Broken dishes laid on the floor. Clothes thrown haphazardly. My P.A.D.D. had several missed messages with a cracked screen. My communicator won't stop flashing. It's only day 2 of my Pon Farr. I tried to meditate but it was not working. The longer I sat with my eyes closed the more I want to rip down my curtains and tear into my pillows. My chest started to hurt. Spock tried to come by but I refused to allow him in. I know the next time he would try to come by, he would bring our father. It is a difficult and serious matter when a Vulcan does not have a bonded mate and have to go through the ritual. I need to be home. However, home was destroyed by the vicious Nero. It was only documented in the early stages of Star Fleet. A Vulcan named T'Pol was exposed the way I did but differently. Her doctor on board was able to eliminate the microbes which canceled the Pon Farr. Unfortunately for me, I did not have that luxury and was forced to go through Kali-if-fee with Serock and T'Aerial. Just thinking about the past, brings the rage built up inside. I grabbed a pillow and sunk my nails into it. The pillow ripped from the force of being pulled apart. A door bell ringed followed by a familiar voice, "T'Saraphina?"

I dropped the pillow stepping over it. I pressed the button to open the door. The owner of the voice took a glimpse of the state of my apartment. His words came out slow, "Are you... Are you okay?"

I licked my lips. I breathed out, "Jim. I need a favor."

Jim felt his stomach twist at the sound of his name rolling out off of the half-breed's lips. Jim shook off the warm feeling. Jim moved inside my apartment allowing the door close behind him. Jim's voice came out low... And if I must say a little huskier than normal, "I heard from Spock about what is going on. Vulcans go through... what was it?"

I bit my bottom lip, "Pon Farr. It's-."

Jim interrupted me, "It's a ritual that could potentially kill you. I knew of the particulars of it from Spock from what he would give out and from Bones. Bones had to research back in the academy of other species' health related rituals."

Jim could feel his heart beat against his sternum. The sound of it reached his ears. I have a feeling of what he was leading towards. Technically Pon Farr is life or death situation. There are times this wasn't programmed into our Vulcan biological code. Jim shifted his weight on his feet. His right hand rubbed into his neck muscles. I blurted out right as he opened his mouth, "Not as captain and senior officer but as a one time thing, can you help me with this problem by having a sexual relation with me?"

Jim felt his ears, cheeks and possibly his neck turn up its temperature. He couldn't formulate his words correctly, "I... Wha-... You..."

I changed my bite to my top lip as I thought what to say. My breathing started to race as if I ran a race. I shook my head letting out a breathy laugh, "What am I doing? A commander asking their captain to have sex with them."

Jim watched as I turned my back to him. I ran a hand through my black hair. Goosebumps raised the hairs of my arms. I rubbed them to reduce them. Jim moved till he was behind my person. I didn't need to listen to his footsteps to know he was behind me. I could feel his body heat radiate off of him. I bit my bottom lip hard. I closed my eyes. I shuddered when he spoke closely, "I uh..."

His hands hovered over my arms where I gripped tightly around my biceps. He continued, "Off the record, I... I can help you."

I turned around meeting his eyes. I studied them and his face. He seemed to be serious. My voice came out barely a whisper, "I don't want to die if I can't fix this."

Jim slowly placed his hands on my arms. I felt static run through my skin. My eyes caught the movement of his teeth biting on his bottom lip. I pulled away from him shaking my head, "No. I can't go through with this."

Jim ducked his head to meet my eyes. He gave a small smile, "It's alright. This is only between two consenting adults who happen to need to do what is needed to for one to survive."

I could feel my heart beat against the bottom of my rib cage. The feel of it started to ripple through my body. I licked my lips, "If such act were to be done, let's this be between the two of us. Spock-."

He finished for me, "Will not know. I don't want your brother to kill me for sleeping with his sister. This will be no strings attached."

Jim felt a little pain go through his chest after he spoke the last words. That's what he wants right? I looked down at his hand. The tips of my index and middle finger of my right hand started to tingle. No strings attached? That's what I want, right? This is definitely a life and death situation that would only be solved if I can find a male to essentially mate with. After the room filled with silence for a while, I spoke up, "If I wouldn't have found someone I could trust, I would of ordered a pizza and give him one good tip."

Jim felt a little flattered that the hybrid would trust him with something like this. Jim's lips went into one of his famous smirks, "I'd be honor to save your life, T'Saraphina."

I knew he spoke the truth but I could hear the hint of humor. I reached for his right hand with both hands. I brought it close to my person, "If I may, captain?"

Jim watched with curiosity but also with want. He corrected me, "Call me Jim. We aren't captain and senior officer anymore right now, remember?"

I swallowed a large lump. I used my left hand to straighten out his two first fingers. I spoke quietly, "Among Vulcans, we use our fingers to touch each other during this ritual, in public, and in private. Some say it is the equivalent to a human's kiss but I can assure you, we Vulcans do kiss like any other human. This shows affection and passion."

I personally have not been through with an actual Pon Farr involving having to actually go through with sex. I unraveled my index and middle finger. Slowly I reached over to his straight two fingers. Lightly our skin grazed against each other. I looked up from our hands to see him didn't take his eyes off of me. Taking my time, I moved my two fingers up his two fingers then moving them to the other side. Once I was satisfied with the two original fingers, I moved my two fingers across his hand to the remaining fingers and his palm. Jim would be lying if he didn't say this was sensual and it excited him differently. With his past experience with women from Earth and other species, none took their time to feel their partner. I felt him turning the situation to where he was feeling my hand. I bit my bottom lip. I decided to watch the sandy haired man when he turned his attention to my hand. My heart have not stopped beating sporadically. My hand clasped around his exploring hand to stop his ministrations. I lightly gave his hand a tug so he was closer to my person. With my free hand, I reached around to his short sandy hair. My finger tips ran through it at the base of his hair. Slowly my fingers curled on his head and I gave it a light tug on his hair. Jim took this initiative to lean down placing his lips on top of mine. A sigh left through my nose as I relaxed into the kiss. This will be good. I can get Pon Farr over with quickly and act like this never happened. If Spock asks, I simply found a way and by that I found someone who was willing. Jim's right hand intertwined with my right hand. His free hand buried itself in my black locks pulling me closer.

I pulled away licking my lips. I could still taste him. Jim saw the movement when he glanced down to my lips. I breathed out, "Room?"

Jim nodded. He didn't want Spock or their father to walk in on them. I started to walk towards my bedroom. I already started to unbutton my blouse and threw it to the floor. Jim's eyes studied the hybrid's back. Toned muscles moved with each movement. He started to take off his shirt and threw it where the hybrid's shirt was. I reached behind me unclasping my bra. I threw it to my bedroom floor. I could hear Jim nearly tripping over his jeans. A small smile played on my lips. No one is perfect. I stood before my bed still having my back towards my captain. I shimmied out of my pants and undergarment. The door closed and then a lock was placed. Good idea. Jim's steps sounded slow. His hands hovered over my waist, not sure if he should or not. The heat from my body made my skin have a green tone to it. My body was itching to have its release. I bit my tongue when I finally felt his calloused hands touch my waist. He slowly trailed up and behind towards my back then down my shoulders to my arms. I physically shivered.

He asked softly, "With Vulcans, is everything intensified?"

I replied just as soft, "I thought you researched about this."

Jim cleared his throat, " I did. I want to hear it from you. You are different from your brother and other Vulcans."

I still haven't turned around yet. I reached up placing my hands ontop of his. I gave it a squeeze, "Yes. It feels like little shocks to my body when you touch me. I show more emotion than them on a daily basis so having a Pon Farr intensifies it more than a normal Pon Farr."

His presence drew closer and I let out a shuddered breath when his lips made contact on my neck. Jim didn't say anything else. He didn't have to. I felt it through his light sucking, his light kisses and touches. He could feel the goosebumps he created. He could feel the light trembles when he touched my breast. And I know for sure he could feel my legs give out when he used his fingers to create circular motions over my sensitive nub. I know he would take his time. I can see and feel it. I wonder though if he was like this with his past.