Author Notes - This story is not dead. Few people may be reading it, but it is not dead. I will finish it, even if it takes me a decade and a half. Which, hopefully, it won't.

This chapter focuses completely on Threepio and 'The Boss' delivering the plans to 'The Captain' and his first mate.

CHAPTER SEVEN - MISSIONARY

'... and the weirdest part was, I didn't even know I could sneeze! Did you, Mistress Syndulla?'

'Oh wooow. That's weird. I didn't know that.'

Maybe if she hadn't heard him rambling for the past half-an-hour, The Boss would express more shock over learning he performed an involuntary action previously-thought to be limited just to organics. Unfortunately for her, Threepio hadn't shut up about his little adventure ever since she arrived to fetch him. At this point, she was only half listening while hoping the elevator ride up to The Captain's office would be quick.

'Oh, that planet was absolutely dreadful!'

'Yeah. I got that.'

As with anyone who had to spend more than five minutes with Threepio, The Boss found herself wanting to reach for that off button. Unlike anyone else, she managed to fight the urge with relative ease. A droid as important as him needed far better treatment than that.

'It doesn't matter anymore.' She said. 'You're back, and you got the plans. Hopefully. If they're for real...' She smiled. 'We can finally return to the planets.'

'Quite.'

Now that Threepio took a moment to be silent for once, The Boss found the silence weird. Almost wrong.

She sighed. 'I was born on this ship. Like my parents. And their parents before them. I don't know what it'd be like to live on the ground.' She turned to the droid. 'Threepio, what was it like?'

Threepio flinched slightly. With how much he loved to talk, he rarely received questions.

'Well, that depends.' He said. 'Which planet do you want me to talk about? All planets were unique after all.'

A pause. 'Coruscant.'

'Oh, Coruscant. The capital of the galaxy. It was one big city, you know.'

With how much time The Boss had spent with Threepio, she had noticed something about him. When he wasn't complaining or whining - which he did a looot - his voice was actually very nice to listen to. The softness along with his accent made for the perfect storytelling voice. She could practically sleep to it, and she meant it in the best possible way. If only he didn't complain so much. Perhaps he should've been a storytelling droid instead.

'Buildings and residents as far as your optical receptors could see. Every kind of creature and species that you could imagine. It was quite beautiful. Despite the high population of over a trillion, the traffic in the sky was surprisingly organised. The streets, on the other hand... well, the police droids were there for a reason.'

'What was the sky like?'

The Boss cringed a little - such childish questions were beneath her. Which seems a little unfair to herself, considering that she had truly never seen a real sky before.

'Far more magnificent than the fake sky this ship has. Our fake sky looks like it ends before it begins. The real sky... now that is gorgeous. It looks like it goes on forever, with clouds so fluffy you want to reach out and touch them.'

Yep. Should've been a storytelling droid. His calm voice relaxed her nerves caused by her usually stressful job.

'Oh, how I miss life on Coruscant. I miss my old master. His lover. His adorable kids. I miss it all...'

It amazed The Boss how after all this time Threepio still thought about his 'original' master and missed him dearly.

'Oh, the twins... I was like a big brother to them.'

The Boss sighed, more forlornly this time. 'You've been through so much, Threepio. More than any of us can even imagine. Are you sure you don't want a memory wipe?'

'I am quite sure, Mistress Syndulla. My memory is much too valuable. However, I do wish I would stop getting asked what it was like watching Coruscant get destroyed. I understand their curiosity, but it is not a memory that I like reliving.'

Even bringing it up as he did made the moment return to the top of his processors. He could easily recall the burning, the screaming, the suffering...

'Don't think about that.' The Boss said. 'We're almost there.'

The elevator came to a stop, and the door slid open to reveal The Captain's office. For the most part, it was just your regular cockpit/control room, loaded with control panels that only The Captain and his first mate had any sort of access to. It had one thing going for it though - a grand view of the giant mall, through a long series of pristine windows.

It was a room that The Boss and Threepio - the latter especially - knew well. Threepio had seen the many ways it had changed over the centuries. He walked away from The Boss to the wall that changed the most over the years - a 'Wall of Fame' of sorts, containing a photo of every single captain who had manned the ship.

The first photo was of a cocky lad who went by the name 'Solo', who always gloated about the fact that he definitely shot first. Only some people believed him. Arguments ensued. He was manned captain due to escaping the Trigon One without a scratch. He didn't like Threepio very much. The feeling was mutual.

Threepio liked looking at this wall, despite how much it reminded him of those no longer around. It stunned him how little they cared about electing the right people anymore. After the 'Solo' guy was his Wookiee co-pilot, who did the job just as well. They went from captains like him to an idiotic Gungan, who crashed the ship into an asteroid fortunately not big enough to cause any real damage. He was captain for a day. They replaced him with the guy they had now, who was better. But not by much.

This time, the captain was a Human. And one that barely knew that he was doing. Speaking of which, The Boss spotted The Captain overlooking the mall from his captain's seat. Like always, you could seen his nerves stiffening as he debated his next move.

'The schedule says a rainy day... but no one will like that. Oh, but protocol calls for it.'

He pressed a button, and the sunny 'sky' above turned dark and cloudy. A universal groan could be heard from the people, a reaction that Threepio couldn't understand for the 'life' of him. A 'rainy day' required, ya know, rain. Threepio had seen many proper rainy days before, and they could be irritating or beautiful. The audio emulation of raindrops on a tin roof was the closest any of these organics would get to experiencing real rain.

Granted, the last rainstorm he was in nearly destroyed his circuits, so perhaps they were the lucky ones.

The Boss had no time to think about this. 'Captain!'

The Captain jumped and spun around with a yelp. 'W-Who's there?! Oh, it's just you Ms Syndulla. What, uh, brings you here?'

Normally Threepio would comment on being ignored for the fiftieth time, but The Boss spoke before him.

'Captain, Threepio has returned.'

'Wait, really? H-He survived?'

Threepio was about to speak to alert The Captain to his position, but the sound of heavy metallic feet stomping towards him interrupted him before he started. And frightened him into freezing on the spot. He turned around slowly, his joints rattling.

'AHHH!'

He fell to the floor in his shock, with a mighty CLANK that echoed in the entire room. In fact, he nearly fell into the trash chute behind him. Before him was the captain's first mate.

'Don't panic, Threepio. I wouldn't hurt a fellow droid.'

The droid who stood before him was not your regular droid, but instead a one-of-a-kind. You could see her astromech parts in her legs and domed head, but she mostly resembled a humanoid female. This custom made droid may have been the 'first-mate' ever since Captain Calrissian built her about a century or two ago, but Threepio never quite got used to her.

'S-Sorry, Elthree-Thirty-Seven.' Threepio apologised. 'I-I just-'

'Don't apologise.' Elthree said. 'An organic wouldn't have to, so you don't either. I'll help you up.'

She reached her hand out for him, and lifted him back onto his feet - a somewhat difficult task seeing as he wasn't built to be as flexible as her.

Elthree turned to The Boss. 'I presume you have given the Rodian and her Human partner the sufficient punishment.'

'Indeed I have.' The Boss said. 'She has been fired from her job. Her partner did not harm See-Threepio in any way, but due to abandoning his post he will still be demoted.'

'I said, the sufficient punishment. You really think merely getting fired is a just punishment for sending someone to a planet specifically to die? Seems light to me. Do correct me if I am wrong, but I assume you would be far harsher if Threepio was an organic instead.'

The Captain was too frightened to say a word - especially to that angry tone - but he somewhat agreed with her. Someone jettisoning another person out in space would be detained at best normally.

Threepio, on the other hand, agreed completely. Though it was at least a century before The Boss was even born, he could easily remember when a troublesome organic thought throwing an astromech into space would be funny. Said organic received nothing more than a minor scolding.

Despite that, he felt the need to speak up. 'N-Now Elthree, I understand your frustration. But you should certainly not bring your anger out on Mistress Syndulla. Punishing my master at all is far better than anyone had done before her.'

'Just because it's better, doesn't mean it's good.' Elthree said.

The custom-made droid stomped towards The Boss, anger obvious in her tense body language. The Twi'lek's expression didn't change, but she backed away slowly with her hands out in front.

'Listen Elthree, I know what you're about to do.' She said. 'If you believe that my punishment was not sufficient, we can discuss it later peacefully. Trying to snap my neck won't help, nor will it prove anything.'

Elthree, at first, seemed totally unconvinced, but still stopped in her tracks. She gave The Boss a glare, one somehow clear through her expressionless face.

'If I may, Elthree.' Threepio said. 'I am a fellow droid, and though I agree that the punishment isn't nearly harsh enough I will acknowledge that Mistress Syndulla bothered punishing her at all. This is simply not the time to discuss this.'

The Captain finally decided to join the conversation for real, though his sweaty face revealed just how much it put him on edge. Whenever Elthree got mad was a scary time.

'Uh, y-yeah.' He said. 'You said something about, uh, the plans. Right?'

'Yes, the plans.' Elthree echoed. 'Let's pretend a droid getting jettisoned to an inhospitable planet was a good thing.'

Threepio couldn't help but note that Elthree seemed a little more obsessed with droid mistreatment than usual.

The Boss took a moment to roll her eyes, and then smiled. 'Of course. Assuming what Threepio found was actually what we were looking for-'

'Well, I didn't actually-'

'-then this multiple century wait can finally come to an end. Show them, Threepio!'

Something about this moment filled the Protocol droid's circuits with joy and pride. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had built him up this much. All those years of 'shut up, Threepio' probably had something to do with it.

'I shall, Mistress Syndulla!' He declared, milking it perhaps too much. 'Right here in my hand, I hold-!' Cue a looong pause. 'Oh.'

The data card had gone totally missing from his hands. He knew his hands weren't the best at gripping, but he also knew - for sure - that those plans were in his hands.

'But... but I was sure I...'

The Boss shared his confusion. She stared at him in shock, glancing around for the bright green object.

'Did you drop it?' She asked.

'Did I drop it? How could accuse me of dropping such important plans!'

'I mean when you fell over a few minutes ago.'

'Oh. Right.'

The Protocol droid and the Twi'lek continued to search around for the elusive plans, but came up short. All the while, The Captain let his disappointment sink in as he slouched back in his chair.

'I-I swear, I had them!' Threepio pleaded. 'I don't know where they could've gone, but I know I had them!'

'I can confirm that Threepio is correct.' The Boss said. 'While I cannot guarantee they were what we were looking for, I can say for certain that Threepio was holding them just a few minutes ago.'

The golden robot looked to The Captain, his blank eyes easy to interpret as begging or pleading. If anyone on this ship knew what happened to 'broken' droids, it was him.

Elthree turned to her captain. 'I hate admitting this, but it seems that unfortunately... the harsh conditions of that planet have messed with Threepio's circuits.'

The Captain buried his face in his hands, debating his next decision. How he hated having choices forced upon him like this. After a while, he shrugged.

'I'm sorry, Threepio.' He eventually said. 'But you understand protocol. You will need to be sent down to the diagnostics for repairs. Elthree, lead him there.'

Elthree nodded. 'I know that the diagnostics is not a nice place,' She spoke with a regretful voice. 'But it is simply the only way to restore your damaged circuits.'

'No! You can't do this to me. Other than you, I am the most important droid on this whole ship! If those mechanics wipe my memory, it'll be your fault!'

Elthree hesitated as she stepped over and grabbed Threepio by the shoulder. The sheer strength in her grasp made him lock up on the spot.

'U-Understood, Elthree.' The Protocol droid stammered. 'I-I will cooperate.'

The Boss watched as the golden droid was carried away in shock, greatly regretting the fact that she was up against the only two people who had more power than her.

'Captain, you can't do this.' She said. 'I can assure you, Threepio had those plans. You can't send him away to get fixed when there is nothing wrong with him. I've already lost a droid and I'm not losing another!'

The Captain sighed. 'I-It's protocol, Ms Syndulla. Faulty droids are sent to diagnostics, where no one will see them. You know what faulty droids can do.'

She growled in frustration at her inability to truly act, and she absolutely would've if it wasn't for that 'protocol' looming over her at any given moment.

'Promise me this.' She said. 'Threepio better get back here the moment he is repaired. With his memory intact.'

Meanwhile, in the 'mall' below, a silver Protocol droid was taking a dirty astromech on a tour.

Author Notes - L3-37 isn't in the character filter? Huh. I've heard she's shockingly unpopular. Which is funny, because (unlike literally every other 'SJW'-type character) I actually really like her. Then again, of course I do. She was for droid rights. I can see why most people don't like her though. She could not have been more preachy.

By the way, 'The Captain' is not an original character by me. You might already know that, but I'm just clarifying.