"I don't know how you talked me into this." Semira sighed as she opened a portal. "If anything happens just contact me with our communicators and I'll open a portal back here."

"Right. Merci." Jacques said as he, Rodriguez, Phelan, and Takashi stood with several bags full of supplies.

"I can't believe your risking yourselves for an infantile mission to prank the Joes." Semira said. "Dare I ask why you even want to do this?"

"Because we're bored and there's nothing on TV." Phelan said. "Besides, it'll be fine. After last night's bombardment they're all probably asleep or half-asleep. "

"Let's go." Takashi said as he and others headed through the portal, reemerging at The Pit. It was early morning. Real early. Even the Joes were still asleep. The few guards on base, as Rodriguez noted, were suffering from lack of sleep from the Hellions constant midnight bombardments of the base.

Phelan quickly took charge. "Takashi, you go take care of the dojo. Rodriguez and I will take care of the barracks and Misfit Manor. Jacques, hit the Mess Hall."

"Hai." Takashi agreed as he and Jacques headed off.

"So what did you have in mind?" Rodriguez said as they approached Misfit Manor.

"How about something avante-garde?" Phelan suggested as he offered him a can of spray paint.

"Sounds good." Rodriguez agreed as he took the can and started spraying. "Wow these sprays are really quiet, aren't they?"

"Yup, no one'll hear a thing. Now, how many ways can we call the Misfits losers?" A few minutes later the two of them walked away from a multicolored Manor.

"What else?" Rodriguez asked as they strolled about the base. The guards were so bleary eyed and sleepy that they either didn't notice the Hellions or ended up saluting them.

"How about we put some firecrackers in their munitions and frag grenades in their toilets?" Jacques asked.

"Sounds good." Rodriguez said. "Hey the others are coming back. I guess they're done trashing the Dojo and Mess Hall."

"Why's Takashi holding a teddy bear?" Phelan asked. Takashi walked up to them. Phelan repeated the question.

"I found it in the Dojo duck-taped to a chair and strapped with dynamite. I don't know why. Don't want to know either, for that matter." Takashi added. "I figured I could give it to Naomi."

Jacques shrugged. "Who's up for grabbing a bite? I'm hungry." As the four Hellions walked into the mess hall they found very little food. At least, food that looked appetizing or even edible. So they decided to settle for some coffee. That's where the madness started.

"You know," Phelan said with a wicked gleam in his eye, after about his third cup. "We should take some of this stuff home. But first, let's have a little more fun with this place. Here's what we do…"

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Twenty Minutes Later…

And we all say, Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees! Oh! Well I never was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffolees! It blared over the PA, simultaneously awakening and annoying everyone in The Pit.

"What the heck's going on?" Lance yawned as he staggered outside with the rest of the Misfits and their Handlers.

"Look, it's the Hellions!" Fred pointed. Sure enough, the four Hellions were dashing through the Pit, electrocuting, telekinetically throwing, or slashing through everything in their path.

"Get 'em!" Shipwreck yelled. Once spotted, the Hellions ran past the Joes' rebuilt Hangar. Pilots and drivers scrambled into their craft and started the engines…but nothing happened.

"What's going on?" Cross Country asked. Snowjob took a look at the engines.

"There's something jammed in the engines! It's…underwear?"

"Hey there's underwear in the jet turbines!" Someone yelled.

"And in the tank turrets!" Someone else added.

"It's everywhere!" Beach Head screamed as he opened a supply closet only to be buried in an avalanche of underwear. "Oh god, I think this is the Blob's!"

"Hey and check out this graffiti!" Pietro said. "We pioneered this technique! And I only wore a dress that one time!"

"The Hellions are unstoppable!" Jacques boasted, not noticing the fact that someone very mean and angry looking was standing behind him.

"WHERE. IS. SERGEANT. SNUFFLES?" Beach Head growled in a voice that would've made even Wolverine or the Hulk hesitate.

"Uh…" Takashi said holding up the bear. "Is this what you mean?"

Big mistake.

"OWW!" "MADRE DE DIOS!" "ZAKENNAYO!" The Hellions yelled as Beach Head tackled them, intent on retrieving his beloved stuffed bear.

"Here, go fetch!" Takashi finally said, tossing the bear away. Beach Head dove after it, catching it right before it would've hit the ground.

"Vortex, now!" Phelan yelled into his communicator.

"They're making a break for it!" Lance yelled. "Stop 'em!"

"No problem!" Pietro said as he in front of the Hellions. A portal opened up behind him. "Ha! You're not getting out that way!"

"Never meant to." Rodriguez grinned. "Have fun," He said as Jacques lifted the four of them into the air.

There was a loud moo. Peitro turned around just in time to see a large herd of cows run through the portal.

"Mommy…" Pietro said weakly as he was bowled over by bovine.

"They're attacking us with cattle?" Lina asked. Even as they spoke, the cows were dashing to and fro, some of them even going into buildings and climbing up the stairs, where they promptly got stuck.

"Oh man, the whole place is going to stink. Cowpies everywhere you can blink!" Roadblock groaned.

"Smells of home." Fred said nostalgically.

"One last gift Gee I Don't Know." Jacques said as he telekinetically lowered a video tape down to Roadblock. "Courtesy of the Hellions!" Another portal opened up in front of them and they flew through it. It closed up behind them.

"This is a disaster." Duke said as he looked around; vehicles jammed full of underwear, sugar in gas tanks, munitions blown up, toilets blown up, graffiti everywhere, and cows as far as the eye could see. "Good thing General Hawk is off meeting those fogy old generals over at the Pentagon."

"Actually Duke, those fogy old generals decided to come here." General Hawk sighed from behind Duke, accompanied by several top-ranking generals, all of them looking annoyed.

"Sirs!" Duke said as he snapped off a salute. One general raised an eyebrow.

"I believe you have the wrong flag raised." He said dryly. Duke turned around. Sure enough, the flagpole wasn't waving the American flag (which the Hellions had torn down and used to tie up several guards) but the French Tricolor.

"Oh that is it!" Duke cursed angrily. "That crosses the line!"

"Duke, watch your blood pressure. You don't need to have a breakdown." Shipwreck said. Alpine ran up.

"Hey guys! Bad news! I just looked all over The Pit and it looks like those little creeps stole every drop of booze! Even Shipwreck's hidden stashes!"

"WHAT?" Shipwreck yelled as he grabbed Alpine. "Even my stash in the dojo?"

"Yes."

"My stash under the break room floor?"

"Yeah."

"In the hangar?"

"That one too."

"The women's shower?"

Alpine nodded. "I'm sorry Shipwreck." Shipwreck, his lower lip trembling tossed back his head and howled painfully.

"NOOOOOOOO!" He was accompanied by most of the Joes. The Misfit Handlers were the loudest.

"Might as well see what this is." Cover Girl sighed as she took the videotape from Roadblock and walked into the barracks. The others followed. She put the tape in the VCR and waited. Shortly, the four Hellions who had just attacked the base appeared and were singing.

"You Yankees all are buggerfolk, your mothers all are ruggerfolk! Your army is a bloody joke! You couldn't beat an artichoke! If battle you choose to renew, we'll taunt you 'till you all turn blue! We turn our asses as you part, in your direction we all faaaart!" With that, the Hellions turned around and mooned the camera.

"I really hate those guys." Low Light said, his eye twitching behind his goggles.

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