Martial Arts Motherhood Challenge Chapter 13 – Returning to Chaos as Usual, a ranma fanfic

Chapter 13 - Returning to Chaos as Usual

Dr. Haruhi Yamaguchi looked up from her computer screen and stared out the window. It was a beautiful day, quite warm for the middle of March and there were signs of early budding on the cherry trees that lined the driveway in front of the hospital. There was a knock at the door, so she quickly minimized all the windows on her screen with patient information and called out, "Come in!"

Kasumi Ono stepped into the room with a young girl Haruhi had seen in the waiting room with her family a few days ago. The girl appeared to be about ten years old and from the telltale signs, that perhaps only Haruhi would notice, she guessed the child had a congenital heart problem.

"Good morning sensei," Kasumi said in her always bright and cheerful way. It was one of the things that made her so beloved by the patients and staff alike, but it was also the trait that worried Haruhi the most. One day she feared that smile would take its toll on Kasumi and the light behind it would burn out.

"Good morning Kasumi-kun. Who do we have here?" Haruhi stuck out her hand to the little girl who grasped it weakly and pumped it up and down only once.

"I'm Hinako Tendo. Pleased to meet you doctor. Kasumi-chan has told us all a great deal about you."

Haruhi was taken aback by the little girl's mature demeanor. It wasn't unusual for children weakened by a bad heart to turn to books or the Internet to fill the emptiness created by their condition. Those children often appeared to be more mature, but something about this little girl was different. She definitely gave off the impression of being truly adult.

"Kasumi-kun," Haruhi said, "I didn't know you had another little sister. Or perhaps Hinako-chan's a cousin?"

"Sensei, Hinako is..." Kasumi started to say hesitantly. When she faltered, Hinako put her hand reassuringly on Kasumi's arm and she continued, "You see, Hinako is my stepmother."

Haruhi stared at Kasumi dumbfounded. She hadn't thought the girl capable of something like this. "Kasumi-kun, I know I told you to work on improving your sense of humor, but I didn't mean you should take up practical jokes."

"This isn't a joke sensei, Hinako really is my stepmother. She married my father five years ago. I wanted you to meet her because I think she may be able to help patients like Kenta Watanabi."

"You don't seriously expect me to believe that this... this child is married to your father? If that's true the man should be arrested!"

"That's enough!" shouted Hinako. "Kasumi-chan does not lie. If you'd really worked with her for any length of time you should know that. I won't stand by and have someone call my daughter a liar."

Once again Haruhi was struck by the girl's maturity and demanding presence. "I'm sorry, but you must admit that on the face of it what you're saying sounds ludicrous."

"How dare you!" Hinako already had a five yen coin in her hand and was raising it when Kasumi grabbed her arm.

"Mother no, please let me explain this to Dr. Yamaguchi."

"Only if she agrees to behave herself and stop acting naughty."

"Sensei, please?" Kasumi said with eyes that pleaded for her to say yes.

"Okay," Haruhi said at last. "I'll listen, but this had better be good."

Hinako crossed her arms and pouted while Kasumi tried to explain. "When mother was a child she suffered from a condition that left her too weak to go to school. The same martial arts master who taught my father also taught her a technique for draining the ki energy from another person and using it to make her own body stronger. By doing so she was able to attend school, go on to university and she now teaches advanced English to middle and high school students. Despite mother's appearance she's actually about your age, sensei."

"Humph," Hinako said giving the doctor a sidelong glance.

"So this..." Haruhi said disdainfully, "person is supposed to be a teacher of advanced English?"

Kasumi nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but Hinako held up her hand and said in English with a slight British accent, "That's correct doctor. The other day, while waiting for my daughter-in-law to give birth, I happened across a copy of the American Medical Journal containing a paper you had written. While I was fascinated by your theories on the polymerization of certain amino acids as a way to improve the regeneration of nerve tissues in congenital spinal disorders, I was shocked by your abysmal command of the English language. Not only did you consistently forget to use articles properly, but also you seem to have no grasp of the past perfect tense of common verbs. Would that be a fair assessment doctor?"

Haruhi tried to pick her jaw up off the floor at the same time she brushed away a large drop of sweat from the back of her head. "I... um... that is... how? How is this possible?"

"Mother," Kasumi said with a hint of pride in her voice, "perhaps a demonstration is in order. You can drain me if you like."

"I can't just drain anyone Kasumi-chan," Hinako said apologetically. "They need to be angry or showing a battle aura before I can use the technique."

"Will this do?" Kasumi said. Suddenly the room was filled with an overpowering feeling of doom.

Haruhi recoiled from the young doctor as if she had suddenly turned into a towering monster. "Wha... What's happening?"

"That's splendid Kasumi-chan!" Hinako said with pride and delight. "I had no idea you could do something like this."

"I did spend all day in the house with Grandfather Happosai for over two years." Kasumi giggled, but it did not weaken her aura in the least. "I had to find some way to get him to listen to me."

As Haruhi watched, Hinako held up a five-yen coin between her fingers. She mumbled something under her breath and just as suddenly as it had appeared the stifling feeling in the room was gone. Kasumi seemed to physically weaken as well, but it was the sight of Hinako that riveted her attention.

The little girl began to grow before her eyes. It was as if someone had taken a picture of her every day for thirty years and played it back at high speed. Within seconds a voluptuous middle-aged woman with streaks of gray running through her brown hair stood where the little girl had just been.

Hinako stepped to Kasumi's side and took her arm. Helping her into a chair she said in a very grown-up voice, "I'm sorry Kasumi-chan, but once I start taking it in it's sometimes difficult to stop."

"That's alright mother." Kasumi said with her trademark smile. Turning to Haruhi she said, "You see doctor? This is what I think might someday help children like Kenta-chan. My sister's husband has agreed to work on perfecting this technique, changing it from an old man's weapon into something that can sustain and strengthen weak young bodies."

"Yes, yes I see how this could be of great help to such children, but why bring this to me Kasumi-kun?"

"Because you have access to the children and their parents. I was hoping that over the next few years you could select some suitable candidates and work with my brother-in-law to put together some kind of martial arts program for them."

"Believe me doctor," Hinako said, "I know what it's like to be a weak child, to feel like you will never fit in with other children. Even if it means living part of my life as a perpetual child, it's worth the price of being alive and healthy."

o o o

"So you're finally leaving us today, Saotome-san?" the nurse asked as she put the last of the flower arrangements onto a cart. "It certainly has been... interesting having you here with us. Tell me, are you planning to have another baby anytime soon? You see I'm retiring in another three years."

Ranma bowed her head and tried to sound contrite. "I'm sorry for all the commotion my friends and relatives have caused. Was there a great deal of damage?"

"Oh no. Not much at all. They've already replaced most of the windows and there's no permanent damage to the x-ray machine. The pool is still closed, but I'm sure it's just to finish cleaning out the panda hair."

Ranma looked down at the baby cradled in her arms and tried not to laugh. "Well, I'm afraid Ranko-chan's it. There won't be any more after her."

The nurse looked puzzled. "Oh really? You had such an easy delivery and with your hips you could have lots of children. You're quite young too. Large families are a blessing you know... well maybe in your case that's not such a good selling point."

Ranma chuckled, "Three's plenty. Besides I have it on good authority she's my one and only little miracle."

"You're all packed up, Saotome-san," the nurse said. "Let me take the little miracle and you can get dressed. Someone is picking you up, right? Don't you live way up in Nerima?"

"That's right," Ranma said passing Ranko-chan into the nurse's waiting arms. "Akane was supposed to rent a car to take us home. She should have been here by now, so I guess there was some hold up. Honestly, I'd just rather take the train home than drive through Tokyo on a weekday."

"Oh I know what you mean," the nurse said as she played with Ranko-chan's nose. "But a crowded train is no place for a newborn."

Ranma finished putting on the outfit Akane had brought for her to wear home. Finding something had been a bit of a problem because her maternity clothes were all too big now and everything she had from before her pregnancy was too small because she had grown taller.

The nurse made her sit in a wheelchair. "Hospital regulations," was the excuse. Then she handed Ranko-chan back and suggested Ranma feed her before they go. "If her tummy's full, it'll help her sleep through the trip."

Ranma was still sitting there five minutes later with Ranko-chan locked onto her right breast when Kuno burst into the room. He marched two paces forward, took one look, turned on his heel and walked straight into the door, which had just closed behind him. He hit the floor with the dazed look Ranma remembered all too well. The only thing missing were her footprints on his face.

In fact the only thing that had changed about Kuno since his days as the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High was the tailored Italian suits that he wore. His approach to life and business hadn't changed much and he still acted like some cheap movie version of a samurai most of the time. Oddly that seemed to work in his favor when it came to business dealings. Associates were either afraid of him or found him so amusing that they failed to notice he was picking their corporate pockets.

Ranko-chan was well past full, so Ranma exchanged a pacifier for her nipple and closed up her blouse. Kuno came back to what little senses he had and arose on one knee.

"Fairest Red-haired Princess," he said with a sweep of his arm. "Thou art a vision of maternal perfection. The sight of your motherly ministrations humbles me. You have indeed surpassed the womanly ideal for which you were created. I greet you, not as a former lover, but as an enduring admirer."

"Nice to see you too, Kuno," Ranma said with a smirk.

"The beauteous Akane and my beloved Na-chan have requested I secure a chariot to whisk you and the fruit of your womanhood back to your mansion in Nerima with all do haste. May I, the Great Wind of the Nevada Desert, have the honor of accompanying you to yon awaiting carriage?"

"No you may not," said the nurse who had just entered the room behind him. "But you can follow me as I take her down to yon pharmacy and then off to hither administration office." Turning to Ranma she added, "There are just a few forms to sign and then we can let you go Saotome-san."

Twenty minutes and much flowery rhetoric later, the nurse pushed Ranma towards the bank of elevators. She had quite a load now and was glad for the ride. There was Ranko-chan of course, plus a large shopping bag full of free stuff they had picked up at the pharmacy. Most important were the list of things she needed to do over the next few weeks, an immunization checklist, and a certified copy of Ranko-chan's birth record.

The clerk at the administration office had done a double take when she saw the father listed as Ranma Saotome under one spelling and Ranma Saotome as the mother using different characters. She and Akane had debated what to do about these legal documents and decided to be as honest as they could concerning Ranko-chan's parentage. This would follow her for the rest of her life and could be important when it came time for her to marry and have her own children someday.

Kuno followed them into the elevator and reached for the buttons before the nurse could. The doors closed and they began to go up. "Kuno," Ranma said with exasperation, "we have to go down to get to the lobby."

"That is correct, my ever observant Princess. However we are not bound for the plebeian terrain of the lobby. Your chariot waits upon higher ground."

Ranma shook her head while the nurse giggled quietly. "Kuno, what are you up to now?"

"You'll see the depths of my devotion with your own eyes shortly," Kuno said with a prideful grin, "Perhaps this would be an advantageous time for me to beg an act of kindness from you, my copper-haired goddess? Although my reasons may not at first appear comprehensible, I would beseech you to inquire of your honored older brother if he could put aside our years of enmity and see fit to stand at my side during the forthcoming nuptials."

"You want me to be your best man?" Ranma shouted, forgetting they weren't alone and that Kuno was crazy. "Are you out of your mind?"

"I merely ask that you put forth the proposition to him. It would do my heart well to mend the rift between us before we are joined as one in family. Ah! At last we have arrived at Valhalla!"

The door opened onto a small unadorned room with a set of automatic sliding doors looking out over the roof. Parked on the helipad was a small tilt-rotor aircraft painted in the gaudiest color scheme Ranma had ever seen. As the nurse pushed her wheelchair through the doors, she saw the logo 'Kuno Loa Travel' written across the side of the airplane.

"Isn't that a most glorious carriage in which to bear home your progeny?" Kuno asked with evident pride.

"Who the hell said you could park that thing up here?" the nurse shouted angrily. "This landing pad is for emergency helicopters only."

"Never fear my dear lady. My trusted pilot has been constantly monitoring the airways for such vehicles. Had one needed right of entry onto your facility, he would have lifted off immediately."

"I'm going to get security," the nurse said tersely, she was clearly unimpressed with the Great Wind of the Desert. "Saotome-san, I'll take you back downstairs."

"That's okay," Ranma said standing up, "I'm used to this sort of thing. We'll be out of your way very shortly. Come on Kuno, you've caused enough bedlam for one day."

Nabiki was waiting for them by the open hatch beckoning them to hurry up. "Isn't this great?" she said as they came closer. "Climb on in!"

Being extra careful not to bump Ranko-chan against anything, Ranma ducked into the cabin. Inside she found Akane already seated and pointing to another seat with a car carrier already attached. "Hi sweetheart," she said. "I know you were expecting a limo, but you know how things go."

Ranma carefully strapped the still sleeping Ranko-chan into the carrier and plopped down into the seat right next to it. "I can't believe this. Where does he come up with these things?"

Nabiki kneeled on the seat in front of Ranko-chan and said merrily, "This thing belongs to one of Take's dad's weird little companies. Normally it flies between the Southern Islands, but it was sitting up at Narita for its annual inspection so we just had to borrow it."

Kuno finished pulling the hatch shut then stood up and smashed his head on the low ceiling. Recovering quickly he knocked on the door of the cockpit and said, "Sasuke! Take us home."

"Wait a minute," Ranma shouted, "Are you telling me that bungling little ninja is your pilot?"

"Yes indeed," Kuno said while strapping himself into a seat, "but fear not for he has many thousands of hours flying machines every bit as complex as this."

"Relax sweetheart," Akane said reassuringly, "The flight down here was really quite nice and smooth."

"Sure thing, Ranma-baby," Nabiki chimed in. "The little guy's a klutz, but behind the wheel he's an ace."

Ranma tried to relax as the engines whined to life. Soon the rotors began to beat against the air and that's when Ranko-chan woke up. Between finding herself strapped into a strange box, not being able to see her mother and the loud frightening noises she used the only technique in her martial arts arsenal. She started crying and never stopped until long after they had arrived home.

o o o

Akane walked into the bathroom and found Ranma already there, standing in front of the full length mirror admiring herself. She watched with amusement as the redhead turned first one way and then another trying to get the best view of her rear end. At last Akane giggled and said, "The answer is yes, it's bigger than it used to be."

Ranma looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Still it's not too bad for just six weeks of working out, don't you think?"

"Yes," Akane said with a smirk, "very impressive. You realize, of course, you're about to go back to having no butt at all."

Ranma frowned. "Yeah, I know. What really worries me is how much more uncomfortable this will make the transition. It used to only be my breasts becoming bigger all of a sudden."

"At least the difference in your height won't be so much now." Akane decided to change the subject before this turned into a cursed anatomy lesson. "Should we go through the checklist now?"

"Sure," Ranma said unenthusiastically.

"Has Ranko-chan been fed?"

"Yep, fed and fast asleep."

"Did you put the breast milk you pumped this morning into the freezer?" Ranma nodded and Akane smiled, "Good! We should have enough for another six weeks if this doesn't work out."

"I sure hope it does," Ranma said with a worried look. "She really doesn't like being fed from a bottle."

Akane frowned. "Ranma, if you're not a hundred percent sure about this, we have plenty of waterproof soap left."

"No," the redhead said while bowing her head. "I can't put this off any longer. I've got to get back to work and then there's Nabiki's wedding coming up... The truth is I'm just being selfish wanting to stay this way. If I don't do it right now, Ranko-chan might never get to know her father."

Akane walked up behind Ranma and wrapped her arms around her husband's tiny waist, something that irked her when she remembered the months of dieting and exercise she had endured to get her figure back after the twins were born. "It'll be alright, you'll see. Anyway it's only for a few hours this time. Do you want me to help?"

Ranma leaned back, resting her head on Akane's shoulder. "No, I think I'd rather do this alone."

She pulled away from Akane and stepped up to the glass door leading to the furo. Putting a hand on the door handle, she sighed heavily and slid it open. After stepping into the steamy bath she slid the door shut without looking back.

Akane sat down on the toilet and chewed at her lower lip. This was eerily similar to the day sixteen months ago when Ranma had gone into the furo as a man for the last time. Back then the future had been full of uncertainties, neither one of them knew if she could even become pregnant. The question now was could she return to being the man she had once been after all that had happened?

Akane heard the shower come on and it stayed on long after Ranma should have been in the tub. She knew him well enough to know it meant he didn't want her to hear him swearing or crying... or both. When the sound of running water stopped at last, she stood up expectantly.

The door slid open and Ranma stood in front her, a towel wrapped around his slim waist, his long black hair draped over one broad shoulder and his dark eyes twinkling from an angular face she hadn't seen in a year and a half. Akane began to tremble as she felt all the strength drain from of her body. Her knees went weak and rather than fall to the floor she rushed forward, throwing herself into his powerful arms and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Don't cry, sweetheart," Ranma said in a rich masculine voice. "It's okay. It's just me."

Akane shook her head, too overcome to speak. With one hand she caressed the sinewy muscles of his upper arm, while she tried to gather even a little of his firm flat chest into the other. Looking up into his face, still very boyish for a man his age, she felt again the dynamic charisma that had always made her feel safe in his arms no matter what danger they faced.

They stood in each other's arms for several minutes. Akane sobbing quietly and Ranma just happy to be holding the woman he loved. Finally Akane pushed away from him and wiped ineffectually at her tear soaked eyes. "I... I missed you so much! I... I wanted you so much! I... I..."

"I know," Ranma said placing his hands on her shoulders to stop her from shaking. "I'd be five kinds of a fool to think I was the only one who made sacrifices to bring Ranko-chan into this world. I'll make it up to you, Tendo, I swear I will, but right now we have work to do."

Akane nodded her head and sniffed back another sob. "I know. You better get dressed, if I remember correctly you promised not to scare the children."

When Ranma was dressed in his favorite sleeveless silk shirt and a pair of sweat pants, they walked hand-in-hand to their bedroom where Ranko-chan lay asleep in her crib. "I hate to wake her up," Ranma said. "She's likely to cry for that reason alone."

"If she really recognizes you it won't matter," Akane said. They had been debating for months whether Ranko-chan would be able to recognize Ranma as the same person in both male and female forms. The twins had never seemed to notice the difference, but they were looking for daddy not mommy.

Ranma bent over the crib and gently brushed at his baby's fine red hair. His hand seemed so massive in comparison to her now. Suddenly he was afraid to pick up the little girl he had breastfed less than an hour ago. Shaking it off, he put one hand behind her neck and the other under her butt and lifted her to his shoulder.

Letting her slip into the crook of his arm he jiggled her lightly and said, "Wake up, sleepyhead. Mommy... uh... daddy wants to see those big blue eyes."

Reluctantly Ranko-chan opened her eyes and looked up at the stranger holding her. She drew in a deep breath preparing to scream her head off, but stopped when her nose filled with the man's scent. Her eyes widened and then closed contentedly. Her head flopped over to face Ranma's flat chest and her mouth started making suckling motions.

Ranma and Akane grinned at each other and then Akane said, "I guess that settles it. She definitely knows who you are."

"I'm sorry sweetheart," Ranma said as he kissed Ranko-chan's head, "but daddy can't feed you right now." He picked up a pacifier from dresser and worked it into her little mouth. Within minutes she was asleep again and he passed her to Akane.

"That's one down," Akane said.

"And two to go," Ranma said with a grin.

He walked upstairs and stood for a few minutes outside the boys' room. He wasn't really worried that the boys wouldn't remember him or adjust in time to his changing genders again. He was a bit concerned they had both come to rely on him as a second mother figure. He'd be spending plenty of time in female mode as Ranko-chan grew up, but he also wanted his boys to have a strong father figure again.

He opened the door and stepped inside to find his sons on the floor engrossed in a video game. With the perfect synchronization he had come to expect from identical twins, they turned their heads around and said together, "Hi daddy." Then they whipped them back around to their game.

Ranma stared at them skeptically. Was it really going to be this easy? "What are you guys up to?"

"Nothing," they said in unison without looking away from the screen.

"So, did you notice anything different about daddy today?"

Once again two little heads turned as one and with matching shrugs they said, "Nope."

As they turned back to their game, Ranma noticed Hideto crack a faint smile. "I see..." he said with a grin widening on his face. "Mind if I play along with you guys?"

"Maybe later," this time they were not in unison because each was beginning to crack up on his own.

"I think," Ranma said dropping into a crouch, "maybe NOW!" He leapt into the center of the room, but fell face first onto a bare floor. Rolling over quickly he looked up to see Hideto and Masato perched on the ceiling.

Both boys screamed "Daddy!" as they dropped on top of Ranma and started hugging him. He began wrestling with them and they squealed and giggled in delight.

Two hours later, Akane came to find Ranma sitting cross-legged on the floor with a twin on each knee. They each had a game controller in hand and the small wall screen was filled with a rampaging battle between doe-eyed bunny rabbits with swords and something that resembled a lump of uncooked hamburger with legs.

"I hope that's the final boss," she said, "because dinner's ready."

"Aw, mom!" cried the boys.

Ranma fell backwards and flopped on the floor in front of her. Looking up between her legs he leered and said in a whiny voice, "Aw, mom!"

Akane laughed and bumped the side of his head with her foot. "As for you, young man, there's someone in this house who's going to be waking up soon and she'll want dinner too. I'll get the boys settled at the table and meet you in the bath."

The boys hopped up and hungrily followed Akane out the door while Ranma remained sprawled on the floor. "Hey," he called out, "when do I get dinner?"

Ranma stepped out of the furo a few minutes later naked, wet and female once again. "Now for the most important test of all," Akane said handing her the business end of the breast pump.

"They look just as big," Ranma said hoisting one ponderous breast into place and putting the device over its nipple. "Okay, let her rip."

Akane switched on the pump and in a few seconds milky white fluid began dropping into the collection bottle. They waited until there were a few ounces just to make sure it wasn't going to stop and then turned off the machine.

"Looks like my baby eats home style for a little while longer," Ranma said with a grin as she used a baby-wipe to cleaned up and started to get dressed.

"That's up to you," Akane said. "I stopped when the boys were only eight weeks old, but I had two of them to feed. How long are you planning to keep it up?"

"I don't know. The woman at the breastfeeding class said three months was good, but I figure Ranko-chan will let me know when she's ready for something else."

"Don't bet on it," Akane said with a smirk. "We all expected you'd learn table manners on your own and that never happened."

Ranma stuck out her tongue and replied, "Speaking of table manners, when do I get to eat?"

Akane turned and blocked her from leaving the bathroom. "Once you've fed Ranko-chan and taken another really hot bath, you and I have reservations at that little ryokan in Koyama."

"You mean the one next to the amusement park, where we went for our anniversary two years ago?" Ranma said with growing interest. "The one with the private onsen baths in every room and all the... um... 'toys'?"

Akane nodded. "That's the one. Kasumi and Toufuu agreed to watch the kids for the night so that I can get reacquainted with that guy who was in here a few minutes ago. So, do you still want to eat dinner now?"

"That kid better eat damn fast tonight!" Ranma said giving Akane a quick kiss before pushing past her and racing for the bedroom.

Akane grinned. "Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war! Ranma Saotome is back."

o o o

Perm glanced at the little map Shampoo had given her before they parted ways at the train station. This was her first trip to the toy factory and the size of the place was shocking. The 'train' had been a bit of a shock as well. When her leader had directed her to the little cave outside the village, Perm was expecting some sort of mine train. To find a string of roller coaster cars instead had left her speechless.

"Buying a mine train from overseas would have attracted too much attention," Shampoo explained. "But a few old roller coasters bought for scrap value didn't even raise an eyebrow at the foreign trade ministry. The fact that it's so much faster than any mine train is a big bonus."

And it was fast... very fast. The old linear induction motors got the cars up to one hundred klicks in a matter of seconds and Perm couldn't even imagine how fast they were going once they passed the halfway point and started going downhill. What really threw her were the loops and corkscrews at this end of the line. Shampoo had passed them off as simply a way to slow the cars down, but Perm suspected the men of the village just thought it was more fun to ride that way.

She worked her way trough the maze of buildings until she found herself in a carpeted hallway outside a set of double doors. She knocked on and heard an ancient voice from inside call out, "Come in, child. I've been waiting for you."

Stepping into the large corner office, Perm first noticed how cluttered it was. Boxes and packing material were strewn everywhere. Some of the things sticking out of those boxes looked like antiques while others looked like they had recently been ordered off the Internet. Amid all the disorder only one thing moved and it appeared to be the most ancient thing in the collection. Perm dropped to one knee and said formally, "Great Elder Cologne. I've come as you requested. My life and my sword are yours to command..."

Cologne hopped out from behind one of the boxes and looked quizzically at the curly-haired girl. She grinned impishly and said, "Get up off the floor, child! God only knows what I might have spilled there."

Perm stared in horror at the heavily stained carpet and shot to her feet. She now noticed the dozens of large jugs scattered about the room, each filled with what looked like nothing more than water. The thought of what magical powers might be alive in those jugs gave the girl an icy chill. She straightened up and came to attention, then began over again, "Great Elder Cologne. I've come..."

Cologne chuckled at the girl's reaction. "Relax Perm, there's no need to be so formal. You're not here to be disciplined. Quite the contrary, I've been hearing lots of good things about you and your team from my great-granddaughter."

"Thank you, Great Elder," Perm said with a genuine look of surprise. "I had no idea you took an interest in the warriors."

"I take an interest in everything that affects the future of our tribe. Call me Cologne, Great Elder just reminds me how old I used to be." Cologne winked, which brought a hint of a smile to the girl's face at last. "Shampoo thinks your full potential is being wasted guarding the village and I quite agree. Would you be interested in something a little more dangerous, something that requires your unique talents?"

"I...I don't know what to say. Of course I want to do whatever I can for the tribe, but there are other team leaders far more experienced than me."

"True," Cologne said, hopping over to one of the windows and peeking out through the blinds. "But they don't speak fluent Japanese and English like you do. They don't have two years of special ops training with the PLA like you. And they don't have your strong determination and willpower. Perm, I want you to work for me. Do you have any objection to conducting operations outside the country?"

Perm looked stunned. To work for the Great Elder was a privilege she had never dreamed of. "No ma'am. I've been preparing for such missions my whole life. What is it you want me to do?"

Cologne hopped over to a large box with 'Pinyin Media Works' printed in large English letters on the outside. She reached in and took out a DVD holder similar to the kind games were packaged in and tossed it to the girl. "Do you recognize the any of the people characterized on this package?"

Perm looked at the box. On the front, under the English title 'Nerima Wrecking Crew', was a cartoon of eight young people. Standing prominently in front was a young man with black hair and a girl with red hair. Both wore their hair in a short pigtail and were dressed in matching Chinese silks. The others included a girl with short black hair, a broad chested boy wearing a yellow bandana, a tall boy holding a Japanese sword, a girl dressed a black leotard with a rose in her teeth, a boy with long black hair and thick glasses, and...

"Is this Warrior Leader Shampoo?" Perm asked in shock.

"Yes it is," Cologne said disgustedly. "Do you recognize the two standing in front?"

Perm studied the cartoon faces for a moment and then ventured a guess, "Could they be the man who disgraced Shampoo and his cursed warrior form?"

"Very good," Cologne said with a satisfied smile. "They are indeed the two aspects of Ranma Saotome."

"What are he and Shampoo doing on the cover of a video game?"

"That's precisely what I want you and your team to find out. We've successfully acquired the contract to produce these games here at the factory. We've hired a team of programmers in Kolkata to reverse engineer the game and replace any references to Amazon secret techniques with gibberish. The immediate danger has been contained, but I want to know why Saotome decided to break his promise and reveal our secrets."

"So this is to be an intelligence gathering mission in Japan?"

"For the most part, I want you to find out why he did this. Who else was involved and if there is any other plan to reveal our secrets. Then..." Cologne leaned wearily on a desk, which was nearly invisible under piles and piles of ancient books and scrolls.

"Is there something more you wish me to do, Elder Cologne?" Perm asked, sensing she was selected more for her ability to complete this unspoken task.

"Not me," Cologne said with a sigh. "The council of elders has decided to get rid of this problem once and for all. You are to eliminate Ranma Saotome before returning from this mission. There is one stipulation however, you are forbidden to take the life of the warrior Saotome. You must kill him only if he is in male form."

o o o

Nabiki peeked into Akane and Ranma's bedroom and found Ranma already dressed in his tuxedo and bending over Ranko-chan's crib. "There you are," she said. "How come you put on your tux already? Take's mom has dressing rooms all set aside for us."

Ranma straightened up with Ranko-chan in his arms. "I figured I'd be too busy with this little demon, so I got dressed while she was asleep."

"Well, the limo's here so we can leave anytime," Nabiki said sitting down on the bed.

Ranma looked at his sister-in-law sympathetically. She looked nervous, something very unusual for her. "Are you okay, Nabiki? I'm sure everything's going to be okay. I even used the waterproof soap to make sure Kuno's best man didn't suddenly turn into his old flame." He stuck a finger into Ranko-chan's diaper and peeked inside. "Uh oh, somebody needs changing."

"Doesn't that soap last for like... two or three days?" Nabiki asked without answering Ranma's question. "Is she okay with that?"

"So far she doesn't seem to notice any difference," Ranma said putting Ranko-chan down on the changing table. "We had a little trouble getting her to take a bottle last night, but I think she'll get used to it. So, are you going to tell me what you're so nervous about?"

"You've changed, Ranma," Nabiki said standing up and looking out the window. "It's getting harder to tell you apart from the redhead."

"Stop changing the subject," Ranma said as he unsnapped Ranko-chan's jumper and reached into the cabinet for a clean diaper.

"I'm not nervous," Nabiki lied, "I just wish we'd gotten married at one of those quickie places in Las Vegas instead of letting his folks put on a carnival in their backyard. Make sure you don't get any of that on the tux, those are Armani you know."

"Don't worry. I've got plenty of experience from doing this with the boys. With them you had to be on your toes the whole time. They could catch you off guard from a meter away, but little girls are close range sprinklers."

"So," Nabiki said having successfully gotten Ranma off the topic of her wedding, "have you finally given up on her turning into a boy? Maybe you just haven't found the right trigger mechanism yet?"

"What do you mean?" Ranma asked as he pulled the adhesive tabs off Ranko-chan's diaper.

"Well, hot and cold water didn't work maybe something else will, green tea... or sake? Maybe it's not something liquid at all. Maybe it's emotional? Maybe she needs to get really mad or maybe it'll happen when a really cute girl kisses her."

"Now you're just being silly, Nabiki." Ranma chuckled as he pulled down Ranko-chan's diaper with one hand and reached for a baby-wipe with the other. Before he even had a time to react to the shocking sight in front of him a stream of warm yellow liquid hit him square in the face and ran down the front of his tuxedo.

Nabiki leaned over Ranma's shoulder and smiled down at her nephew and his quite obvious and energetic endowment. "Or maybe he only changes into a boy when it's funny?"

The End of Book One

All characters in this story are a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental.

This work is copyright (c) 2006 by Juliet Carnell, it is not public domain and all rights are reserved. This work is not for publication. This work may not be reproduced, distributed or sold in any format or media. This work may not be included in any collection without the express written permission of the author. The reader may make one printed or electronic copy of this work for personal use.

Author's Notes:

(1) tilt-rotor aircraft - a type of vertical take-off and landing aircraft where the propellers swing from facing forward to facing straight up. Only military versions of these currently exist.

(2) furo - the Japanese word for a deep soaking bathtub.

(3) ryokan - a traditional Japanese inn.

(4) onsen - a hot spring fed by water heated deep underground.

(5) PLA - the Peoples' Liberation Army.