing across the living room.
Turning back to the phone, she said, "Sorry about that sis... Yeah, it was Ranma. She's driving me crazy... Well, she's been having morning sickness for the last two weeks and she won't believe me when I tell her what it is. She keeps blaming it on my cooking and now she wants to sue JAL... Oh, she's on her way to New York for a business meeting... No, she's going to tell them no more demos until the 'real' Ranma gets back from his training journey... Yes I know it's confusing, but how is he supposed to tell a bunch of American businessmen that he's taking time off to turn into a woman and have a baby."
"Mom!"
"What is it Hideto?"
"There's no mayo in my rice ball!" the little boy was holding up the oversized and oddly shaped rice ball with one bite taken out of it.
Akane walked over to the table with the phone still at her ear, "Well, of course there's no mayo in it honey. These are tuna rice balls... What's that Kasumi? ... Really, with tuna? That sounds like some disgusting thing I would have done before I took cooking lessons... Oh, I see... Hideto, just eat it the way it is and I'll make them again tomorrow with mayo in them. Maseto, is yours okay?"
The other twin looked up from his plate where only one out of the three original rice balls remained. With his mouth full of rice and tuna he said, "I like 'em better this way mom!" Which made Akane smile.
"Mommy never forgets to put in the mayo," Hideto said dejectedly.
"What did you say honey?" Akane asked with a surprised look.
"He means daddy, mom," Maseto said, "You're such a dork Hide!"
"Am not!" shouted the other twin, "Quit pickin' on me just 'cause you're older!"
"Quiet down, both of you!" Akane barked, "Just eat your lunch, okay?"
The twins knew better than to get their mother angry, so they hunkered down and started jamming food into their mouths in traditional Saotome fashion. Akane went back into the living room and sat down on the couch.
"Kasumi, you're the medical school graduate. Can you explain to me why identical twins aren't identical?" Akane laughed at the answer, "Mystery of science, huh. Here's another one for you. How does a man who once faced and defeated a demi-god in hand-to-hand combat become paranoid over a little bar of soap... Ranma's plane is only five hours out of Tokyo and she's already called me four times asking if I remembered to pack the waterproof soap... Sure I did. Three of them in fact and the bottle of liquid hand soap Shampoo sent us last month... Just four days..."
Akane pulled her feet up under her legs as she curled up on the couch, "She's also developing a hot water phobia. She wanted to cancel this whole trip until I looked up that the nearest hot spring was over a hundred miles from New York City. Then she didn't want to go because there wouldn't be an onsen nearby. I'm telling you sis, she's driving me nuts... I don't need a doctor to tell me that it's mood swings, I know what mood swings are like, what I need is someone to..."
Just then the twins went racing through the living room on their way back upstairs.
"Hold it right there you two! Where are you going?"
"We gotta finish our game, mom," said Maseto with a flushed face.
"Isn't your grandfather Saotome coming over after lunch?"
"Aw, but he always turns into a panda before we get to do anything fun," Hideto whined.
"Then he just makes us do katas all by ourselves," added Maseto.
"Well, maybe he wouldn't turn into a panda so quickly if somebody didn't have a water pistol hidden in his back pocket," Akane held out her hand and waited for each boy to surrender a weapon, "Now, go change into your gi's and wait for your grandfather out in the dojo."
"Yes, mom," they said in unison as they turned and marched off towards the bath.
"Sis, do you think other mothers have these problems? ... Yeah, I guess not..."
o o o
Ranma walked out into the main concourse of JFK airport pulling her suitcase and looking for her ride. Everything had gone smoothly as she cleared immigration and customs. She had Nabiki to thank for that too. Six years ago she had used some of Kuno's connections to acquire a passport for Ranma's female identity. She had done more than that really, Nodoka might not know it, but according to official government birth records she had a daughter five years younger than her son and they were both named Ranma.
Not for the first time she was struck by how big Americans really were. Waiting in line at customs she had mostly been with fellow passengers from her Tokyo flight, but now she was surrounded by hoards of people towering over her. It was bad enough when she was male, but her female form was tiny even by Japanese standards.
She began searching for her driver. Because of security they could no longer meet you at the gate, like they did in other parts of the world. In Tokyo all the drivers lined up in the same place, but here they always seemed to be scattered throughout the building. Ranma wandered around for several minutes and then spotted the food court. She shouldn't be hungry, they had served a light meal just before the plane landed, but she wanted something...
Five minutes later she walked away with a big bag from Nathan's. She had really wanted fried squid, but they just don't have things like that at JFK. So she compromised for chili-cheese dogs. She had never even had a hotdog before, but the picture on the menu just looked so good and the smell coming from the place had called out to her.
Now she was back on the prowl for her elusive driver. She found a group of them near one of the exits and as she stood there, trying to read the unfamiliar English names on the little signs they all held up, one of them stepped forward and asked, "Excuse me. Are you Ms. Saotome?"
Ranma looked at the card he was holding, it read, "Sowtomay". How was she supposed to read something like that? Couldn't people just cut and paste her name from the web site? She looked up at the big man and said in English, "Yes, Ranma Saotome. You driver?"
"Yes, ma'am," the man said smiling, "May I take your bags for you?"
Normally Ranma would just say no, hand the man her briefcase and head for the car, but she knew that American men expected to help women. They opened doors for you, waiters here held your chair, some men even stood up when you left the table. So she nodded and let the man take her bags, then followed him towards the doors. Ranma kept the bag of hotdogs however.
Once in the limo Ranma began wolfing down the sausages covered in spicy stewed ground beef and topped with an oddly liquid bright yellow cheese. They looked disgusting, but at the moment they were the most delicious things she had ever tasted.
The driver stared in wonder at the little redhead in his rearview mirror. It was like watching piranha devour a cow on the nature channel. Over his shoulder he asked, "Do you come to Manhattan often ma'am?"
Ranma stopped feeding just long enough to say, "One, two time every year."
"You must 'a really missed our hotdogs."
"Never have this before," Ranma said licking her fingers and reaching into the bag for a forth one, "This very good!"
"She's never had a chili-dog before and she buys a bag full?" the driver thought, "That's something my wife might do, but she's pregnant!" He shook his head and pulled the limo out into traffic.
o o o
Ranma stepped from the revolving door and stood in front of the hotel looking out at Lexington Avenue. She let the warm night air seep into her arms and legs, for some reason hotels always cooled their lobbies the way butchers refrigerated raw meat. With her petite frame Ranma's girl form was very susceptible to the cold, so the muggy heat of the city felt wonderful against her skin.
The doorman looked up from the curb and asked, "Cab for you Miss?"
Ranma walked down the steps to the sidewalk and shook her head, "No, thank you. I walk."
"Uh... I wouldn't recommend that Miss. This neighborhood's not so bad, but a young lady such as you really shouldn't be walking alone after dark. Let me get you a cab, I bet I can get you a nice Korean driver."
"No, thank you," Ranma repeated a bit tersely this time, "I am Japanese."
As she strode off towards Grand Central Station, the doorman shook his head, "Well ya should have said so in the first place," he laughed and turned to open the door of a cab that had just pulled up.
Ranma turned left on 48th street. The concierge in the hotel had told her there was a good Indian restaurant in the middle of the block. She really wanted curry for some reason and they didn't have any on the room service menu.
As she passed a small dark alleyway, she heard the sound of someone falling to the pavement. She peered into the gloomy alley and saw one man lying on the ground with another man standing over him holding a knife.
Ranma froze and for just a fleeting moment she didn't know what to do. Images of Akane, the boys and the little spirit girl flashed through her mind and she audibly sucked in air. The sound attracted the attention of the man wielding the knife and he looked up at Ranma. That freed her of the paralysis and she dropped into a fighting stance, but rather than attack she guardedly watched the man on the ground.
While the mugger was distracted he had quickly sat up and was now lifting himself off the ground on his fingertips. As Ranma watched he expertly flipped his feet under him and assumed a crouching stance. With good speed and fluid motion he extended one leg and rotated in a powerful sweeping kick that took the feet out from beneath the man holding the knife. Before he could hit the ground however the fighter had closed on him and was raining blows on the man's chest.
Ranma counted eighteen blows in the span of about two seconds, not bad but certainly below her own standards. The fighter finished off by kicking the knife from the man's hand and it skittered across the concrete, landing just in front of Ranma.
Letting the limp body of the mugger slump to the street the fighter turned and ran towards Ranma, grabbing her arm he shouted, "Come on! Let's get out of here," but seconds later he was crying out in pain with his face against the wall and his wrist between his shoulder blades.
"You wait here," Ranma said coldly, "Not move until I say so." She walked up the alley and checked the mugger. The man was unconscious, but breathing normally. Then she walked to where the knife had fallen, stepped on the blade and pulled up on the handle until it snapped. Finally she turned back to the man who had turned away from the wall and was massaging his wrist, "Nice form. Speed can be better. Not leave self open at end. Second attack may come from anyone."
The man turned cautiously towards Ranma, "Who do you think you... Oh my God!" Instantly the man came to attention, holding one fist forward he covered it with the palm of his other hand and bowed his head awkwardly, "Sensei!"
Ranma blinked and then noticed the insignia on the man's black polo shirt. It was the silhouette of a man caught in the middle of a flying kick and from his head a long pony tail swooped around to form the "A" in Anything Goes Martial Arts. Ranma should have guessed from the moves, this man was a student at one of her own schools.
In Japan, where practically every neighborhood had at least one dojo, Ranma was just another small fish in a very big pond. Because he had never competed formally, only a handful of elite martial artists even knew his name. But in America, where for the last five years his public relations and marketing staff had been flooding the martial arts world with pictures and posters of him in both genders, Ranma and his 'little sister' Ranko were practically superheroes.
Ranma returned the young man's salute and bowed, "What is your name?"
"Russell Vogel. I'm really sorry about grabbing you like that sensei. I had no idea..."
Ranma winced at the man's name, "Why did it have to be all r's and l's?" She took a deep breath and gave it a shot, "Is not your fault Ruseru-san," it was close anyway, "You and I go now."
Ranma turned back down the street to where the restaurant was supposed to be, but after walking a short distance she sensed the young man following her. She stopped and faced him again, "Ruseru-san, what you want?"
With a big grin on his face, Russell replied, "You said we were going somewhere sensei."
"No, I say you go now and I go now, but not go together." Ranma shook her head and pointed back up the street towards Lexington Avenue.
"Maybe I should just tag along to wherever you're going. As you can see this is a pretty rough area."
"Ruseru-san, you not yet master of Art, but you not need me to protect you."
The smile faded quickly from Russell's face, "I see, in that case, goodnight sensei." He turned on his heel and hurried off up the street.
"That was an abrupt exit," Ranma thought, "I was only kidding him, he's as uncute as Akane used to be."
She turned back down the street and spotted the Indian restaurant a few doors away, but she suddenly had no stomach for it. She couldn't understand why she had hesitated in the alley and it bothered her. She always thought about Akane and the boys when she started a fight, but it had never held her back before. She turned and looked back at her hotel building, "I wonder if they have ice cream parfait on the room service menu?"
o o o
The following morning found Ranma sitting at the head table in a room filled with almost the entire American branch of her little company. About forty people in all, they included the major franchise owners as well as the paid executive staff. They were all in New York for the next three days to discuss the coming year's budgets and sales forecasts, but Ranma was just here to deliver a speech.
Jeff Atkins, the president of Anything Goes Martial Arts Inc. took the podium first. He was a tall broad shouldered man with sandy blond hair and a perpetual smile. He had been the first person Ranma had ever hired and had become a trusted friend in the intervening years. He was also the only person outside Nerima who knew about Ranma's curse.
"Good morning everyone," Jeff said into the small microphone, "I'd like to get things started, so if you can all find your seats. Kelly, is the web link going? Just to let you know this morning's session is being sent out live to the fine folks at IGS Ltd. who are meeting in London this weekend. I hope you're all having a nice lunch over there!"
Jeff waved at the cameras set up in the back of the room, "I'm sorry to say that this is the first year that Mr. Saotome will not be able to address us," there were a few groans from the crowd, which made Ranma feel both touched and a little guilty, "but I think we have a real treat for you instead. Here to deliver this year's kickoff speech is none other than our founder's little sister, people let's have a warm welcome for Ranko Saotome!"
The president stepped back from the podium as the room erupted in applause. Ranma stood up and bowed to the crowd. Then rather than walk to the podium the tiny redhead leapt up on the table then vaulted into the air, tumbled end over end three times and came to a handstand on Jeff's shoulders. She winked at him then pushed off coming to a perfect landing right in front of the microphone.
The crowd roared its approval while Ranma adjusted the mic into a position more suitable for someone of her height. When the applause died down, she said into the microphone, "Good morning!" Acting more like a middle school class than a room full of businessmen, they all shouted back, "Good morning sensei!" Ranma smiled warmly, it was this attitude that made her little company work so well.
"Lucky all of you, I write and read English better than I speak it," Ranma held up the handful of index cards on which she had written today's speech. The crowd reacted with polite laughter and Ranma responded by playfully sticking out her tongue, which got even more laughs. She straightened up the stack of cards and cleared her throat.
"And so in conclusion, I want to say..." Jeff quickly jumped up and in a stage whisper said, "Wrong card!" After a short bowing match between the two and lot's more laughs from the crowd, Ranma settled down to deliver what she knew was going to be a disappointing speech for them.
"Let me start by thanking each of you for another year of your great effort. Without you -- the people who put a face on the Art -- this company would not exist. You are the backbone and strong legs that sustain us and it was your steady support that allowed us to venture out into new and profitable projects. Others who speak much better English than I do, will explain all this in detail later, but let me assure you that much of the profit from our Internet activities will be channeled back into expanding and improving our network of dojos."
When the applause died down, she continued, "Now for what you really want me to tell you, where is Ranma Saotome?" Ranma shrugged and shook her head as if she didn't know either, which got the laughs she needed to get her thought the next part with out cracking a smile, "When we last heard from the big oaf, he was on his way from Tibet into Nepal. Knowing my big brother he is probably intending to pick a fight with the ab... abo... abon..." Ranma looked up from the cards, "Oh crap, I write something I not able to say."
After a short consultation with Jeff she continued, "He going to pick a fight with the a-bom-in-able snowman!" She beamed and the crowd applauded. "Ranma still expects to be on the road for another nine months and when he returns he will have many new techniques to show you all." This wasn't really a lie, since she had never shown them half of what she knew in the first place.
"Now for some sad news of my own, for health reasons I am forced to cancel the remaining demos and appearances that are on this year's calendar and no new dates will be booked until further notice." Ranma waited for the general uproar to die down before she continued. The reaction had been mixed, a little disappointment, but a great deal more concern. "I know that I can count on your support and I assure you that Ranma will be back doing appearances as soon as he can."
She scanned the room for irritated faces, but found only warmth and devotion. Sometimes she just couldn't help but love Americans. "Now, we have some awards to pass out..."
By the time they broke for lunch, Ranma was exhausted. Between jet lag and not eating well at breakfast (how could a four-star hotel not have rice or miso soup in the morning?) she was running on empty, but before she could attack the buffet and give her demonstration of martial arts eating techniques there was the gauntlet of handshakes to get out of the way.
After a short string of non-descript mid-western businessmen all wearing one of the company's polo shirts, Jeff introduced a tall blonde woman in her early thirties wearing a stylish black jumpsuit, "Ranko this is Debra Suzuki."
Ranma held out her hand to the woman, but was surprised when she did a reasonably good bow instead. She was really shocked when the woman then introduced herself in very fluent Japanese, "It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Suzuki Debora. Please treat me with the same kindness I offer to you."
Ranma responded in kind and then turned to Jeff, "I know my English not good, but I not really need translator."
Jeff chuckled, "Debra is our new Vice President in charge of the entire Southwest. She bagged the highest return on sales this year. I think we can put her talents to better use than correcting your English."
Debra smiled, "On the contrary, I'd be honored to be Saotome-sensei's translator anytime."
"Please call me Ranko," Ranma said in English, then in Japanese she added, "and drop the sensei when the gaijin aren't listening. You have a Kansai accent."
"I lived in Kyoto for three years," Debra replied, "That's where I first learned kempo."
Ranma saw Jeff's eyes rolling, so she said, "We can talk later, okay?"
Debra smiled, "Sure, I'd like that."
Not for the first time, Ranma detected that there was something more implied in that response than she was privy too. Just being a woman, even a pregnant one, still didn't let her understand them any better. They shook hands and Debra headed off to the buffet at the back of the room.
"I have one more person I'd like you to meet Ranko," Jeff said with an air of pride, "He's the first national Grand-Master Champion that the Anything Goes schools here in America have produced. This is Russell Vogel from Cincinnati, Ohio."
The man from the alley last night stepped up with his arms folded across his chest and a scowl on his face. He made no attempt to either salute Ranma or present his hand for shaking. Ranma's battle senses went off like a five-alarm fire.
"Grand-Master Champion?" Ranma wasn't even sure what that was exactly, but this guy was certainly no master of the Art. Ranma was positive that Akane could mop up the mats with him and she would never dare call herself a master. Even Ranma still cringed whenever Genma called him that. "He a Grand-Master?"
Jeff looked puzzled and anxious. This was not how this meeting was supposed to have gone, "Um... Russell won that title back in February by defeating Grand-Masters from all sorts of disciplines in a national competition. We were a co-sponsor of the event Ranko, I sent you all the literature on it."
"I'm afraid that Saotome-sensei holds a very low opinion of my skills," Russell said, "Of course she's never seen me at my best."
"Martial artist judged by worst, not best," Ranma did not like this guy's attitude at all, "Also judged by one better than you, not by competition."
"Then perhaps you'd like to put my skills to the test?"
"Now wait a minute Russell," Jeff was beginning to sweat. This exchange had already attracted the attention of others in the room and the web feed to the UK was still on-line, "Ranko is not doing any more demonstrations, you heard her..."
Ranma held up her hand, "No Jeffu, this not demo, this lesson. I will test Ruseru-san."
"Name the time and place lady."
"Right now, here." Ranma's voice was as cold as ice, "First lesson you learn, I not lady," she locked gazes with the American, "Now you touch me before I touch you. Begin."
Russell dropped into a relaxed fighting stance as Jeff and the few other people nearby stepped back. Ranma just stood up straight and placed her hands behind her back. Russell raised an eyebrow at that, but grinned at her and then launched a flurry of punches. Ranma bobbed out of the way of them all without ever moving her feet.
Russell threw a series of sweeping kicks and Ranma simply lifted her feet up and let them pass by. The American switched to combinations of kicks and punches, which Ranma easily avoided seemingly without effort. After five minutes of this Russell was getting both tired and angry.
He dropped into a crouch and Ranma smiled, it was the same stance that he had used the night before and he used it for the same low sweeping kick, but Russell had a plan. As he swept with his leg Ranma was just going to jump up out of the way, so he followed the leg sweep with a round-house punch that would catch the girl right in the solar plexus.
It was a great plan, but Ranma saw it coming a mile away. Rather than jump in the air, Ranma simply hopped up on Russell's ankle and rode it in a 180 degree arc before hopping off again just out of reach of the American's fist. As Russell completed his turn and started to stand up, now facing away from his opponent, Ranma leaned over and tapped him lightly, but firmly, on the back of the head with her index finger.
Russell's shoulders slumped forward in defeat and Ranma straighten up, smiled at Jeff and waved to the crowd. Russell was actually pretty good, some of the combinations had been tough to read, but his ki was all over the place. He needed discipline and he really needed to control his anger.
Ranma never saw the sucker punch coming. Russell had stood up and taken a step away when he suddenly rounded on Ranma with an old fashioned American haymaker straight at her head. It was only the young man's lack of ki control that allowed Ranma to sense the fist coming and move enough to avoid being flattened by it. She felt his fist brush past her cheek as it just barely touched her.
There was a collective gasp in the room as everyone watched Ranma stagger back from the punch and assume a true fighting stance. Automatically she crossed and re-crossed her arms in a custom that was well known to anyone that had seen her fight for real. Then Ranma did something that shocked everyone in the room especially herself. She dropped to the floor hugging her knees and began crying uncontrollably.
o o o
All characters in this story are a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental.
This work is copyright (c) 2006 by Juliet Carnell, it is not public domain and all rights are reserved. This work is not for publication. This work may not be reproduced, distributed or sold in any format or media. This work may not be included in any collection without the express written permission of the author. The reader may make one printed or electronic copy of this work for personal use.
Characters and story elements that have appeared in 'Ranma 1/2' are copyright (c) 1987-1996 by Takahashi Rumiko and are used here without license.
Author's Notes:
(1) Tuna-mayo rice balls (onigiri) - triangular shaped balls of rice covered in dried seaweed (nori) and filled with tuna mixed with mayonnaise. This is currently the best selling flavor of onigiri at convenience stores across Japan.
(2) Onsen - spa like resort built around a natural hot spring. The word refers to the hot spring itself, but has come to represent the full experience.
(3) Gi - the traditional outfit worn by martial artists for practice. In the Ranma 1/2 series, Soun and Genma are always shown wearing gi's and Akane wears one whenever she is in the dojo.
(4) Nathan's - you've never had a Nathan's hotdog? Get yer butt to NYC and have one before you die.
(5) r and l and sometimes d - in most Asian languages there is no equivalent sound for our "r" and "l". What's worse is there is a different sound that can sometimes sound like "r", "l" or even "d". So Ranma is really pronounced more like Lanma or Danma in Japan.
(6) Miso soup - this is a soup made from miso (a paste made from fermented soybeans), tofu (also made from soybeans), nori (dried seaweed) and chopped spring onions. It is part of a traditional Japanese breakfast along with rice and usually dried fish.
(7) Gaijin - the Japanese word for foreigner. Technically Debra is also a gaijin, but Ranma is jokingly including her in his group because she is the only one speaking Japanese.
(8) Kansai accent - Kansai is the region that includes Kyoto and Osaka. People from this region have a distinctive accents.